Forsaking Gray (The Colloway Brothers Book 1) (19 page)

Gray: i’m sending henry for u in the am

My mind hasn’t been far from the unknown man I’ve seen twice now and while it may be smart for me to take what Gray’s offering, I am not about to show up to work in a chauffeured car. Hell no. The train station is only four blocks away from my apartment and there are enough people milling around in the morning that there’s no way this man would try anything, if that’s even his intent.

Me: absolutely not. pls don’t hover. let me do my job or i’ll have to find a new one. one that’s not at ur company

Gray: over my dead fucking body

Ugh. The man is infuriating. It’s one thing to get involved again, but I can’t have people at work knowing that I’m sleeping with the owner of the goddamn company. I need this job and I don’t need to be fodder for gossip at the water coolers or the break room. It’s already bad enough that Wes will be suspicious because he thinks I have a boyfriend and now he’ll think it’s Gray. No one in that room on Friday could mistake the possessiveness and desire emanating from him. For me.
Shit
.

Me: u wore me out the last 24 hours. i need sleep. stop texting

Gray: goodnight livvy. dream of the naughty things i could b doing to u if u were here.

I always do.

Me: ur awfully bossy. now you control my dreams?

Gray: i own every single part of you, livvy. like you do me

I stare at his blatant claim. Yes he does, and I’m having a hard time fighting it. Or him. I knew the second I opened that door last night that I was headed down a path from which I could not turn back. I’m stuck moving forward at warp speed until the mother of all potholes, aka my past, suddenly comes up so fast I cannot veer and I’ll sink.
We’ll
sink. Will it be this week? This month? Next year? Because it’s not a question of if, but when.

Gray: tell me you love me

A smile takes over my face. That was our “thing” back when we were together. He told me early on that he loved me, but it took me a long time to say those three words back—over a year of dating. They seem so simple to most people, but to me, they’re so powerful and meaningful they almost take on a life of their own. Once I finally confessed, he’d always beg me to tell him again. And I always obliged.

Me: i do…i love u

More than life. More than anything.

Gray: i love u 2, angel. sweet dreams

I throw my phone beside me, lie back on the pillow and wonder what in the hell I think I’m doing. I feel like I’ve jumped onto a ride that I can’t get off of, because the speed is steadily increasing and if I try to get off now, I’ll break a leg. But if I wait much longer, I’ll not only break a leg, I’ll break myself completely beyond repair.

Gray tried his best to convince me to stay the night again, but I couldn’t. I need to think. I need to breathe without inhaling his intoxicating scent. I need to keep reality front and center of what my life is like without him, and I can’t do that when I am immersed in him. With his arms around me or his cock inside me, it’s far too easy to get lost in an alternate reality. One with rings and devotion and white picket fences.

The desire to give myself over entirely to that fantasy is almost too great to resist, so I’ll just dip my toe in it instead and that will have to be good enough. I need to keep some distance between us so when my world comes crumbling down around me once again I at least have some hope of surviving. If I start spending every minute of every day with Gray, I know survival won’t even be an option. The worst part of being with Peter wasn’t the forced sex, never being allowed outside or even the beatings. It was being without Gray.

So I’m going to tuck every moment, every kiss, every touch, every memory into a special place reserved only for Gray. I need new ones to fill that space anyway, because God knows I wore the other ones threadbare during the last five years. And when I’m so far in my pit of despair, I’ll pull one out and remember that I was happy once again.

If only for a short while.

Chapter 24

I walk outside, not at all surprised to find Henry standing beside the black Lincoln Town car that I rode in on Saturday night.

He tipped his head as he opened the back door, “Morning, ma’am.”

“Good morning, Henry,” I say, walking right on by. I hear the door close and the sound of quick footsteps behind me.

“Ma’am, please. I’m to take you to work today.”

I stop and turn, surprised to find that he’s right behind me. He’s surprisingly quick for a sixty some year old man. “Look, Henry, I’m terribly sorry to have to put you in the middle of this, but I already told Gray I didn’t need a ride. I’m perfectly capable of getting to work on my own, believe it or not. And I need to get going if I’m going to catch the train.”

I pivot and start walking. I quickly scan the street to make sure I don’t see my stranger before picking up my pace. If I did, I’d quickly be changing my mind about that ride, but I don’t feel the prickly sense of being watched, so I continue forward.

“Mr. Colloway isn’t going to be happy,” he calls after me.

“Yeah, yeah,” I mumble. I throw my hand in the air, acknowledging him. I don’t particularly care if Gray is happy or not. If I thought Gray was possessive before, he’s downright controlling now, and while a tiny part of me revels in it, the part that cares about protecting my heart can’t give in. I may love Gray with everything in me, but I cannot be dependent upon him for simple things like getting to work.

A few minutes later I’m boarding the Red Line for my twenty-minute ride into the city. As I take a seat on the crowded steel tube, I get lost in my thoughts of Gray and the dreamlike weekend that we spent together. I swear I can still feel him between my thighs. I’m already seeing the small ways he’s trying to take control of little parts of my life and I’m torn. Because I want it and need to reject it in equal measure. Somehow, someway, I must keep a small shred of distance between us so I’m not completely lost in him, even though I can think of nothing else I want more.

The announcement for my stop draws me back to reality and I’m quickly exiting the train, along with a horde of others, all diligently making our way for another week of working for “the man”.

When I get up to the twenty-sixth floor and to my cube, something doesn’t look right and my heart drops into my stomach when I realize what it is. I didn’t bring a lot of personal effects to work, but I had a small flowering cactus that Addy had given me on my first day. I had a picture Alyse and me from my high school graduation and one of Kam, Addy and myself at a Cubs game from last summer. We had a great time that hot Saturday afternoon at one of the many rooftop bars that overlook Wrigley Field. The two pitchers of margaritas we had at this quaint little Mexican restaurant beforehand probably helped too.

But the only three things that I’d brought, indicating that the person who occupied this space actually had some semblance of a life, were gone.

Shit…was I fired and not told? Is this retribution from Wes because of my make-believe boyfriend, or God forbid, he thinks I’m involved with Gray?

“Why are you here?” Wes’s voice snapped.

“I…I, uh…”
Because I work here?
Or at least I did.

“You should be up on the thirty-fourth floor. I hear Mr. Colloway doesn’t tolerate lateness. But you probably know that already.” His caustic tone grates on my nerves, not to mention I have absolutely no idea what this asshole is talking about.

“What do you mean I should be on the thirty-fourth floor?” I’m genuinely confused as to what’s going on here.

“What? You don’t know?” His laugh is filled with malice. “Apparently over the weekend you were reassigned as Mr. Colloway’s new assistant. Better get that pretty ass moving, sugar, you don’t want to keep the boss waiting.”

“What?” I breathe, not at all believing what I just heard. Disbelief quickly morphs into anger, which is escalating rapidly into pure rage. Why would Gray do this? I told him not to hover. I told him to let me do my job. Just as Wes opens his mouth to make another biting remark, a grey-haired, heavier set woman rounds the corner. And she looks to be on a mission.

“Livia Kingsley?” she asks. Her voice is cheery and she radiates motherly warmth. I nod, unable to speak through the fire building in my belly, which is spreading like hot lava through my veins.

“Good, good. Come with me dear. You were supposed to be upstairs almost ten minutes ago.” She starts walking back in the direction from which she came and I have no choice but to follow or be left behind.

“I—I didn’t know,” I stammer.

“Really? I’m surprised someone didn’t at least call you. I mean, it is sudden, but you certainly must have impressed Gray, because he wouldn’t pick just anyone to be his assistant. He’s very particular. But boy am I glad he did, because I’m down to less than two weeks before I retire and I want to make sure I leave his new assistant behind with everything she’ll need to succeed. It’s going to be pushing it, but we’ll manage, don’t you worry, dear.”

We enter the elevator and the woman, who has yet to introduce herself by name, still continues to babble, but I’ve stopped listening. I can’t hear anything through the blood rushing in my head and the fury roaring loudly in my ears.

As soon as we exit the elevator, I blindly follow the woman down a series of hallways until we reach a large corner office with frosted windows. The nameplate on the outside says Gray Colloway in large black block letters. His door is closed and I hear voices coming from inside. I don’t give a shit if he’s hosting the President of the motherfucking United States, I march past the desk that is now supposedly mine and I head straight for that door. I throw it open so hard it bounces off the wall behind it and two sets of eyes turn my way.

One, I’m all too familiar with and is the target of my wrath, but the other belongs to a stunning woman in a clingy white blouse and tight black skirt who is presently standing next to Gray’s seated form, leaning over his desk. From where I stand, I can see directly down her cleavage and if Gray turns his head slightly, those girls will practically be smothering him.

“Livia, I’m in the middle of something. Can this wait?” He looks past me, adding, “Bonnie, it’s fine.” Bonnie must be his current assistant’s name and I hear her reply “okay” from behind me.

“Livia?” I mock, stretching out my name into practically three separate words.

“I guess not.” He looks at the woman next to him who is now standing so at least I don’t have to see her big-ass tits. And Gray no longer has a birds-eye view of her nipples. “Thank you, Camille. I’ll call you if I have any questions.”

The blond seductress makes her way toward me and surprisingly holds out her hand. “Hi. I’m Camille Hayes, Vice President of Human Resources. You must be Gray’s new assistant.”

Now not only don’t I like the way she dresses, I don’t like the way she says Gray’s name like she’s intimately familiar with him. And as the head of HR, perhaps she should dress a little more conservatively. Like…wear a gunny sack or something so she covers those bad boys up. I look at her hand for a moment like it’s a cobra, but decide that I shouldn’t take my ire out on her so I extend mine. “Livia Kinsley.”

“Camille, please close the door on your way out. Bonnie, everything is fine.” Apparently Bonnie didn’t take the hint the first time and I’m sure she’s wondering what kind of crazy Gray just hired.

Camille walks past me, closing the door much softer than how it was opened. Goodie for her.

“What the hell did you do?” I grit as soon as our audience has left. I want to scream at him, but I’m afraid Bonnie may call security. I can’t say I would blame her. I’m feeling pretty homicidal.

He stands and walks over to me with an amused look on his handsome face, which I simultaneously want to kiss and slap off. “What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean. Why am I suddenly working for you, instead of Wes?” At the mention of my current, former—whatever he is—boss, Gray’s face looks as stormy as the sky before it opens up, deluging you with its fury. I roll my eyes.

“Wes?” His name drips off Gray’s tongue like he’d just eaten a piece of liver, which I know he despises.