Forgiving Hearts: Duncurra 1-3 (7 page)

“Aye,” said another woman, “then it’s off to bed with her for a nap. Weak she is.”

“Or plain lazy,” added another.

Then to his surprise he heard banging on the table, and in a manner befitting the laird, Edna yelled, “Enough!”

The women fell silent.

“The ‘brazen thing’ about whom ye are speaking is our laird’s wife. Can any of ye holy women tell me how that lass was supposed to know our traditions? Do ye think the MacLennan women would have been more gracious than ye, or did ye expect our laird or the other big eejits who brought her here, worried about whether she covered her hair or not?”

There was only guilty silence.

“Bridie, who tied your kertch on ye and asked for God’s blessing the day after your wedding? Caolan, Seanna, who did yours?”

The women didn’t answer.

“My mother did and I suspect your mothers, or another woman who loved ye, did the same for each of ye. Who blessed this child? The uncle who beat her half to death? She has no mother, nor, it seems, any compassionate clanswoman to guide her.”

Fingal smiled. The silence told him the women were sufficiently embarrassed, but Edna continued. “What other choice words did I hear? ‘Weak?’ Was it ‘lazy’ ye called her, Caolan? The laird ordered her to rest and he was right to do so. Alan said he didn’t think she was going to live through the night when they arrived at Brathanead less than a sennight ago. Do ye begrudge a lass who has been that ill a rest after a long day’s journey?”

Again her indictment was met with ringing silence. “Perhaps none of ye have stopped to think about this, but it seems to me the king, the lass’s uncle, and our laird have all benefitted in one way or another by this marriage, but I am hard pressed to see any benefit to the lass herself. And don’t tell me being wed to him is benefit enough. If ye are honest, most of ye know as well as I do marriage to him will not be easy.”

Well, trust Edna to be blunt
, thought Fingal with a grin, but her last weapon was clearly meant to lay them low.

“I suspect Lady Katherine will do many things over the next few months that all of ye might find odd or even insulting, but before ye decide to spew any more venom, remember Lady Katherine’s wealth saved this clan, and see if ye can find a bit of compassion in your hearts for her.”

Niall intended only to address the most urgent issues, but as usual they were all urgent and it took longer than he thought it would. Just before the evening meal, he finally joined Katherine in his chamber, expecting to find her asleep. Instead, she stood looking out the window and the bed hadn’t been disturbed. “I am fairly certain I told ye to rest,” he said, more than slightly irritated.

“I did rest,” she answered. “You didn’t say sleep, but I couldn’t have anyway. I rested in the chair and now I’m resting looking out the window,” she said with a smile.

He was not amused. “Katherine, ye knew what I meant. If I ask ye to do something, I want no argument. I expect ye to do it.”

Katherine considered that statement for a moment before replying with a slightly cheeky grin. “Perhaps then, you will be more specific with your next order.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle. “Let me try again. Come here and kiss me, wife,” he commanded.

She crossed the room into his arms and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.

“That is not at all what I had in mind,” he said, and lowered his lips to hers, giving her a passionate, soul-stirring kiss. “That, my sweet little wife, is a kiss.”

“Do you see how important details are?” she said audaciously.

He gave a low growl, “I would be happy to give ye plenty of details on this subject, but it will have to wait until after dinner.” He kissed her again before asking, “Ye had a question earlier?”

“Aye,” she answered, her expression turning serious. “I was wondering what is to be done with Tomas?”

He, too, had been trying to determine what would be best for Tomas. She seemed fond of the lad and she obviously wanted to protect him from her uncle. However, in general, Lowlanders were as class-conscious as the English. Therefore, as a peasant, the son of a stable hand, Tomas’ social status was only slightly higher than a serf’s. He did not want the lad growing up without a mother’s love. He had warm memories of his own mother and bitter memories of Eithne’s cruelty. Although she hadn’t revealed the harsh side of her personality to her husband, it was evident to nearly everyone else, but perhaps most evident to her stepson. Even after she had a son of her own, nothing changed; she treated Fingal no better than she did Niall. In the lad’s best interest, Niall thought perhaps it would be better for Tomas to live with the family of one of his clansmen, but he didn’t want to discuss this now. He finally answered, “I haven’t decided yet. For tonight he will stay with Fingal as he has been. We will discuss it in the morning.”

Although Katherine didn’t appear happy about it, she said no more.

Wanting to banish the solemn look from her face, Niall kissed her again. Her warm response pleased him immeasurably, and the kiss had its desired effect; she no longer looked troubled. “Ye’re distracting me again, lass. My clan will starve if ye don’t desist.”

“I’m distracting you?”

“Well, the details on who is distracting whom may be a bit fuzzy. We will have to work them out later,” he said with a wink and, taking her elbow, led her downstairs for the evening meal.

Niall walked to the refectory table in the great hall with Katherine on his arm. Generally, everyone who lived or worked in and around the keep ate their meals on the trestle tables, while the laird’s family and invited guests dined at his table. Diarmad and Fingal were seated there, as well as Alan. Niall introduced their other guests, Cairbre, his other captain, Cairbre’s wife, Maude, and Alan’s wife, Effie. Katherine appeared thrilled to see Tomas at the table too, and gave the lad a quick hug before taking her seat.

She seemed to enjoy the company of the two women. Effie and Maude told her stories about their families and the clan and kept Katherine laughing through the meal. Niall conversed with his men, but Katherine’s voice or her musical laughter frequently distracted him and he often caught himself gazing at her.

“Laird, are ye listening?” he heard Cairbre ask.

“Listening? My apologies, I was preoccupied for a moment.”

“A moment? Ye have been preoccupied all evening,” Cairbre answered. “Ye can’t take your eyes off her. Has she captured your heart, lad?”

Momentarily taken aback, Niall recovered quickly. “Make no mistake, Cairbre,” he said soberly, “she is lovely and she pleases me. I am glad she is my wife, but my heart was never part of this bargain.”

The Laird retired with his wife as soon as the evening meal ended. It had been a very long day and his yearning to taste her charms once again had only intensified during the meal. This surely was what Cairbre had perceived. Once they reached their chamber, Niall pulled her into his arms and kissed her. She was so sweet and responsive. He wondered how he had been able to think of anything other than kissing her since he first captured her lips in the chapel at Cotharach. If he thought giving into those desires the previous evening at Brathanead would quench his need, he realized now he was sorely mistaken. He explored her mouth zealously with his tongue as she responded eagerly.

He pulled her hair loose from the braid, running his fingers through it. Clutching the silky lengths. He sought her mouth, finding her kisses and mewling responses intoxicating.

He held her at arm’s length for a moment, just looking at her. “Ye are truly beautiful, Katherine. I don’t think I will ever tire of looking at ye.” Pulling her close again, he buried his face in her neck, kissing it. “And, ye are sweet enough to eat.” He gave her a playful nip, causing her to giggle. That musical sound, which had distracted him all evening, was now his alone to enjoy.

“Lass, ye delight me,” he said huskily.

She giggled again. “I haven’t quite figured out what it is you do to me.”

He laughed and lifted her into his arms. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to keep doing it then, at least until you get it sorted out,” he said, and kissed her head.

~ * ~

After their lovemaking, Katherine lay warm and comfortable in his arms. In moments his breathing had become slow and regular and she knew he had drifted off to sleep. She found that a little astonishing because she felt energized. As she listened to his deep steady breaths, she enjoyed feeling the weight of his arms around her.

She had never really imagined what it might be like to fall in love, or to feel loved by a man. Smiling to herself, she supposed that as a young lass she might have had some romantic notions about love. She couldn’t really remember too much about her parents’ relationship. As in her marriage, her parents barely knew each other when they wed, but they had seemed affectionate. She remembered her father’s sorrow when her mother died. Maybe they had grown to love each other.

After her father died, she’d had precious little time to think of much else other than protecting her clan and herself from her vicious uncle. The fear of who her uncle might choose for her accompanied any thought of marriage, so she avoided romantic thoughts at all costs.

Now she found herself in the arms of a husband who, by all accounts, was a good man who was respected by his clan. She enjoyed his company and she reveled in his love-making. She knew she could love Niall, but she feared he could not love her in return. She had heard him tell Cairbre, “My heart was never part of this bargain.” A voice inside told her to tread carefully; there would be pain on this road. It would be best to accept what Niall could offer, but at all costs protect her heart.

Then Father James’ words came back to her.
You have learned the surest way to open yourself to hurt is to love, and yet you love anyway.
She realized it was too late. Not only
could
she love him, but she feared she had already lost her heart.
If you can’t love me back, Niall, please, please, don’t hurt me too badly.

~ * ~

The sun had risen when Niall woke in the morning with the beautiful nymph from last night still in his arms. The lacerations on her back had mostly healed, leaving red scars. He knew eventually they would fade, joining the other fine white lines there, but he wondered if he would ever be able to look at them without a murderous rage building. He leaned down to kiss her white shoulder.

She stirred and rolled over to face him. Smiling sleepily, she said, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, my sweet,” he said and kissed her.

She stretched like a cat as she wrapped her arms around him, returning his kiss full measure. He wanted nothing more than to make love to her again as he had last night, but he knew he should give her a little time. He pulled away, saying, “Ah, temptress, we will have to pick this up later, or nothing will ever be accomplished at Duncurra again.”

“Well, then, get off me, ye brute,” she said, laughing. As he rolled to his side, she hopped out of bed, washed quickly, and dressed. After watching her for a bit, he, too, rose to dress and as he did, she asked, “Niall, have you given any more thought to Tomas?”

He really didn’t want to start the morning out with this, but he knew he had to address the issue. Resigned to it he answered, “Some. Tell me, why was Tomas living in the stable at Cotharach?”

“Because I was fond of him and my uncle is cruel.”

He frowned and said, “I was looking for a bit more information than that.”

She sighed, “It isn’t just that Uncle Ambrose is cruel, it is almost as if he enjoys causing pain. He takes pleasure in his victim’s reaction to it.”

The anger Niall felt earlier, when looking at her scarred back, rose again.

Katherine paced as she explained. “I learned if I controlled my emotions and didn’t let him see he was hurting me, he soon lost interest in trying. Then he discovered he could hurt me through other people. If he saw me show someone a kindness, causing that person pain became another way to punish me. When Tomas’ grandfather died a few months ago, Uncle Ambrose found a new target in the boy. He said he was being very generous to let Tomas live in the stable and if anyone interfered, they would be punished. I interfered a bit.”

Niall arched an eyebrow. “The scars on your back suggest ye interfered more than a bit.”

“All right, I interfered a lot, but no one else dared.”

Niall thought about this for a moment. “So you feel responsible for him?”

“Partially, I suppose.” Her brow furrowed as she appeared to consider her feelings about the little boy.

“I have clansmen with families who would take him in.”

She looked stricken. “Do you think that is best? I was hoping—I was just hoping...” she stammered. “Niall, please, can he not just stay with us?”

Niall reached for her to stop her pacing. With his hands on her shoulders, he said, “As what Katherine—a stable boy? He needs parents.”

“Can we not be his parents?”

“Ye are asking me to claim a Lowland peasant child as my foster son?”

“It doesn’t matter to me that he was a peasant. I—I’m sorry, I didn’t think it would matter to you. I love him,” she finished somewhat helplessly.

She had finally said the words he wanted to hear. “That doesn’t matter to me. I want him to have parents who love him.” He paused again, considering the decision he was about to make. “I think he will. He is ours.”

She rewarded him with a heart-stopping smile and, to his surprise, threw her arms around him and kissed him soundly.

~ * ~

When they arrived in the great hall they found a number of people there breaking their fast. Fingal, Diarmad, and Tomas sat at the laird’s table.

Before Niall and Katherine joined them, Edna, Bridie, and several other women approached. Edna said, “Laird, there is something the women of the clan would like to give Lady Katherine.”

He nodded to her and she turned to Katherine.

“My lady, it is a Highland tradition that when a woman is married, she covers her hair with a kertch.” She indicated the covering on her own head. “It is a triangle of pure white linen and represents the Holy Trinity, under whose guidance the bride will walk. By custom, the bride’s mother or another clanswoman ties it on her head the morning after her wedding, asking for God’s blessing on the new bride.”

Bridie stepped forward and said, “We became your clanswomen when ye married our laird and, although a few mornings have passed since your wedding, we would like to give ye a kertch now.” She tied the kertch on Katherine’s head. Together the women said the prayer for God’s blessing and each one gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Overcome by the gesture, Katherine let several tears slipped down her cheeks before she could blink them back. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Edna gave her a quick hug, and the other women curtsied before excusing themselves.

Niall hadn’t thought much about it, frankly, but the fact that his clanswomen had welcomed her in this way pleased him. Even though it was not a custom in the Lowlands, the gracious way in which Katherine had accepted it also pleased him. Smiling, he took her hand, guiding her to the table. She wiped away her tears as they sat down. Tomas looked at her seriously and said in a loud whisper to Fingal, “Lady Katherine doesn’t like people to see her cry.”

“It’s all right, Tomas,” she said, embarrassed. “These are happy tears.”

“Tomas,” Niall said, his voice sounding very serious.

“Aye, Laird?” Tomas answered in a small voice.