Forgiving Gia (Rocker Series Book 2) (18 page)

“What the fuck are you doing?” Gia’s voice pierced right through me, killing any buzz I had. She took the breath right out of me.
Think Abel. Think. Before you open your eyes
.

“What?” I tried to seem indifferent, eyeing her as she stood naked before me.

Her hand motioned to the lines of coke in front of me. “And what in the fuck is this?” She shook. Fuck, I’d never seen her pissed.

“Coke…and?” I questioned. I knew I was being a dick. However, I did have a role to play. I decided to play it true. It was Rock and Roll, right?

“Since when do you do coke?” she screamed. “You’re out here getting high while I’m sleeping in the next room?” she asked.

“So is this about me partaking without you or that I’m alone like a deviant addict?” I questioned. It was a fair enough question.

“I didn’t know you were a drug addict. Excuse me for thinking your partying was occasional.” She stormed off, slamming the bedroom door shut.

“Gia,” I called after her. “I told you this relationship would be like no other relationship you ever had.” I laughed to myself. Fuck I was high. She never heard me, I’m sure. She was pure. I was polluted. We were different. Yet we worked…well, at least until now.

I swallowed down the rest of the scotch and tried to present myself as straight as possible. The truth was, I was fucked-up. I looked in the hallway mirror next to our bedroom door. My skin was pale…my pupils ate away the rest of the color of my eyes. I looked positively possessed. I decided not to press my luck and went to sleep in the second bedroom…

Morning came way too fast. The sun peeked through the curtains and a silhouette in the corner of the room caught my attention. I sat up, still rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

“Gia?” I called out, questioning the image before me. I wasn’t still fucked-up. I was fuck straight. I moved to the edge of the bed, confused. I was filled with pride and yet sickened with shame and guilt.

Gia was kneeling on the floor before me—naked. The only thing she donned was a red scarf across her eyes. A perfect submissive pose. She was bowing. Her arms were stretched out in front of her, head bowed down. She looked so beautiful in that position. Her displayed vulnerability only made the fact that I’m such an asshole harder to swallow. My chest tightened. She was perfect. I was literally ill right now.

“Don’t move, Beauty. I’ll be right back,” I said as I took off to the bathroom. I needed a shower. I didn’t even want to touch her after last night. How she saw me. I was so disgusted with myself that I wanted to puke.

Fuck. I leaned against the vanity. My stomach rolled…sweat beading on my forehead. Guilt and shame weren’t something I could wash off in the shower. However, I didn’t want to touch her after using last night. The disappointment I saw in her eyes, I will never forget. How could I be a practicing Dom…her Dom, and yet be so reckless? Not to mention, what an unforgiving motherfucker I’d been in the past. Ugh. I made myself sick. Today would be a new day. She gave without thought. I took without conscience. I needed to be better. And for her, I’d be my best.

Beauty still held her pose. I took a minute to soak in her thick chocolate locks in contrast to the crème carpet. Lush was one of the many words on my tongue. The man in me wanted to grab her by the hair and take her hard. But the Dom in me knew she had to be handled carefully. I didn’t want her to perceive this a rejection. Fuck. She should’ve been rejecting me, but as a good submissive, she showed me how dedicated she was to our relationship. A good Dom would never set aside his submissive who’d done nothing wrong. However, this was an extreme circumstance, and possibly a pivotal one in our relationship.

I sat on the edge of the bed with my face in my hands. “Beauty, please look at me.”

She slowly rolled up to a sitting pose…eyes down.

“Come here, my beauty. Let me hold you, please.”

She slowly looked up with tears in her eyes. Oh, fuck, this was going to be bad. I went to her and picked her up…going to her. My body language was such to let her know she’d done nothing wrong. It was about me. I cradled her as she was the most delicate blossom in my life.

A sob escaped her and my heart shattered. “You…you don’t want me?” A tear ran down her cherub cheek. Oh, God, kill me now. Just fucking kill me. I am not worthy of her. Never was.

“I want you more than my own life. More than my need for air. You have no idea.” I peppered her face with kisses. “I want to apologize to you, Gia. I lost control. No, that’s a fucking lie. I haven’t been in control for a while now. I’ve been using. I use when I’m emotional. But the point is…I’ve been using. Using to feel. Using not to feel. And for that, I’m sorry. I want to vow to you that will no longer happen—ever.” I grabbed her chin forcing her to look at me. She needed to understand the level of my commitment. I’d been a real douche. Time to set things straight. “Without you, there is no me, Beauty. I can’t lose you. And I’m afraid I haven’t done everything in my power to do right by you.” I followed those words with a kiss. A kiss of solemnity.

“Can I ask you a question?” she asked nervously and I nodded. “Am I not enough for you? Is there something more I should be doing? Tell me and I’ll do it.” She never blinked. She was fucking serious…taking my pain and making it hers.

“Beauty, I couldn’t ask for a better sub. I use drugs because I’m an asshole. That’s the plain and simple truth.” I kissed her tiny hands. “Your need for me fulfills my want for you,” I explained. However, I needed to go further. “The saying goes: A sub needs to be wanted and a Dom wants to be needed. They work because of each other. Period. Without a sub, there is no Dom. And vice versa. Do you understand?” She shook her head. However, I wasn’t convinced. “I want to be better. To be worthy of your submission. After last night, I don’t feel that I am. This is about where my head is. Not at all because of anything you’ve done or haven’t done. You hear me, Beauty? I’m in love with you, Gia. So fucking in love with you it hurts to look at you sometimes. Right now, all I want to do is make love to you. No kinky fuckery. Just you beneath me, letting me show you how much I love you—slowly.”

And so, I spent the next hour showing her that a good Dom can submit to his nature and love his woman without the aid of whips, chains, and a good ole spreader bar. Just my cock, loving her pussy to the best of my ability. My arms holding the woman I love. Me. Not some gadget or device. My hands. My heart. My mind. My love….

Gia’s family home was not more than a twenty-minute drive from the office. Junipers lined the quaint residential neighborhood giving a passerby a feel of upper middle-class. The block bustled with children playing basketball and riding their bikes, smiling in the face of the sun. However, I knew what evil lurked behind the door I was about to walk into. I was looking forward to meeting this poor excuse of a mother. If I wanted to help my son and Gia, I needed to get ahead or thwart any plots of destroying them. I knew all too well a grifter’s language was money. I had attaché case with enough of it to make her my bitch. Showtime.

“Right here is fine, Jeffery,” I called to my driver, a long-time employee of the family who was not only my driver, but also my head of security.

“Yes, sir. You want back-up?” he asked, looking in the rearview mirror.

“Not necessary. She’s not a physical threat. She’s in a wheelchair. Keep the car running; this won’t take long,” I said, getting out of the car and slamming the door behind me. I was positive by the motion of the curtain that she was well aware of my presence.

I knocked none too gently on the door. I wasn’t in the mood for niceties. The door opened and a devil-may-care smile met me. “I’m Timothy Gunner. Are you Ms. Mastro?” I asked sternly.

“Was. And I’ve been expecting you. Thought you’d be here sooner. Please, come in.” she said, leaning her weight on a cane.

I nodded and walked past her, entering the foyer. I looked around. The inside was better than I anticipated. It dripped of the social climbing wench that she was. The furniture looked barely used and the baubles were very Franklin Mint. A pair of crutches was resting against the wall and I couldn’t help but think how very symbolic it was of a truly wicked mother. It may as well been a broom. With a sigh and a shake of my head, I sat in the armchair in front of me.

She hobbled her way across the room, taking the seat across from me.

“May I offer you a cold beverage?” She smiled, leaning in my direction.

“No.” My answer was clipped. “This is far from a social visit, Ms…”

“Ava, please,” she said.

“Ava,” I repeated, letting her name roll off my tongue—acrid and poisonous, just like she was. Her name suited her. She looked like an Ava, too. For all the smiles she put forth, it couldn’t take away from the full-of-shit air just underneath the surface. I knew she was full of shit. She reeked of it. I rested my attaché case on the coffee table in front of us and watched as her eyes went up in wonder and excitement.

“What have you got there?” She leaned in. I wanted to snap her face shut in it, but didn’t.

“Cash. You do understand cash, right? I will give you 250,000 dollars to never contact Gia again.”

Her eyebrow raised in question.

“And tell me of any conversations or plots you and Morgana have hatched.” I moved the money away from her, showing her I meant business.

“Done.” Her eyes glistened as she licked her cracked lips. “Funny, I always thought giving birth to a child would mean putting them above all else. However, with Gia, I often wondered when I was going to kill her. I’m not meant to be a mother, Mr. Gunner,” she explained.

All I could think about was that poor girl. My heart broke for her.

“Clearly. You should have given her up for adoption, let a loving couple raise her. That would have been the compassionate thing to do,” I huffed angrily.

“I’m not compassionate. And she was my cash cow.” She laughed. Christ. I needed to get out of there before I killed this woman myself.

“The money’s yours. What of Morgana?” I cut her off. I didn’t want to hear any more. I was beyond sick.

“Hmm…” She tapped her chin. “Last we spoke, she was ranting about how you rode in on your white horse to save my daughter.” She smirked. It turned my stomach that she even referenced Gia as her daughter.

“What else?” I pressed.

“She said she belongs with your son. Whereas, Gia’s too inexperienced for his…let’s say—tastes.” She smirked.

I stiffened at that insinuation. Fuck. We didn’t need that getting into the media. Morgana’s been threatening Gia for a few months and that’s all she’s got? Well, that and now threatening bodily harm.

“She gave me money to help her threaten, or as I’d like to put it…manage Gia. Gia’s very easy to manipulate.” She shook her head in disgust. “Has someone in Paris working with her. Someone on the inside.” She scratched a now bleeding scab on her arm.

I looked to her other arm, noticing the same types of scabs there, too. Junkie. My stomach rolled. I couldn’t stand being there a moment longer.

“Did she mention whom?” I asked.

She fingered her pocket for something. I thought maybe a name she wrote down, but she popped a pill in her mouth. This woman was vile. It was hard to believe such a loving girl was birthed from this jackal.

“No, just that it was someone she’s been paying money to. She didn’t seem too happy about it, either. She said he was getting too close to Gia. She didn’t know if she could still trust ‘em. Though, by the way she spoke of him, I got the feeling they knew each other well. If that helps,” she explained.

I removed the papers I had prepared for her to sign.

“What are these?” she asked.

“Oh, insurance, Ava. This is
my
safety net. Between tax evasion, fraud, and embezzlement, you will spend the rest of your natural life in jail. If there was a way to charge you with endangering the welfare of a minor or child abuse…you can bet your life I’d have that here, too. However, with the statute of limitations and Gia’s unwillingness to prosecute you, this is my next best option. Take this money and move far away. I don’t give a fuck where. If you go back on our agreement…these papers find their way to the authorities. I will call in every favor to make sure you never see the light of day.” I showed her where to sign. She signed with no conscience and ease. Poor Gia. My heart bled for her. But this was the best gift I could give her and my son. I’d never be able to rest knowing this serpent was close to bringing harm to my family. And with the hold she still had on Gia, I couldn’t trust that Gia had the stomach to do what was best for her.