Forgiven (30 page)

“Cut!” Mitch flew off his chair and stormed the remaining distance toward him.

Not far off, the paparazzi fought for position, snapping pictures all the while.

The director kept walking until he was two inches from Dayne’s face. “You don’t know the lines?”

He glanced for a second to where Katy was standing. She had her back turned, and he figured she must’ve known. How could he concentrate with her watching him?

This had rarely happened to him in all his days of acting. He could be dating one girl and playing the boyfriend role for another. He could even do a bedroom scene with an actress while a girlfriend watched.

But none of them had become part of him the way Katy had, the way she always would be.

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“Matthews!” Mitch was seething now. “Get focused!” ; A fine layer of his spit hit Dayne on the cheek. He wiped it o but he didn’t dare smile. “Sorry. I know the lines.” “You better.” The director spun around and returned to hi chair. Kelly shot him a weak smile. “Distracted by my beauty, huh?” she whispered. “Yeah.” He made a face. “What can I say?” The scene was slated again, and this time they got all the way’ to the part where Dayne was supposed to take hold of Kelly’ shoulder and pull her into an alleyway. He did just that, careful to keep his expressions in line with his dialogue. But as h pressed her against the brick wall and moved in to give her the kiss that was supposed to take her breath away—the one that should take away the breath of every female who would watch the movie—he tripped over his lines again. This time he walked away and tossed his hands. Before Mitch could yell at him, he grinned at the director. “She’s making me nervous,” he shouted loud enough for everyone around the perimeter to hear. “I think I have a crush on her.” Dayne’s pronouncement was enough to send a ripple of gig gles along the rows of fans.

Even the paparazzi smiled as they snapped his picture and noted for the record that the onscreen chemistry between Dayne and Kelly was so strong it was mess ing with Dayne’s ability to remember his lines. Except that was a lie, of course. Dayne knew it and Mitch knew it, and at that point, Kelly had to know it too. Dayne crossed the street, and as he did he looked off to the side at Katy.

She was watching him again, and her eyes held an apology. He gave her the slightest shake of his head and hoped she would understand. No, he couldn’t talk; no, he didn’t want her there watching him; and no, this wasn’t what he wanted. But he had no choice. She seemed to understand, because from the corner of his eye

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he saw her say something to Jenny and Rhonda. After a minute the three of them turned and left. By then he was midway through a brief conversation with Mitch and Kelly.

“Whatever’s going on in your head, Dayne, get it out.” Mitch was beyond angry.

For the first time he looked worried. “This kissing scene has to be one of those they talk about in chat rooms across the country.” He took hold of Dayne’s arm.

“You know that kind of kiss, Matthews?”

Katy’s face came to mind. Dayne blinked and nodded. “Yeah, Mitch. I know it.”

“You should.” Kelly was still smiling, trying to keep the moment light. After all, everyone around them thought he was simply too smitten with Kelly to keep up the pretense of the scene. She tapped her finger on his chest. “That’s how you used to kiss me.”

Mitch waved his hands. “None of this used-to stuff.” He pointed at the alleyway across the street. “Go kiss the girl, Matthews.”

He put his arm around Kelly as they walked back to their spots. “Sorry. It’s just taking me longer to get into character.”

“How about if I don’t look too deeply into that one, okay?”

She leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Let’s get it right.”

“We will. I promise.”

Dayne kept his word this time. With Katy gone, he could focus all his anger and longing, all his frustrations on the scene. The kiss came out fantastic, filled with the kind of passion and rage and impossibility that marked the best onscreen moments.

When they were finished, Mitch stood up and clapped. “Perfect, people! That’s what I’m talking about!” He directed the bullhorn toward the fans. “How about that? What do you think?”

The people cheered and screamed their approval. Some of the women called out Dayne’s name. “Kiss me like that, Dayne!” “We love you, Dayne!”

“We’re still desperate, Dayne!”

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Kelly had her admirers too. A group of guys playing in the park had come over and found a spot along the tape. They ‘i hooted at her and tried to get her attention. “You need a real man, Kelly Parker. Take one of us!”

Dayne didn’t care about any of it. The only thing that mat. tered was he’d found a way to pull off the scene. Not because of his acting skill or because he’d been able to get into character. Not because of Mitch Henry’s harping, either.

But because he’d forced himself to look at his leading lady and see the face and eyes of someone else altogether.

A young drama instructor who had just walked away one more time without looking back.

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-i:. …………..

KATY DROVE HOME FROM REHEARSAL still mad at her self for going to the location shoot two days ago. She had known

from the beginning that it was a bad idea, but Rhonda wouldn’t give up.

“You mean he was sitting in the sanctuary for two whole re hearsals and you never introduced us?” She was half furious, half crushed. “Then you have to take me to the location shoot, Katy.”

She talked it over with Jenny, and the two of them decided it couldn’t hurt.

They would stand on the perimeter and watch the happenings. If Dayne wasn’t too busy, they’d say a quick hello and Katy could introduce Rhonda.

But that wasn’t how it turned out at all.

Of course they’d shown up just when Dayne and Kelly were trying to film a love scene. Katy knew that part of the script well. It was a turning point, the time when the female lead realizes that she can’t win. She wants to stay in her small town, but she wants the male lead more.

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The kiss was supposed to show her passion for him, her strug gle about what the future held. But as soon as Dayne spotted

Katy, she had the feeling things weren’t going to work out. “He saw you,” Rhonda had whispered.

“I know.” Katy had turned around. “Let’s go. This is awk ward.”

“It’s not awkward; it’s amazing.” Rhonda took a step closer and motioned to Jenny. “Come on, we’re too far back.”

The next few minutes told Katy she was right. Dayne was making mistakes she could only blame on herself.., and why not? They had left things without any real solution, no closure. Of course her presence would distract him.

She turned into the Flanigans’ driveway, parked, and climbed the stairs to her apartment without being noticed. Before an other night went by she was determined to research Kabbalah on her computer. It was something she’d told Dayne she would do, and she wasn’t going to fail him. Not on this. He would leave Bloomington soon. But his faith, his salvation weren’t anything to mess with.

She had a feeling neither was Kabbalah.

Now she had to find the reasons why, the proof that would help him find his way to God—the God of his adoptive parents.

She tossed her bag on the bed and pulled a letter from her pocket. Tim Reed had handed it to her as practice was ending, and she hadn’t had a chance to read it until now. She opened it and smiled at the boyish printing.

Just wanted to thank you for making the Bible study a weekly thing. I think we all need it.

Tim

Her heart hurt in a good way when she thought about how the CKT kids were coming together. That first night, after she’d told 251

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them Jeremy Fisher’s story, they had read about the Prodigal Son. It wasn’t fair, a few of the kids pointed out, and Katy had to agree.

Why would a father throw a party for the bad son, the one who had made all the wrong choices? the one who had come home empty-handed? Especially when the father had never thrown a party for the good son? But that wasn’t the point of the story, and by the end of that evening the kids seemed to understand.

The point was, the father loved his kids. Both his kids. Every day was a party for the good kid, because he had a pure uninterrupted relationship with his father. Not so for the bad son. Every day of his absence was another day of darkness. In that sense, of course the father would celebrate when he looked at the horizon and saw his lost son finally returning.

“What right did the good son have for being angry?” Katy had asked them. “Maybe his father wanted him to celebrate the bad son’s return also. Think about that.”

The kids had done what she asked, because several of them mentioned it over the next few rehearsals. One day when they met for Bible study before practice, they’d looked at verses on love. By the end of the hour it was clear what was happening. God was working in their hearts. They might not be ready to forgive Jeremy Fisher just yet, but it was coming. She could feel it with absolute certainty. God was working a miracle in their group, and in time it was going to be clear to all of them.

Katy sat down at her computer, signed on, and waited for the search line to come up. She typed in Kabbalah and hit Enter. Thousands of possibilities came up, the first of which were official Web sites for the organization. She clicked the top one and waited.

A mystic blue page filled the screen, and at the top it read: The wisdom of Kabbalah teaches its students how to attain the upper world and the source of existence, By finding purpose, all men can 252

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achieve perfection and learn to enjoy the limitations of time space. ‘

Katy read it again and one more time after that. Still, she was confused. Dayne had talked about an upper world, but it something she’d heard before. And what was the idea that men could find perfection? Only Jesus was perfect, and people couldn’t find that righteousness without dying to self and living for Him. The Bible’s teaching on perfection smacked in the face,| of the teachings of Kabbalah.Bi

She scrolled farther. One summary of the teachings said thati:l Kabbalah was the ultimate source of fulfillment in this

Kabbalists live a life governed by one law, the general law of the universe, one teacher had written. This law has one single objec - tive—to make us equal to God.

A chill ran down her arms. She checked two more sites and found statements about how Kabbalah could teach a student to become his or her own god. She read about the six hundred and thirteen impure desires and the one hundred and twenty-five spiritual steps.

After thirty minutes of research, Katy was sick to her stomach. The teachings felt more like a cult than anything, and she tried that as another search.

Kabbalah and cult, she typed in.

Another long list of possibilities appeared, and she tried the first. It read: Media alert—Kabbalah is part of the pop culture, but it is also a destructive cult!

Her heartbeat quickened. No matter if she ever saw Dayne again, she had to get this information to him. She scanned the page, and the sick feeling in her stomach grew worse. Leading cult experts likened Kabbalah to cults that were sinister, deceptive, and destructive.

Leaders at the centers will make outrageous claims, one expert said. Then they try to take huge sums of money from new recruits, 253

convincing these people that only by giving can they make their way through the myriad of spiritual steps required to reach fulfillment.

It’s hogwash, another wrote. The centers use control tactics and other tricks typical of cults. If someone you know or love is caught up in Kabbalah, get them out. The expert went on to say that the answer was to have a high level of personal responsibility.

Katy wanted to throw something at the computer. Personal responsibility wasn’t the answer to spiritual lies. The truth would only be found in Scripture. That’s when the idea hit her. She would copy the information on Kabbalah, print it out, and buy Dayne a Bible. Then she’d put the two items together and get them to him before he left. Her personal feelings were nothing compared to the seriousness of what he was about to be involved with.

As she turned off her computer, she remembered the words that had blown across her soul when she prayed for Dayne the week before: Make the most of every opportunity. Maybe that’s the reason he’d been brought into her life. She felt silly for letting her feelings get involved, childish for kissing him. She was there for one obvious reason—to stop him from doing something he would regret forever.

Otherwise he might never know the truth.

John and Elaine walked the last aisle of the farmers’ market, enjoying the comfortable banter they’d found together. They had a standing date now to spend Saturday mornings together, and John had done everything he could to calm the fears of his kids. They all knew now, even his two youngest adult children, Luke and Erin. He’d told them all the same thing.

Elaine was his friend, and having a friend in this season of his life was important. If he’d thought Elaine was looking for anything other than 254

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friendship, he would’ve ended things with her immediately. But now that his life had a new purpose—to find his firstborn son-he needed a friend more than ever.

Especially since no one but Elaine knew about his plans.

He carried a bag of fresh-picked apples. She held a small sack with more blueberries, her favorite. They’d been about the letters, how John had sorted through them and cided that if Elizabeth wanted to find their oldest son, then would fulfill her wish or die trying.

Elaine pointed across the park. “Hey, what’s happening over there?”

John peered over a family setting up a picnic. The days were still warm, still sunny enough to spend outdoors. But the leaves were picking up color, and the sun set earlier every day. Fall was setting in and winter wasn’t far behind it.

When he saw the white panel vans and trucks and a film crew, he remembered.

“That’s where they’re filming that Dayne Matthews movie.”