Forget Me Not (41 page)

So Citronella clearly had serious problems with the not-quite-so-perfect Sienna. Maybe that’s what had been eating her up. But I envied Citronella her magnificent fortitude. She could have a nuclear device dropped on her and would still find a way to portray herself as having been somehow ‘fortunate’.
Fortunately
I was vaporised instantly … which fortunately meant that I
didn’t leave an unpleasant stain on the Axminster
…

From upstairs I heard sounds of Milly stirring. But instead of coming down to find me I heard her going up to the top floor, drawn to the sound of Luisa singing:

‘
So what happens now? Another suitcase in another hall.
So what happens now? Take your picture off another wall
…’

‘What you doing?’ I heard Milly demand as I went upstairs.

‘I packing,’ Luisa replied. ‘I leabe today.’

‘I don’t want you to go,’ I heard Milly say. ‘
Quiero que
usted permanezca
.’

‘I hab to go,’ Luisa replied. ‘But I come back and see you,
mi caramelo
.’ I heard the familiar sound of Milly’s cheek being kissed.

I knocked on Luisa’s door and pushed it ajar. On the floor was the new red suitcase she’d recently bought. Milly was sitting in it.

‘Luisa, I wish you’d told me you were going to be on
The
X-Factor
.’

‘I bery surprise too. I not know that they show my audition on TB.’

‘Thank you for the nice things you said about Milly and me.’

‘I mean it, Anna.’ She took two shirts out of the cupboard.

‘And I’m sorry that we’ve hardly spoken lately.’

‘You hab been bery busy, Anna.’

‘Yes … I’ve had a lot on my mind. But, do you actually have another au pair job, Luisa?’

‘No,’ she replied. ‘I not found a family I like. So I going stay in Shepherd’s Bush again with my friend.’

I looked at Milly, who was now busily taking Luisa’s things out of the suitcase and stuffing them back in the drawers. I thought of how much Milly loved Luisa, and of how much she loved Xan, who was leaving in a fortnight, and of how fond she was of Jamie, who would soon be going back to Australia. It was all too much change at one time.

‘Well, Luisa, I don’t have a new au pair – I haven’t even looked for one, to be honest, and so I just thought …’ I sank on to the bed. ‘Please don’t go, Luisa,’ I whispered. ‘We’ve loved having you here; I’m sorry we had that falling out …’

‘I no blame you, Anna,’ Luisa said. ‘I would do the same.’

‘You could stay here as long as you like. We could play it by ear.’

Luisa looked at me non-comprehendingly. ‘Ear?’

‘
Podríamos improvisar
,’ said Milly helpfully.

‘So you no want me to go?’ I shook my head. ‘Well …’

Suddenly Milly wrapped her arms round Luisa’s knees. ‘
Stay
wiz me.’

Luisa picked her up and kissed her. ‘
Sí
.’

* * *

So our lives settled back into some kind of routine. Luisa started at the New Horizons language school in Notting Hill, where her English quickly improved. Milly went back to Sweet Peas, and Jamie and I finished the vicarage garden.

‘I love it now,’ Pippa said as Jamie and I cleared up on our final day there. ‘It looked so funereal before, and now it’s … joyful.’

The garden was light and bright, the rebuilt flowerbeds filled with white and pink roses, French lavender and pale-blue cranesbill geraniums which gave it an almost Provençal air. There was a seated arbour with box benches, a dining area screened by four silvery olive trees, and in the middle of the new lawn a handsome green climbing frame with a swing and a slide.

‘What does your husband think of it?’ Jamie asked as he lifted Jack into the swing.

‘He loves it,’ Pippa replied. ‘In fact,’ she added with a smile, ‘he says he prefers it to how it was before.’

‘Well, that’s some compliment,’ Jamie said as he gave Louis a push. ‘I’m sorry I lost it with him,’ he added. ‘I was having a very bad day.’

Pippa smiled, but didn’t reply. ‘So what are you two doing next?’ she asked. ‘I imagine you’re very busy.’

‘We’re finishing a small garden in Maida Vale,’ I replied. ‘Then I’ll start work on a big country garden in Hampshire – it belongs to my old boss. Sadly Jamie won’t be working on that,’ I added.

‘Oh,’ Pippa said. ‘Why not?’

‘I’m going back to Australia,’ he explained.

‘For how long?’

‘A few months. Maybe longer. I’m not sure.’

‘You mean you might not come back?’

He shrugged. ‘I really don’t know.’

‘Well, that’s a shame,’ Pippa said. ‘You seem to be such a good team.’

‘We are,’ Jamie said. ‘But I need some time out. I’ve come to a bit of a crossroads in my life.’ He lifted Jack out.

‘So I’ll be working with Stefan,’ I said with false brightness.

‘Stefan’s great,’ said Jamie. ‘He’s a very good builder.’

‘He’s excellent,’ I agreed. But it wouldn’t be the same as working with Jamie …

On 8 September Xan left for New York. We’d told Milly a fortnight before, to give her time to get used to the idea that he wouldn’t be around so much. I’ve always hated airport farewells so Xan came to the house on his way to Heathrow. ‘I’ll be coming to see you,’ he said to Milly, his voice catching. ‘And maybe you and Mum will come and visit me.’

‘We’ll go to see Dad by aeroplane,’ I said. ‘Would you like that, Milly?’

She nodded.

Xan bent down to cuddle her goodbye. ‘I’ll see you soon, darling,’ he said. His eyes had filled. ‘I’ll see you soon.’

‘Soon, Dad,’ she echoed as she put her arms round his neck. Not that soon, I thought sadly. Then we stood in the window and waved to him until his taxi was out of sight.

The following day was Dad’s birthday and we’d booked to have lunch at the Belvedere as it was so close to his flat – all he’d have to do was stroll through Holland Park. Cassie came round to me in the morning to run through the short speech that the two of us were to make.

At 11.30 the doorbell rang. I wasn’t expecting anyone.

‘Elaine!’ I exclaimed. I threw my arms round her, as I always do when I see her because she was the first person to look after my baby, so I’ve always felt a little emotional about her.

‘I did phone a couple of times but you were out,’ she said as she stepped inside. ‘I’ve just been to see Jamie, so I thought I’d pop in to see you and Milly on my way to the tube.’

‘How is Jamie?’ I asked. ‘Is he ok?’

‘He’s … fine. But you all look as though you’re about to go out – is this a bad time for me to have come?’

‘Oh, no,’ I lied. ‘Although … actually, Elaine, we
will
have to go soon as it’s my dad’s seventieth and we’re having a lunch for him: but do stay for a few minutes – it’s just so nice to see you. Did you ever meet my sister Cassie?’

‘I don’t think I did.’ Elaine smiled. ‘But I recognise you from photos and I heard a lot about you.’ I made a jug of coffee while she and Cassie chatted then I finished dressing Milly. Elaine glanced at her watch. ‘It’s ten to twelve.’ She stood up, then stroked Milly’s head. ‘I’ll come another day when there’s a bit more time, Anna. Thanks for the coffee. Great to meet you Cassie.’

‘Why don’t you join us for lunch?’ Cassie suddenly said.

Elaine looked dumbfounded and I was a bit taken aback myself. ‘I couldn’t possibly do that,’ she protested.

‘Why not?’ Cassie asked with her customary directness.

‘Well,’ Elaine stuttered, ‘I wouldn’t want to intrude – and I’m not dressed for it.’

‘Of course you are. You look lovely,’ Cassie added. I was touched by her warmth.

‘But it’s a family celebration,’ Elaine said. ‘Plus I’ve never even met your dad.’

‘Oh, you don’t have to worry – he’s perfectly civilised,’ said Cassie. ‘Anyway, it’s going to be very low-key, besides which one of Dad’s friends had to cancel this morning, so there’s a spare place.’

‘Oh. But …’

‘So that’s settled then,’ Cassie concluded before Elaine could raise any further objections. I was slightly surprised by her insistence – she didn’t know Elaine, but Elaine, somewhat bemused, agreed. So we all walked through Holland Park in the slanting September sunshine clutching our flowers and gifts, occasionally stopping to show Milly the squirrels and black rabbits.

Our table was upstairs, by the french windows that opened on to the terrace. The Travises were already there and Bill French, whom Dad used to work with, and his wife Jane, and Dad’s sister Kay, and her husband Ted. Dad seemed genuinely touched as Cassie and I made a short speech about what a great father and grandfather he was.

‘And if Mum could have been here, she’d have said what a great husband you were too,’ Cassie added feelingly, because she now knows the whole story about Mark.

By this stage the wine was flowing, and with all the accumulated stress of recent weeks I’d had far more to drink than I usually do.

At some point Elaine began talking about Jamie. He was leaving for Australia the following week. ‘You’re going to miss him, Anna,’ she said.

‘Miss him?’ I lowered my glass. ‘I don’t know what I’m going to do without him.’

‘Jamie is Mum’s special friend,’ Milly explained as she did some colouring in. She dipped her pink felt tip in my tumbler of water.

‘You know, you’re right, Milly,’ I said. ‘He
is
.’ I felt a wave of sentiment wash over me. ‘Jamie’s the nicest, most honourable, kind, hard-working, talented and reliable man …’

‘I remember telling you that he’d never let you down,’ Elaine said.

‘And you were right. He didn’t let me down. Until now. I wish he wasn’t going,’ I added dismally. ‘I’m going to miss working with him, and talking to him twenty times a day, and arguing with him, and planting things with him, and building things and driving around with him in his battered old pick-up.’ I silently cursed Thea.

‘Well, Jamie needs to be at home for a spell,’ Elaine said. ‘He’s going through a lot. Plus it’s five years since he’s spent any time with his family.’

‘Do you think he’ll come back?’ Cassie asked.

‘I … don’t know.’ Then, by way of changing the subject, Elaine asked Cassie about her work.

‘Oh, I do all sorts of things,’ Cassie replied. ‘I’m afraid Anna disapproves of most of them.’

‘I disapprove of some of them,’ I corrected her. ‘But you’re certainly enterprising, Cassie, I’ll give you that.’ I lifted my glass of wine to her in sisterly salute.

‘Well, I have been quite enterprising recently,’ she said. ‘In fact…’ She reached into her bag and pulled out a copy of
The Bookseller
.

‘Why did you buy this?’ I asked as she handed it to me. ‘Are you going to work in publishing now? That would be a good move, Cassie. I’m all for it. It’s respectable.’

‘Turn to page 8,’ she said.

RANDOM HOUSE SIGNS NEW TALENT said the headline.

Random House have signed up newcomer Cassie Temple ina two-book deal worth a hefty £200,000. The formercroupier’s debut novel,
Killing Time,
will be published nextMay and is the first in a series of comedy thrillers featuringprivate investigator Delilah Swift, a one-time croupier andlingerie model, who is asked to investigate the suspiciousdeaths of three antique-clock dealers in London’s PortobelloRoad
…

‘Good on ya, Cassie!’ Elaine breathed. ‘This is fantastic!’

‘It is,’ I said. ‘I had no idea you were writing anything. When did you do it?’

‘Over the past three months,’ she replied. ‘I was working in the evenings – as you know – but my days were mostly free. And one day this character, Delilah Swift, just popped into my head, so I started to write about her. And when I’d done a few chapters I showed them to a girl at Stitch ’n’ Bitch who works for a literary agency, and she liked it and bingo! So now I’m a writer.’

‘You never cease to amaze me,’ I said.

Now Dad came to sit at our end of the table so that Cassie could tell him some more about the book. So I moved round and made small talk with the Travises, who are very nice if not terribly exciting; and Milly was playing with her Fifi Forget Me Not doll under the table; and now Cassie was talking to Uncle David and Auntie Glenda, and Elaine was talking to Dad. I overheard fragments of their conversation as they realised that the reason they hadn’t met before was because Dad had always visited me on a Sunday, which was Elaine’s day off. Then she was telling him about being a maternity nurse – how much she loves tiny babies … that she’s a light sleeper … that she’d got divorced a year before but feels life is full of promise … Then Milly fell asleep on my lap and the party began to break up, and Cassie and I thanked everyone for coming. I looked at Dad but he was still chatting to Elaine as though they’d known each other for years. As I glanced at them, noticing now the air of unforced intimacy between them, their heads inclined towards each other, I wondered if Cassie was thinking what I was thinking; then I realised that of course she was, because that was precisely why she’d invited Elaine. By now it was four o’clock and the restaurant was empty except for the very patient maître d’, and Dad and Elaine, who were still sitting there engrossed, as we left.

EPILOGUE

Five months later, Dad and Elaine are still sitting in the very same spot at the same table, in the same room upstairs in the Belvedere. Their heads are still inclined together and they are still laughing and chatting, but today they are wearing different clothes. Dad looks handsome in a grey suit and pale-blue tie – which is not snazzy at all – and Elaine is wearing a silk dress of the same pale-blue with her ash-blonde hair swept up in a french pleat and dressed with a white camellia. She looks radiant, as all brides do. She and Dad smile as the official photographer snaps away. Milly, in her pale-blue silk dress, is so excited that she has eaten nothing all day. It is the first time that she has been a bridesmaid and, as I look at Mark, who has come over for the wedding with his fiancé Marilyn, I find myself hoping that she may get the chance to be one again before long.