Forget Me Not (37 page)

‘Can I see it please?’ Patrick handed it to me and my eyes skimmed the page:
Keep away from my family … something
about you I don’t trust … I consider your relationship with
Anna inappropriate … I will not stand by while you
…

I looked at Xan. ‘What are you thinking of? This is outrageous!’ Milly suddenly appeared, so I lowered my voice. ‘And how did you know where Patrick lives? I’ve never told you!’

Xan shrugged. ‘You’d left your address book on the dining table.’

‘You looked in my address book? You had no right!’

‘I’ve had three text messages from him too,’ Patrick said, ‘abusive ones.’

‘You’re kidding,’ I breathed. ‘Saying
what?
Will you go outside, Milly darling, we won’t be a minute.’ She didn’t move.

‘Oh the same sort of thing,’ Patrick replied. ‘Telling me to keep away, and calling me a “smarmy bastard” and a “creep”. That sort of thing.’

‘Creep,’ Milly repeated. I saw Patrick flinch.

‘Please go into the garden,’ I pleaded with Milly. I looked at Xan. ‘I can’t believe you’d do this. I thought you were a sophisticated, intelligent person, not some jealous maniac!’

Xan didn’t reply.

To my surprise Patrick didn’t get angry: he was understandably cold, but remained self-possessed. ‘If I get any more mail from you Marshall, of any kind,’ he said quietly, ‘then you’ll be hearing from my solicitor.’

‘And you’ll be hearing from mine,’ Xan flung back. ‘I’ll get an injunction to keep you away.’

‘This is insane, Xan,’ I said. ‘You’ve… lost it!’

‘No, I haven’t,’ he protested. ‘That’s just it, Anna, I’ve
found
it. I’ve found my family – and we’re a little unit, or we could be if Patrick would do the decent thing and … bugger off; so I repeat my simple request that he keep away. And I won’t hear of him taking Milly on holiday. She’s
my
child and I don’t permit it!’

I felt my jaw slacken. ‘You have no right to make such a demand! Go into the garden please, darling,’ I repeated. ‘Patrick’s right!’ I hissed as Milly finally scooted down the hall, with a puzzled glance over her shoulder. ‘You abandoned me when I was pregnant, Xan; you hardly saw Milly for three years, but now you’ve discovered that you
like
family life you’re behaving like a demented lion defending its pride.’

‘I suppose I do feel like that,’ Xan murmured.

‘But you can’t come waltzing back here, playing the devoted family man, as though we’re together, Xan. We’re not!’

‘But we could be,’ he muttered. ‘And I’m sure we would be if you weren’t with this … this …’ He jerked his thumb at Patrick.

‘Patrick’s done nothing to you, Xan,’ I breathed. ‘He’s behaved tactfully – unlike you. He’s shown self-control – unlike you. And if you ever write to him again you’ll find I’ll be less accommodating about the amount of time you have with Milly.’ I picked up my bag. ‘Now Patrick and I are going out. You’re in charge until Luisa’s back at eight. Make sure Milly brushes her teeth.’ I went into the garden and kissed Milly goodbye.

I hardly slept that night, dozing off before dawn. I dreamt that Xan and Patrick were playing tug-of-war, with me and Milly as the length of rope. Then the sharp ring of the phone drilled into my subconscious. As I reached for the receiver I hoped it wasn’t either of them.

‘Anna?’ It was Jamie. ‘Are you up?’

‘Yes,’ I croaked. ‘I mean no …’ I glanced at my clock. It was 7.45. I could hear Milly chattering to her teddies in her cot across the landing. ‘I’ve overslept,’ I groaned. ‘What’s happened?’

‘My pick-up’s sprung an oil leak. I can’t drive it.’

‘Oh.’ I swung my legs out of bed. ‘But then it’s pretty old, isn’t it?’ I reached for my dressing gown. ‘Maybe you should get a new vehicle.’

‘Yeah, maybe. A Bentley Continental perhaps. But look, I need to get another rotovator, so could you take me over to the tool hire place – it opens at nine – and then to Eden Lane?’

‘Sure. My dad’s arriving at 8.00 to look after Milly so I’ll collect you at 8.15.’ As I put down the phone I wondered why Thea couldn’t have lent Jamie her car.

I rang his bell at a quarter to nine. ‘Sorry I’m late,’ I said. ‘I had a bad night.’

‘Me too,’ he replied quietly. There were shadows beneath his eyes and his skin was the colour of ash. ‘Come in for a mo – I’m not quite ready.’

As I stepped inside, I half expected to see Thea, or hear her moving about but the flat was very quiet.

‘Has Thea left for work?’ I asked as I followed Jamie down to the kitchen.

‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘Thea’s left.’ He locked the back door. ‘But not for work. For good.’

‘I’m sorry?’

Jamie sank on to a chair, his face bloodless now with stress and fatigue. ‘She’s gone,’ he whispered. ‘And I’m feeling a bit …’

‘Jamie,’ I murmured.

He covered his eyes with his left hand. ‘I feel such a mug,’ he croaked. I sat down at the table with him. ‘I knew that something was going on – even after she’d reassured me about this Percy guy; all my instincts told me that there
was
a problem, but I didn’t want to believe it.’

‘So you found something out?’ He nodded. ‘When?’

‘The day before yesterday.’

‘What … was it?’

Jamie heaved a profound sigh. ‘A parcel arrived for Thea. It was from this fancy hotel – Cliveden.’ He looked at me. ‘Do you know it?’

‘I’ve … heard of it.’

‘And the jiffy bag had come open down one side, and something was falling out of it. So I pulled it out. It was this flimsy silk dressing gown. At first I thought it was something that Thea had bought by mail order. But then I opened it and saw that there was a compliment slip from the hotel concierge, thanking Thea for her lost property enquiry and apologising for having taken so long to return her missing garment. The message added that they trusted Thea had enjoyed her stay at the hotel on May the thirteenth and that they hoped to welcome her back here soon.’

‘Oh.’

‘So when Thea returned that evening I asked her whether she’d ever been to Cliveden. She said “no”. So I handed her the dressing gown and the comp slip, and she went red, but wouldn’t give me an explanation.’

‘How did she avoid it?’

‘She just refused to discuss it – even though we both knew that she was meant to be on her way to Cape Town that day.’

‘You said you’d taken her to the airport.’

‘I did. But I now understand why she didn’t really want me to. She kept saying she didn’t want to bother me and that she’d go by taxi, but I said I’d take her, no worries. Anyway, I confronted her about the dressing gown, we had a terrible row, then she put some things in a bag and left.’

‘So that was two nights ago?’

‘Yes. Then last night, at about 8.30, there’s a banging on the door. I open it and Andrew Barraclough’s wife is standing there – I have
no
idea why. Then she storms in and starts shouting at me like a lunatic, telling me to control my wife.’

‘Andrew Barraclough?’

‘The guy who lives over the road. The guy who acted so weird at the Edwards’ party. The guy with the Bentley Continental.’

I stared at Jamie. ‘Thea was having an affair with
him
?’

Jamie’s head sank into his hands again. ‘All the time I’d been worrying that Thea would fall for someone she’d met on one of her foreign trips. Instead she started an affair with a bloke who lived fifty yards away.’ He looked up. ‘So I’ve been bowled a googly.’

I remembered Cassie once saying that to me. All I knew was that it was a cricketing term. ‘What’s a googly?’

‘A ball from an unexpected direction.’

‘Oh.’

So
that
was why Barraclough had seemed familiar – he was the guy whom I’d half glimpsed with Thea at Cliveden. And that’s why she’d seemed so strained at the Edwards’ party – not because of me, but because of
him
.

‘How long had it been going on?’ I asked.

‘Five months. It started in February. She’d got chatting to him in the butcher’s.’ He rolled his eyes. ‘It seems it started over the free-range chicken breasts. When Jane Barraclough calmed down she said she’d known about it for a few weeks but was hoping it would fizzle out.’

‘So that’s why she walked away when I introduced you and Thea at the Edwards’ house-warming.’

‘Yes.’ Jamie narrowed his eyes. ‘That would make sense. She wasn’t about to start making small talk with Thea.’

‘And that’s why Andrew pretended he didn’t know you.’

‘Yeah. But
of course
he did. He’d been screwing my wife! Anyway,’ he took a deep breath, ‘when Thea eventually came back last night she told me that she was sorry, but that she and Barraclough were in love and planned to be together. She packed a few more of her things and left to go and meet him somewhere.’

‘But I don’t understand,’ I said. ‘She’d agreed to cut down on her travelling so that she could spend more time with you.’

‘No,’ he said with a bitter little laugh. ‘It was so that she could spend more time with
him
.’

‘Well … I’m sorry,’ I said impotently.

Jamie looked at me. ‘But you’re not surprised.’

‘Well … no. I can’t say that I am. I did think Thea was having an affair, but’ – I wasn’t going to tell him what I’d seen at Cliveden – ‘I didn’t like to say it.’

Jamie nodded. ‘It’s usually the way.’

‘So the last couple of days must have been hell.’

‘Pretty much. That’s partly why I lost it with Gerald.’ He stared out of the window.

‘So what are you going to do now?’

‘I’m going to start proceedings.’

‘And after that?’

‘I don’t know. But I think I may go back to Oz.’

FIFTEEN

‘It’s New York,’ said Xan the following evening. Milly had gone to sleep early and he said he wanted to talk to me.

‘Are you happy about it?’ I asked as we stood in the kitchen.

‘Reasonably. I was hoping for one of the Washington jobs, but New York’s a pretty good posting.’

I began to empty the dishwasher. ‘So when do you leave?’

‘In three weeks.’

‘Poor Milly,’ I said quietly.

‘Then come with me, Anna. Please. Aren’t you tempted?’

I lifted out the cutlery basket. ‘I have commitments here, Xan, and a career. I’ve told you.’

‘You could have a great career in New York.’

‘Sure. Doing window boxes. Very challenging.’

‘And roof terraces – some of them are huge – and the hotels have gardens. You’d get lots of work, Anna, and I’d help you with contacts and media coverage. We’d live in a nice part of the city. We could go to the Hamptons in the summer – have you ever been there?’

I flung the knives in the drawer. ‘No.’

‘The Hamptons are fun.’ He reached for my hand and held it in both his. ‘Please come with me, Anna.’

‘I …’

‘Please,’ he repeated.

‘I can’t.’

‘You mean you won’t.’

‘Yes. I won’t.’ I lifted out the plates. ‘I’m sorry.’

He looked at me reproachfully. ‘Just because I told Paddy where to go?’

‘No – although you behaved, frankly, like a madman.’

Xan raised both hands in mock surrender. ‘OK – I accept that I shouldn’t have written to him, but I couldn’t stand him muscling in on my family.’

‘He
wasn’t
. He was just having a perfectly legitimate relationship with
me
. And as I’m single he’s allowed to get to know my daughter, which he had been doing, in a wholly appropriate manner, before your unexpected return.’

Xan rolled his eyes. ‘I don’t …
like
him, Anna. There’s something about him I … distrust.’

‘That’s pure prejudice. From the second you saw him you were trying to lock antlers with him like a stag in rut. And although I understand that you feel possessive about Milly, at the same time you have to curb your more primitive impulses as the fact is you chose not to live with us.’

‘I see. So now you’re punishing me for that.’

‘No. I’m simply trying to preserve the life I’ve made for Milly and me.’

‘But why won’t you give it a try? You could easily end it with Paddy. It’s not as though you’re really in love with him.’

‘His name’s
Patrick
. And I don’t want to end it, Xan. And even if I did, it wouldn’t follow that I’d come with you to the States – or anywhere else for that matter. Do you want to know why?’

‘Not really,’ he muttered.

I shut the cupboard door. ‘Well I’ll tell you anyway. It’s because you’ve always put your work first. You left me because you’d got the job in Indonesia; then you left Trisha because she was going to Japan and you thought that was no good for
your
career. I felt sorry for her.’

Xan shrugged. ‘She’s tough. She’s young. She’ll be fine.’

‘And now, having belatedly discovered the joys of fatherhood, you say that you want to be with me again.’

‘I do.’

‘But only if I move to New York. So, yet again, it’s about what’s best for
you
– what’s best for
your
life;
your
career; your future. It’s not about what’s best for Milly and me.’

‘But surely being together would be best for us all.’

I stared at him. ‘Not if it means traipsing around the world after you. Milly’s the most important thing in my life, and I don’t think that moving from country to country is going to be in her best interests and…’

‘OK, then,’ he interrupted. ‘I won’t go.’

I stared at him. ‘What?’

‘I won’t go to New York.’

‘I assume you’re joking.’

‘No. I’ll turn it down and stay here. I’ll take a job in the newsroom.’

‘You wouldn’t do that. Would you?’

‘Yes, I would. If it meant that we could live together as a family.’

I saw myself standing at the crossroads again, looking both ways. ‘But why would you do that, Xan?’

‘Why?’

‘Yes. Why would you want to wreck your career? You love what you do.’

‘But I love Milly far more. I’ve become attached to her in a way I never imagined, and so …’