Forged in Ice (13 page)

“I haven’t been here before.”

“No.” He shook his head. “This is the first time.” He grinned in a mischievous way that immediately made me nervous.

“Why am I here? I can’t remember. I know I came for some reason, but I don’t know what.” My head hurt. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember.

“You want help defeating the darkness.”

I nodded. “I do. I need help.”

“I can help you.” He ran a finger over my hand. “If you trust me.”

“I don’t know you.”

“You know my name. That should be enough.”

“I need to know more.” I needed to know something. His brown eyes were friendly, but looks could be deceiving.

“We can defeat our enemies.”

I felt hot and feverish. I could barely think straight. “How?”

"Break the men out of the ice."

"Who?" I glanced around again, searching for any clue that we weren’t alone.

"Blake's prisoners."

"What are you talking about?" I shivered at the mention of Blake’s name. I had never feared someone I didn’t know so much.

"Do you really not know?"

"I'm beginning to think I don't know anything."

"Like who you are sleeping with?"

"What do you mean? I know James." Kind of. Even though I knew there was so much more to know.

"He is not being completely honest with you. He is hiding an important truth."

"You aren't making any sense."

"I will make more sense if you let me show you what you need to see."

"Then show me." I was terrified, but I was even more afraid of remaining in the dark. I was always in the dark.

"This may be frightening." He leaned in toward me.

"What?"

"This.” He yanked on my arm and dragged me further into the woods. He walked faster and faster, pulling me with him as he broke into a run.

I struggled to keep up, but his pace was too fast, and I eventually fell.

He scooped me up. “We do not have much time.” He ran with me in his arms. I looked back over my shoulder. I already regretted leaving with him, but it was too late to turn back.

He ran until we reached the shore of a frozen lake. He set me down on the ice. “Look.”

I gazed down at the faces of dozens of men frozen in the ice with their eyes wide open. “What? Who are they?”

“Men waiting to be freed by you.”

“I can’t.” My whole body shook. I was cold and terrified.

“If you do nothing, your own world will be destroyed.”

“Why me?” I turned to ask Gregor, but he had disappeared.

I took a step back toward shore, but the ice cracked and I fell into the deep, cold water.

I
was awoken
from sleep by the sound of Ainsley screaming.

“Ainsley!” I grabbed hold of her. Her eyes were closed tightly and she was soaking wet. Not damp as if she had been sweating, but soaked like she had gone for a swim.

“What happened? Why are you all wet?” I pulled off her sopping wet clothing and dropped them to the floor before wrapping her up in a dry blanket. She was shivering uncontrollably.

She shook and started to cough. “Ainsley.” My heart rate accelerated as I tried to calm her down and warm her up. I was not sure how much of the shaking came from the cold, and how much came from her distress.

“James.” She opened her eyes, blinking a few times. The coughing slowed, and she grabbed hold of my arms.

“I am here.” I had a million questions, but first I needed to be sure she was alright.

“It was so real.” Her breathing was still heavy, but it slowed.

The door flew. “What’s going on?” Hunter yelled up to where we were in the loft. “Is everyone okay?”

“We are fine.” I kept my eyes on Ainsley.

“Then why did I hear screaming?” Hunter’s voice grew louder, and I glanced over my shoulder to make sure he did not come up the ladder. Ainsley was covered in a blanket, but that did not mean I wanted him so close to her when she was undressed.

“I had a bad dream,” Ainsley answered. Her voice was weak but I was sure the wolf could hear her. “I’m fine now. Sorry I woke you up.”

“I wasn’t sleeping.” He left the cabin, slamming the door behind him.

“What kind of dream was it?” I let my hands move down the blanket covering her body. Every inch of her was soaked. “And how did you get wet?”

“It was so real.”

“Tell me about it.” I knew with a sinking feeling it was no ordinary dream. She was drenched, and the look of panic that still marred her face said it all.

“I was by the woods somewhere and then I heard a voice.”

“What kind of voice?” My heart about stopped.

“Can you warm me up more?” Her teeth chattered.

“Of course.” I slipped inside the blanket beside her and wrapped my body with hers, hoping the body heat would help.

“Thank you.”

“You should never have had to ask. I apologize.” I always wanted to take care of her.

“Don’t.” She rested her head on my chest. Her hair was as wet as the rest of her.

“The voice?” I pressed because I needed to know if it was his. My father’s. Had he somehow managed to breach her dreams?

“It was harsh. Frightening. But then when I saw him, he was younger. Less intense.” She shivered, and I wrapped her up tighter in my arms.

“Saw him? Who did you see?” My father was not young. I felt some relief.

“A guy. Around your age. He had dark brown hair and eyes the same color.”

“What did he say to you?” I struggled to keep my voice even. I needed all the details, but I wanted to get them without causing her any more anxiety.

“He wanted me to come with him. I went with him into the woods.” Her eyes were wide as though she were reliving the experience.

“Do you remember anything about what the woods looked like?” This was definitely no ordinary dream.

“He called it the Woods of Elsie. And it was snowing. It was colder than it is here.”

“Woods of Elsie.” I stilled at the sound of the familiar name. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Is that a real place?”

I nodded, pressing my body more firmly against hers. “It is.” They were in the northern region of Energo. Even further North than Icentris.

“He told me he could help me.”

“Help you how?”

“I don’t know. It was all so confusing. He wanted me to break prisoners from the ice.” She placed her hands on my cheeks, and I looked into her eyes. “And then when I agreed, he showed them to me. It was so real. There were so many of them. They were so young.”

“So many of whom?” I struggled to fill in the details she was leaving out.

“Men. Young ones. Like my age and some a little older and younger, all frozen in the ice.” She shuddered, and I sensed she was seeing a mental image again.

I rubbed my arms up and down her body. The shivering had calmed. Thankfully it was not too cold out. Otherwise I would have feared for Ainsley’s health.

She moistened her lips. “I tried to ask more questions, but I fell in. That’s when I woke up.”

“All wet.” I thought over exactly what she was saying.

She ran a hand through her wet hair. “It is as though I were really there.”

“The man in your dream. Did he give you his name?”

“Gregor,” she whispered the name as though she were afraid of someone hearing.

“No last name?” I tried to link the name with any memory I had. This dream had significance, it was not merely her imagination.

“No.” She shook her head.

I thought over everything she had said. “What made you go with him? Did you recognize him?”

She opened her mouth and then closed it.

“Ainsley,” I urged gently. I needed to tread lightly. I could not push her too far, but I needed to find answers.

She said nothing.

“I need you to tell me everything. It is the only way we can figure out the dream’s significance.”

“You are hiding things from me too.” She lifted her head off my chest.

“What do you mean? I have told you everything I can.”

“But not everything.” She pushed herself out of my arms and the blanket.

“Ainsley.” I tried to cover her up with the blanket again. Her body was covered in goosebumps.

“I’m getting dressed.” She wrapped the blanket around her and started to climb down the rickety ladder to the lower level where she had left her bag.

I started to reach for her but stopped. Instead, I followed her down and watched as she got dressed. “If I told you everything, you would run.”

“I am going to run if you don’t tell me everything. That dream was so vivid, James, and the way I woke up. What if it was real?” Her eyes filled with tears. “Gregor told me it was your father’s doing, and he told me I don’t really know you. I need to know you.”

“You know me.” I took her hands in mine.

“I know only the few things you’ve told me. I know I have this ache inside of me that constantly demands I’m with you. I crave you like a drug, and everything else seems less important. I like the feeling. And that’s the problem. I shouldn’t. I shouldn’t like the feeling.”

“Ainsley…” I could feel the hurt surging through her, and I would have done anything to make it better.

“There is more going on though, isn’t there? There is more at play. This isn’t just about being your kindred.” She pulled her hands from mine and returned to dressing. She hastily pulled on a long sleeve shirt.

I nodded, accepting I could not hide the truth from her any longer.

“Tell me. Tell me the truth.”

“Only if you promise not to run.” I handed her a warm sweater. She was still shaky.

“I can’t promise that.” She pulled the sweater over her head.

Now that she was dressed, I took her hands again. She did not pull away, but she was not holding on. I held on for both of us. I was never letting her go. “But running from me will hurt you. It could kill you.”

She shivered, sending a sharp pain through me as I realized she was afraid of me. I would never willingly hurt her, but I had done it without meaning to. Even before we had met somehow the process had been in place. “I promise I will take care of everything. I will take care of you.”

“I don’t need to be taken care of. I need the truth. I deserve the truth.” She was right. She deserved everything.

“And you will have it.” I exhaled loudly, preparing myself for the hardest thing I have ever said. “But you have to stay. I am not exaggerating the consequences.”

“On one condition.” She looked deep into my eyes.

“Anything.” I would have given her anything she wanted. She was still standing there even if her eyes were full of fear. I would get rid of that fear eventually, but I was about to make it worse first.

“You tell me everything. No more secrets,” she pleaded with me.

“Will you do the same for me?” I hated to ask anything of her, but I needed to. I needed to know everything so I had a chance of saving her.

“Yes.” She nodded.

I put my hands on her waist, pulling her close to me. I needed her close as I revealed the secret I had been struggling with for days. I opened my mouth twice without the words coming out, but on the third try they did. “You were poisoned.”

“Poisoned?” She stiffened in my arms.

“By my father.” By the man I hated more than anything. I had truly believed I was done with him, but of course I was not. I would never fully escape his influence.

“Your father is dead.” There was no question in her voice. She believed me. She trusted me fully even when no one else did. And here I was breaking her trust.

“He used me to do it.”

“How is that possible?” She shook her head. “It’s impossible.”

“It is not impossible, but I wish it was.” I would have given anything to change it, but none of it was in my power. It had never been in my power.

“How?” Her voice came out hoarse. “What are you talking about?”

I tightened my grip on her, knowing this was it. She was going to try to run. “When we were together the first time. It was some sort of... When I...” I struggled to come up with the right words. Everything sounded wrong.

“Just tell me, James.” Her eyes bore into mine.

“You need to continually be with me now.” I hoped she caught the direction of my thoughts.

“I’m not quite following.”

“The first time I made love to you.” I chose my words carefully, making sure she understood just how much she meant to me. “That was poison. And the only thing keeping you alive now is having more of me.”

Her face paled and she shook her head. “That’s ridiculous. You’re trying to tell me when we had sex the first time you poisoned me?”

“You crave me. You told me yourself. You crave me like a drug. Your body knows you need me.” Telling her was both painful and exhilarating. I never wanted to hold anything back from her again.

She shook her head. “Where are you getting this crazy idea from?”

“My father.”

“But he’s dead.”

“He is in my head. His voice. Not all the time, but twice now. He is there, and he is trying to use me to achieve his goals.” I should have known his death was not the end. I had to do more to free myself from his influence.

“But you would never…” her words trailed off.

“Of course not. But I have to get rid of him. Getting rid of him will end this. It will release you from this.”

“How do you know?” She raked her teeth over her bottom lip. “What if it does the opposite? What if it kills me?”

“Why would you think that? Why would you suggest it?”

“Because nothing is easy. Nothing.” Her body slumped.

I raised her chin with one of my hands. “I refuse to let anything happen to you.”

“Is that why you’re with me?” She blinked rapidly as if holding back tears. “Is that why you want me?”

“No. I want you because the beating of your heart is now the beating of mine. Because the touch of your hand sets me on fire, and your lips bring me a happiness I never imagined possible. My body, mind, and spirit all sing for you, and I am a far better man for having had the opportunity to be with you. I will continue to be with you. Despite all this you are my kindred.”

“Do you know that for sure?” There was such hope in her expression, and for once I could give her what she needed.

“Yes.” I did. I knew it. “The only reason he targeted you was because you were made for me. This could only work because of our connection. He tapped into our connection.”

“I’m not running.” She squeezed my hands.

“You did not run, but I know you want to.” I could see the fear behind her eyes.

“I don’t want to. I’m scared. I’m terrified, but not of you.”

“You are not afraid of me?” My heartbeat picked up.

“You told me the truth.”

“That means so much?”

“It does. It also means you are not under his control. If you were, you would have made up lies.”

“We cannot tell anyone else.” I was tired of secrets, but there was no other choice.

“I know.” She rested her head on me again. “But they will figure it out.”

“No.” I shook my head. “We will make sure they do not.”

“We have to get to the ice. If those men are there… we can’t leave them. And the dream had to have meant something. They could be the key. Gregor said they will help defeat our enemies. We can fight back against the darkness.”

“You still did not tell me. What made you follow him into the woods?”

“He said he knew who my father is, how to find him.” She looked down. “He knew that was what I have always wanted.”

“How would he know your father?”

“I don’t know.” She picked up her head and gazed into my eyes. “But he’s connected to Energo. He has to be.”

I nodded. I had reached the same conclusion before. He was the only missing link. “Could you find the ice? If we went to the woods, could you find the spot?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “I remember the dream like it’s still playing in my mind. I remember the steps I took.”

“Especially the last one.” I ran my hand down her body, remembering how wet she was. Her hair was still damp where it hung down her back.

“The wolves can help find Grace. I don’t want to return to Energo without finding her, but I’m afraid we’re going to run out of time.”

“I am sorry I held so much back from you.”

“I understand. I would have run before.” She met my gaze. “I understand your decision, but I need to know the truth from now on.”

“Would have?” I felt a weight move from my chest. “You really do not plan to leave?”

“Not now. Not after all that Gregor showed me.”

“You are still holding something back. What are you keeping from me?”

She moistened her lips again. “This does not just affect Energo. Gregor says it affects this world too. It won’t only be Grace. It will be everyone and everything.”

“They are building a new gate. Trying to come into this world.” I thought over everything Talen had said. What those implications were for the only life Ainsley knew before meeting me.