FOREWORD (19 page)

Then she screams and tells me how good I am. I then wet my Men In Love

141

finger and stick it up her sweet asshole gently. She can’t take it, and she takes off, screaming and sobbing and demanding

“Fuck me, fuck me, oh fuck me!” Meanwhile, she gives me the finger in return up the ass. We both see stars together.

How casually men include anal play in their erotic reveries. Their dream woman intuitively know to pay close attention to their anus.

Women today wear men’s clothes; men may swap some of their aggression for women’s more “feeling” qualities. Down deep where it counts, though, certain gender lines still rigidly hold. The most bizarre fantasies of oral and group sex, homosexual and animal sex, even varieties of S&M, may come to a woman easily and (if I may use a loaded word) naturally, but in neither of my books on women’s fantasies was it necessary to include a chapter on anal sex.

My own disinterest, even aversion to it, speaks of my particular lifelong unevaluated fears and prejudices. As children, boys and girls alike are fascinated with all orifices of the body, but in our pattern of culture, an early taboo is imposed on girls against taking anything into the body. “Stanley Jones!” says the horrified little girl, “you’re not going to put that in .your mouth?” A further branching off from male development takes place as the girl slowly introjects what is called “the cloacal concept.” The urethra, vagina, and anus –

all three come to be sensed as one undifferentiated hole she has “down there.” It is her secret, smelly shame, as the perfume industry is all too aware.

When Stanley Jones is a few years older and takes Betty Anne to the drive-in movie, he tries to touch her vagina.

While it is not an automatic move on his part – as easy as it was for him to kiss her – it isn’t altogether depraved in his eyes either. After all, he has been touching himself all his life

– casually when he pees, with a thrill when he masturbates.

To him, her vagina is the most magical thing on earth, the Nancy Friday

142

mysterious, glamorous opposite to his own familiar penis.
He
thinks of it in far nicer terms than she does!

In her mind, he might as well have tried to put his finger up her ass. How can he want to try (touch) something so vile?

“You’re a beast, Stanley Jones!” she cries.

His conflict is reinforced. Maybe, after all, there is something wrong even with touching himself. There must be some bestial side to him, foreign to lovely girls. The unsolvable paradox women present is this: They are so wonderful to be near, they do everything to encourage you to come closer, but when you do, they make you feel dirty. What men love is what women hate.

Years later still, when Stanley is in bed with his wife, he tells her he loves her. “Yes,” she says, “but will you love me forever?” Why can’t women believe in his love? He reaches for her, kisses her mouth, her breast; when his hands move tentatively for the seductive crack between her cheeks, she freezes. “See, I knew you didn’t love me.” He is a beast, to try something so disgusting on his own wife.

Can women – can anyone – be totally surprised if men sometimes want to live up to what appears to be everyone’s idea of them?

Again and again I hear from a man dreaming of finding someone who would love his asshole right along with his penis.
Love me, love my ass,
men seem to be saying in these fantasies – and in all fairness, they are avid to return the compliment. “I love the surprise and heat,” one man says, “when a woman suddenly realizes what you want to do is put your tongue right up her rosy asshole as far as it will go.” In the mind of a man who loves oral sex, anus, penis, breast, vagina

– they’re all lovely to lick, tongue, eat, slurp, enjoy, revel in.

Why should anything be left off the menu?

In recent years, Plato’s Retreat opened in New York City.

The place is a sociological phenomenon, open to the public.

No liquor is sold, so it comes under the legal definition of a Men In Love

143

club, and what members do is unregulated by the usual alcohol licensing laws.

In effect, it is a place for swingers, for orgies, for consenting adults in any number (though men cannot come alone) to play out their mutual sexual fantasies. Sexual freedom is total but non-compulsive: You can watch or you can participate.

You can take your clothes off or not as you like.
The Village
Voice
sent a reporter, who found the club’s principal furniture was made up of beds, thick rugs, and couches. Having entered of your own free and desirous will, anything goes.

Amid scenes in which all permutations and combinations of sex were being explored between people who may have met only thirty seconds ago, the Voice reporter told me he had questioned a habitué who said she liked to come to the club several nights a week. “If a girl wants to be popular,” she said to him, “she’ll let it be known that she likes anal sex. That’s what all the guys are looking for.”

Given two equally endowed women, what makes one preferable to another in a man’s eyes except that something she says, something she does,
some idea the man has formed of
her,
exerts an attraction perhaps invisible to the eye? Why, in fact, do so many men with eager and loving wives at home plead they have to work late at the office and go to a prostitute instead – often one who is not half as beautiful as the neglected woman waiting beside the telephone? Why will a man who barely looks up from his newspaper when his wife undresses for a bath feel a secret glow if his neighbor’s wife happens to cross her legs carelessly? In the state of nature, physiology is dominant: The aroused stallion will not pass up the first female in heat for the most beautiful mare in the world if she is ten feet further away. The answer is that for human beings, the most powerful sexual organ does not lie between the legs. It is between the ears. Human erotic psychology finds forbidden sex is sexier sex. That’s why we call it “dirty.” The name speaks of shame – but that is its charge, too.

Nancy Friday

144

In real life, men often shy away from the sexually voracious woman. In fantasy, she is one of the great turn-ons. One frequent fantasy symbol for this erotic fervor is the woman so eager for sex she’ll masturbate with a dildo, or call her dog to bed. Jackie (above) speaks of his sexual passion for a woman who falls into poses both “beautiful and nasty.” For many men, the ultimate degree of sexual abandon is signaled by the woman who revels in anal intercourse. It is the most forbidden, “dirtiest” sex of all.

Howard Smith, personal communication

VITO

I am fifty-one years old, married and have two children, now away from home. I am a businessman in a small town. A sporadic sex life with my wife led me to have an affair with a younger woman, a divorcee. We would meet a few times per year. The hassle of avoiding prying gossips in a small town made us break off and she is now married to another.

I have fantasized all my life, on a variety of sexual themes.

My current favorite puzzles me since it is full of paradoxes.

First, I am a rather strong-willed person while my former mistress was not, yet in the fantasy we play the opposite roles. Second, I do not like pain in any form, but in the fantasy it is the pain and sexual domination of my partner that gets me off. I use this fantasy quite often during masturbation.

The fantasy begins as my mistress and I are together in a motel room. She is angry with me and will not let me kiss her. She makes me take off my clothes. After I am nude, she ties my hands behind my back. She then lifts her skirt and removes her panties and makes me step into them. As she pulls them up to my crotch she tells me not to get a hard-on or I’ll get a spanking. All the while she is fondling my penis and balls. Naturally I get an erection. She slaps my hard penis and says, “You disobeyed me ... now you are going to get Men In Love

145

your fanny warmed.” She sits on the edge of the bed and forces me across her legs. She pulls down the panties and caresses my buttocks, running her finger down the crack.

Then she begins to spank me with her open hand. The spanking lasts a long time and my buttocks get hotter and hotter, the pain gets stronger until I plead with her to stop ... promising to do anything she wants.

After another swat or two she pushes me off her legs to the floor and commands, “Now eat me. Lick my pussy till I come.” She spreads her legs exposing her warm moist cunt.

She has been turned on by the spanking. I crawl between her legs and begin to kiss and lick her pussy. She starts to moan and grind her pussy hard against my lips. She locks her thighs around my head so I can’t pull away. As she writhes against me she beats on my head and shoulders with her fists. At last she has her orgasm and slumps back on the bed. I fall to the floor, my tongue and jaws aching.

In a few moments she has recovered and says, “Now I’m going to rape you, but first you need to be cleaned out.” She grabs me by the penis and drags me to the bathroom. She forces me to bend over the edge of the tub, parts my buttocks cheeks and stuffs a large-nozzled douche syringe into my anus. It has not been lubricated and I cry out in pain. The water is hot as it courses into my rectum and I whimper and moan. She then rams the douche in and out of my rectum. As I cry out, she crams the panties I had been wearing into my mouth as a gag.

In spite of the pain, I am more aroused than ever. My penis is hard and throbbing. Finally my mistress withdraws the syringe from my rectum and allows me to evacuate. While I am sitting on the toilet, she sees my penis standing straight and tall. “I told you not to get a hard-on,” she rages, “and now you get another spanking.” This time she throws me face down on the bed and proceeds to whip me with the belt from her skirt. I am still gagged so all I. can do is moan in pain. At last her arms tire and she tosses the belt aside. She rolls me over on my back and proceeds to mount me. “Now I’m going Nancy Friday

146

to fuck you,” she says, and she slides her cunt up and down on my penis. She is careful not to let me climax. My balls begin to hurt, but still she will not allow me to come. As she works up and down, she reaches behind my body and down between my legs. She grabs my balls and just as I am about to explode, she gives them a hard squeeze. The pain causes me to lurch and squirm. A few fast thrusts of her ass and she hits her climax. Then she rolls off me and collapses on the bed.

When at last she has recovered, she rises from the bed and gets a large double dildo from her suitcase. She inserts one end into her pussy and fastens the straps around her waist and thighs. She laughs and says, “If you thought the enema was bad just wait till I rape your ass with this.” She ignores my silent pleas and forces me over on my face. “Pull your knees up,” she orders, giving me hard slaps on the buttocks. I bring my knees up under my body. My hands are tied behind me and my face is buried in a pillow.

My ass is raised in the air making a most inviting target for her big rod.

My mistress takes her finger, moistened by rubbing her wet cunt, and slips it into my asshole. Then she mounts me from the rear. I can feel the head of the massive dildo pressing against my anus. It is beginning to force its way in. The pain begins and I writhe in agony. I feel that I am being torn apart. Tears come to my eyes. At last the dildo is in my rectum to the hilt and I groan as she makes the final thrust. Before I can recover she begins to push it in and pull it out, fucking my ass with hard thrusts. There is pain. I can feel the dildo filling me completely.

As the movements continue, the other end of the dildo begins to do its job inside her cunt. The pace quickens and I know she is nearing another climax. She is breathing hard and thrusting faster and faster. Her reaction begins to trigger a response deep down inside of me. I feel myself building to a climax too. Finally the pace is too much and with a squeal of delight she has her orgasm. And that final quivering thrust Men In Love

147

as she goes over the top sends me up to a blinding orgasm too. My throbbing penis squirts its juice and I collapse in a trembling heap.

Usually by this time, I have masturbated to a climax, so the fantasy ends.

De Sade took sexual fantasies perhaps to their most formal development, erecting immense edifices of philosophy and literature on the base of his erotic musings. And yet in his writings, the vagina is rarely the focus of obsession. It is the anus that is the target of his most ardent desires.

For reasons to be discussed in a later chapter on sadomasochism, de Sade did not see sex as sensuous pleasure, but as a battlefield for erotic mastery. In Vito’s fantasy (above), we see this conjunction of sex, pain, and power in classical, almost de Sadian form.

At the risk of fatuity, I’d say that even though Vito reverses the usual de Sadian roles – it is he who suffers, not his cruel mistress – it would be a very rare woman who would have invented this fantasy for her own pleasure. Women are capable of cruelty, of course – but almost never the specific kind in which Vito (and de Sade) reveled. When introduced to anal notions, women may come to enjoy them; they can grow as eager as any man, but it seems to take a process of initiation. It is something to be learned, like a grown-up taste for martinis or oysters.

If women flinch when their anus is touched, the inhibition is not so much that the experience might be painful (though that is a factor), but that it might be dirty, smelly – everything opposite to what a woman is supposed to be.

Men show little such hesitancy; they would include the asshole in sexual play almost from the start. Only because most women instinctively draw away do they desist.

At the moment, I’m not talking about homosexual men, to whom anus and mouth must be prime vehicles for receiving the penis. Nor am I thinking of the adventurous male who Nancy Friday

148

thinks of anal intercourse as just another interesting position, a tighter and snugger fit perhaps than the vagina, and this more conducive to stimulating friction. The issue I’m discussing right now is this: What attraction does anality have for men that it does not hold for women?