Forever Our Ever (17 page)

He snorted with laughter. “Yes, I imagine that will do it. That must stop. No more sex until you have flesh again.” He held his hand out flat in front of him. “You need to keep your emotions on an even keel, Ever. I don’t want you getting exited or angry or emotional at all. The longer you can hold that state, the better chance you have of reconnecting as the moon wanes.”

Ever looked at Kris and started to cry. “Okay,” she sniffled. “Before we start, can you tell Kris that I’m sorry. I feel so bad for yelling at him. Especially after I gave him a headache. Tell him that I understand, but I was looking at things from a mother’s perspective.”

Demetri relayed the message and Kris turned in her direction. “Oh, Ever. You don’t need to apologize to me. I knew why you were mad. I was mad at myself. I just know that without you, I will die emotionally. I can’t even imagine a life that you are not longer a part of. I love our babies so much, but I need you here to help me raise them. Without you, my life would be pointless.” He looked around the room. “I did all of this for you. I had the house built, I gave up my business, I agreed to become alpha, all to make life better for you. When this first happened, I laid beside you for days. I didn’t eat, or get up and shower. I just laid there, stroking your hair, holding your hand, talking to you. Every second of every day, I felt a little more lost without you. I knew I would give up everything just to see you smile again.”

His words made her tears fall like rain. She heard Liam sniffle, and turned to him. She stroked his hand and he turned to her. “That goes for me, too. I wasn’t here, but it didn’t stop me from grieving.”

She turned back to Demetri. It was hard to talk, her throat tightening up with emotion. “Tell them that I love them with all my heart. I want this to be over, Demetri. I want my life back. Before the babies were born, I was so miserable. I resented the changes in my life and was terrified of what would happen. This is worse than I ever imagined. Please tell me you can help.”

“Ever says that she loves you immensely. I can help, and I will. But you have to calm down.”

“I’m trying.”

He chuckled. “You don’t look like it.”

The comment made her smile. Demetri looked past her to Liam. “You must be Liam.”

“That’s me.”

“How much did you hear?”

“Pretty much everything. So where do we start?” asked Liam.

“I would love some dinner. What are you feeding Ever’s body?”

Kris grunted. “You will have to discuss that with our brother when he shows up to feed her. He has made it his personal mission to shove food into the tube and then leave.”

“I presume that you are discussing Mick?”

“That’s him. He is being a pain in the ass.”

Ever saw a shift in Demetri’s expression, but didn’t know what it meant.

“I’m going to go out and grab a bite to eat. Will Daisy cook me something if I ask?”

“There are actually two or maybe three women here, and all of them can cook.” Kris turned to Ever. “Nara left a few days ago. She said the house felt creepy. Pippin might still be around, but she mentioned that her grandfather had taken a turn for the worst and she might be going to him soon.”

“I will go see who I can find.” Demetri got up and walked from the room, and Kris got up to check on the babies. Ever had a good feeling about Demetri. She liked him. There was something very honest and non-creepy about the man. Kris carried Avia and Lash over to her body and put them on her breasts. Avia immediately began to suckle, but Lash stunned her by rolling over and sitting up on her ribs. He held his tiny finger out in front of his body and growled. Ever giggled. “Are you growling at me, young man? That isn’t nice.”

Lash started to giggle, his tiny chest jiggling with the emotion. He had teeth. They were tiny and just starting to break through his gums, but they were teeth nonetheless. She looked at Kris, but he seemed nonplussed by the event. Liam chuckled. “Lash is learning how to use his wolf voice. Soon he will be trying to speak in human.”

“It’s very possible,” replied Kris.

He sounded so depressed, where Ever thought he should be happier. They had the help they needed. She poked his cheek. “Why sad?”

He gave her a half smile. “Seeing Lash interact with you confirms how fucked up I am. I would have given Seren to her.”

She was supposed to be staying calm, and now she felt guilty for yelling at him again. Ever touched his cheek. “I understand.”

“I want so badly to grasp your hand and hold it. Every time you touch me, I have an urge to weave my fingers through yours. What a simple little thing to wish for.”

“Soon.”

“I actually have hope of that, now. I don’t want to like Demetri, he is too damn good looking. You must be secretly drooling. I do like him, though. More importantly, I trust him.”

Ever had to laugh at his comment. Drooling was a good word for it. The man was striking. “I trust him, too.”

“Ever says that she also trusts him,” said Kris.

“Me three,” said Liam. “There is something very honest and forthright about him. I also have visions of her drooling over the man. He is very…intense.”

Liam reached over and grabbed Lash, tickling the child’s feet and laughing as he squirmed. “You should not be growling at your mother. Growling is for when you are angry or want to look fierce.” Liam put a fierce expression on his face and growled at his son. The sound was far more convincing when he was in wolf form, but it still startled Lash.

Liam lifted him into his arms and cuddled him as Lash whimpered. Ever could tell that he felt bad, but he was still trying not to laugh.

“Nice, Liam. Scare our son half to death.”

Demetri walked back in with a plate of sandwiches. “Daisy thought you might be hungry. She wants to know if we want help. She says that she knows how to do massage.”

“We would love help, Daisy,” Kris said to the doorway.

Daisy peeked her head around the corner. “I didn’t mean to be eavesdropping, but this is all so interesting. Is Ever really here? I mean, her spirit?”

“Yes, she is really here.”

Ever got up and walked over, running her finger down Daisy’s arm. The woman gave a dramatic shiver and Ever smiled. She poked Daisy’s cheek. “I’m here.”

Daisy backed up a step, her eyes wide. “Oh my, she just spoke to me. I heard Ever’s voice.”

“She can speak if she touches your face or head. She keeps the touch brief and the words specific, because a long touch knocks us out. It also gives us a headache.”

“How wonderful. I want to help. What can I do?”

Demetri immediately spoke up. “We need to wake up her body and bring her heart rate up. If you could give her a head-to-toe massage to get her blood moving it would be great. Kris or Liam, you can help if you want, although your little ones are awake and…” He looked into the small bed. “I think they are looking to be played with.”

Liam stood, putting Lash to his hip so he could lift Avia off Ever’s chest. “Sorry, my sweets, but breakfast has been put on hold while Mommy’s body gets a rubdown.” He set the children in the cradle. “They are getting too big for this. They need something larger to sleep in.”

“Snow is already on that,” said Daisy. “The crib she ordered was delivered a little while ago. I believe she is in the laundry room putting it together.”

“Cool,” replied Liam. He turned to Kris. “I think we should try them with a bit of that mash that Mick made up for Ever. They are getting teeth now.”

“I think that’s an excellent idea. What do you think, Daisy? You have more experience than we do.”

Daisy walked over and leaned into the cradle. Ever had no idea what she did, but she nodded silently and then turned to Liam. “I agree. They have the white shades of teeth. They should be eating something a little more substantial. I would try it. They might not like it, but it can’t hurt. Take my word for it, those little nippers will make Ever’s nipples raw before the end of the week.

Ever wanted to crawl under a rock and die. Everyone had obviously forgotten that she could hear them. She made a dramatically appalled face, grabbing her breasts for good measure and grunting. Then she remembered that Demetri could also see her. She turned to him and grimaced as he laughed. “Stop making faces of sarcasm and please come here, Ever.”

She got up and walked over to him. He gestured to the floor at his feet and then sat down with his back to the wall. Ever sat across from him. Crossing his knees, he gestured for her to do the same and she did, sitting Indian-style opposite him. Demetri moved forward a bit until their kneecaps were touching. He held his hands up before his body. “Match my hands and my movement. I want you to listen to my voice and let that be the only sound in the room.”

Ever didn’t think she could possibly do that with so much going on around her, but she held her hands up to his. The sensation of Demetri’s skin was odd, sizzles of sensation seeming to flow into her palms and the touching places on their legs. It was uncomfortably sexual, which was not supposed to be the idea, but she hesitated to say it because…because why? He was the only one who could hear her. “It feels weird to touch you.”

“Same here.”

Did the man actually have the capability to be discreet? It was a purely physical reaction, but not one that she really wanted to relay to Kris and Liam. “I don’t exactly think it’s calming.”

“It’s not at the moment, but you will get used to it. That is why I wanted to start this now. I needed to see how your magic reacts to mine.” He was keeping his voice low, but in a room full of werewolves she was sure that no matter how soft his tone, they would hear.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m a moon witch, just as you are. I draw my power from the moon. Did you not know what you are?”

She shook her head adamantly. “No. I had no idea. What makes you think that I’m a witch?”

“I can feel it. Your children can feel it. That is why they shifted and paid tribute to you by howling. They have a supreme sense of reverence for you.”

How did he know that? Ever had a suspicion. “Did Mick tell you that?”

Demetri began to move her arms in a wide half circle. He moved them up above her head, out to the sides and then back to center. “I think you already know the answer to that. I was asked not to mention it.”

So Mick did believe that she was displaced. This simple fact had so many undertones to it. Mick was helping them. Mick was trying to save the babies. “Did you know about Tella’s request?”

“Yes.”

“Son of a bitch. We have been thinking that Mick took off and deserted me. Why is he doing that? Why isn’t he here where he belongs?”

“Is
belongs
the proper word?”

Demetri continued to move her arms in a wide circle, but nothing he was saying was calming her. Ever considered it. The word
displaced
stuck in her mind like a burr on a cotton shirt. Mick had been displaced just as surely as she was. He had lost his position in life. He was being asked to give up his practice and move onto clan property. He was expected to help raise four children, knowing that if he stayed with them he would never have one of his own. Kris and Liam had built the house, furnished the house and hired the four women to help, all without Mick’s input. Kris had then saved Ever’s life when Mick had failed to do so. She could clearly see where Mick no longer belonged. For him to go to his father, to be with a part of his family where he felt needed, was completely logical. “I guess not, huh?”

“No. Now please reason that through your mind and let it go. That is an issue for later when you are back in your flesh.” He circled her hands again, sitting up straighter. Ever did the same. “I want you to close your eyes. Have you ever turned?”

“Yes.”

“Into a were, or a wolf?”

“Both.”

“Okay. I don’t want you to do it. I just want you to think it. Tell me how it happens and how it feels.”

Ever inhaled deeply, considering the action. “It starts with thought. I know what I want to happen. I know that I want to cover my body with fur with the intent of becoming a wolf. It feels amazing to become a wild thing and know that your body is capable of feats that are not possible as a human. Images flash through my mind as I feel my skin tingle. I can feel the fur sprouting from my pores, like looking at one of those time-lapse videos of grass growing. It gets longer and thicker. My flesh shivers and feels as if millions of spiders are crawling on my skin. At the same time, I can feel my muscles shifting, condensing, and I know that I’m getting lower to the ground. My entire cell structure is changing, muscle and bone flowing like water into a new form. I am becoming wolf. My face stretches, my nose melding into cheekbones that have flattened and elongated. My ears have been drawn apart, rising to the top of my head to become pointed and high. I can move them forward and to the side, unlike human ears that do not move. I can see, and hear, and smell everything with a clarity that spans far past human perception.”

“Ever! Do you love your family? Your children? Your men?”

Her mind was drifting in a lucid freedom of being a creature of the wilds. Everything was brighter, more distinct. Things she took for granted as a human captured her attention as a wolf. The subtle scents of things around her were distributed and inhaled with new definition. The sun shining on the bed held a subtle distinction in the way it brightened the fibers of the quilt. Everything was so beautiful. Her men were amazing, their hair so thick with undertones of color that she did not perceive as a human. They smelled so delicious, musky and male.

Her nose twitched and she lowered her head.

“Ever! Change back!”

She didn’t want to. She sniffed the scent of their sex that permeated the sheets Oh what a wonderful scent. It told her of pleasure…

“Damn it. Ever, you have to listen to me. You are going to kill Daisy. Change back!”

Daisy? What was he talking about? Ever imagined her body growing, thinning, reversing the sensations of becoming a wolf as she shifted her mind back toward human.

“Thank you.”

Demetri released her hands and the sounds of the room suddenly exploded around her. The babies were screaming, Daisy was sobbing. She turned and Kris was standing over her body in wolf form, his huge black-and-silver body rippling with tension. He glared in her direction and then hopped down, turning back into a human as he strode naked across the room. “What the fuck did you do?”