Forever and Always (16 page)

“Melanie, are you feeling ok sweetheart?” he asked as concerned rose in him quickly. She looked up at him as if to reply but before she said anything she suddenly slumped to one side and then hit the floor. Alex was up off his seat and by her side in seconds.

“Jesus, Melanie” he cried as he pulled her head onto his lap. She was unconscious. “Grace, call an ambulance”.

Sarah kneeled down next to her daughter and as she did she noticed a pool of blood growing larger and larger underneath her.

“Oh Christ Alex she is haemorrhaging” Sarah said, her voice full of fear.

“Haemorrhaging?” he replied.
“From what?”

“I think she could be having a miscarriage” Sarah said hardly able to believe the word herself.

“Oh shit Sarah” Alex said turning his attention back to Melanie who was still unconscious. He bent down and kissed her forehead and whispered into ear “Mel I am here kiddo. You are going to be just fine”.

Katie, who had been watching out the front door for the ambulance, came back in a short while later to tell them that the ambulance was outside.

Suddenly, two paramedics appeared in the room and instantly began assessing Melanie’s condition.

“I am sorry sir but you’ll have to step back” one of them said and he stood back waiting for Alex to move. It was only when Alex stood up that he noticed just how much blood there was beneath Melanie. He felt his stomach churn. He knew this was serious.

“What’s her name?” the paramedic asked as he kneeled down next to her.

“Melanie” Alex replied. He looked around the room at the worried faces of Sarah, Grace, Katie and Lucy. He wanted to smile at them and offer them some reassurance but he just couldn’t because he was scared to death.

“Is she pregnant?” the other Paramedic asked and she attached a blood pressure cup to Melanie’s arm.
“And if she is, how long?”

“We don’t know” Sarah replied, her voice crackling with unshed tears. “But if she is she is at least six weeks”.

“Melanie sweetheart can you hear me” the female paramedic said loudly into Melanie face but there was no response. She looked down and checked the gauge on the blood pressure monitor. She looked up and the other paramedic and spoke. “Her B.P is not great. We need to start an I.V and get her on oxygen”.

They all stood there and watched helplessly as they poked and prodded Melanie. Alex thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest. This was his baby, his Melanie and he felt so helpless because there was nothing he could do to help her.

Five minutes later she was being wheeled out to the ambulance, she still hadn’t regained consciousness. Alex insisted on going in the ambulance with her and Grace said she would drive Sarah there. Katie and Lucy said they would stay and look after Jamie.

When Sarah and Grace reached the hospital, they found Alex pacing up and down the corridor. When he saw them both, he began to cry.

“Alex what is it” Sarah cried as panic washed over her.

“They have rushed her to surgery” Alex explained and then he stopped and looked at Sarah and she knew there was more. “Sarah her heart stopped in the ambulance. They had to use those paddle things on her to get it started again”. Sarah didn’t reply she just began to sob and Alex wrapped his arms around her and Grace who was also in complete shock.

A few minutes later a nurse came out and led them to a family room to wait and told them she would be back as soon as she had some news.

Hours passed before finally a doctor appeared at the door of the room.

“Are you Melanie O’Leary’s family” he asked before he sat down

“Yes” Alex replied.

“Ok so we have some good news and some bad news” he said as he sat down in front of them. “Melanie had what we call an Ectopic pregnancy, which can be quite serious, but is not uncommon and usually can be treated very quickly and without major surgery. However Melanie suffered a slight rupture of one of her Fallopian tubes, possibly a couple of days ago. If Melanie had been treated straight away then it would have been a simple procedure and she would have been fine. But she wasn’t and what was a slight rupture turned into a major abruption. It was touch and go for a while in there but she is stable and should be just fine”.

“Oh thank God” Sarah said as relief spread through her but Alex knew the doctor wasn’t quite finished.

“There is more isn’t there” he said not taking his eyes off the doctor. “You said there was bad news”.

“Melanie lost a large amount of blood and her heart wasn’t coping” the doctor continued. “The abruption was quite extensive and we were fighting against the clock and against the bleeding we couldn’t control”.

“What are you saying” Sarah asked as her head spun with all the information.

“We were left with no choice” his voice sounding graver than before. “If we didn’t stop the bleeding and her heart had stopped again we would not have been able to restart it. So the only choice we had was to perform a complete hysterectomy”.

Sarah felt her legs buckle from beneath her as she cried out. Alex grabbed her and held her too him. They held on to each other and sobbed for their daughter and the future she had just been robbed of.

Melanie lay in the hospital bed and stared blankly out the window. She had been in hospital for ten days and today she was due to
go
home.

When she came around two days after her operation she had found her Mom and Dad on either side of her bed. Her Mom was curled in an armchair asleep, Melanie thought she looked awful. Her Dad was sitting holding her hand and staring into space. He too looked awful.

“Melanie” he whispered with relief when he saw her eyes open. “How do you feel sweetheart? Are you in pain?”

“I am thirsty” she croaked.

Alex pressed the call button for the nurse and when the nurse arrived into Melanie’s room he asked was it ok for her to have a drink. The nurse’s arrival woke Sarah and the nurse asked them both to wait outside while she checked Melanie over.

When they returned Melanie had been propped up in her bed and had her hair brushed and pulled up into a ponytail. She looked at her parents expectantly as they each took their seats next to her.

After they broke the news of what had happened to her she became so upset that she had to be sedated and she spent the next couple of days in and out of consciousness.

And now she was going home but in all honesty all she wanted to do was runaway, far away, away from the sympathetic glances and sympathetic voices, and away from the silent glances between her Mom and Dad.

Katie and Lucy had been regular visitors but even they couldn’t lift her spirit. She just had no fight left inside her.

“Hey sweetheart” Alex said as he entered her room but she didn’t respond. She just continued to stare blankly out the window. “I was just talking to the doctor and he said you are good to go”. Again he got no reply.

He sat down on the edge of her bed and stared at her.

“Melanie I know I can’t begin to know how you’re feeling” he said softly as he took her hand. “But I wish you would talk to me. Tell me how I can help you”. She turned and looked at him for a moment and he could see the tears dancing in her eyes.

“Give me back my womb” she finally replied her voice sounding so cold and bitter that it broke Alex’s heart.

“Melanie I wish I could” he said trying to fight back the grief that was trying to choke him.

“But you can’t” she bit back at him and pulled her hands from him abruptly. “So then there is really nothing you can do then is there?”

“Melanie please
don’t
shut me out again” he begged. “Let me call Sam, tell him what happened. He has a right to know”.

“No” she exclaimed, her voice filled with a sudden panic. “I don’t want him here”.

“Melanie he was all you called for two whole days while you were in and out of consciousness” Alex pushed. “Your Mom said we should wait to call him but I should have never listened, he has a right to know”.

“He has no right” Melanie screamed as the tears broke free and trickled down her face. “Besides he is never going to want me now, no one will. I am not a proper woman anymore. I will never be a mother I can never give any man a child. You should have just let me die with the baby”.

“Oh Melanie No” Alex sobbed as he pulled his daughter to him and held her tight as the grief she had been holding inside for the past few days finally poured out of her. He knew she needed to let everything that was bottled up free or she would never be able to move on.

He held her for over an hour until finally she fell into a deep restful sleep. While she slept he rang both Grace and Sarah to tell them what had happened and that the doctor said they would leave her a couple more hours before they discharged her to make sure she was ok. Sarah wanted to go straight up to the hospital but Alex said it would be better to let her sleep that if she arrived just might upset her all over again.

It was almost eight when Melanie and Alex got to Sarah’s apartment.  Grace and Jamie were there waiting on them too. At Melanie’s
request  Sarah
, who had been waiting on pins and needles, led her straight to her room and helped her into her bed and tucked her in before kissing her forehead and switching off the side light and left her to sleep.

“What the hell happened” Sarah asked Alex when they all moved into the kitchen out of earshot of Melanie.

“She just lashed out” Alex explained. “Everything she had built up over the past ten days, probably even before that. I had asked her if she wanted me to call Sam. She just freaked out”.

“Jesus Alex” Sarah snapped. “I told you to drop it about him”.

“Sarah, he was the baby’s father” Alex replied angrily. “He has a right to know. Not to mention he was all she wanted while she was out of it”.

“Alex that boy did this to our daughter” Sarah exclaimed angrily.
“Since when are you such a big fan of his anyway?”

“Don’t you think I am pissed at that kid too” Alex shouted back. “If you remember I was the one who said leaving her alone at the beach was a monumental mistake but I had both you and Grace telling me she would be fine she had a good head on her shoulders. But look how that decision turned out”

“So it’s my fault this happened” Sarah snapped back in disgust. She was shocked at Alex’s reaction and if she was honest, at hers too. They never fought with each other yet here they were
,
both filled will so much anger.

She looked at Grace who watched them both with horror.

“Sarah I know you are angry” Alex sighed. “But it took two of them to make this baby, what happened after that was no one’s fault”.

“Well, tell that to your daughter who can never have a child of her own” Sarah shouted in frustration.

“STOP” Melanie’s voice came from behind them making all three of them turn around in unison. “It’s no one’s fault except mine. I ruined everything. Gran was right. I am nothing but trouble. I ruined your lives. I messed things up with Sam. I couldn’t even carry a baby without messing that up too. Now I am useless to anyone. I am sorry I disappointed you and let you all down but I can’t bear to hear you two fighting over me. Please…please just stop”. She sank to the ground and sobbed.

Sarah fell to the floor next to Melanie and pulled her daughter into her arms, holding her like she was just a baby. Melanie buried her face into her mother’s chest and let her go of all her grief.

Grace wrapped her arms around Alex who was sobbing as he watched his daughter fall to pieces and could do nothing to help her. Jamie sat happily on the living room floor playing with his toys seemingly unaware that anything was wrong.

“Melanie you are not useless” Sarah said softly as she rocked Melanie in her arms. “You are the most important thing in the world to me and to your Dad, Grace and Jamie. We love you so much and you have never disappointed us. What has happened is a terrible, terrible thing but it doesn’t make us love you any less”.

“Mom I can’t do this” Melanie sobbed. “It hurts too much”.

“I know it does sweetie” Sarah replied. “But you aren’t alone, Your Dad, Grace and I will be with you every step of the way”.

“Mom I miss him so much” Melanie whispered.

“Let me call him Mel” Alex said finally finding his voice.

“I can’t” Melanie replied wiping the tears from her face. “I know him and he will blame himself for what happened. And he will want to stand by me but I will never know if it’s because he loves me or because he feels responsible for me. I have to let him go because I love him too much”.

An hour later, Melanie was tucked back in bed. She could hear low murmurs coming from the hallway. She knew her Dad and Grace were about to leave and they were talking with her Mom about how they were going to handle the situation with her.

She was a “situation”. She buried her face in shame. How had this happened to her? How had her life become such a bloody soap opera?

She hugged her pillow tightly to her but it offered little comfort. She wished Sam was there. She missed him so much. She always felt better in his arms. But that was something she would never experience again.