Forbidden Temptations (Tempted Series Book 2) (10 page)

What he forgot to add to that sentence was while I proved my loyalty to him I lost my credibility to the people I loved most in this world. That was something I couldn
’t get back.

“I don’t think I have to question your loyalty but it’s been brought to my attention you may be feeling a certain way … let’s say bitter.”

“Let’s get something straight Vic, I don’t fucking like you, I fucking despise you. I couldn’t give two fucks if you dropped dead tomorrow. In a perfect world, I am the man who takes your fucking life the same way you’ve taken mine. I took an oath and as much as it pains me to abide by that oath, you are right, I am loyal to the core. That’s not saying there aren’
t days when I question my loyalty. I think how easy it would be to put a bullet right between your eyes and end this nightmare once and for all, but t
hen I think about your daughter,” I swallowed hard against the lump that had lodged its way in my throat. “I picture the way she’d look at me knowing I was the man who killed her father and that look is what stops me,” I blew out a breath. “Go home and kiss your daughter because she’s the only reason you’re still fucking breathing,” I paused, taking a good long look at him. “You took it all man, you took everything from me. My woman, my kid, my fucking soul,” I shook my head. “Like I said, do yourself a favor, and pray to God you never fucking hurt your daughter again, because so help me … I’ll put you in a box old man.” I raised an eyebrow at him wondering how he liked being on the receiving end of the same threat he once delivered to me. “Don’t doubt me Vic; I’m not afraid of being locked away. I’d be fucking happy to rot in a cell for the rest of my life knowing I actually did something to put me behind bars, especially if that something was ending your existence.”

“True to the core,” Victor mumbled. “Not a phony bone in your body boy; never has been,” he let out a breath. “Takes big balls to talk to a boss like that.”

“Takes big balls to sit in jail for a crime you didn’t commit too.”

“Fair enough,” he said, pushing out his chair before turning around to fix himself a drink. “You’ve spoken your peace, now it’s time you listen while I speak mine.”
He handed me the drink he had poured himself and I accepted it, shooting it back. I slammed the empty glass down on top of his desk, pulling out the chair in front of his desk and taking a seat. I lifted my legs, crossing them and resting them on top of his desk as I leaned back in the chair and waited for him to speak.

Vic took a seat on the edge of his desk, taking the first sip of his drink, mulling over his words.

“It was a good thing you were there for Adrianna and the baby,” he lifted his gaze from his drink and his eyes bore into mine. “She’s had a rough time.”

“No shit.” I said, angrily.

“She’s a mother now, Anthony. She needs to keep her head clear, focus on her son, what I’m saying is she can’t afford to have history repeat itself.”

“No, what you’re saying is you want me to stay the fuck away from her,” I pulled my legs off his desk, straightened my posture as I leaned into him. “I’m not you, Vic. I wouldn’t let the poison that’s become my life affect her, not anymore. I have no intentions of disrupting Adrianna’s life and as much as I hate that we agree on something, I agree with you I’m the last thing she or Luca need in their lives.”

He nodded, taking another sip of his drink. He didn’t have to speak for me to know that he took my word, my vow, as a binding agreement. I had made it perfectly clear to this man my love for his daughter is what drove me. I wasn’t about to hurt her more than I already had, if that was the case he’d be in the morgue.

“I thought we’d brake you into the rotation slowly, give you a chance to get used to your freedom again. Maryann Valente is having a rough go at it with Michael. I want you to start making routine visits, but I don’t want them to know you’re checking up on them. Just be scarce but I want a full report on each of them every week. I want to know if he’s in trouble, if she’s financially hurting, whatever you can find out I want to know. I couldn’t make the people pay for Val’s death but I can help the people he left behind.”

“Seems to me that’s what you should’ve done all along,” I said, rising to my feet. “I’ll need addresses.” I started for the door, pulled it open, and turned around to glare back at Vic. “And I’ll need my gun.”

He looked at Jimmy, who nodded and I had no doubt by the end of the day I’d have my piece back in my hands. I walked out of the office, closing the door behind me as I made my way through the café.

The devil in me was back.

I keep picturing her face after the impact of the crash, the stillness of her features, the blood gushing from her temple. I can still hear my own cries ringing in my ears, begging her to wake up. I remember unbuckling her seat belt, debating on whether I should pull her out of the car; in the end I held her hand and waited for help. I didn’t know the extent of her injuries and didn’t want to risk moving her. If my actions resulted in further issues or complications for her, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.

I held her hand in the ambulance as they worked on her, giving her oxygen, and struggling to get her to regain consciousness. It wasn’t until we arrived at the hospital and they wheeled her away from me that I remembered to mention the baby. I felt like the biggest piece of shit but in my defense, all I could focus on was making sure Adrianna survived.

I don’t know who called Victor and Grace, maybe someone at the scene, or a nurse, but once they showed up, I became invisible.
I sat alone, begging someone to tell me something, anything. I was just the boyfriend driving the car that put her in the hospital to begin with, so I got nothing.

Nurses came over and tried to bring me into triage, they said I was bleeding, but I didn’t seem to notice. I couldn’t care less. I wasn’t going anywhere without finding out how Adrianna and our kid were doing. Jesus, I thought, realizing that none of this could be good for the baby.

I hadn’t thought much about becoming a father, didn’t think I was cut out to be a dad. I didn’t have a father, didn’t even have a father figure to pretend was my dad. What kind of dad would I make? Let’s not mention the fact I was a fucking criminal, surrounded by criminals and illegal dealings. Then there was the fact I had cut a deal with the devil and was about to be incarcerated. I couldn’t be anybody’s father but here I was praying to God that my kid would make it.

Somewhere between Adrianna telling me we would be having a baby and sitting here in this hospital, I became a man worrying about the wellbeing of his family. A man who didn’
t know whether he was coming or going but was never more sure about anything in his life then wanting to meet his child.
It was crazy how this unborn child became the second most important person in my life, the first being his mother.

I got lost in my thoughts, trying to picture what our baby would look like, desperate to conjure an image of Adrianna holding him or her. I could picture us having a daughter, God’
s way of paying me back for every sin I ever committed. Damn, I bet she
’d be the most beautiful little girl I ever laid eyes on. I wouldn’t mind a son either; it would give me the opportunity to teach him all the things my father never taught me. Whatever we have, I just pray it’s healthy, that’s all that matters.

“Anthony…,” Grace whispered, laying her hand on my shoulder, startling me out of my thoughts. I lifted my bloodshot eyes to hers and see she has been crying, but more than that, she looks pained by the words she has to deliver. I glanced over her shoulder at Victor who is standing alongside a doctor, nodding slightly before bowing his head.

I don’t know what I’m about to hear but by the expressions on the faces that surround me I imagine it’s not good. I hunch over and it takes me a minute to realize I’m crying. I don’t remember the last time I shed a single tear. Grace wraps an arm around my shoulders and tries to get me to pay attention to her but I don’t want to hear what she has to say. I try to stall not wanting to listen to the words I dread. I shrug her arm off me and rise to my feet, stumbling a bit, lightheaded, almost as if I’m having an out of body experience.

Grace calls for Victor, probably hoping he could reign me in, the bastard doesn’t have a shot in hell, but he remains where he stands. Her efforts wasted. I watched him shake the doctor’s hand and then look over at me. His face is blank, there is no emotion, no sorrow, nothing.

I finally turn to Grace.

“Adrianna?” I croak.

“She will be okay.” Grace whispered, reaching for my hand.

I swallow as she gives it a squeeze.

“The baby?” I asked hoarsely. It didn’t even dawn on me, she has most likely just found out about Adrianna’s pregnancy.

“I’m sorry Anthony but they couldn’t get a heartbeat.” She murmurs through her tears.

I stare at her for a moment, trying to process her words.

“They will give her a DNC, it’s a procedure to …,” her words trail off and she shakes her head. “I’m sorry,” she repeats.

I pulled my hand away from hers and glanced between her and Victor. I let out a whimper realizing I lost a child, a child I never knew, a child that never had a chance. Grace tries to reach for me but I walk away and lean against the wall.

I’ll never be able to explain the way I felt in that moment. I can try but nothing I say will come close to the hell I was living. I balled my hands into fists, anger spreading throughout my body like an uncontained fire. I snapped my head backwards, crashing the back of my skull into the wall, trying to divert the pain in my chest to somewhere else in my body. It felt
as if my chest was cracking open and someone put my heart in a vice. I slammed my head against the wall again and again…
but the pain wasn’t dulling the ache in my heart.

*****

I was standing at the foot of Adrianna’s bed when she stirred. Victor had tried to ban me from being with her when she woke up but I told him I’d do everything he wanted, no questions asked, no arguments - however, I would not allow another to tell Adrianna the news, I would be the one to tell her we had lost our baby. Grace agreed with me and Vic backed off. I wonder if she knows of Vic’s plan for me to go to jail and to commit murder. Which makes me wonder if she knows what kind of animal her husband truly is or what kind of animal I am about to become.

Adrianna’s eyes flutter open and she looks all around frantically. I quickly step to the side of her bed so she can see me, taking her hand in mine. It’s funny I never noticed how big my hand was compared to hers.

“It’s okay Reese’s, I’m here,” I whisper.

“Anthony,” she murmurs and I bend my head to kiss her knuckles. “What happened to you?” She asks with concern on her face. “Your eye,” she questions.

“It’s nothing,” I whisper, not even sure what she’s talking about. I sit on the edge of her bed and lean over, tucking away the fallen stands of her hair from her face. She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, even now with a piece of gauze taped to her temple. “Do you remember what happened?” I ask, forcing my words pass the lump in my throat.

She’s silent for a moment and I think she doesn’t remember. This will be even harder than I imagined.

“We were in a car accident,” she says.

“Yeah,” I nod.

“But we’re okay right?” She asks, with traces of fright laced into her voice. “I mean I feel okay. My head hurts and my body aches but …,” she moves her legs slightly, “I can wiggle my toes and all.”

I glance down at our joined hands and even though I’ve rehearsed it repeatedly in my head for the last couple of hours, I have no idea how to tell her, our baby is gone.

“Anthony? You’re scaring me. Is it the other driver? Did he die?”

“I’m sorry,” I blurt, not wanting to frighten her. “No. I know nothing about the other driver.”

“Then what is it?”

I lift my eyes to meet hers and I get lost in her beauty for a moment. How did we get here? How did we go from just two people crazy in love with one another to two people destined for heartache?

“A…,” I say gutturally, before clearing my throat and attempting my words again. “It’s the baby.”

“What about the baby?” She says, sitting up forcing me to act quickly and I place my hands gently on her shoulders to keep her from making any sudden movements. I lean over her and press a kiss to the top of her forehead in an attempt to calm her down before pulling back and holding her gaze.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry but the baby … the baby didn’t make it,” I whisper.

“What? No,” She looks at me confused and then shakes her head. “You’re wrong,” she pauses to study my face. “Anthony! Stop it! Tell me the truth,” she demands and sits up pushing away my hands from her shoulders.

“I wish I was,” I mumble before reaching for her again only to have her shrug my hands away.

“No you’re lying. Why would you say something like that?” Angry tears make their way down her face. “I know you’re lying because I’d feel something. I’d feel different some way and I feel nothing. Stop looking at me like that, Anthony. Stop it!” She yells as her body shakes with sobs.