Forbidden Spirits (22 page)

"I don't know
if I can," Tyler replied. "I was holding Gypsy's head in my lap and Diana landed on the post and when I looked at her I started seeing the world in a different way. It's impossible to explain. There was this swirling whitish-blue mist. Did you see it?"

Rose shook her head. "All I saw was you sitting in the pasture with Gypsy's head in your lap,
staring off, like you were frozen in place."

"
I don't know… maybe I was," Tyler said, in a reflective voice. "It was like I was transported in time to some peaceful, idyllic place, and I got this warm loving feeling that everything would be okay, then I was a part of the scene except that there was no
me
, and I never wanted it to end, but when it did, things had changed."

"Things like what?"

Tyler slowly picked himself up and stood, and said, while looking at Gypsy, who was grazing peacefully, "I can't explain it. My head's still filled with images, and I'll always process things backwards from the way most people do, but it's like I don't have to fight it anymore."

Rose
placed her hands on his chest, and said, "You're a unique man, and you were given special gifts the rest of us don't have. Accept them and be at peace with yourself."

Brows
still gathered in puzzlement, Tyler replied, "The thing is, for the first time in my life I am at peace. It's like..." his words drifted off because the experience was too profound to describe even to himself. Except for one simple explanation. Holding Rose's gaze, he said, with complete sincerity, "I'm thinking there
is
something to your spirits."

Rose
slipped her arms around his neck, and said, while looking up at him, "Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

Tyler
curved his arms around her, and replied, "Maybe not. I'm still trying to get used to the idea that I kind of like myself."

A loud
kree-eee-ar
, coming from above caught their attention. Tyler looked up to see Diana circling the sky, yet he hadn't been aware of her taking off from the fence post. "I guess she's really leaving this time," he said.

Rose
, watching Diana diving and dipping with a wind current, replied in a reflective voice, "I don't get that feeling."

Tyler eyed Rose with curiosity
. "Why would she stay? I'm not going to be drilling in the cave anymore, and whatever just happened with me out here with Gypsy changed me. Things are different now."

"Maybe," Rose said, "
but I'm not sure you got Diana's message. You had some kind of spiritual experience, like an unintended vision quest, which helped you come to terms with who you are, but there still could be more to it."

Tyler looked up at Diana
. He too felt like there was something more, but for the moment, he was a peace with himself, and Rose was in his arms, so anything else could wait.

***

Unlike when he was in the cavern the morning before, as Tyler sat in the pool, just after dawn, while trying to sort through this new phase in his life, he heard sounds all around him, small subtle sounds, like the buzz of a fly that found its way inside, and a sifting sound which he recognized as wind brushing against rocks near the entrance, and the flutter of leaves just outside. What he didn't hear were the voices in the mountain.

All his life he'd
questioned the source of the sounds, and the thought that he might be responsible for silencing them was deeply disturbing...

…drilling into a cavern where there are petroglyphs is asking for trouble…

Reflecting on Rose's words yet again, while thinking back on his experience in the pasture with Gypsy, he wondered if his troubles were truly over. It was odd, thinking in terms of sprits guiding things, but he had no explanation for what happened.

At once,
his head was filed with a scene of being in the pasture, with his arms around Gypsy's neck while believing she was dying. She didn't die, but it was a reminder that any one of his mares could get sick or injured and his Roman riding act would be in jeopardy, and if he were injured, it would be over, unless he had something more to fall back on. His dad had been after him for years to either go to college or find steady work, but until now it hadn't registered.

Shoving aside that disturbing thought, and deciding
it was time to get on with the real reason he was there, he dried off and dressed, then went about the task of closing the hole in the floor. But as he hefted the section of rock that had broken away and repositioned it in the hole, the idea came to him that he could open a school for natural horsemanship and work with horse owners who were having problems with their horses and teach them how to communicate with them. If he did that, along with his Roman riding act, he could support a family.

Feeling energized, he
fit the rock snuggly in place and tamped it down, then pushed the smallest fragments of rock along with the rock dust around the edge of the rock to fill in the gaps. He started to scoop up the rest of the rock fragments and debris and toss it outside to get rid of it, but something told him to leave it there, that it was part of the cave and shouldn't be taken away. He didn't understand why it should be that way, only that it should, so he piled it on top of the rock and tamped it down.

He stood, and looking at the place where the hole had been, he said,
"Okay spirits, if you're in here, I'm done. You can rest in peace." He hoped no one heard him, but the odd thing was, his words were sincere.

After hoisting the rock drill over his shoulder, he grabbed his lanterns and started back
, negotiating the trail at a fast pace. He was anxious to tell Rose of his decision to start a school for natural horsemanship, but as he walked, the germ of another idea began to take form. It was an idea that would take a lot of thought before he'd be ready to explain it to Rose and his family, but for the first time in his life, he believed he knew what his purpose for being was.

When
he reached the end of the forest trail between the spring and his place, and it opened up into the clearing, he saw Rose standing at the gate to the horse pasture, petting his mares. He could tell she was talking to them, and his mares were responding. He saw Gypsy flick an ear and poke her nose at Rose's hand, but at the same time, Estelle nosed Gypsy out so she could get her pats, and Luna extended her neck to get in on the petting...

…it's like you have six wives…

He couldn't help smiling at the memory, but soon he hoped there would be one wife and six equine kids, because he realized he was more like a father to them because they looked to him for guidance. But maybe he'd consider getting them a stallion. He'd need some young horses coming up to take their places in the act.

Almost as if she'd sensed his presence, Rose turned, and when she saw him her face lit up with the brightest smile he'd ever seen, and even from
a distance he could see her eyes shining, maybe brightened with tears of excitement, which had him hefting the drill off his shoulder and setting it down, along with the lanterns, and opening his arms to catch her as she ran toward him.

After he'd kissed her, and while he still had his hands locked behind her waist, and her arms were latched together behind his neck, he said, "This is an unexpected welcome. Is it something I can expect every time I come home?"

"I don't know… maybe… probably."

"So
, is that a yes or a no?"

"Probably a definitive yes because like I told you before, I could get addicted to your kisses, and I
think I already am, and I missed you all day and I just got excited when I saw you coming out of the woods because I didn't know where you were and I wanted to see you. I even told your ladies that I missed you and wondered where you were, and they told me they missed you too."

"How did they tell you that?" Tyler asked.

"I don't know," Rose replied. "It was just a feeling I got. Since you came from the direction of the spring, I assume you were there."

Tyler nodded. "It's different
now without the voices. I guess I really messed things up."

"I know this is all new to you," Rose said, "but you can't stop spirits from communicating with us. The voices are still there somewhere. They've just chosen to be
silent, for whatever reason. Maybe you're still right about a geyser creating the steam that's being forced through fissures that makes the humanlike voices, and that's what puts people into a mind state where they're open to communicating with spirits, and behind it all is a greater power with a plan for each of us, with spirits to deliver the message."

"If that's the case, then with no steam being forced through fissures to sound like voices, there still wouldn't be any communicating with spirits
," Tyler replied.

"That's not how it works," Rose said. "Spirits are in everything around us, and we can communicate with all of them if we free ourselves from outside
interferences, which is why people go to the spring where there are few distractions. But spirits can speak to us in dreams, or in cloud formations, or even through trees if you open your mind to the voices in your head that come when in the presence of spirits. Believing this is to accept and acknowledge the power of something greater than ourselves, who communicates to us through spirits that may take on any form, at any time, for the purpose of guiding us."

Tyler was actually beginning to understand because something definitely
communicated with him out there in the pasture with Gypsy. He had one question though. "I've been struggling with dyslexia all my life, so why didn't this spiritual experience, or whatever you want to call it, come earlier?"

"Because first you ha
d to be willing to open your mind to the fact that there are things around us that we can't begin to understand and have to accept on faith. But you also had to want the truth bad enough to face your worse fears while searching for answers. Spirits exist beyond the range of our senses so maybe the only proof we'll ever have will be the feeling of a presence to offer comfort when we're in trouble, thoughts when we need to make a difficult decision, or a sudden awareness and a shot of adrenaline to warn of danger. Whatever form they take, they come to us to offer hope and unconditional love, and to let us know we're never alone, and for that reason, we need to believe in spirits."

Tyler couldn't deny that whatever wrapped itself around him
in the pasture brought him hope, unconditional love and a greater understanding of himself. But the greatest gift of all, it brought him together with Rose.

As Rose made her way up the road toward Tyler's place, with Tundra loping alongside her, and
wearing a small pack on her back with a change of clothes, she felt her eagerness growing. It seemed as if the day would never end. She loved working at the museum, but her relationship with Tyler had moved to a new level, a place where she had no doubts and knew with certainty that he was her one true love, the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, and she wanted their lives together to start now. It was an unrealistic dream, and both families would tell them they were rushing headlong into things, and maybe Tyler would agree and suggest they wait until they had everyone's blessing, but for now, she just wanted to be with him.

She
'd informed her parents that she'd be staying at the ranch, meaning at Marc's house, and Marc assumed she'd be with her parents, and maybe she would be tonight, but she was leaving her options open in the event that Tyler might suggest they sleep under the stars, or maybe in his bed. There was no question that her hormones had risen to a level that had her feeling as if she would sizzle from inside, like what happened with spontaneous human combustion, when a person burned up without any outside source. It brought new meaning to the term
hot
. She was definitely hot. She also found herself smiling.

After penning Tundra up in the corral, and seeing the mares peacefully grazing in the pasture, she figured Tyler was inside, so she headed
up the passageway. The door to Tyler's quarters open, she went inside. Tyler was sitting at his drawing table, and when he saw her, he smiled his wonderful smile that had her heart racing and her breath quickening.

After giving him a
long, heartfelt kiss, she turned out of his arms and went to see what he was drawing and was surprised to see numerous drawings of Diana. The drawings were not in a tablet, however, but on individual sheets of paper. Rose lifted a drawing that was made up of hundreds of dots of varying pressure, and one that was done with fine lines, and there were several that were a combination of lines and points, as if Diana was changing form. Other drawings seemed nebulous, like Tyler knew what he was putting down on paper and it wasn't important that anyone else know because it was coming from within him.

"I understand why you're doing this," Rose said, "but why aren't the drawings in a tablet?"

"I don't know," Tyler replied. "What happened out in the pasture with Diana was as if the whole universe wrapped itself around me, so when I started drawing, I knew the pictures shouldn't be in a tablet, that they needed to be loose. It's hard to explain."

"You just did it very well, "
Rose said. She spotted several drawings off to the side and realized they were of her. Lifting one from the table, she saw that her lips were parted, as if she were saying something, and in the foreground was the back of a head, presumably Tyler's head. It was a quick sketch, except that her face was drawn with care. But there was a line around her head, like a halo that was open at the bottom. "I don't understand this one," she said. "I look as if I'm saying something."

Tyler took the drawing from her
and said, musingly. "You are. You're promising to love and cherish me and forsake all others. This is the edge of your wedding veil," he said, as his finger touched the line around her head.

Rose
looked up at Tyler and saw on his face about as much love as any man could hold inside, and he held that love for her. "When is this wedding supposed to take place?" she asked.

Tyler shrugged. "I don't know. It's just thoughts on paper. If it was up to me alone I
'd have it today, but you probably need time to make sure I'm what you want. For me there are no doubts."

"Honey," Rose said,
while slipping the drawing from his hands, "I'd marry you today in a heartbeat. I've never been so sure of anything in my life, and maybe we can take the whole night to talk about our plans for the future."

"All night?" Tyler asked, brows drawn.

Rose shrugged out of her backpack and set it on the floor, then curved her arms around his neck, and replied, "Yes, sweetheart, all night, and I suggest we turn in early so I don't become a headline in the morning paper as well as a statistic."

Tyler
laced his fingers behind her waist. "Okay," he said. "I'll bite. What's the headline?"

Rose
kissed him on the chin. "Spontaneous human combustion suspected in woman's death."

Tyler
eyed her with amusement, "So, you're admitting that I'm a really hot guy."

Rose kissed the hollow of his throat
. "No, I'm telling you that I'm a really hot squaw, and we still have some mares to feed, and Tundra to work on the lunge line, and dinner to fix, but then I plan for the rest of the night to be for us."

"Guaranteed."

***

In the quiet hours
just after daybreak, and in the aftermath of their lovemaking, Rose snuggled closer to Tyler in his narrow bed, and said, "When should we tell our parents we want to get married?"

Tyler kissed her on the forehead, and replied, "
Right away, but don't expect smooth sailing from my family. My brothers still think I'm a kid, my sister thinks no one could live with me, and my father will go into full-fledged lecture mode about how I need to wait until my horsemanship school is ongoing and I have a savings put away and money coming in on a regular basis so I can support a family."

"But I'm working, so between us we'll do fine
," Rose said.

"I know that
, and you know that, but the problem will be convincing my dad."

"
What about your mom?" Rose asked.

"
She'll be fine because she just wants me to be happy, and she knows you make me happy."

"How does she know that?"

Tyler kissed her on the tip of the nose, and replied, "She stopped by yesterday and flipped through some drawings of you, and she told me she liked you too."

"
Did she flip through
all
the drawings?" Rose asked, alarmed.

Tyler laughed. "No, baby. Th
at tablet's for me alone and it's tucked away in a drawer. She saw what was on my table. Meanwhile, I want to take a shower with you so I can have some images for more drawings."

"Wait! Are you serious?" Rose asked, wondering if this could become a problem.

Tyler laughed. "Yeah, I'm serious. You can get rid of any of them though, but we'll get a lock box for the ones you don't want to tear up. They're all just thoughts on paper."

Once in the shower,
as Tyler was spreading lather over Rose's body, he said, while concentrating on her breasts, "My heads so filled with clutter I feel like it could split open before I get it all down on paper." He soaped his hands again and made his way down her tummy.

"Honey," Rose said, while Tyler's hands began doing
their magic, "do you draw
everything
that goes through your head, I mean… what you're doing now would be pretty graphic on paper… umm… oh… oh…" Her climax came so fast she didn't have time to finish her thought.

But a
fter her breathing settled down some, Rose said, "You caught me by surprise, but now it's my turn. She soaped her hands and while she was trying her best to work some magic on Tyler, he kissed her long and deep, then said, "About the drawings… some of what happens has to stay in my head, but… oh man, what you're doing is really cluttering up my mind right now, and this isn't working." He turned off the shower, scooped Rose up in his arms, dripping wet, and carried her into the bedroom, then lowered her to the bed and finished what she'd started.

As they consummated their love yet again, Rose wished she could draw
the way Tyler could because she felt so much love in her heart she needed an outlet or else she'd find herself wanting Tyler in her bed for all eternity.

After she could catch her breath again, a
nd when they were cuddled together, Rose kissed Tyler on the jaw, and said, "When we're married, I don't want a bigger bed than this one because this is the way I want to sleep with you every night of our lives."

Tyler
nuzzled the top of her head, and replied, "That works for me too. I'm a minimalist, so when I got this bed I never intended to sleep alone in it, I just hadn't found a woman I thought would want to share it with me, but I kept hoping."

"Honey, my problem won't be sharing this bed with you, it will be having to leave
it and do other things, like work at the museum, and eat, and exercise Tundra, but then we'll have from sundown to sunup to shower and make love and shower and sleep and wake up and make love and fill your head with more clutter."

Tyler laughed, kissed her on the neck, and the curve of her shoulder, and her breast, and said, "My heads already starting to fill
so maybe you'd better shove me out of bed or we'll stay on a lovemaking, shower-taking, cycle all day…"

"I love that idea," Rose said, welcoming Tyler to her one last time.

After they'd dried and dressed, and while Tyler was bundling the wet bedding into a washing machine in a small utility room off the passageway, Rose found herself wandering over to the drafting table again, after looking at the drawings of Diana, and of her, she spotted a tablet that lay open on the shelf behind the drafting table, as if Tyler had set it aside when he started the drawings of Diana. Reaching for the tablet, Rose scanned the images, noting that they were a series of small sketches of people in historic dress, accompanied by words.

On closer examination, she saw that the words were strings of dialog
from Hamlet, but without punctuation, like, '
alas poor Yorik I knew him well Horatio he was a man of infinite jest
.' On the page was a jester and a man holding a skull. Flipping to another page, she found small sketches of a medieval sling, several $100 bills, a gun, and a swirling ocean with a ship, accompanied by the words
'whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them
.'

Tyler
returned from loading the washer and peered over her shoulder. "It's a way to learn a ton of information," he explained. "I can look at any one of those pages and see the scene in its entirety and know what comes before and after, and the pictures help the words stick in my head. This is the way I want to pass things on to kids who are struggling to read. It worked for me. The idea came after I'd filled in the hole in the cavern and was on my way back here. The way I see it, since I have the ability to shift my focus from mental images to drawings in order to resolve confusions, that combined with my new understanding of my body being one big electrical circuit, I came to the conclusion that I'm a unique kind of teacher who can teach dyslectic kids to use images to organize the clutter in their heads and learn to read."

"I don't understand what you mean by your body being a big electrical circuit," Rose said.

"It's kind of complex to explain, which is one of my problems that you might have to live with, but when I was in the pasture with Gypsy and Diana, and Diana lit up, like she was wired, and other things started happening, I realized we're all wired together, along with spirits as transmitters, and using the same circuit, I can get through to kids because their brains are wired more like mine than yours, and they'll probably understand better when I try to explain things."

"Actually," Rose said, "I just understood you perfectly, in a convoluted sort of way."

"Good, but I also want to write and illustrate some children's early readers so kids will get the idea, around first grade, how to decode words and connect them with images. For instance, with the word bug, there'd be a picture of a butterfly above the B because the B in butterfly sounds like the B in bug, and over the U would be an arrow pointing up, because the U in up sounds like the U in bug, and over the G would be a stick of gum, because the G in gum sounds like the G in bug. So kids can look at the word with the pictures over it and sound out the letters. If there was just a picture of a bug over the word bug, the kids wouldn't learn phonics. This can also work for dyslectic adults who never learned to read."

"So
then, this tablet is for teaching adults Hamlet?" Rose asked.

Tyler laughed. "No, that's an old tablet, the one I used when I was in high school. I got it out to see if it would work,
so maybe it's a little advanced."

Rose looked thoughtfully at the tablet, and the drawings, and said,
"You wanted do Hamlet then, and you still know the lines. Why don't you try out for the Willamette Shakespeare Theater in Portland? You'd make a good Hamlet. He was a complicated man too."

Tyler let out a little ironic laugh. "Yeah, well a guy who looks like an Indian would make a pretty odd-looking prince of Denmark."

"But you wanted to play the part," Rose said.

"I did, but the reason no longer exist
s. It served a purpose, and now I want to pass it on."

Rose curved her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly, and said, "You're an innovative man
, and without dyslexia you wouldn't be the man you are. We need dyslexic kind of thinkers. Our world wouldn’t be the same without them. And I think you're onto something teaching dyslectic kids and writing early reader books."