Forbidden Flowers (41 page)

Bill insisted that I continue to see Ethel, which I, of course, was most happy to do, and I've continued to have sex with her since. I keep Bill fully advised of what goes on between Ethel and me, which stimulates him no end. When I came home after my first experience with Ethel, Bill and I had a whole night of sex – he fucked me, went down on me, we had a sixty-nine. I must admit that, after Ethel, Bill looked better to me than ever before, and more important, the first time Bill sucked my cunt, I came beautifully, and even more significant, when he fucked

.me, I came for him, and this was the greatest gift he could have received!

Since then, Bill has expanded his thinking on sex. With his urging, I still see Ethel several times a week, and I religiously tell Bill everything that goes on between Ethel and me. After each time I have sex with Ethel, sex with Bill is much more exciting and satisfying.

Additionally, Bill has now brought me some new appli-ances, as I've also learned to masturbate satisfactorily. He brought me, for instance, a very sophisticated dildo with a rubber bulb, which one fills with warm soapy liquid. When I jerk off with it, which is frequent because Bill travels quite a lot, I use it to fuck myself (it's nine inches long, like Bill), but when I'm ready to come, I just squeeze the bulb, and the warm soapy liquid just like Bill's semen squirts into my cunt, so it's pretty much like having Bill there. More often, though, Ethel is with me and fucks me with the dildo, or sometimes Bill himself does it for me. The point is, Nancy, that either Ethel or Bill can make me come today easily. Bill travels quite a bit, and when Ethel is not available, he telephones me at night and directs me in the use of this great dildo.

Ethel made it possible for Bill to make me come almost at will. Today, he can fuck me and make me come, go down on me, screw me in the ass, and, very strangely, even when I go 281

down on him, I can also come. All of this because I'm thinking of Ethel at all times.,

I must mention that Ethel also introduced me to another marvelous act. At one point, she inserts a dildo deep in me, had me across the bed; then she sits beside me, spreads my cunt's lips, and licks my clitoris while she fucks me with the dildo.

Bill does this also, now – very effective!

While I was with Ethel, she suggested to me that my cunt would be much more attractive if I would shave it clean. She said she'd be glad to do the job for me, or Bill could. When I suggested this to Bill, he was thrilled, and that very same night, he stripped me, undressed himself, first used a scissors, then a woman's electric razor, and shaved me clean. When he saw my naked cunt, he went down on me at once, and my cunt had the same effect on Ethel. Both said it was the most beautiful cunt ever, and since then, Bill and Ethel have taken turns shaving me. After each time, I get sucked off, which is great.

Now, Nancy, I come regularly, with almost anything that's done to me. Bill fucks me, and I come; he goes down on me, and I come; he fucks me in the ass, and I come; he puts a dildo in my cunt and sucks my clitoris, and I come; Ethel goes down on me, and I come; she fucks me with a dildo, and I come; with her or Bill I have a sixty-nine and I come; when I masturbate with a finger or a dildo, I come. (Time out right now for coming with a dildo in my cunt.)

Whether you use any part of this letter or not, Nancy, it's been a great pleasure to write it. More than anything, it's great to be able to use basic language, as men do. Since my experience, with Ethel, my husband uses appropriate four-letter words, which thrill me. Where before he used to say, “let's have intercourse,” he now says, and I answer in kind, “Let's fuck, dear, or I want to suck your cunt or fuck you with a dildo.” In reply I tell him, “Fuck me, Bill, screw me in the ass, suck my cunt, or I want to suck your cock.” Ethel uses the same type of language, as I do with her, and she'll phone me, for instance, and say, “ Lizzy, darling, let's get together today so I can suck you off, fuck you with a dildo, or let's have a fuck with a double dildo.”

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Also since Ethel, I've masturbated almost daily, as I find I'm much more sexual than I had thought. When I'm in real need, I'll phone Bill at his office, and he'll instruct me how to masturbate over the phone. If he's alone, he'll also jerk off while we're talking. He'll tell me to arouse myself by feeling my tits and nipples, jerk myself off with a finger, then just how to insert the dildo, fucking me by phone and always making me come.

This is the point of it all, Nancy, which is that for some women such as me what it takes is another woman. For this reason, I urge that, if you are publishing a sequel, a bit more attention be paid to lesbian sex, which has saved me from a life of frustration, and also figures to do the same for many other women. After every session I have with Ethel, Bill is sexier than ever. After a day spent with her, Bill spends most of the night fucking me, going down on me, having sixty-nines, etc.

All through sex with him and Ethel, I just keep coming like crazy, and if you ask me who's more effective, I couldn't really say. Now that my curt is clean-shaven, Bill fucks me and goes down on me more than ever, and he insists that I have sex with Ethel at least a few times a week. As Bill predicted, the dam is broken, and I come almost at will. Also, I don't have to tell you that to be aroused, I don't need the actual experience, just the fantasy of it will do the trick.

So, Nancy, if you do publish a sequel, please stress lesbian sex much more, as there must be thousands of women who are in the position I was. Bill and I were never happier, never had more sex, and I enjoy both of them completely. Bill fucks and sucks me off on the average of ten or twelve times per week, plus at least two days with Ethel. In addition, I masturbate four or five times per week when Bill is home, twice that when he's away.

As a postscript, Ethel is now after me to join her and her husband in a threesome, but I've suggested that she join Bill and me instead. In a foursome, I suppose it would be expected that the two men have sex as well, and this is not for Bill, although Ethel has hinted that her husband might not be averse.

We shall see! I'll keep you advised.

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Again, Nancy, it's been a great pleasure to be able to write frankly. Sex with women and men is wonderful, and I would like to think that I have helped many other women .make up their minds.

P.S. I've masturbated three times during this letter, so whether you use it or not, I've benefited by three great climaxes. Like I said, just thinking or writing about my past experiences, my fantasies, turns me on.

I have chosen the letter that follows to be the last in this book, because it sums up for me all that is best about women's sexuality. Joni acts out her own fantasies, and those of her lover too; she even made a living “for three months” out of one of them. Her fantasies are as varied and unexpected as some of the best kinds of sex itself – cheerful, self-accepting, and even humorous, but filled with women's unending desire to see sex as a vehicle for a more abundant life. Joni is serious in her writing, but never heavy, imaginative to the point of approaching science fiction, but so filled with the erotic juices of life that her futuristic machines are never more important than her lusty women and men.

Joni tells me that her letter contains her “own very genuine fantasy.” The fact that she has put it into skillful story form does not mean that the emotions are not as real as those in any other woman's fantasy. All fantasies are “made up.” Joni's are made up by a writer. That's all.

Joni

Since childhood, I've wanted to be a dancer – with a streak of exhibitionistic sexuality involved. There is something sexually seductive about performing dances. In earliest puberty (or before – I can't remember exactly) I daydreamed such old-fashioned things as being a maiden captured and forced to dance naked for the enjoyment of a sultan or Arabian prince (who no doubt fell in love with me and married me to make the fantasy proper and respectable). In adolescence, I admitted to a 284

secret desire to be a stripper. But to my inhibited and puritanically raised mind, such an ambition could never be realized, and so I used to dream of being a movie star who played the role of a stripper in a film. Talk about inhibitions! This desire of mine was certainly never mentioned, let alone fulfilled, after I married a very puritanical husband (he was a lousy lover, and we were never good friends, either), but, luckily, I met a man who uninhibited me (we've been living together for almost seven years now). His own fantasies centered around the element of the brazen femme fatale – strippers, women who pose in provocative stages of dress and undress in men's magazines

– so in his presence, hurray! I can live my fantasies and please both of us! When I told him of my secret desire to be an honest-to-God stripper he encouraged me.

I put together an “act.” And I performed it to an audience in a topless bar for over three months. The audiences were impressed – they grew larger every week. I was as sexy and seductive as I could possibly be – putting on an act, that is.

Something about patterning it, performing over and over, makes it grow stale – a job to be done. It was really marvelous fun, at first, but to keep on creating new acts and dances and props was distracting to my number one Art, that of writing.

And the old got boring, and not particularly sexy after a while.

I was an actress, performer, creative artist, more than a woman involved in sexual pleasures. I gave it up, but not before I'd enjoyed the sensation of inspiring desire in many men, and pretty well fulfilling – as best as reality can – my secret ambition. I still love to dance seductively. And I've added a dimension to sexual fantasies (my own) I never had before.

In my fantasies now, it is the future, and I have transcended time. Sexual mores have changed. I am a professional exhibitionist-seductress-prostitute. Every night, I do my job, perform my art, and fulfill my sexual needs – all at the same time. In an amphitheater, a large Sex Machine (miracle of science) has been installed. An audience of more than a hundred men pay a big admission price to participate. I am the star. I wear gorgeous clothes – the slinkiest dresses, furs, gloves … the most delicate, sexiest underwear. I wear something different every night. I enter the center stage – a sort of glass domed affair 285

with soft spotlights. The men can watch me from little cubicles

– one for each man, so he can't be distracted by the others.

Electronic waves produce sensations and effects for each man inside his individual room. The glass wall between us is supposed to be one-way, so that they can see me but I don't see them (some are still shy, self-conscious despite the new morality), but actually, I wear contact lenses that enable me to see them all very clearly.

Inside the stage, I begin to seduce them. I slink and recline; dance a little, slowly remove my garments, one by one. I wear a see-through bra and panties, sit on a low couch, one leg drawn up. I roll over, move about. I take off the panties and bra. I dance and move as if I were making love. All the while, I can see each man in his condition of stimulation. A whole sea of erected penises (aroused by my actions) encircle me. I can watch while some of them go into the spasms of orgasm, ejaculating fountains of semen, while they enjoy the exact sensations of having entered my body as I move, as I do … and look so desirable. Of course, the Sex Machine works for me, too. Unknown to the men, I can choose any one of them I want, and recreate his exact actions and form in my own body; or I can push any number of buttons (they are hidden under the cushion of the couch) and, in effect, be copulating with ten of them at a time. The sight of me in the midst of orgasm and multi-orgasm makes all those who haven't yet climaxed, come, and those who already did, do it again. It's a gigantic orgiastic vision all around me, while I copulate with over a hundred men.

The future holds a promise of much sexual fun for me. Perhaps I am one of the few science-fiction-sexual-fantasists around. Perhaps it's a good way to escape the mundane and the residue of Puritanism. The future … or life on another planet.

What if there were a planet where sexuality had NEVER had an element of forbidden evil? What would it be like? I like to imagine … . On this planet (Earth), all pleasures but one are enjoyed without secrecy. We like to eat, and we go to dinner parties and gourmet restaurants. We dance and sing at social functions. We perform and watch the arts. Some of us become gourmets and connoisseurs of various pleasures and arts. What 286

if we could treat sexual pleasure the same way? No, neither brothels nor modern swinger's clubs work the way I have in mind. They lack something – erotic finesse, style… Maybe what I'm thinking of is impossible, because the best sexual designs work between two people who are in tune to each other. It's pretty hard to share and incorporate such personal intimate needs with those very different from yourself. Or is that a false concept created out of my time and place? So far it has been true, but for me in fantasy, one can be a time and space traveler as well as a designer of everything to suit one-self.

I travel, to a very far distant time. Life-styles have changed enormously. Sexual needs can be fulfilled in different ways.

One can stay home with a lover … or go out to charming places. Pleasure Places. A little like a combination of a fine hotel, nightclub. Lovers can go together, for that matter, to enjoy the entertainment and stimulants. Or, lacking a lover, one goes alone. There are many choices – things to suit different tastes. The decor is always charming, and conducive to pleasure. There are foyers and hallways that are museums of beautiful erotic art. Statues, paintings, I have my favorites –

Hercules pleasuring Aphrodite, done in enormous white marble, every detail marvelously executed and visible. I like the warm-water, perfumed baths with their fountains and water-falls and underwater lights. Of course, whenever there are dancing girls, I'm one of them (often the star). I can do everything from a Moulin Rouge can-can to a harem girl's gyrating belly dance, not to mention a tableau of naked statues come to life – Venus and Apollo; a nymph and a faun, consummating their desires in a ballroom that recreates a misty green forest.