Forbidden Broadway: Behind the Mylar Curtain (59 page)

After the break in the show's New York run and our stints in L.A. and San Diego, we
were very excited about opening a new edition in New York at the Triad Theatre on
West 72nd Street. Does that location sound familiar? Well, the Triad is the new incarnation of Palsson's Supper Club, the very same venue where Forbidden Broadivaywas
originally done in 1982.

The 1995-96 season was particularly interesting and varied: Rent was big news,
Julie Andrews was back on Broadway in Victor/Victoria, and Carol Charming was back
with her last revival of Hello, Dolly!!There was that smash revival of The Kingand I with
Donna Murphy and Lou Diamond Phillips, and other noteworthy shows like Big and
Bring in Da Noise, Bring in Da Funk. Show Boat was playing at the Gershwin, and Nathan Lane had done a revival of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.

Then there was A Delicate Balance with Rosemary Harris, George Grizzard, and
Elaine Stritch; even though it was a play, it was almost like a musical in its hype. And
most importantly there was Master Class, eminently spoofable because it was about
Maria Callas and it was so operatic-especially when Patti LuPone replaced Zoe
Caldwell after having been fired from Sunset Boulevard.

So there was a lot for us to "reflect upon," which led to Forbidden Broadway Strikes
Back! That was the perfect title because we had been away for a while. It was also a
great time for a new edition because American musicals were back in a big way. It
felt like Broadway was finally starting to come out of the British "operacals" era; Les
Miz, Phantom, and Cats were all still running, but they weren't the new, trendy shows
anymore.

One of the major occurrences of the time was that Cats passed A Chorus Line as the
longest-running show in Broadway history. In our show, we had a "Stop Cats!" number.
The point was, "Enough is enough!" It was all right for Cats to still be running, but for
it to break A Chorus Line's record was just wrong.

Left: Donna English (as Julie Andrews), Bryan Batt (as Lou Diamond Phillips), David Hibbard (as Nathan Lane),
and Christine Pedi (as Elaine Paige). Right: Donna English, Bryan Batt, Christine Pedi, and Tom Plotkin lead the
protest to "Stop Cats!"

Phill George and I agree that creating Forbidden Broadway Strikes Back! was one
of our most enjoyable experiences in the show's history. Phill did an incredible job
with the staging, and that freed up a lot of time for me to go home and hone the lyrics. Although Phill and I were no longer in a romantic relationship at that point, we
continued to work together fruitfully through the many editions of the show that followed. You could say our professional relationship was an Off-Broadway version of
the one between Gwen Verdon and Bob Fosse-although Phill always reminded me,
"I'm no Gwen Verdon, and you, Gerard, are no Bob Fosse."

As Fred Ebb might have said, that year at Forbidden Broadway was The Happy
Time. Heaven knows, we had a lot to work with. Sondheim's Passion had opened and
closed while we were in California, but the show was too juicy for us to skip over: So
we had Donna Murphy playing Anna in The King and I as if she were Fosca from Passion, singing "I Whistle a Sondheim Tune."

I was particularly proud of the Master Class sketch. Patti LuPone was the teacher,
and her students were the people who had wronged her: Madonna, who had done the
movie version of Evita; Glenn Close, who had stolen Patti's role in Sunset Boulevard;
and Andrew Lloyd Webber, who had fired her from that
show. It was all about gossip and hearsay, and it came
out like a sharp little one-act play.

Ms. LuPone came to see the show while we were
doing that sketch. I think she liked it; she hung around
afterwards and took pictures with the cast. But I remember her saying to me, "That was much better than
the last number you wrote about me [meaning "I Get
a Kick Out Of Me"J. Thanks, Gerald!" Now, I'm pretty
sure she knows my name is Gerard. So maybe that was
her way of getting in a little dig.

Phill George and Gerard Alessandrini give 'em the of
glossy Fosse.

We had previously spoofed Julie Andrews with a
number called "I Couldn't Hit the Note (Until They
Dropped the Key)." I had heard through the grapevine
that she knew about it and was very upset. But for the
Victor/Victoria spoof, we focused on the whole drama
of her turning down her Tony Award nomination. That
spoof was far less mean-you could even say it was
supportive-so we tried to get her to come see the
show. But it never happened.

I did get to meet Julie through my talented friend
Rachel York, who was in Victor/Victoria. I went backstage after the show and asked Julie
to sign my My Fair Lady cast album, on which I already had Rex I larrison's signature.
He had written, "Congratulations, Gerard, for a job well done." Julie asked me, "Why
was Rex congratulating you? What do you do?" I said, "Well ... I'm the writer and director of Forbidden Broadway." She gasped, "Oh!"-and just for a moment, she looked
as if someone had squirted a lemon in her face. But she immediately recovered, said
"That's wonderful," and signed the album: "Love, Julie Andrews."

Our show had a tremendous cast at the time: Bryan Batt, Donna English, and Christine Pedi at her peak. That edition was a lot of people's favorite Forbidden Broadway,
partly because we had so much great material to work with. Michael Crawford was
doing a concert tour, so we razzed him with a number called "Put On Your Phony
Voice," to the tune of "Put On Your Sunday Clothes" from Hello, Dolly!

Our parody of Rent was an eye-opener for me. We had spoofed rock musicals
before, and I had found that the original lyrics were pretty loose as far as how well
they scanned and rhymed, how little subtext they contained, and so on. I assumed
Rent was going to be more of the same, and it wasn't until I actually started working on the parody that I realized how well
crafted Jonathan Larson's lyrics and libretto are. It's tragic that he didn't live
to write more shows.

"Seasons of Hype": Bryan Batt, Christine Pedi, Donna English,
and Tom Plotkin.

In the summer of 1997, we moved
the show to the cabaret space at Ellen's
Stardust Diner on Broadway-right
next to the Winter Garden, where Cats
was playing. That was where Elaine
Stritch came to see Christine "do" her.
As I remember, we weren't very nervous
about her coming. I guess we figured
anyone who's that uncensored and direct about life could probably take being made fun of, and besides, I don't
think we said anything all that bad
about her.

Donna Murphy came to see the
show, and I remember that she was
practically under the table-either
from embarrassment or because she
was laughing so hard, I'm not sure
which. The number was about the sexual subtext in The King and I; we did
"Shall We Boink?" to the tune of "Shall
We Dance?" I liked that it was all about
sex but we used the silly, sophomoric
word "boink" instead of something
more explicit. I had realized that we
could put the f-word into the show fifteen times and get fifteen laughs, but
they'd be cheap laughs. (Years later, I saw an old Groucho Marx interview in which
he said exactly the same thing.)

Later in the '96 edition, we added a Titanic number. That was such a spoofable
musical. It had an elaborate opening sequence with the whole cast singing about the
ship, except there was no ship onstage. Not even a tiny part of it. So I wrote a parody
of the song "Ship of Dreams," called "Ship of Air."

We never got around to Steel Pier, because it closed so quickly. It had become
clear to us that you really can't spoof the quick-closing flops-not only because it's
mean to kick people when they're down, but also because our audience needs to have seen a show, or at least have read
and heard a lot about it, in order for
us to spoof it. Maybe the one exception is when something is a huge hit in
London and then flops on Broadway,
but I don't think that has happened
for a long time. (Of course, the best
type of show for us to target is a flop
that runs for a while, like The Little
Mermaid ...)

Christine Pedi, Bryan Batt, Donna English, and Tom Plotkin go
down on the Titanic.

During this period, Forbidden
Broadway became a veritable parade of
Alvin Colt's costumes. I'll never forget
what Alvin came up with for the Julie
Andrews number: Julie would come out
in her robe for "Le Jazz I-lot," but under
that was her Mary Poppins costume,
and under that was her Victor/Victoria
tux with tails. It was brilliant work on
Alvin's part. With this great artist now
a more vital part of our mischievous
crew, we were all set for the next stage
in Forbidden Broadway's evolution.