For the Love of Ash (16 page)

It used to be dark brown, but since spending so much time outside with Ash, it had turned auburn, with hints of red from the rays of the sun lightening it. I liked the change.
 

I put on simple makeup. I lined my top lid with black liquid liner so it would stay on in the hot club. I had some old mascara that I never used in the top drawer, and I widened my eyes in the mirror, trying to flick the brush on my lashes.

But it was a disaster. I was completely out of practice, and it was a lot embarrassing. I didn't realize how much I had lost. After I blinked a few times, I looked at myself and saw only a raccoon. The black had seeped onto my bottom lid, my lashes streaking lines on my skin. I wet a paper towel in the sink and dabbed it under my eyes, cleaning off the black stains.

Finally when I cleaned myself up, I stared in the mirror. My green eyes did pop more when I wore dark makeup. It was the hassle and added preparation time that I didn't like. Plus, this shit was expensive.

My face was really pale. Blush would brighten me up, but I didn't have it anymore. I looked a little washed out despite the great color of my hair. It must be lack of sleep and added stress of the new school year.
 

There wasn't much more I could do, so I shut the light off to the bathroom and trekked downstairs. I saw June and Asher, both sitting at the kitchen table. Asher was eating whatever June had made, and he looked contented.
 

"No," June said the second she saw me. I looked down at myself and then back up at her. "Please, friend, tell her how wrong this looks." She pointedly stared at Ash, and he looked over his shoulder at me and shook his head side to side.

"What's wrong with this?" I asked as I walked over to the fridge and pulled out the orange juice. I poured myself a cup and drank it, needing the sugar rush.
 

There was a pot on the stove with a golden substance in it. I dipped my finger in and tasted cheese. But it wasn't like Pepperidge Farm's goldfish mac and cheese that I bought regularly; it was spiraled noodles with creamy cheese.
 

"Come on." June grabbed my hand and dragged me up the stairs to my bedroom. Asher giggled and ran after us, the bowl of mac and cheese in his hand.
 

She forced me down on the bed and propped me up. Ash jumped up next to me, and I rolled my eyes at him. He thought the entire thing was hilarious as he laughed between bites, his soft giggle so fucking beautiful.
 

June went into my closet and started throwing things around over her shoulder. I hated messes, and this girl was destroying my organized room. She pulled out three dresses, held them up in front of her, and then nodded.
 

She grabbed my arm and lifted me up off the bed. She dragged me into the hallway and then shoved me into the bathroom and said, "Fashion show."

I grumbled as I shut the door. June was getting way too bossy. I stepped out of my jeans and tank and threw on the first dress. It was way too short, ending at my upper thigh. I knew that if I bent over, it would expose my entire ass.
 

But it was flattering at least. It hugged my hips and made my legs look long. But it was fire engine red, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to attract that much attention. Even in my prime college years, I wasn't an attention whore. It was just too flashy for me.

Sighing, I stepped into the hall and yelled that I was ready with outfit one. June immediately frowned when she saw me. Asher just stood behind the door, wrinkling his nose.

"You look good, but it's not really you." I nodded and turned around, walking back into the bathroom. I tugged it over my head and pulled up the next two. They were both black, which I liked.
 

One had a low front, and the other had a low back. I didn't have large boobs, so I figured the low back one would look better on me. I tried on that one first, in hopes that I wouldn't have to do the next. I was tired enough as it was. This constant changing was just bringing me down a notch.

When I stepped into the hallway, June was already there. She nodded as I spun around, my arms out to my sides. I felt confident in the dress, slim but curvy, sexy but downplayed. It was me.

"That's the one," she muttered, nodding. "Now for the shoes."
 

She went back into the bedroom, and I gathered all the clothes I wasn't going to wear from the bathroom in a heap in my arms. I went back into the bedroom and threw them on the ground with the others. I would clean everything another day.
 

"What do you think?" I asked Ash as I sat on the bed. Asher had finished his food. He was now lying in my bed with my 36 inch TV turned to Nickelodeon.
 

"Good," he answered without even looking. I smiled and turned to see June with her butt in the air as she rummaged through my closet on all fours. I wanted to take a picture to use as blackmail down the road, but I didn't want to upset her.
 

June shoved my foot into what felt like over twenty pairs of shoes until finally she gave me the ones off her own feet. They were gray booties that ended right at my ankle. There was a three inch heel that brought me to about 5'7''.
 

I watched June try on a pair of my knee high boots, smile, and then look up at me. I felt like her personal Barbie doll. She seemed to be happy with my hair as she touched my head and moved the strands around.
 

She shoved me out of the bedroom for no reason at all, and I banged on the bedroom door. I demanded entry, but I could hear them both giggling from the other side. She had won Ash over. Damn her. I was in a two on one situation here.

"Now introducing: the pretty, sophisticated, responsible girl, Maggie!" The door swung open, and I decided to have fun with it. I put my hand on my hip and swung my other arm in a circle as I cat-walked towards Asher who was clutching his stomach with laughter.

I walked to the bed and spun around, hitting a pose and bowing my head. I glared at Asher with my model face and then spun around again, hitting another pose. And then I tackled him.
 

I scooped the little boy into my arms and started tickling his sides. He was begging me to stop but when I did, he begged me to keep going. He was hilarious. I had to stop because I couldn't breathe.
 

I felt like I was sixteen again, carefree as I got ready for prom. Of course, minus the whole losing my virginity thing. I'd prefer not to remember that night. Also minus the whole getting drunk and throwing up in a bush outside of the school thing.
 

"Let's go wait for Lisa," I said as I hopped off the bed.

Ash and June followed me down the stairs and we sat in the living room as we waited for Lisa to get here. I looked over Asher's head and caught June's gaze. She smiled at me, nodding like she knew this was a good idea, and I rolled my eyes but nodded too. I had to agree.

Lisa got here right on time. It was eight o'clock, so she only had to entertain Ash for an hour before he went to bed. Truthfully, I didn't mind if they had fun and stayed up late. As long as he was happy, I was okay with everything else. I grabbed my small purse from upstairs, and when I came back down, Ash was lying in the crease of the couch, his thumb in his mouth.

"I love you," I told him as I bent down and kissed him on the cheek.

"I love you, too." His voice was already sleepy, so I knew I wouldn't be missing much. It made me feel so much better leaving when I knew he would be asleep the whole time.
 

"Goodnight, baby. Be good." I kissed his forehead and then walked to the door with June behind me.
 

"I'll pick him up at your place, okay?"
 

"Sounds great, Maggie. I'll make sure my dad leaves the door open." Asher perked up when he heard that he was going to Lisa's. I smiled as June and I left the house.
 

We hopped in June's car, which was great because I could actually relax. I knew I was going to have a drink or two. It was going to be weird, since I hadn't had a single sip of alcohol since the funeral. But my day had been lucky so far, and I was banking on tonight being a good one.
 

Chapter Sixteen

Luke

Father left at noon, and on my way home from work, I grabbed my bags from Lindsay's and drove to the house. It was home, but at the same time, it wasn't. I didn't miss my bed or anything warm and fuzzy like that. It was just easier than imposing on my older sister. There was less guilt involved.

"Yo!" Liam said as I walked in the door. He walked over and high-fived me before focusing back on the DS in his hand. He was a video game junkie, so I expected nothing less.

I ran up the many stairs to my bedroom and threw my duffel in the corner. I heard my phone vibrating from one of the pockets, so I pulled it out and shoved it between my shoulder and ear.

"What's up?"

"New bar opening, will you go with me and Lauren? Please," she whined into the earpiece.

"Aren't you here somewhere?" I asked, stepping into the hallway. I could've sworn I could hear her voice from her room two doors down.
 

"You're at Mom's?" She stepped into the hall and saw me. She ended the call and then walked over to me. "So, you coming or what?"
 

"I guess. Why is Lauren coming?"

"'Cause she's our sister who we love."

"We might as well invite Lisa then if this is a family outing." I rolled my eyes and walked back into my bedroom.
 

"Lisa's only twenty, you moron." Lindsay flopped onto my bed as I pulled my nice shirts out of the duffel bag and hung them on hangers. I'd leave them in the laundry room for Cora to clean and steam later.
 

"Are you going out with Maggie tonight?" Lilly asked as she walked into my room. She immediately saw Lindsay on the bed and covered her mouth. And then, of course, she laughed.
 

"Who the fuck is Maggie?" Lindsay asked as she sat up, her elbows digging into the bed. Lilly ran over and jumped on the bed and sat next to Linds. It appeared my room was being taken over.
 

"Well, I won't be telling you anything anymore," I told Lilly jokingly.

"Maggie is this really beautiful woman who Luke loves."

"You love her?" Lindsay yelled, her voice getting shriller and shriller.

"No! Jesus." I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. "She's just a girl from one of my classes who I have an interest in."

"But I helped him get a date with her!"

"Good job," Lindsay said as she high-fived Lilly.

"What is it with this family and high-fiving?" I mostly asked myself. Both girls shared a glance, and then before I could flee, they attacked me, hugging me in a tight squeeze as they held hands around me.
 

"You're driving, Luke. Be ready at eight."

"Where are you guys going?" Lilly asked, her voice hurt like she was being left out.

"New bar. Sorry, sis. Only four more years until you can come along."

"Please, I already drink. It's not a big deal."

"You drink?" I exclaimed, heated.

"Luke," Linds warned tilting her head and glaring.

"I'm seventeen, Luke. I'm not a baby like Liam. I told you about my boyfriends. I'm mature. I'm practically an adult even though I don't turn eighteen for another two months."

"Have you had sex?" Linds asked, and I inwardly groaned. I stepped back into the closet and wished that it would eat me alive. I did not want to be here for this conversation.

"It's not your business."

"That's a yes," Linds said, shaking her head in disappointment, even though I'm fairly certain she was younger than Lilly when she first had sex. She was a straight A student on two varsity sports teams, but I heard rumors since we were in high school for two years together.

"Please. Just leave. Both of you. I shouldn't be here." I shut my eyes as I walked forward and pushed them through the room. I thought I wanted to know more about Lilly, but I was wrong. I'd rather be completely ignorant about what she did. They were right about ignorance—bliss.
 

"Hey!" Lilly yelled as I shut the door on their faces. I turned and rested my back against it, sighing as I tried to relax.

My bedroom was dark even though the blinds were open and it was still light outside. I decided to text Maggie even though my gut told me she wouldn't respond. I just wanted to see her words, envision her voice.

Me
: Let's go on a date tonight.

Maggie:
I'm glad you're no longer speaking in code.

Maggie:
But no. I'm busy.

Me:
You promised my baby sister.

Maggie:
You exploited her. Foul on you.
 

Me
: I'll give you that.

Maggie:
I've got to go. June's coming over.

Me:
Are you going out tonight?

Maggie:
None of your business…

Me:
So she does have a life. Good to know.