For the Love of Ash (11 page)

"What?" he asked, tilting his head to the side and rolling his green eyes. I could tell he was over these heavy conversations. I settled him on my lap and ran my fingernails up and down his back in his favorite way. The boy loved tickles.

"Your coach wants to move you up to U12," I said, staring at him, wanting to see the look on his face. Of course, his eyes widened in disbelief, but I nodded my head so he knew I was serious.

"What'd you say?"
 

"I said we'd talk about it. There's checking. I don't know if you're ready for that." I didn't want to put him down. But the thought of him getting hit by other, bigger, boys made my palms sweat.

"I'm ready, I swear! I can do it!" He jumped off of me and spun in a circle through the small kitchen. He danced like I'd never seen him dance before, skipping and playing and twirling around.
 

"Are you sure? It's a big commitment. You'll have a game every weekend."

"I swear, I'm ready. Call him now! Please, please, please!" Asher leaped his way into the living room and bent down, grabbing my cheap cellphone from my bag and tossing it towards me. I couldn't help but laugh at his excitement.
 

"You sure?"
 

"I'm positive."

"If your grades start dropping, I will pull you from the team. I'm not joking."

"I know!" He furrowed his brow and glared at me, pursing his lips.

"If you get hurt, I'll pull you, too. These are going to be big boys."

"I know!" He glared at me harder, his eyes just narrowed slits, begging me to stop talking.
 

I smiled. "Get my bag."

He quickly retrieved it and set in front of me on the table. I fished the business card out of the outer pocket and dialed the number on the coach's card.
 

The call was fast. He was very excited to have Asher try out his team. I could hear a crying baby in the background, wailing as a woman chattered. He called me a Mrs. again, which was annoying, but I let it go because the smile on Asher's face was contagious.
 

I hung up the phone and told Asher the big news. He reached down and took my hands in his, spinning us in a circle like playing ring-around-the-rosy in the kitchen. He was singing the song as we skipped and sashayed around our small place, laughing together.

I dove into the freezer and pulled out a carton of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice-cream. I didn't even bother getting out the bowls. Instead, I grabbed two spoons, and Asher and I each got five bites before I put it away.

Asher scurried into the living room as I cleaned up the kitchen. When I looked at the clock on the wall, I saw that it was ten. It was way past time for Asher to go to bed, and I'm sure he knew it.

He was watching Nick at Night, his eyes dangerously close to falling shut. I couldn't carry him up today, too tired from the day of constant movement, so I shook him awake.

"Come on. Let's head up." I reached down and took both of his hands, lifting him off the couch. He shuffled up the stairs while I followed behind, making sure he went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. When I saw that he was, I went to my room and changed into pajamas.
 

I found him standing in front of his closet, not moving at all. Laughing, I grabbed his clothes from his dresser and did all the work. He was a complete zombie, nearly asleep while standing. I pulled his shirt off and put pajamas on him.
 

I walked him to his bed, and he fell down, face-first into the stack of pillows. He laughed and scooted across the small bed to the other side, closest to the window. He patted the space beside him, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to get in. I was exhausted but still had work to do.
 

But I crawled in anyway, knowing it was what he wanted. I pulled the covers over the both of us. He was already asleep when I faced him. And then I followed, his soft breaths soothing.
 

Chapter Ten

Maggie

"Hey, hey, hey!" June's voice was electric as I walked into class the next day. I found a seat next to her, a desk back from the very first day of classes. I was right next to the door. I smiled at her while I took a notebook out of my bag and prepared for class.
 

"What are you doing this weekend?"

"I'm busy," I responded. I didn't want to have to explain my situation. I didn't want to have to say why I didn't go out anymore. Not many people could understand why a twenty-three year old couldn't have fun.
 

"Liar. You should come with me," she said, perking up more and more to the idea. She leaned over the center aisle, tapping her finger on my desk. "Seriously, I don't have many friends. I like you. I think we should hang out."
 

"I really can't. I have a lot going on." I pretended to write something down on the paper, hoping that she'd drop her nagging. I realized my other hand was pinching the lower hem of my navy blue v-neck tee.
 

"Listen, I get it. You've got your brother and all—"

"Excuse me?"

"Shit, sorry." June leaned back, putting as much distance between us as possible. The draw together expression on her face told me that she knew more than she was letting on.

"How do you know about him?"

"It's public knowledge. You
do
realize we live in a small ass town."

"You know about my parents?" I asked her, praying that she didn't. They were terrible people. I didn't even want to be associated with them, but in situations like this, it was impossible to get away.

"Yeah…" she answered, but it wasn't as sure as before.
 

"Fuck," I muttered, gathering my things before storming out of the class. I ran towards the doors, wanting to get fresh air. But if I was honest with myself, I just needed a smoke. It was impossible to run from my problems.

I sat down on the first bench I could find and lit up fast, savoring the high of the first drag. I realized as I was sitting there that I probably just screwed up the first possible friend I could've had.
 

"Do you want me to go?" I looked up and saw June standing to the side of me. Her bag was in her hand, and I knew that she followed me from class, knowing that we'd be skipping.
 

"No. I'm sorry," I told her, wanting to apologize for my erratic behavior. I shook my head, unsure of what to say to her. I didn't want to divulge my life story, but I didn't want to turn her off either. "I just hate talking about them. I hoped I could just ignore that they ever existed."

"I get it. I hate my parents, too." Silence enveloped me, strangling me so much that I couldn't breathe. Thank God, June spoke up, cutting the tension. "I still want you to come out with me. You kind of owe me now." She laughed under her breath and leveled me with a cutting glare.

One night out shouldn't hurt.
 

"So, you smoke?" June asked as I tried to blow the smoke away from her. The air was light today, no breeze at all. However, there was an underlying chill that startled the green leaves and crept up on me, reminding me that fall was on its way.

"Unfortunately," I growled. "I quit when I took over custody of Asher. But with all the stress, I ended up getting back into it. It's a bad habit."

"Will you tell me about your situation?"

"I don't really know what there is to say. Asher and I live together. I'm basically his mother, between being there for him and paying for everything. Technically I have custody of him and adopted him. It's not an easy job, and not one I was ready for when my parents died, but I would never trade it in. He's the best kid around. He deserved more than my parents anyway."

"Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I had different parents."

"What do you mean?" I asked her, flicking my cigarette butt. I watched it arc and land beside an evergreen bush.
 

"My parents are assholes. If I had a set of understanding, compassionate people, maybe I would have turned out differently."

"That's probably true," I said, looking across the bench at her. She had a look of sorrow in her eyes. "You can't pick your family."

"'Ain't that the truth."

"Well, if it matters, I think you turned out just fine."

"Thanks, pal!" she joked, punching my shoulder.
 

"I won't be able to go out with you much. I'm not a very good friend." I felt like she deserved a fair warning. She had to understand that Asher was first in my life and everything else was secondary.
 

"You're doing just fine." She smiled at me, and it was so genuine that I felt myself tearing up. I reached into my bag and grabbed a cigarette, lighting up again. I guessed it was going to be a chain-smoking kind of day.
 

June laid back on the bench, her legs dangling off one side and her head against the hard green plastic. I just sat there, watching nothing and everything at the same time.
 

After a few minutes and a sore butt, I laid the same way that she was. My long dark hair spilled over the side of the bench. It was much more comfortable this way. Plus we had an hour to kill before my next class.

"Uh oh, here comes Mr. Sexy," June whispered as she sat up straight on the bench. Her hands immediately shot to her head. She quickly fixed her short hair, patting it and stroking it down. She crossed her legs at the ankles and laid her hands over one another.

"Seriously?" I drawled.

I didn't bother sitting up. Instead, I looked over to get a glimpse of whoever she was talking about. When I saw him, I swear my jaw dropped. But I didn't want to let him know that I was ogling him.
 

He sauntered over, swagger dripping from him like sweat. It annoyed me how attracted to him I was. I didn't want to be. I couldn't afford it anyway. I knew what came with guys like him. Wreckage. And I needed to focus on Asher one hundred percent. I couldn't slip up.
 

"Hey, June," he said as he stopped in front of us. As I looked at him upside-down, I realized that I was still sprawled out, lying on the bench. I sat up fast and my head was slow to the taking. The blood rushed into my brain, my sight spotting, but after a second, I was back to normal. I tried to fix my shirt so it covered my midriff, but I ended up just playing with the frayed hem.
 

"What's up, Lukey? It's early for you to be here," June said. She had on her sexy voice, batting her eyelashes and arching her back so her breasts were perking.
 

"You memorizing my schedule again, June?" Luke's gray eyes seemed to entrance June. I couldn't help but scoff at the whole thing. "Find something funny, Sunny?" he asked, rhyming. I rolled my eyes at his whole theatrical shit.
 

"Just you and your egotistical ways."
 

"You two know each other?" June asked, her brows crinkling together.

"Hardly," I answered.

"Looks like you left quite the impression on my new best friend here." June smiled and put her arm around me, tugging me close to her.
 

"Hardly." He mirrored my words, with added snark.
 

"He made me say I liked sausage in my mouth!" I eyed him with daggers, but June just laughed. I wanted her to take my side, but instead she laughed more, almost crying. Luke just smirked and chuckled. His laugh was beautifully raspy.
 

"Hey, you said it." Luke sat on the bench across from us. It was good though because there was a solid five feet of pavement between us. He sat with his knees spread apart, his elbows resting on them. His gray shirt clung to his chest, matching his eyes. His jeans were loose, yet tight in the right areas—like his butt.
 

"You made me!" I yelled back to him, pointing my finger. "And you dared me to do it."

"So, Asher told me he's on a U12 hockey team. We're playing hockey in gym, and he's helping me lead the class. Is he actually on that team?" Luke asked, changing the subject dramatically. I felt like I had been slapped in the face—a verbal whiplash.

"Don't talk about him like you know him," I snipped out, not wanting Luke and my brother to collide. They were completely separate worlds. Bottom line.