For His Trust (5 page)

“No, you’re not all right, or no, you don’t want to go back to the house?”

“Both.”

“What’s wrong? Is it something to do with Red? Is it about Kane coming to the wedding? I can tell him not to, Nicole. If it really freaks you out that much…”

Nicole began laughing again, wiping the tears from her eyes. “It’s not about Kane at all.” She sniffled. “I wish that were all it was. Something as silly as a wedding invitation.”

Danielle’s expression became grave. “You’re not…sick or something, are you?”

“No. It’s not like that.”

“Come on. I told you about my prenup drama, the least you can do is tell me what’s going on that’s got you so upset.”

Nicole swallowed. “I—I was pregnant and I had a miscarriage.”

Danielle just stared at her. “Oh, Nicole. I had no idea.”

“I wanted to keep it quiet for a little while, obviously. It was early in the pregnancy.”

“And Red knew?”

Nicole nodded. Felt her eyes fill up for the millionth time. She wiped the tears away with her sleeve. “He knew and he wanted the baby. We were so excited.”

Danielle sat up. “Nicole, I’m so sorry for your loss. Can I give you a hug?”

“Sure.”

The two friends hugged, and Nicole realized that it actually helped a little bit.

She still felt the emptiness and the sadness and all of it—but having someone genuinely empathize with her, someone besides Red—made a difference.

They sat in silence for a long time and ate and drank wine. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence though.

“I’m really glad you told me,” Danielle said. “You know, I’m so proud to call you my friend and I want to be here for you if you need me.”

“Thanks,” Nicole said. “You’re an awesome friend to me. And I want to be a better friend to you too. I know I always say that…”

Danielle laughed. “You do! It’s true. But I don’t need you to anything different, Nic. You’re too hard on yourself.”

“I want the four of us to get together,” Nicole told her. “You’re right that it’s ridiculous for Red and Kane to be at one another’s throats because of business. It’s not like Kane tried to have Red assassinated or something. They’re both rich guys who had competing businesses and so it got a little bit rough.”

“Exactly,” Danielle said, excited now. “It reminds me of two star baseball players on different teams. They have a rivalry but they can still be friends off season, right?”

“Right,” Nicole said. “I’m not sure that Red sees it that way, but I’ll work on him.”

“Speaking of Red,” Danielle said, “I think he’s home.” She pointed to the private road, which was visible in the near distance.

Nicole looked and saw that he was indeed driving back to the house. “I guess that’s my cue,” she sighed.

“You’re really brave,” Danielle told her.

“No, I’m not,” Nicole replied. “That’s the problem.”

They gathered their things and set off for home. It was only a few minutes walk and neither of them said much. It was enough to just be together and for Nicole to know that Danielle understood what she was going through and hadn’t tried to talk her out of being sad about it.

When they arrived home, Red was already inside. They found him in the foyer, standing and looking at his phone. When he saw Nicole, his face lit up with a huge smile.

“Come here,” he said, and scooped her into his arms, hugging her tightly and kissing her on the head. “How are you doing?” he said softly.

“Good,” she said, giving him a smile to let him know she meant it.

“Hey Danielle,” he said, nodding to Danielle, who stood awkwardly in the entrance to the foyer.

“Hey,” she said, giving a small wave.

Red looked at the blanket and cooler. “What’s with the stuff? You two go camping?”

“Picnic,” Nicole said. “We had some much needed wine and discussed the fact that it’s silly for you and Kane to hate each other so much.”

Red gave her a look. “You had too much wine, maybe.”

“We should all get together. I promised Danielle we would.”

Red’s jaw tightened. “You’re kind of putting me on the spot here.”

“Actually, it’s really not a big deal,” Danielle said. “So don’t feel put on the spot.

Nicole and I were just having some girl talk, you know how it is.”

“Not really,” Red replied.

“Well, sometimes girls can get chatty and silly, especially when wine is involved.”

Red nodded. “So, I actually wanted to show Nicole the new office space I found in Hartford. You’re welcome to come with us, Danielle.”

Nicole looked at him. “You found something?”

He grinned. “And it’s perfect. I really want to sign a contract ASAP but I need to show my partner first.”

“Wait, you guys are business partners now?” Danielle said.

“I didn’t talk to her about the new company,” Nicole replied quietly. She was surprised that Red would openly discuss it in front of her, knowing she might tell Kane.

But he seemed totally unconcerned about that. “We’re going to start a business,”

he said, “and I need Nicole’s approval for every step we take.” He grabbed Nicole’s hand and squeezed it. “Which is why I really want to drag her to this building. I know she’s going to love it.”

“I don’t know if I’m up to it right now,” Nicole said. She was already feeling a slight comedown from her wine buzz.

“I should go, anyway,” Danielle told them. “My driver’s been waiting and I told Kane I’d be back for dinner.”

“You sure?” Red asked her. “You’re welcome to hang with us.”

“I’m sure.” Danielle came and gave Nicole another tight squeeze. “It was great seeing you and catching up,” she said softly. “Call me anytime.”

“Of course,” Nicole told her. “And thanks for always being there.”

Danielle nodded and waved goodbye to Red, and then she left. They stood at the front door and watched her get in her limousine and ride off.

“Did you have a nice time?” Red asked, putting a hand on Nicole’s back and gently rubbing.

“Yes, actually. I was pretty emotional though.”

He turned and looked at her. “You have every right to be emotional.”

She nodded, wanting to cry yet again. But this time she was able to not cry for once. Maybe that was progress. “You really want to show me the new space?”

“I really do,” he said.

“Okay then. I’m game.”

They left the house immediately and got in Red’s car, setting off down the private way as the sun started to dip in the sky.

Red asked her about Danielle, and Nicole told him about the prenuptial agreement and how Danielle felt weird about it.

“Most very wealthy people should have an agreement like that when they marry,”

he said.

“She got really sad when I told her that you’ve never asked me to sign anything.”

Red just shrugged. “Maybe I’m a hopeless romantic, but I don’t have any urge to protect myself financially when it comes to you. I never want to lose you, but if somehow I was dumb enough to screw this up—then I want you to get whatever you need and then some.”

Nicole looked at him. “Well of course you’re saying that now. Most people don’t feel so charitable by the time they’re getting divorced.”

“Anyway, it’s a silly topic because you and I are never going down that road, Nicole. You’re stuck with me now.”

“I love that I’m stuck with you,” she said, and then glanced at a passing sign.

“What I’m not sure about, is being stuck in this car right now. I don’t see any signs for Hartford.”

“It’s not exactly in Hartford,” Red replied.

“I thought that’s where you went to look.”

“Yeah, it was. But I kind of stumbled across an even more perfect place. You’ll see.” He gave her an enigmatic smile.

They kept driving and the sun continued its descent in the sky. Soon, the horizon was turning a marvelous shade of pink and the view was beautiful.

Nicole couldn’t help but think how much more she’d have appreciated this moment if she could touch her belly and know that her child was there, growing inside of her, experiencing this right along her.

And then they were getting off the highway and Red was perking up—Nicole could tell they were very close to wherever he planned to take her.

As they went down a narrow street, she noticed that they were heading towards the ocean. She could see the water briefly as they crested a hill, and then it disappeared again behind the houses as they drove down the hill again.

“Red, where the heck are you taking me?” she asked. “Is there actually an office building here?”

“Just be patient,” he told her.

Not much longer after that, they parked across from the beach in a nearly empty lot. The entire street beside the beachfront was quiet, although cars passed by on occasion.

Red started to get out of the car.

“This is it?” she asked, incredulous.

“Come on, don’t ask so many questions,” he laughed.

They both got out and Red came around her side, throwing his arm over her shoulders and squeezing her close to his warm body.

“It’s beautiful here,” she marveled. The breeze from the water was exquisite, and the sunset was lighting up the sky with brilliant shades of purple and pink. Nicole felt tears come to her eyes for no particular reason.

“I want you to walk across the street, take off your sandals, and go wait for me by the water,” he said. “Okay?”

She turned and looked him in the eye. “Red Jameson. Tell me what the heck is going on immediately.”

He just smiled again. “All will be revealed.”

“Fine.” She pretended to be annoyed but inside she was actually enjoying this. It was a nice diversion and she wanted to see what he’d come up with. Maybe he wanted to have dinner on the beach or something fun.

So Nicole took off her sandals and walked across the street to the beach, down the small path that bridged the street and the beach itself. Once she felt the sand between her toes, she knew that Red had somehow picked the right place to bring her this afternoon.

She took a deep breath, looking out at the ocean as the waves rolled into the shore.

The water was fairly calm, and Nicole stood at the edge and let the waves come in and bring the water up over her feet. It was chilly and sent shivers up her spine. She hugged herself, smiling and thinking about just how right this all was—the ocean, the sky—the expansiveness of this place.

Somehow, out here, she knew they weren’t alone in this. She knew that something here was taking care of them.

Nicole wasn’t religious—her parents had been casual churchgoers at best, and none of her spotty religious upbringing had quite stuck. But in this moment, she could feel some kind of presence out here, on this beach, with her.

“Hey,” Red spoke from behind her.

Nicole turned and saw that he was holding two large paper lanterns in each hand.

They were both bright orange in color, and fairly large.

“What are those for?” she asked, but already a huge sensation was blooming in her chest. She felt afraid but excited all at once.

Red’s eyes were suddenly wet. He swallowed and she saw that he was having a little trouble getting the words out. Nicole had never seen him like this before.

“I didn’t go to look at offices today. Well, I did, but I couldn’t be bothered to stick around. I felt like I had to do something—I was practically jumping out of my skin.” His voice was husky and rough with emotion.

Nicole nodded and wiped at her eyes. “You found this place instead?”

“I thought we could have a ceremony for our baby,” he whispered. “I need something and I thought maybe you do too.”

“Yeah. I do.” She smiled. She thought that looking at him now, she’d never love him more than she did right this very moment. He was so vulnerable, but also perhaps the strongest he’d ever been. His dark eyes were filled with sadness and caring and she felt completely connected to him.

“Here,” he said, putting the lanterns down on the sandy beach and kneeling. “I got some candles. When we light them, the candle heats the air inside the lantern and makes it lift—“

“Like a hot air balloon,” Nicole said.

“Exactly.” He smiled up at her.

She walked over to where he was kneeling and Nicole knelt down beside him.

“They’re beautiful,” she told him.

“Just like our baby’s spirit,” he managed to choke out.

Red handed her a lighter and a small candle, which she lit. He then did the same, and then helped her affix her candle within her lamp. He placed his candle in his own lamp and then they each stood and held the glowing yellow lanterns, waiting.

“You want to say something, Nicole?” he asked. “Before we send them off?”

She sighed. “I don’t want to cry again.”

“It’s okay to cry. It’s just me and you here.”

“I just want to thank you for being the most amazing man I’ve ever known, and for doing this for us. And I want to say that we’re never going to forget our little one who never got a chance. But I wanted to say…” she couldn’t finish.

“You’ll always be in our hearts,” Red finished for her.

And then they released their lanterns into the air. Watching them float up into the sky, Nicole suddenly felt the burden lifting from her. Maybe it was just a silly ceremony, and a made up one at that, but somehow it eased her mind.

She knew that although they would move on from this, they wouldn’t ever forget that there had once been a child—a child that had been conceived by the two of them—

who would never get the chance to experience the life it deserved. No matter that the unborn child had been so tiny and new that it had barely registered on a sonogram—to Nicole, every moment that she’d known her baby existed had been a miracle and she never wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened.

So the two of them stood hand in hand and watched their lanterns rising and rising and rising, until they were swallowed up by the deep blue sky.

And then Nicole and Red stayed and watched the sun set, and the sky was on fire with color.

***

The next day, Nicole informed Red that she did, in fact, want to have a

“traditional” wedding.

“That’s what I figured,” he said, as they walked through the empty floor of an office building in downtown Hartford.