Following Your Heart (12 page)

“You're finally back with my baby!” she exclaimed. “I worried that you had all disappeared and gone to heaven.”

“
Mamm
said it would be late in the afternoon before we made it back,” Susan reminded her.

“I know,” Teresa said, “but hearing it said and waiting all alone in the house are two different things.”

“Here you go!” Susan said, handing Samuel over.

Teresa took him, her eyes fixed on Samuel's face. “Are you a little Amish boy already? Did you hear all the sermons?”

“I think he's mostly tired of cow's milk,” Susan said as Samuel's face wrinkled up again.

“Oh, my little darling,” Teresa comforted as she walked back to the house with him. Once inside, Teresa and Samuel disappeared upstairs.

Mamm
came in the door behind Susan and sat on the couch. “Miriam said she might be coming over this afternoon,” she said. “I told her to ask you in case you were too tired.”

“I'm fine,
Mamm
,” Susan said. “And I think more of the family might be coming.”

“At least something is normal around here for a change.”
Mamm
sighed. “This turmoil is getting to be too much for me in my old age.”

“You mean keeping Teresa here?” Susan asked, sitting down beside her.

“It's not just that,”
Mamm
said, staring off into the distance. “It's going against the ministers' wishes. That's what troubles me the most. I can't live long like this, knowing they're opposed to what we're doing.”

“But
Mamm
!”

“I know how you feel, Susan. But think about how we feel,”
Mamm
said. “
Daett
and I are both older, and we are supposed to be examples for the younger people. And here we have a girl in the house who is not even allowed to attend our services. In my wildest dreams I would never have thought we'd be in this position.”

“But it's not Teresa's fault,” Susan protested. “She had Samuel because that's the way she was raised.”

“I know, Susan,”
Mamm
agreed. “But this is not the way
we
were raised. How much of Teresa's thinking has already influenced you? I have to wonder sometimes. Surely you saw Thomas making eyes at you today. The boy couldn't get enough of looking at you. Why are you holding back on him?
Yah
, he made a mistake, but he's such an upstanding young man and exactly who your
daett
wants to take over the farm.”

“Thomas doesn't even know how to farm,
Mamm
,” Susan countered.

“But the boy is willing to learn,”
Mamm
said. “And it would work out nicely in the next year or so. Menno can teach him everything he knows, all while we're living in our
dawdy haus
.”

“You don't have a
dawdy haus
built yet,” Susan pointed out.

“That can be done right quick,”
Mamm
said. “It can go up this spring in plenty of time for the wedding.”

“I'm not doing it,
Mamm
,” Susan said. “I don't love Thomas.”

“You used to, Susan,”
Mamm
said. “You know you did.”
Mamm
seemed to sink deep into the couch.

Susan said nothing. There was nothing she could say that would convince her
mamm
. A moment later there was banging in the washroom, and a few minutes later Menno stood in the kitchen doorway.

“I think a good long nap would do you both wonders,”
Daett
said, looking down at them.

Mamm
groaned while sitting up straight.

“You're tired,”
Daett
said, coming over to sit on the other side of the couch. Susan got up as he wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulder. “Anna, I know it's difficult, but we must do what we can to help the girl, even if it's hard. I'll try to do my part if you can stick it out.”

She listened to their soft voices rising and falling in the living room,
Daett
's deep tones and
Mamm
's lighter ones running into each other.

Hopefully Teresa would stay upstairs with Samuel while they talked about her.
Daett
would win in the end, persuading
Mamm
to continue on. It was best that Teresa know as little as possible about the difficulties
Mamm
and
Daett
went through for her and Samuel.

It was going to be hard enough for the girl to keep her spirits up as it was. She faced such changes. Not that long ago Samuel had been born, and then Teresa had left her home in Asbury Park and all that she had known for the unknown world of the Amish. Teresa thought she knew the Amish world, but had she ever been wrong. And yet Teresa carried on with a strength and courage which put them all to shame.

Susan reached for the popcorn maker in the top cabinet. Perhaps popcorn would cheer them all up. Something was needed; there was no question about that.

T
he late winter sun was setting. The last of the day's dim light seemed to hang from the clear sky outside the house. Deacon Ray lit a match, holding it up to the first of three lanterns before he opened the gas valve. With a soft burst of sound, light filled the room. He grabbed the lantern and hung it from the nail in the kitchen ceiling. The young folks' supper before the Sunday night hymn singing had started ten minutes ago.

Near the hiss of the lantern, Thomas stood behind his good friend James, Deacon Ray's son. They were standing in the line of boys winding their way past the food table. Thomas took a plate from the stack and shoveled on a large helping of mashed potatoes. He moved down the line, adding a generous pour of gravy from the dipper.

“Hungry tonight are we?” James asked with a laugh.

“I've got to be ready for all that singing coming up,” Thomas answered.

“Ha!” James said. “You know that doesn't take much work. What you really need to get your strength up for is asking to take Susan home afterward and patching up all that mess you got yourself into.”

“Who told you to mind my business?” Thomas growled good-naturedly, taking a large piece of meat from the simmering pot on the table.

“Just trying to help,” James said, laughing again. “I thought you would have it all worked out by now. It sure looks to me like Susan came back home for something.”

“Well, it wasn't for me,” Thomas complained.

“Oh? So you've spoken with her?”

“Of course I have,” Thomas shot back. “Now, would you put your mind on something else?”

“I don't think Susan is here.” James glanced around.

“You don't know that for sure,” Thomas said, but he also looked around the room.

“You really should keep better track of her,” James teased.

“Just keep away from her,” Thomas warned.

“Hmm…I hadn't really thought of that,” James said. “Thanks for the idea since Susan seems to be so available now.”

Thomas glared at his friend.

“Come on, move!” James ordered, punching Thomas in the ribs. “I wouldn't steal your girl.”

Thomas stepped ahead. “If you're so anxious for a girl, you can have Eunice.”

James grinned and gave Thomas a shove toward the desserts.

“I'll get pie later,” Thomas said.

“If there's any left,” James warned. But he too passed up the pies and followed Thomas toward the benches set up in the living room. As they passed through the line of girls forming behind the boys, Eunice glanced at both of them, her eyes lingering on Thomas.

“Hey, Eunice was looking at you,” James teased when they'd seated themselves.

“Eunice you can have,” Thomas said, digging his spoon into his mashed potatoes.

“Eunice is a nice enough girl, so don't go knocking her,” James said out of the corner of his mouth.

“I didn't say she wasn't,” Thomas said. “She's just not for me. So you go ask her home.” When James didn't respond, Thomas continued. “What are you waiting for? You're not getting any younger, you know.”

“I'm not that old,” James retorted, “so don't start that on me.”

“You're old enough to be married,” Thomas said. “Instead, you've passed up a lot of
gut
chances. What happened with Rose from Geauga County?”

“It's none of your business,” James said. “Let's just say it didn't work out.”

“So there!” Thomas said. “A case in point. You really should think about Eunice. She's a nice girl.”

“Maybe I'm waiting for the
perfect
girl,” James said, his spoon stopping halfway to his mouth.

“You're going to have a mighty long wait,” Thomas said. “Susan's the closest to perfect and she's taken—by me. So you're left with the pickings, I'm afraid.”

James got a sober look on his face and leaned in close. “I guess you know that
Englisha
woman they have in their house isn't making things look
gut
for you,” he said. “She might even be part of your problem with Susan.”

“I know.” Thomas grunted. “I wish there was something I could do about it.”

“Maybe you should speak with Menno,” James offered. “He might be able to do something.
Daett
says the ministers aren't backing down from their stand about the girl.”

“Like Menno will listen to me,” Thomas said. “And Susan will barely let me in the house.”

James smiled. “You can talk with Menno in the barn, you know.”

“So why don't the ministers take a stronger stand?” Thomas asked. “They should ask the woman to leave and take her baby with her.”

James shrugged. “That does seem like the easy answer.
Daett
said they weren't going to take that step.”

“Why not?” Thomas asked.

“Something about trying to help the woman the best they could, but the truth is I don't know.
Daett
seems to be holding back on sharing for some reason.”

“Like that's going to stop Bishop Henry if he wants to move hard against the woman,” Thomas muttered.

“Well, they do have to have unity,” James offered. “I know that much from growing up with a deacon for a
daett
. Some of the ways of Amish ministers are mysterious, but that one's plain enough. They stick up for each other.”

Thomas grunted again. “I wish something could be done.”

“So why don't you think of something then?” James said. “There's always some way to do everything. Now, how about tying into some of that cherry pie back at the table?”

“I'm with you!” Thomas said, scraping the last of the gravy off his plate. As they moved across the crowded room, other boys were getting to their feet. A small line formed by the time they arrived back at the food table. James talked with a boy ahead of him, and Thomas stared out of the kitchen window at the falling darkness.

James could well be right, he figured. The
Englisha
girl might be having some influence on Susan. And he really needed this problem brought to some resolution, but how? As slow as things worked on the ministers' part, this could drag on all spring and well into summer.

The
Englisha
girl wasn't a church member, and if she faithfully stayed away from the services, there was little else which would be done. She might even win points for her obedience, and eventually gain acceptance among the people. All of which could take time. In the meantime Susan wasn't returning his attentions.

Ahead of him James pushed a large piece of cherry pie onto his plate, laughing at something the boy beside him was saying.

The
Englisha
girl needed to be married off, that was the solution, but how could that be done? She wasn't even a church member, and who would take her? There was already a child involved. If she were a widow, that wouldn't be a problem, but she wasn't a widow.