Following Bliss (The Quest series) (19 page)

As he popped the
bubbly, Shelby beamed. “We manifest very well together Mr. Tillman.”

“Indeed we do,”
Daniel replied, pouring the champagne in her glass. “Mom would be very proud of
us.”

“For finally
listening to her, yes.” Shelby said. Then, she said thoughtfully, “She hasn’t
been around lately—have you noticed that?”

“You know, I did
notice. During my session with Gabby, I realized that we hadn’t heard anything
from her since we visited her grave site.”

“Maybe she’s
moving on now that she got us on our path together?” Shelby asked.

“Yeah, sort of
like she did her job for us and now she needs to focus on her. That’s what I
was thinking, too. Maybe she’s getting ready to incarnate into another life. We’ll
have to pay attention to who amongst our friends ends up pregnant next! I’ll
miss her visits, not the in-person ones, of course,” Daniel said with a
chuckle. “But, I know we can call on her whenever we need her.”

“Cheers to
that,” Shelby said.

Daniel smiled
and raised his glass, adding a toast of his own. “To us and our new life
together. To my mother who made it all possible. And finally, to the Universe.
May it continue to bless us as we continue to follow the signs it sends.”

Chapter 11

Daniel and
Shelby had been living in their new home for a little over a month, when Shelby
noticed it. She was sitting in the living room working on a new line of jewelry
to promote for the New Year when it dawned on her—she hadn’t had her period
that month. Suddenly her cozy blue sofa didn’t feel so cozy. She had to check a
calendar—right away.

“Daniel…” Shelby
called out as she scurried from the living room to his office, her socks
causing her to slide as she rounded the corner. Their pseudo-Christmas tree, a
rosemary bush, still had lights on it, giving the house a warm, cozy glow.

“Whoa Shelb, you
in some kind of hurry?”

“Must. See.
Calendar.” Shelby feigned dramatic, but a knot was rising in her stomach. How
long had it been? Daniel had a huge wall calendar that he used to stay on track
with the timeline that Penguin had outlined for his three novels. She squinted
down to see the previous month. She had started on November 15—it was now
nearly New Year’s. Shelby shook her head.

Daniel leaned
in, noticing how concerned she was.

“What’s going on
baby?” He asked as he rubbed her back.

She looked at
him, her face red. Her mind was doing its analytical dance, calculating
days/numbers, probability of actually being pregnant, etc. All she could think
of was,
I have to talk to Kathryn.
With that, she and her sliding socks
ran back out to the living room where she promptly picked up her phone and
called Kathryn.

“You sure
everything’s okay?” Daniel called out after her.

“Mmm-hmm…” was
all Shelby could muster. She didn’t want to outright lie to him, but this
situation was going to need a girl intervention before she even broached the topic
with Daniel. They both wanted children…in the future. The fact that she was more
than 11 days late gave her a shocking wake-up call. She was definitely not ready
to have a baby.

The phone rang
and rang, and just when Shelby was sure she was getting exiled to voicemail,
Kathryn picked up the phone.

# # #

Daniel scratched
his head. It wasn’t like Shelby to be so dramatic and then not tell him what
was going on. It was not lost on him that she hadn’t
actually
answered
his question. He had tried leading her with the “you sure everything’s okay?”,
even though she had implied otherwise. Even so, Daniel was no dummy. A “mmm-hmmm”
was not a legit answer. But, whatever it was clearly needed Kathryn’s input
before he was granted access to it. He sighed and then smiled. It was probably
better that way. It was most likely some girl issue that he would be better off
not knowing anything about.

Sitting back
down, Daniel stared at his computer screen, his mouth slightly ajar. He had a
three-book deal. Now, he had to complete his second novel and get going on the
third. The problem was, he was stuck. His mind could not come up with a strong
way to end the story. His characters had faced their conflict and had come back
to a place of peace. The fact that he had people waiting to read this novel was
adding to the pressure. What if his first novel was a fluke and they hated his
next two books?

Not helpful
self-talk, Daniel. Re-frame, re-frame.

Daniel took a
few deep breaths and began tapping Cortices, it calmed him down tremendously,
allowing him to relax and refocus. Besides, he wasn’t going to get anywhere if
he worried about what Jonathan or Penguin thought about his work.

Didn’t he know
that none of his writing came from his mind, but rather from his soul? Why he
had spent the past few hours trying to mentally make it happen was beyond him.
Sometimes, he forgot that everything he needed was already inside of him. So, he
closed his eyes, breathing into his characters and their souls. Then, he placed
his hands over his keyboard.

And began to
type.

# # #

Shelby had tried
to tell Daniel she was leaving, but he was so engrossed in his writing, she
decided not to disturb him. Besides, she figured the less dramatic she was
about where she was going and what she was doing with Kathryn, the better. So,
she wrote him a quick note and scurried out the front door.

She was meeting
Kathryn for tea at Jade Patisserie in Sellwood, known for its gluten-free
offerings and off-the-charts delicious macaroons. And right now, Shelby felt
like she needed about 20 of the white chocolate sea salt macaroons. A
sugar-rush was sure to dissolve the terror of actually being pregnant.

But, the macaroon
food fest was going to have to wait. From the moment she walked in the door at
Jade, Kathryn was all business.

“Okay, how many
days late are you?” were the first words out of her mouth.

Shelby looked
around, a bit exasperated. She leaned over the table and said in a high-pitch
whisper, “Geesh Kathryn, why don’t you let all of southeast Portland know that
I’m a little over
11
days late for my period.”

“11 days. Okay.
Alright. I was 11 days late once…you’re probably fine.”

“Um, were you
having sex?”
Kathryn rolled her eyes. “Semantics. No, I wasn’t. But, my point is—it happens.
You’re probably fine. Besides, nothing ever happens unless it’s meant to
happen. You and Daniel want kids, right?”

“Yes, we do. But
not four months into our relationship.”

“Have you had
any slips as it were?” Kathryn was not wasting any time in getting to the heart
of what was really going on.

“Easy killer,”
Shelby replied standing up. “We’ll get to the details soon enough. But right
now, I’m starved.”

Kathryn smirked.

“I haven’t eaten
lunch,” Shelby snapped back. As she walked over to the counter, she couldn’t
help but begin to add things up—she was starved, and she
had
eaten lunch,
and she just snapped at her closest friend after she had raced down to meet her
to discuss the possible pregnancy disaster. She shook her head, this was not
looking good.

And Kathryn had
every right to ask about slips. It had happened right after they moved into
their new home. They hadn’t yet hung up the very large mirror that was now in
the living room, and Daniel had come up with a fantastic idea of moving the
mirror into the bedroom. The whole “slip” spiraled from there.

Shelby hadn’t
been incredibly excited to make love in front of a mirror. She was worried she
would end up more fixated on the possibility of Daniel looking at her
cellulite, taking her completely out of the moment. But, with dimmed lights and
candles scattered throughout the room, Shelby saw herself in a whole new light—literally.

Daniel walked up
behind Shelby, wrapping his arms around her. “You’re a goddess,” he whispered
into her ear.

Their naked
bodies pressed against one another, as Daniel rubbed his strong, smooth body
against Shelby’s. The candlelight, and Daniel draped around her, made Shelby
feel like she was, in fact, a goddess. The two of them, standing there like
that, feeling one another and looking into each other’s eyes through the mirror
was more erotic than Shelby could have imagined.

Pleasure filled
her body as she arched her back into Daniel. He covered her neck with kisses,
letting his hands linger down to her heat, stroking her gently. Shelby was so
overcome with passion, she couldn’t contain herself. She turned around to
Daniel and pushed him onto the bed. Their kissing and stroking reached a fever
pitch and Shelby couldn’t stop herself. And neither could Daniel. Sitting on
top of Daniel, their two bodies in total one-ness and union, Shelby felt the
depth of their connection—the passion, the emotion, the sacredness of their
love. She felt so safe and so free with him in that moment, nothing else seemed
to matter.

Maybe it had
been the new atmosphere, the warm glow of the candles, or the intoxication of
seeing their two naked bodies together through the image of the mirror, but neither
Shelby nor Daniel gave a thought to using a condom that night.

“Really?”
Kathryn was riveted by her story. “You were so overcome with passion that you
forgot to use a condom?” she asked in disbelief. “I’ve never known you to be so
overcome by anything. I’m quite impressed.”

Shelby’s head
was down, her hands in her hair. “I know, right? I blame the mirror though. If
I hadn’t seen how hot it all was, I most likely would have had enough working
brain cells to get protection. Damn mirror,” she said, shaking her head.

“Okay, even so,
it is truly a miracle every time a woman gets pregnant. So, just because you
had a mirror incident—and sweetie, it happens to the best of us—doesn’t mean
you’re with child. It’s probably nothing. You moved in together, we just
wrapped up the holidays, you’ve been under a lot of stress. That’s all it is.”

Shelby grabbed
another macaroon.

“You know what
you need?” Kathryn asked.

“A new,
baby-less uterus?” Shelby inquired.

“A pregnancy
test.”

# # #

Daniel emerged
from his writing room, only to find the house dark and quiet. He had gone into
such a writing zone, he wasn’t sure how much time had passed or where Shelby
was. He walked through the house until he found a note on the fridge from
Shelby saying she was going out to have tea with Kathryn. He peaked into the
living room, to discover that Shelby had left all of her jewelry-making
equipment and supplies scattered around with the television still on (she was
watching the complete series of
Sex & The City
as her winter
activity), the
Sex & The City
DVD intro screen shining brightly in
the darkness of the house, although the volume was on mute.

“That’s odd,”
Daniel mumbled as he turned off the television and DVD player.

It was as if
Shelby ran out of the house without a thought.

As Daniel went
to walk toward the bathroom, he thought he saw something move in the shadows,
near the laundry room. He noticed a slight breeze tickling his skin. He caught
his breath. It had been a couple of months. Could it be?

“Mom?” Daniel
asked.

He thought he
saw the shadow move again. Did she have a message for him?

“Mom, is
everything okay?”               

There was no
response.

The shadow moved
and Daniel followed it. It went straight into the room that was meant to be
Shelby’s jewelry studio, but for now housed boxes. Even so, Shelby had been
more content to watch reruns of
Sex & The City
and make jewelry in
the living room.

The shadow
lingered for a bit in the empty bedroom and then slowly faded into nothingness.
Daniel didn’t understand why it wanted to hang out in the spare bedroom. He
shook his head and said, “Well mom, if you decide you want to come visit us
again, you’re always welcome.”

# # #

Shelby came in
shortly afterwards, her head hanging down, tears in her eyes.

“Are you ready
to tell me what’s going on love?” Daniel inquired. He sensed that whatever
Shelby and Kathryn had discussed was now ready to be shared with him. He wanted
to tell Shelby about the shadow in the spare room, but decided it would have to
wait.

Shelby sighed
and sat on the couch. She handed him a grocery bag.

“Well, let’s
start here.” She said.

Daniel opened the
bag, there was only one small box in it. He reached in and grabbed it.

“What the? A
pregnancy test? What’s going on? Do you think…” Daniel’s voice trailed off as
his mind worked to calculate timeframes and unprotected sex. “The mirror…”

“Yep, that damn
mirror Daniel. What were we thinking?”

“We weren’t,”
Daniel smiled, placing his hand on Shelby’s leg, rubbing it softly. “But
really, that was one time and I practically pulled out.”

Of course, this
was not entirely true, but Shelby didn’t have the energy to correct him. What
was done was done. Now, it was time for them to find out if the “damn mirror”—as
it was about to be forever branded—was leading them to parenthood.

“Ready to do
this thing?” Shelby said, rubbing her eyes. She was tired. She and Kathryn had
talked through it every which way. She had cried briefly when the reality of it
came crashing in (Kathryn had made some comment about drinking apple juice
spritzers on New Year’s Eve and Shelby just about burst into tears.).

Now, sitting in
front of Daniel, his denial clearly in place, Shelby wanted to know for sure what
she was dealing with and make a decision from there. There were only a few
things she was sure of at this juncture: for starters, she was not ready to be
a mother. While being a mom sounded like a “fun” prospect “down the road”, it
was not something she was ready to dive into now. Yes, she and Daniel were in
love, and yes, they even had the financial means and home to welcome a new
addition. But, even though the practical aspects were in place, the emotional
piece was not there.

Besides, Shelby
had a long-held fantasy of making love to her partner knowing they were calling
in the soul that would be their child. She wanted to be more intentional about
it all. She couldn’t imagine the Universe would allow a child to come into
their lives before they were ready. And because she had such strong faith in
the Universe, she held out hope that despite the mirror incident, she and Daniel
would be able to remain childless for as many years as they wanted.

# # #

But Shelby’s
faith in the Universe was misplaced.

She didn’t fully
understand that before she incarnated, she agreed to certain events and people
that she would come together with. Some would be for short periods of time
(like workaholic Josh, a man she dated briefly, or like her maniacal editor at
Hello
Portland,
who wouldn’t be in her life forever), and others would be a
bigger part of her life journey—people like Kathryn and Daniel and…Daniel’s
mother. Shelby failed to recognize that soul contracts are made long before we
enter into each life, and that they must be carried out, no matter what
feelings may arise in the moment.