Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation

To Jon and Heather, whose endless patience and support made all the difference.
And to Izzy and Jack, who challenge and inspire me every day.

—Elissa Stein

To Lar, who always understands; to Ollie, who always listens; and to Evelyn,
Melody, and Katie, who occasionally let me win.

—Susan Kim

Table of Contents

Title Page
Introduction
Chapter 1
-
LANGUAGE
Chapter
2
Chapter 3
-
SO HOW DID WE GET HERE?
Chapter 4
-
HYSTERIA
Chapter 5
-
SEEING RED
Chapter 6
-
SEX AND RELIGION
Chapter 7
-
SOCIETY’S ROLE
Chapter 8
-
ADVERTISING
Chapter 9
-
THE SCENT OF A WOMAN
Chapter 10
-
SO NOW YOU’RE A WOMAN!
Chapter 11
-
BACK TO BASICS
Chapter 12
-
WHEN GOOD PERIODS GO BAD
Chapter 13
-
HEY, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?
Chapter 14
-
OUTSIDE THE BOX
Bibliography
Acknowledgments
About the Authors
Copyright Page

Introduction

FEMALES MAKE UP MORE THAN HALF
of the world’s population. And at some point, every single one of us, all 3.5 billion—pop stars, housewives, nuns, Masai tribeswomen, journalists, psycho killers, geisha girls, the queen of England, rocket scientists, cheerleaders, congresswomen, bag ladies—gets a regular period that lasts up to a week, about once a month, for forty years of our lives.

So why is menstruation still the ultimate taboo subject?

Swaddled with more superstitions and nontruths than Bigfoot, menstruation remains hidden in a figurative box (scented, of course), stuffed deep inside the great medicine cabinet of American culture: out of sight and unmentioned. Although this may explain why some of us still think it’s dangerous to wash our hair during “that time of the month,” there are spookier issues afoot. While we’ve been busy skirting the subject like the ladies we are, did you know that PMS—premenstrual syndrome—has been quietly labeled a mental disorder by the American Psychiatric Association? Or that there are still cases of Toxic Shock Syndrome every year? (Hey, didn’t someone take care of that already?) Or that most tampons contain bleach and traces of dioxin? Or that there’s a serious corporate campaign nationwide to abolish periods altogether?

Is any of this good? Is it bad? How can we figure out what to do when we can’t even talk about bleeding in polite society? Flow tells you where it’s at when it comes to menstruation—what it is, what we’ve been told and how we’ve been sold, and what we should definitely know. It’s the most natural of cycles with the most unnatural of histories. It’s a funny, fascinating, and occasionally scary story of big business, advertising, feminism, gender roles, medicine, religion, world cultures, and, above all, good manners … in which every single female, young or old, will recognize her story.

It’s all reinforced by menstruation’s most devoted (you could say only) suitor, still faithful after all these years: the so-called feminine hygiene industry. Even though commercial menstrual products have been around for less than a century, they’ve meant big money from the word go. The industry’s products, packages, messages, and advertising serve as a peculiar, frequently hilarious, and downright bizarre time line of all that’s changed—and all that hasn’t.

Kimberly-Clark

We’re two women who, like all women, consider ourselves experts when it comes to our own periods … yet are paradoxically still full of uncertainties, questions, superstitions, and repressions. At the same time, we both pretty much take our periods for granted. For us, our periods are mildly inconvenient and reassuring at the same time: the uterus saying “all’s well”

But is it really that simple?

The fact is, women in the twenty-first century menstruate a whole lot more in our lifetimes than we ever did before, since the beginning of recorded history. We eat better and weigh more, so we hit puberty younger. Our life expectancy has gone up, so we no longer routinely drop dead at forty. And unless you belong to some kind of cult, chances are you are not bearing and breast-feeding babies every second of your entire reproductive life, thus suppressing menstrual flow. If you add it all up, this means that you, Average American Female, will have something like five hundred periods in your long and lovely life. What does all this bleeding mean for us when it comes to our health? What does it mean about the products we buy to control the flow, and how does disposing of them affect the environment?

But what happens when your period doesn’t play out like a tampon ad?

We know lots of women who, from their veiled hints and jokey complaints, appear to have a far more adversarial relationship with their periods than we do: irregular cycles, bad cramps, heavy flow, hellacious PMS, bloating. At the same time, no one we know actually discusses any of this openly, in any real detail. While it’s apparently okay to share your political beliefs with a total stranger or post naked pictures of yourself on the Internet, divulging straight-faced details of your last period is still considered the ultimate faux pas.

But what happens when your period doesn’t play out like a tampon ad? What if you secretly have real questions?

• What if you mysteriously stop menstruating even though you’re young and definitely not pregnant?

• What if you’re forty years old and find yourself beset by a monthly Red Tide lasting two weeks at a time?

• What if you start to bleed on a camping trip and are secretly convinced you’re going to get eaten by a bear?

• If you’re on the Pill, did you know that your monthly bleeding isn’t even part of a real menstrual cycle at all? So what is it? Why is it even there?

• What really happens if you, heaven forbid, forget to remove a tampon at the end of your period?

• What about sex during your period? Is it gross? Dangerous?

• What did women use before tampons and pads were invented?

• What if you’re approaching menopause and find you’re deeply depressed? Or wildly exhilarated? Or spaced out like a zombie? Is something wrong with you?

• If it’s true that a single disposable diaper takes approximately two million years to decompose, what’s the story with all those used pads and tampons?

• Which is worse, when your boyfriend dismisses your occasional, plate-smashing fury as PMS or when he refuses to acknowledge there’s actually something physiological going on?

• What if you’re still not sure whether to use pads or tampons? Are there any other options out there? Are they safe? Are they sanitary?

• And what about period extraction? Is that a creepy 1970s thing or an actual option?

• What about chemically shortening periods with the Pill or stopping menstruation altogether? Is it safe? Is it a good idea? Would you miss it?

• Are there any women who still douche? Should you?

• What do other women do about all this? How do they feel?

• What’s normal, anyway?

Over the years, we’ve both struggled with many such questions about our bodies and their cycles. As kids, we pored over the pamphlets that were covertly handed out in fifth grade or were stashed away inside the tampon boxes. As adults, we’ve talked to our gynecologists, we’ve read books and scoured the Internet, we’ve read political tracts about toxic shock and the Pill, we’ve browsed women’s magazines and the alternative press about rumors and remedies, and we’ve traded anecdotes and complaints with our friends. But we couldn’t find a single book that we as modern women could relate to: one that was supportive, informative, and honest. A bookthat we could share with the women and girls in our lives.

And that’s why we wrote Flow.

Chapter 1

LANGUAGE

F
OR YEARS, FEMINIST SCHOLARS COMPLAINED BITTERLY that menstruation was a taboo subject in the United States. Back in the 1970s and early 1980s, you could hear the dark mutterings in women’s health collectives and alternative bookstores across the country: Society kept any serious discussion of a woman’s monthly cycle locked away in a figurative hut of superstition, sexism, and ignorance, far away from men, children, and the rest of polite society.

But of course, that was then, this is now. These days, what subject isn’t talked about in broad daylight, right out loud—not only at home and at work, but on TV, in so-called family movies, on your very computer as you sit there innocently surfing the Web? It’s quite possible, in one not very exciting day at home, to stumble upon detailed descriptions and actual videos that explicitly refer to not only menstruation but numerous other bodily parts and functions that would make even your hard-boiled, tough-talking Aunt Freida blush.

Menstruation is everywhere! Why, in 2007, they even ran a nationwide commercial promoting menstrual suppression right before the Oscars, for Pete’s sake! Check out the commercials on daytime programming, pick up any magazine aimed at women or teenage girls. It’s like the tampons and pads are practically leaping off the screen and out of the pages to get at you! If there really was any kind of taboo against menstruation, it’s a thing of the distant past, isn’t it?

Procter & Gamble Company

Well, yes … and no.

The catch—and it’s a big one—is that whenever menstruation is mentioned these days, it’s only because there’s an underlying sales pitch. Either that, or it’s the subject of a complaint or the punch line to a joke. Or all of the above. There’s no real discussion of the actual event itself—not just the physiology and hormones of menstruation, but its complex history, its place in society, the inescapable role it plays in every woman’s life, and its ramifications for our health, the environment, and our lives. (And we’re sorry, no matter what any fifteen-year-old tells you, vulgarity alone does not count as honest discourse.)