Fixation (Magnetic Desires Book 3) (16 page)

Leo

"Are you sure you don’t want to join us?" I asked, while I waited for Tia to get her things together. She’d greeted me at the front door, her excitement barely contained as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet, her pigtails flying. Like my mother who had called me every half hour since seven this morning, Tia couldn’t wait to meet the family I’d told her about. My heart ached when I thought about how many years she and Lola had struggled through, only the two of them. I didn’t know if I would ever forgive myself for not being there, but I would keep trying for the rest of my life.

"No, I don’t belong there, Leo. You enjoy this time with your family." She wandered into the kitchen, pulling a mug from the cupboard and filling it with coffee and sugar.

My gaze landed on the packet of paper lying out on the counter. I shifted closer while her back was turned and my gut somersaulted. I'd threatened her with divorce papers, and Mellie had threatened me. Hell, I'd deserved it, would deserve it if she signed them and scrubbed me from her life, but it ripped me apart that she was considering it. "They want you to come. I want you to come."

Her brows drew together and she pursed her lips, her gaze drawn to the envelope on the counter before she headed back to the living room to stare out the window. "Nice truck. Did you borrow it?”

"I bought it so I can drive Tia, since we agreed she’s too young for the back of the bike."

"Oh. I need to get a car. Mike's been lending me his truck for far too long."

"I'm sure he's only too happy to let you." I touched her shoulder. "You’ve had enough on your plate."

"Maybe." She winced and drew away.

"How about you come to lunch, and then afterward we’ll look at cars."

"Why are you pushing this, Leo?"

I shoved my hand through my hair. "Because… you’re important to me."

"Important?"

Because I got a glimpse of those divorce papers on the counter when we wandered into the kitchen, and I damn well can't let you sign them. You’re the love of my life. You’re so far inside me that even after six years and losing myself in anger, I still need you. I still need you to forgive me for letting you down. I still need you to make me a better man. "You’re the mother of my child. You’re a huge part of my life and always will be."

"I don’t know."

Maybe I should have blurted out what I was thinking, but the thought of her clamming up and pushing me away made me guard my words. I had to remember to be patient and not push her too far, but it was so hard to do when I ached for her to be home, in my arms, where she belonged. "So how about it?"

She ran her finger over the windowpane and studied the dust on the tip. "I need to clean the windows."

"Oh, the hell you do." I growled and pulled her into my arms. Tia was still thumping around in her room, and I wondered if she was packing everything she owned for this short trip to Grandma’s. "I’m not going to take no for an answer. The minute our daughter comes down I’m going to tell her her mother is coming, too."

"You wouldn’t dare."

I sniggered. "Of course I would. Don't get me wrong, I don’t want to use Tia to get what I want, but you’re using her to keep us apart."

"I am not." She hissed and tried to disentangle herself.

"Dad, I’m ready." Tia chose that moment to burst into the room, and I had to bite my tongue. Of course she was using Tia to keep me at a distance and I didn’t blame her, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to let it continue.

"Good, princess. Your mom’s decided to come, too."

Lola glared at me.

"Yay." Tia clapped her hands. "When are we leaving?"

Lola pushed past me and headed for the stairs grumbling, "I’ll go and get changed."

Tia lugged her backpack over to me, and I crouched down to her level. "So what have you got in there?"

She smiled and unzipped the pink and purple bag to reveal a collection of stuffed animals and books. "I wanted to show Grandma my favorite things."

I chuckled. "Me, too."

Standing up, I took her hand and led her out to the truck, fitting her into the car seat I’d bought on my way over.

Lola came out a minute later and stalked across the yard. Dark sunglasses pushed up on her nose hid her eyes, but couldn’t hide the firm line of her mouth or the tension with which she carried herself. I opened the door for her, and she climbed in. Shutting it behind her, I raced around to the driver’s side.

The trip to Carlton was short. Somewhere around the time we hit the outskirts of town, Lola forgave me for dragging her along. Her whole body eased and she played I spy with Tia. My heart swelled with pride at having them both with me, but it didn’t help the unease underlying it. This was a moment, not the norm.

I pulled up in front of the old house. Drake’s motorcycle sat out front and I jumped out of the truck and helped Tia out as my mother, brother, and Birdie filed out onto the porch. Lola came to stand behind me and I wanted to offer her my hand to support her, but she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Leo, you bring that sweet little girl over here and let me see her," Mom said as she started toward us.

I kissed her on the cheek. "Hey, Mom. How’s Dad doing?"

"He’s getting worse. He struggles to remember." Pain lanced across her face. "Let’s not talk about that now. Introduce me to my granddaughter."

"Okay, Grandma, this is Tia. Tia this is your grandma."

Tia hid partially behind my leg until my mother crouched down. "Don’t be going shy now. I have a present for you. Will you come inside with me?"

Tia’s eyes lit up and she took Mom’s hand. They walked ahead while I turned to Lola. "Come on, they won’t bite."

She took halting steps and I placed my palm on the small of her back to usher her forward. Birdie grinned as we approached. "Come on, Lola. Let’s leave these boys to their own devices."

I followed Drake around the house to the back porch, and we snagged a couple beers from the bar fridge mom kept stocked for the times her boys came home.

"I never thought I’d see the day you’d settle down and be a family man." Drake knocked the top off his beer.

If anyone could make me feel like a failure, it was Drake. All our lives it had seemed he had what I wanted. It had never been a competition between us. Drake wasn’t like that. But still, there’d been a lot of jealousy on my part when we were growing up. "I’m working on it."

"When did you find out?"

"About Tia? A few weeks back. It was… a surprise."

He chuckled and lifted his beer. "I bet. It’s a good look on you."

"She’s amazing."

"And Lola?"

"She’s amazing, too." Putting my beer down, I stuck a cigarette between my lips and fumbled for a lighter.

"Are you going to give that up?"

I stared at the smoke and then ashed it out. It was time I started setting a good example. "Yes, doctor."

"Good. Let’s go inside. I want to meet this little girl who's stolen my brother’s heart."

"Watch it man, she’ll steal yours, too." Clapping him on the back, I led the way into the house.  

He grinned. "I’m counting on it."

***

"So what’s going on with you and Mellie’s sister?" Birdie asked while we sat outside after lunch.

I pulled a cigarette from my pack and lit up, drawing back on the butt while I slouched down in the chair. Drake's question about when I was going to quit hounded me. I took another drag, and butted it out in the ashtray. It would take baby steps to put this bad habit behind me, and baby steps to win Lola back.

Birdie and I had cleaned up while the others had taken Tia to a nearby park. It was unusual for Drake to leave me alone with my soon to be sister-in-law, but he was as enamored with his niece as I was. It had taken time to prove to him that I wasn’t the same guy I’d been when he’d first left us behind.

"Remember when we first met?" Recalling how she’d put me in my place within minutes of meeting had me grinning.

"I don’t think I’ll ever forget." She chuckled and fiddled with the end of her braid. "You were kind of an ass."

"That’s a nice way of putting it." Over time we’d become friends of a sort. "Well, you hit the nail on the head that day. She’s the girl. The one you said had ruined me."

"Oh." Her mouth formed a circle, drawing the word out slowly, and she leaned forward with her elbows on her table. "Is she the one who you were going to marry?"

"He told you about that?" Turning the lighter end over end, I tapped it against the metal arm of the chair.

"Drake tells me everything." She lifted a shoulder and dropped it.

"Well… I’ll remember not to tell either of you any secrets."

"I didn’t say I told him everything." Crossed her legs, she leaned back in the chair.

"Of course you do. You two are practically one person."

"That’s fair."

"Okay." I sat forward, hitching up one pant leg. "That girl I was supposed to marry? Well… I did marry her."

"So, Lola’s your what… wife?" Both eyebrows raised, she reached for her cup of tea.

My legs jiggled. She was the first person I’d told. I’d been so angry and so embarrassed when I came back to Carlton six years ago that I hadn't breathed a word of it. Now, I wasn’t sure where things were going. "Yeah. In a manner of speaking."

"What do you mean?"

"She’s got the divorce papers. They were out on the counter when I went to pick up Tia."

"She wants a divorce?" Leaning forward, she rested her hand on my arm. "Are you sure about that?"

I bowed my head, too heavy to hold up, the buzz of anger I had been so used to coursing through me. "I fucked up big time. She doesn’t want to give it another shot."

"You believe that? I mean she’s here, with your family. That’s a pretty big thing."

"I pushed her hand."

"Oh, Leo." She patted my arm and sat back. "You should know by now you can’t force a girl to do something she doesn’t want to."

And how many times had I broken that unwritten rule when it came to Lola? "Yeah, it was a shit thing to do."

"No, I mean, she wouldn’t have come if she didn’t want to be with you." Rising to her feet, she scooped up both our empty mugs.

The others were back. I could hear them moving around inside. Tia’s voice carried through the open windows. Getting up, I strode to the back door. "I hope you’re right."

"Leo?"

Pausing, I glanced over my shoulder. "Yeah?"

With a smile, she joined me. "Maybe she’s scared."

"Maybe," I conceded.

"Some of us need a good strong man to guide us to where we want to be. You’re a good man, Leo. Maybe you need to take charge." She jabbed me in the ribs with her elbow, and I opened the door to let her pass.

Maybe Birdie was right and maybe she was wrong. I didn’t know which, but I couldn’t let Lola sign those divorce papers. Not after we’d had so much time to let go, and yet neither of us had taken the final step to end it. I needed to get Lola alone, convince her we were worth another try, and I couldn’t do it here. "Are my girls ready to go?" I called out as I went inside. The sooner we got back to Reverence, the sooner I could get Lola to agree to give us another shot.

It took far longer than I expected to get them back in the car. Tia had two new bags I needed to pack into the car beside the one she’d brought with her, and mom wasn’t happy until she’d shoved several casserole dishes into the cab as well. Then there’d been hugs and kisses, and I’d grinned as I watched Lola fidget with the hem of her shirt when it was her turn to be embraced. Finally, we’d backed out of the driveway, after I’d promised to bring them back next week for lunch. I didn’t know if it was a promise Lola would let me keep but it had been enough to get us out of the driveway and speeding toward Reverence.

Tia fell asleep in the back seat on the way home, and I thought over what Birdie had said while Lola played games on her phone. I’d pushed her when we’d first met, but I’d been so certain that she was the one, I hadn’t been able to hold back. I’d pushed her again when she’d come back into my life, when she was willing and wanting to be with me, even though I couldn’t see past my misconceived belief she was everything I hated in a woman. But this was different. She’d shaken me up, left me rattled and uncertain and making moves I didn’t understand. Pulling into the driveway, I turned off the ignition and simply sat beside her while I tried to work out how I was supposed to climb the mountain between us.

"I had a good time, Leo. Your family is wonderful."

Unclipping my seatbelt, I gripped her knee. "They’re your family, too, Lola. You’re my wife."

She sighed. "How many times do we have to go through this?"

"As many times as it takes you to realize it." I growled and twisted to pull her in to my chest and claim her mouth. Showing her how much I wanted her.  

Her palms on my chest, she pushed at me. "We can’t go back."