Fix You (27 page)

The babies.

She needed to calm down. She was getting ahead of herself.
They needed to take this slowly—for Matty’s sake as well as theirs. Neither of
them should run into the fire without preparing themselves for the burn.

“I’d like us to be yours.” It was an evening for truths. She
wasn’t going to hide behind her insecurities any more. Life had taught her that
road only led to trouble and misery.

Richard’s smile was brilliant, his eyes as watery as hers
when she glanced up at him. He reached out to touch her hand, running his
finger from her knuckles to her wrist. Her skin erupted into goose bumps, tiny
hairs standing up on her flesh as she closed her eyes, feeling the intensity of
their connection.

They finished their meal, taking the plates and cutlery to
the kitchen, and loading up the dishwasher together. Every now and then Richard
would take something from her, his hand lingering on hers, long enough to let
her know exactly how he felt.

It was electrifying.

When the room was clear, Richard picked up their glasses and
the half-empty wine bottle, carrying them over to the sofa. He put them down on
the coffee table, patting the seat next to him. His eyes were dark and intense
as he watched Hanna walk over, her expression betraying her trepidation.

“What are you thinking?” he murmured, twisting his body
until he was facing her.

“I’m scared.” She was almost impressed by her own honesty.

“If it makes you feel any better, I don’t put out on first
dates.” He winked and picked up her glass, passing it to her.

“I do.” She took a large sip. Richard’s laughter was drowned
by the blanket of attraction covering them both. “I’m not sure we’ve ever
really made it to a first date, have we?”

He screwed up his face in thought. “Not that I remember.”

“Although you did take me to a restaurant in New York for a
date about ten years ago,” Hanna smiled. “I think you introduced me to one of
your exes.”

He laughed. “That wasn’t a date.”

“It was!” she protested. “Well, I thought it was. I took you
to a concert, you took me out to dinner. It felt like a date to me.”

“If I took you out for a date, I certainly wouldn’t
introduce you to my ex,” he replied pointedly. “I like to think I have more
class than that.”

It was Hanna’s turn to laugh. “You’re unbelievable. Your
memory is so selective I’m scared you’re losing your mind.” She leaned forward
and put her glass down before hitting him on the arm. He grabbed her wrist, his
eyes staring down at her hand. He looked at her pointedly, pulling her toward
him until their faces were inches away. She blinked twice, her stomach
contracting at the intensity of his gaze.

“I remember every single moment with you, Hanna. I remember
how young and surprised you looked the first time I saw you, when you were
standing next to that god-awful Christmas tree in my father’s house. I remember
how your eyes lit up when I saw you in the pub in the Cotswolds, watching some
shit band desperate to become world famous.” His lips curled into a smile, only
inches away from her own. She was desperate to breach the distance. “I remember
the way you looked underneath me, the first time we made love. Your eyes were
so bright and wide, and your lips trembled when I moved inside you.” He closed
the distance, his breath washing over her skin. “I remember every single,
fucking minute, Hanna. That’s what makes me lose my mind.”

Richard crashed his mouth against hers, his hand cupping the
back of her head, tipping it back until she was looking up at him. She reached
out and placed her hand on his neck, feeling his soft, short hair as it graduated
into his neckline.

His tongue danced along her bottom lip. She touched it with
her own, feeling it brush against her, then plunge into her mouth. She moaned
against him, her eyes shut tight, wanting to feel every part of his body on
hers. He pulled her closer until their chests were touching, but it still wasn’t
enough, her body demanded more. She clambered over him, straddling his legs,
and he cupped her ass, dragging her body against him. Their chests touched, and
she arched her back, her nipples singing in response to his proximity.

“Jesus.” He pulled away, eyes gleaming. “I’ve missed you so
much.” He moved in again, kissing her hard until they were both breathless. She
didn’t want it to end.

“I want you to take me to bed.” She was so desperate to feel
him naked against her, on top of her, inside her. It was like her body was
awake for the first time in years. She needed to know he felt the same way.

“Hanna…” He kept her close against him, his fingers tangled
in her hair. “I want it, too. But we need to take this slowly.”

She leaned forward and kissed him again, this time taking
control, easing her tongue into his mouth, grinding herself down on him until
she could feel his excitement growing beneath her. He grabbed her behind,
standing up and wrapping her legs around his waist, and she threw her arms
around his neck, never once breaking their kiss.

“You’ve persuaded me.” He moved his lips against hers. “Fuck
taking it slowly.” Striding across the living room, he headed for the door,
breaking their kiss so he could look up and find the handle. As he was about to
push it down, the telephone in the hall rang, the tone indicating it was the
concierge calling.

“Give me a minute.” He placed her gently down, and walked
over to the telephone, lifting up the handset. Hanna watched as the intense
excitement melted from his features, her body already feeling the absence of
his warm embrace.

“Okay, thank you.” He put the receiver back on the cradle
with a clatter, running a hand through his messed-up hair as he stared at her
apologetically.

“That was the front desk…my mother’s on her way up.”

Twenty Six

June 1
^st
2012

R
ichard walked forward and unlatched the
lock; the muscles in his back tensing as he pulled the heavy door ajar. The
light from the hallway spilled across the wooden floor, and he stepped back to
let his mother through.

Caroline Maxwell entered the room wearing a pink chiffon
cocktail dress, with a matching wrap draped across her shoulders. She had
pulled her blonde hair back from her face with a barrette, revealing smooth features
that belied her age. Though Richard had never asked, he assumed some of her
yearly vacations involved interactions with scalpels and over-expensive
surgeons. She certainly had enough money for it.

Whoever they were, they’d done a good job.

“What is she doing here?” Caroline gestured at Hanna with a
manicured hand. Her plump lips pulled back into a scowl, though any
accompanying lines were noticeably absent. “Actually, don’t bother to explain;
I’ve heard it all from Olivia Vincent. She seemed delighted to tell the whole
gala about my new grandson.” She glanced over at Hanna, her nose wrinkled with
disdain. “I can’t believe you’re letting Hanna fool you with her white trash
lies.”

Richard could feel the anger bubbling beneath his skin, and
his face heating up as he stared at her angrily. She held her thin frame tall
as if she was the wronged party in all of this, making him want to wring her
scrawny neck and scream at her. She needed to know what he’d lost because of
her lies. Her calmness only served to irritate him.

“I don’t think you want to start taking the high ground
here.” He was unable to hide his bitterness. “Because you’re going to fall.”

Caroline laughed. It was a thin, fragile chuckle, which made
him wince. “I have never been so embarrassed in my life.” She pulled at the
diamond pendant hanging from her neck.  “‘
Oh, I hear you’re a grandmamma,
Caroline
.
Didn’t you know Richard and Hanna have a child together? How
awful, they’ve kept it a secret
.’” Her sarcasm cut through the room like a
knife through butter.

Richard reached for Hanna’s hand, not wanting her to be
hidden. He wanted her next to him—needed her beside him—to show her he wasn’t
ashamed of their relationship. He was proud she wanted to be his.

“Well, that’s just perfect,” Caroline sneered, staring at
him as he pulled Hanna into his arms. “What the hell does she do to make you
run back every time? Is she good in bed, is that what it is? Because there are
people you can pay for sex…”

Hanna pulled her body from Richard, stepping forward with
her hand outstretched. He watched as her open palm made contact with his mother’s
face. The impact was hard enough to cause Caroline to stagger backward.

“Don’t you dare compare me to a whore,” Hanna said. Richard
had to clench his hands together to stop himself from applauding. “I’d be
grateful if you could keep your voice down, there’s a sleeping child in this
house.”

A livid red line formed across his mother’s cheekbone. She
stared at Hanna with sparks beneath her eyes, her face twisted with anger.  “Are
you going to let her talk to me like that? She assaulted me,” Caroline demanded
of him.

“I don’t
let
Hanna do anything. She’s her own woman,
and she’s welcome to do whatever she wants in our home.” He could feel his
heartbeat elevating as it clattered against his chest. He wanted to pull Hanna
against him and give her some reassurance. “But if you ever compare her to a
whore again, I’ll throw you out in the street.”

Caroline shrank noticeably, her eyes starting to water. “Why
are you so angry at me? I’m not the one who lied to you about a child, or
suddenly walked in years later pretending it was yours.” She patted down an
errant strand of hair. “Have you even had a DNA test?”

Richard glowered. “Matty is mine; I don’t need a DNA test to
tell me the truth.” He glanced along the corridor, his eyes resting on the
closed door to Matty’s bedroom. “I’m angry at you because the only reason Hanna
didn’t tell me she was pregnant was because of your goddamned lies.” He was
getting louder. He needed to get his anger under control.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Caroline’s voice
was dismissive. She rubbed her cheek. “I’ve never lied to Hanna.”

“You did!” Hanna replied. She was trembling like a
frightened animal beneath his embrace. “I called Richard’s cell phone and you
picked up. You told me Meredith was never going to be able to walk again.”

“I think I’d remember something like that. When did you
call?”

“When I found out I was pregnant. In June 2010.” Hanna
replied. She wrapped her hand around Richard’s waist, looking for something to
cling to.

Caroline shook her head, the tiniest of lines forming
between her eyebrows. She blinked a couple of times before looking at Richard,
her expression accusatory. “June 2010, wasn’t that when you told Meredith you
didn’t want to marry her?”

Richard thought for a moment, letting Hanna’s hand on his
waist calm him. It was hard to remember the events of two years ago, though
certain dates were etched in his mind. Like the time he told Meredith he didn’t
want to be with her, or when he flew to London to find Hanna had disappeared
again.

His stomach turned over as a memory flashed through his
mind. He could remember his mother calling him at work, telling him he had left
his cell phone at home. She had been at his apartment with Meredith, helping
her to pack her things. Caroline had offered to have his cell couriered into
the office.

“When you spoke to Hanna, were Meredith and I already
separated?” He curled his fingers into a fist, feeling the need to hit out.
Every single moment of the past two years were for nothing. They’d been so
close to their forever, to having everything they’d ever wanted. A few words
from his mother had been enough to bring it all tumbling down. “You told her
Meredith was crippled when we’d already split up?”

“I thought you’d change your mind about the separation…”
Caroline whispered, her voice trailing off.

Beside him Hanna had her hand clasped firmly over her mouth,
the horror of the situation making the tears run down her face. Richard
wondered if she had the urge to lash out and hit something—anything—the way he
did. The anger was too much; he didn’t know how to control it without exploding.

“You remember telling her Meredith was crippled?”

Caroline nodded, her body cowering away from him. He was
aware he was acting like a madman; his body coiled like a snake ready to
pounce. Only Hanna’s hold on him was enough to anchor him to the ground, to
stop him from doing something he might later regret.

“Why the hell would you do that? Do you realize Hanna was
calling to tell me she was pregnant? I lost eighteen months of my son’s life
because of you.”

His mother put her hand up to her chest, clutching with her
aged fingers. “I didn’t know—“

“You knew enough to send Hanna packing. You knew enough to
not even tell me I’d had a call on my cell. Don’t play the innocent in this,
you’re guilty as hell.” His body was so tense he wanted to scream, to lash
out…to do anything to let the tension go. Every moment standing in front of his
mother was a reminder of what he’d so very nearly lost.

What he
had
lost.

“Did Meredith know about the call?” His voice dripped with
acid.

Caroline shook her head, her face distraught as she stepped
forward, reaching out her hand. “Richard, you don’t have to do this. We can
speak to the lawyers, arrange for you to have custody. You don’t need to have
Hanna living here.”

It took a moment for her words to sink into his consciousness.
She wanted him to leave Hanna, and take Matty away from her. The callousness of
her suggestion was the nail in the coffin of their relationship. He wanted to
get her far away from his family, so she was unable to poison them the same way
she’d tried with him.

He hugged Hanna tighter, burying his face in her hair for a
moment, kissing the silky strands.

“We’d like you to leave now.” His voice was muffled by Hanna’s
hair. He couldn’t look at his mother, or bring himself to show her out. Nausea
swelled in his stomach as he recalled her final words to Hanna on the day of
the terrible phone call. He felt bitterly ironic as he addressed his mother, “Don’t
come back again.”

“Ever?” Caroline’s voice raised an octave. Hanna stepped
back from Richard and placed a reassuring palm on his chest. She shook her head
lightly, as if to tell him to hold fire. Deep down he knew she was right; he
shouldn’t make snap decisions in the burning heat of his anger, but it took all
the strength he had not to manhandle his mother out of the door.

“Not here. I don’t want you anywhere near my family.” Hanna
gasped as he said the words. “I know I can’t avoid you at Maxwell Enterprises,
but I don’t intend to let you anywhere near my private life.”

“But I’m your mother.” Caroline pulled herself up to her
full height. “I deserve your respect. I can’t believe you’re choosing her over
me. Stop this nonsense.”

Richard gestured at the door, shooing his hand like he was
dismissing a dog. “I’m just grateful I get to choose. I’ve found choice a very
scarce option in the past few years.”

Caroline gave him a final, angry glance, her thin lips
pursed as she shook her head and reached for the door. As he watched her
retreating back he felt nothing but relief. It was like the final block to his
future had been smashed to smithereens. He allowed a small smile to tug at his
mouth.

After Caroline left, Hanna seemed muted, like somebody had
painted her over with a grey-wash. He wanted to steal back the moments to when
he had her in his arms, her legs wrapped around his waist. Things had seemed so
joyful and easy; he didn’t know how to recapture that feeling.

“I think I’m going to bed. It’s been a long day.” Hanna gave
him a wan smile. “Hopefully things will seem less bleak in the morning.”

He knew she was right. The moment had passed, for now, and
they needed to give themselves time to let the wounds heal over. It didn’t make
him feel any less disappointed, though.

“If it makes you feel any better, the worst is really over.
Our parents know, and none of their reactions were unexpected.” He tried to
reassure her.

“Even Steven and Claire are angry with me.”

Richard shook his head. “They’re not. They were shocked, and
surprised, but I spoke with Claire today and they’re planning on visiting soon.
They’re so excited to have you and Matty in their lives.”

He reached forward and cupped her cheek with his palm. Her
skin was soft and damp with tears. Richard ran his thumb across her high
cheekbone and pushed his fingers into her hair, pulling her toward him until
her face was buried in his chest.

“I forgot to tell you, Ruby called today. She’s coming back
to New York next week.” Hanna’s voice was muffled by his shirt. “She wanted to
know how you felt about Tom coming with her.”

Richard laughed, his chest vibrating against her face. “Does
she really want to know?”

Hanna pulled back, lifting her head to his, her eyes
crinkled with amusement. “Not really. I told her to call you directly.” She ran
a finger along his stubbled jaw. “You’re not going to give her a hard time are
you? I think the two of them are meant for each other.”

He winced at the thought of his sister being meant for
anybody. “I suppose it would give me a chance to have a frank talk with Tom,”
he replied, his tone teasing.

“Poor Tom, I suppose it’s a good thing I don’t have a big
brother to come and hunt you down.”

His face grew serious. “I wish you did have someone who
would have hunted me down. I know Tom was on your side, and eventually he told
Ruby, but an angry guy with a shotgun could have prevented so much misery.”

“By burying you underground before you even met Matty?”

Richard shook his head. “No, by looking after you and making
sure I lived up to my responsibilities.”

Her hand still lingered on his face. He turned his head to
kiss her fingertips, his body reacting as she stroked them along his lip. He
watched through heavy lids as her mouth opened, and she pulled her full bottom
lip between her teeth, worrying it in a way that sent heat straight to his
groin. She plunged her thumb into his mouth, her expression leaving him in no
doubt about her feelings toward him.

“You should get some sleep.” His voice was thick with need.
He wanted to follow Hanna into her bedroom and drag the clothes from her body.
He wanted to comfort her with every inch of his own. But he told himself to
take things slowly, regardless of how desperate he was to be inside her. They
had the rest of their lives to be together, he wanted to do this right.