First Time: Ian's Story (First Time (Ian) Book 1) (32 page)

But could I really put a price on delaying
my life with Penny? She wanted to have children within the next
couple of years. That would be put on hold—a hold I couldn’t really
afford, myself—unless she was willing to move to the Bahamas with
me.

“
And we’re still talking
about me relocating?” I clarified.

She covered her mouth and swallowed. “Mmhm.
Is that a problem?”

“
It…” I paused. I would have
to bring this up with Penny. I couldn’t stall anymore. “I need to
consider it a bit more. Can I have a week?”

“
Well, I’m still considering
you, as well,” she said dryly. “I need to see at least some
preliminary designs, so that I know we’re on the same
page.”

“
Yeah,” I agreed. “I’ll
draft a proposal, PDQ.” I didn’t know when I would find time to do
so, but for eight figures, I would fit it into my
schedule.

We finished up our dinner, dollar signs
still dancing in my mind. I couldn’t wait to tell Penny, though I
did dread the possibility that she might not be so enthusiastic
about running away to the tropics or putting our plans for a family
on hold.

My earlier wish to speak to Penny must have
been more effective than I’d thought, because as Carrie and I
walked to the door, Penny stepped in.

“
What are you doing here?” I
felt faintly uneasy. Penny hadn’t… No, it was ridiculous to think
she might have come looking for me. She seemed just as surprised to
see me as I was to see her standing there.

Penny put on a big smile
that was so fake it wouldn’t have convinced me in total
darkness.
Oh no.
After what had happened with Brad, this couldn’t look good.
But she would understand, I was sure, once I explained it
all.

Her voice betrayed a slight tremble as she
spoke. “I dropped off a wrist brace. Rosa’s girlfriend works here,
and she left it at the apartment. In return, I got dinner.”

“
Oh, the carpal tunnel
waitress,” Carrie said with a little laugh. “What a coincidence.
Penny, was it? I’m Carrie Glynn.”

“
Glynn?” Penny repeated,
taking the hand Carrie offered. “As in Glynn resorts?”

“
Guilty.” Carrie smiled her
dazzling white smile.

“
This is my girlfriend,
Penny,” I said, adding, “whom I was telling you about,” so Penny
would know I wasn’t trying to be sneaky. “Penny, Carrie is an old
friend I worked with in the 80’s.”

“
Ah.” She nodded in
understanding but didn’t say anything else.

“
Well,” Carrie said after
the pause in conversation. “I was just leaving. Ian, it was
wonderful to see you again. Please, do give consideration to my
offer. The sooner I have an answer, the better.”

I shook her hand and she left. I turned to
Penny.

There was absolute murder in her eyes.

Chapter Sixteen

“
I’m counting to ten,” Penny
said, through what sounded like clenched teeth.

“
Pardon?”

“
I’m counting to ten before
I run out of here. So, your ‘old friend’ doesn’t see.”

“
Or, you could come with
me,” I suggested evenly. “I can give you a ride home, and you can
tell me why you’re so angry.”

“
You want me to tell you why
I’m angry?” She tilted her head, her lips pursed. “What if I
canceled my plans with you for a ‘work dinner’ and it turned out to
be with some hot billionaire I happened to be acquainted
with?”

“
I think Sophie would rip
your hair out at the roots,” I joked. Then, I realized how foolish
it was to name drop a woman I’d slept with in my defense. “But
there was no romancing going on tonight.”

“
Oh, please,” she hissed.
“You’re an architect, Ian. You do office buildings. What, are you
going to build Glynn world headquarters or something?”

The disdain her voice rankled. Did she not
think me capable of doing just that? She didn’t know anything about
my work. It was such a low blow, and not like the Penny I thought I
knew. “No, I was planning on designing a hotel. Like I told you
before. Can we either discuss this in my car, or at another time?
Because I don’t feel like having our first argument in the lobby of
a restaurant.”

“
Well, I didn’t feel like
running into my boyfriend with a hotter, more age appropriate
billionaire in the lobby of a restaurant, so maybe we don’t all get
what we want,” she snapped, but she turned for the door,
anyway.

“
Aren’t you supposed to drop
off a brace?” I called after her.

“
I already did!”

Time must have blipped forward or something,
because I hadn’t seen her do anything of the sort since she’d come
in, but I did have the good sense, at least, to not argue the
point.

It was biting cold. Penny walked with her
head down and her arms folded; I didn’t dare put my arm around her,
even to keep her warm. I worried I might pull back a bloodied
stump.

She didn’t speak the entire way to the car,
and the silence didn’t improve once we were inside. I turned on the
engine to get some heat going.

“
Are we going?” she
asked.

“
I don’t want to fight and
drive. Do I get a chance to explain here, or have you just decided
that I’m stepping out on you?” I tried to keep the exasperation out
of my tone.

“
You don’t have to talk to
me like I’m a child, just because I’m angry,” she seethed. “How do
you think it looks, you calling me and leaving a voicemail saying
we can’t get together tonight because of work—which, by the way, I
totally understand—and then you’re out with a woman, an ‘old
friend’ who doesn’t even work in your field, let alone at your
firm?”

She had a point there. “I should have been
more specific. It wasn’t business within the firm. Carrie is
looking for a team to design her next resort. And because she knows
me—”

“
How does she know you?”
Penny interrupted.

“
She started in
architecture. We worked together thirty years ago, and we’ve kept
in touch on and off. It’s nothing sinister, I assure you.” I
groaned and scrubbed a hand over my face. I could have told Penny
that I’d slept with Carrie a few times and that it had been nothing
serious, but there had to be a statute of limitations on disclosing
past sex partners in an argument. “And I really don’t appreciate
your condescension.”

“
When did I
condescend?”

“‘
What, are you going to
build Glynn world headquarters or something?’ Does that ring a
bell? Because you said it about five minutes ago.” I tipped my head
back and took a breath. I hated fighting. I’d already had enough of
that to last a lifetime. Arguments were stressful, and they hurt.
And this was Penny.

I didn’t want to hurt Penny.

“
I’m sorry,” she said
quietly. “That was…really uncalled for. I just… I was intimidated.
And shocked. When you said you had a work thing, I was envisioning
you and several other people, not you and one stunning
blond.”

“
I would have much rather
been with one particular stunning blond this evening, but I had to
meet a potential client, instead.” I shook my head. “Have I ever
done anything to indicate that you shouldn’t trust me?”

She didn’t say anything but looked down at
her hands, her face flushed, shoulders slumped.

I wanted to feel vindicated that she
couldn’t come up with an answer. I wasn’t that cheap. “I know that
your last boyfriend did something horrible to you. And it’s
perfectly natural that you’re suspicious. But I promise, there is
no other woman on this planet that I want to be with more than you.
I wouldn’t risk what we have for something as stupid as a one-night
stand with Carrie Glynn, or anyone else.”

“
I wasn’t worried about a
one-night stand.” She sniffed and raised her head, staring at the
fogged windshield as though she could see through it to some bleak
future outside. “Cheating is never about a one-night stand. It’s a
symptom of a bigger problem.”

“
That’s a bit trite, isn’t
it? What have you been reading?”

My joke didn’t go over well. The set of her
jaw hardened, and she looked at me, finally, but only to glare.
“I’m not a child, Ian. Don’t treat me like one.”

“
I’m sorry. Now I’m the one
who’s condescending,” I admitted. “Go on. You said you were
intimidated. Why?”

She sighed, her expression softening. “I
just turned twenty-three a few weeks ago, Ian. I’m working at a job
I got with a degree I didn’t want in the first place, I have
practically no money, no idea of what’s going to happen in my
future… I am the definition of not-having-your-shit-together. And
you’re so… I mean, you have your own firm, you’ve accomplished
things, you’re actually doing what you want to do—”

“
No, I’m not,” I corrected
her. “I’m not doing what I wanted to do. I wanted to be an artist.
I wanted to go ‘round Paris sleeping under bridges and sketching
beautiful, tragic women in cafes. I never wanted to be an
architect. It was just something I happened to be good
at.”

Her eyebrows drew together. “I forgot about
that.”

“
Well, sometimes I do, as
well. And believe me, that’s almost worse than knowing that I’ll
never have that life. Forgetting your dream, that’s a hell of
thing.” I wasn’t making this any better. “You’re worried that I
would want to be with Carrie Glynn? Why? Because she has
money?”

“
No. I mean, the money does
figure in. But it’s more about the overall picture. The reason she
has that money is because she’s confident and accomplished and
successful. Literally everything I’m not.” She shrugged
hopelessly.

“
Exactly. She’s everything
you’re not,” I agreed. “Which is why I don’t want her. I want you,
Penny. Not the opposite of you.”

When she didn’t reply, I let my statement
settle in the silence. After a long moment, I said, “You mentioned
her age. Is that another thing…”

“
Yeah.” Penny nodded
vehemently. “Yeah, your age is intimidating, and it’s something
that I haven’t brought up before because… I don’t know. I’m afraid
that I make you feel bad about being older than me. But you make me
feel bad about being younger than you.”

“
Oh?” I couldn’t think of
anything else I could say that wouldn’t come off as a challenge to
her perception.

“
Yeah. You make these little
comments all the time about how old you are in comparison to me.
‘My knees used to be able to do that,’ or ‘humor an old man.’ If I
complain about something, you just brush it off with, ‘imagine how
you’ll feel in thirty years.’ Why would you want to be with me, if
I make you so self-conscious and self-critical?” Her breath
trembled as she inhaled. “It just made sense to me, when I saw you
with her. Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who doesn’t make you
feel like Methuselah?”

“
I never said I felt like
Methuselah, did I?” I asked then waved my hand. “No, I know that’s
not the point. I—” All of the air went out of me. She was right. I
had made all of those negative comments. They hadn’t seemed
harmful, at the time, just self-effacing. “Penny, when I say those
things… It’s because
I’m
intimidated. You’re so beautiful, and you have so
much energy and optimism… I say those things because I feel
dishonest if I don’t remind you that you can do better.”

“
I don’t want better,” she
protested. “I want you.”

I waited for her to make the connection, and
laughed softly as I saw the understanding pass over her features.
“You’re not out there looking for someone better. I’m not,
either.”

She nodded and looked straight forward,
wiping her tears away almost angrily. “Just so you know, I didn’t
follow you here. I really did have to drop off Amanda’s arm
brace.”

“
I believe you. She was our
waitress.”

“
I was just coming back in
because I forgot the food she was bribing me with—” She paused.
“Wait, was Carrie Glynn the woman who told her she should get
acupuncture?”

“
Yeah, why?” Hopefully, the
answer would lift the mood a little.

Penny shook her head and smiled.
“Nothing.”

“
Are we okay now?” I asked,
wishing that I’d cleared my throat first.

She turned to me and shook her head, as if
she were dismissing some silliness that didn’t matter. “We’re okay.
I’m embarrassed that I didn’t trust you. But we’re okay, as long as
you can forgive me.”

“
I’ve forgiven people for
worse.” I leaned over the center console and cupped her jaw as I
went in for a kiss.

She laid a hand on my chest and met my
mouth, her lips soft and sweet on mine.

When we parted, I said, “All right. I
haven’t been home yet, and I have to feed Ambrose. Do you want to
come stay the night?”

“
Ah. You know…” She dipped
her head. “I don’t want you to think you have to—”

I put my hand on her arm gently. “Penny.
Come home with me. Neither of us wants to be alone tonight.”

“
Sure,” she agreed, looking
almost disappointed with herself.

We went to her place, where I waited in the
car while she grabbed her things. Then we drove back to my
apartment, where I was confronted by a very angry Ambrose. I
couldn’t tell who he was less pleased to see, me or Penny.