First Light (10 page)

‘Yeah not far, a bit further out from town. What about you, where are you from?’

‘I grew up in New York, I’ve lived in a few different places since then,’ he said.

‘So how do you guys know each other?’

‘K’s like a big brother to me.’

‘Oh? How did you meet?'

‘Ace,’ Kalen interrupted before Ace could respond, ‘I think you should leave us alone now
Little Brother
.’

‘Laith’s being a jerk, I’d like to stay here with you guys.’

An awkward silence followed. Kal didn’t look at either of us, but his stance was clear, even to me.

‘Fine, see you later, Ronnie, it was good to meet you.’ With that, the youngest boy got up and slouched out.

‘That wasn’t very nice,’ I said when the door had closed.

‘He needs to toughen up.’ Kal bit his lip as he looked at me, as if thinking something over. ‘How’re things at home?'

‘Okay.’ I lifted my shoulders, but a weight seemed to bear on them at the thought. ‘It’s Christmas next week, it'll be hard for my sister and Cloud.’

‘What about for you?'

I hesitated. What did it matter how hard it was for me? 'I want to keep things as normal as possible. I haven’t decorated yet. Dad used to do that.’

‘Will your sister will help you?’

‘Rachel doesn’t do house stuff, she’s not good with manual.’

‘She’s older than you,’ he said, as though it were the answer to everything.

‘Yeah, but she had a hard time when we were kids.’

‘How so?’

I perched on the edge of his single bed. ‘Well, our mum ran out on us all when I was young. Rach was a teenager, but I was only three so I don’t remember her really. Rachel took it badly and Dad never knew how to make it better for her.’

‘He was a good father,’ he said thoughtfully.

For what felt like the hundredth time, I realised that I still didn’t know how he knew my dad. My father was a good one, but he’d kept a lot from us in the end. Could Kalen have been one of his secrets?

He took a step towards me and I instinctively stood up. It halted him.

‘I just–’ I hesitated, ‘we can’t let this, whatever this is between us, keep happening.’

‘Like what?’ His eyes narrowed. ‘Me, holding your hand? Being there for you while you cry?’

‘No, yes – any of those things – all of it. You undressing me for a start! I don’t even know you.’

‘You know me better than anyone else does.’

‘That’s not saying much,’ I scoffed. ‘Why can’t you tell me anything about who you are? Is it bad? There's a lot of talk going around about you guys.’

He let out a dark laugh. ‘And what do the people of Clanots Ocean have to say?’

I shrugged. ‘I don’t listen to rumours.’

‘Maybe you should.’

For a moment I thought he looked incredibly sad, but just as quickly his eyes turned to stone.

‘Why are you being like this? I’m just trying to be your friend,’ I said quietly.

‘Well, I’m not your friend.’

I flinched. Refusing to let myself cry, I snatched up my bag and headed for the door. ‘If you're not my friend then why is it every time I turn around, you’re there?’

He laughed then, a sharp dark sound that made me recoil. ‘I’ve been asking myself that very question.’

Stung, my brain fought with my heart as to what to do. My head won. ‘I’m so out of here.’

I hurried down the stairs and through the front door so I didn’t have to pass his friends. Outside, I broke into a run and only when I was far from the wrought iron gates of the mansion did I let my legs slow down. I kicked a small stone, watching it rattle along the pavement. Instantly I tried to conjure my hero, imagining him slipping his hand into mine. He was tall and strong, everything about him wonderful and good... but something didn’t feel right. The daydream didn’t calm me as it usually did. In fact, it had no effect at all. I shook the image away, the sound of someone calling my name catching my attention. A group of boys from school were standing at the bus stop by a small row of shops. The smell of fish and chips filled the air from the take away opposite. My stomach growled.

‘Hey, Joel.’ I was a little miffed; Joel Turner was in the year below me at school and I was quite sure he’d never spoken to me before. Now he was smiling widely, like we were best mates.

‘How’ve you been? I was sorry to hear about your dad,’ he continued as I stopped beside them.

I glanced at his friends. They seemed to be hanging on every word.

‘Thanks, I haven’t been too bad.’

‘Good,’ he said, nodding as if there was more he wanted to say. Then one of his boys with him – who I didn't recognise – shoved Joel from behind, forcing him to continue.

‘So,’ he grinned, ‘that guy who dragged you out of White Lies on the weekend. He hangs with those other lads, right? The ones from the Taylor mansion?’

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. ‘Yeah he does,’ I replied, checking my watch. Ten minutes until the bus rescued me.

‘What’s their deal? How do you know him?’

‘I don’t – I mean, not really.’

One by one, their interest waned. ‘See,’ said one, ‘she doesn’t know them. I told you guys you were full of it.’

‘But he did carry you out of the club though, right?’ Joel persisted, his tone suddenly unfriendly. ‘My sister saw you.’

I thought about how to answer. They obviously thought I wasn’t cool enough to know one of the infamous boys and, to my own annoyance, it hurt to know people thought I was such a loser. The sound of a car approaching at speed behind us saved me from the conversation. The passenger door to the black Audi swung open as it pulled to a stop beside me. With a quick look back at Joel and his friends, I leaned down to look inside.

‘I’ll take you home,’ Kal said, his eyes narrowing in on the boys, who were all craning to get a better look at him.

Thinking better of my inclination to tell him to get stuffed, I climbed in, giving the group a small wave as we sped away. The tyres screeching was an added bonus, one I enjoyed almost as much as watching their gaping expressions in the side mirror.

I didn’t mention the exchange to Kalen and by the time we neared my house it no longer seemed important. He turned off the engine and stared at the wheel. I didn’t move. I felt compelled to say something, to try to make things better, but I was still too angry. Eventually after a prolonged silence that neither of us appeared able to fill, I opened my door to get out.

His hand reached out and rested on my arm as I swung my legs out. A jolt of electricity passed through me.

‘Please don’t walk out on me into the night like that. It’s not safe.’

‘You we're being an idiot.’

‘So you endanger yourself?’

‘I just walked to the bus stop, Kal, and it’s only nine.’

He was silent again. He chewed his lip and stared out the window before speaking in a voice that was barely more than a whisper. ‘I shouldn’t have let you go... I’m not used to explaining myself, especially my emotions. It’s new to me,’ he struggled. ‘I want to spend time with you but, it’s so complicated. I’m not a good person to know, Ronnie.’

‘Do you mean you’re dangerous?’ I asked, my own voice tight.

‘I would never hurt you,’ he looked at me, his eyes serious. ‘But I’m not good for you.’ He emphasised each word, sending a shiver through to my core. I felt a strange surge of disappointment, but something about him seemed in so much pain that instead of worrying about the danger he was talking about, I felt sorry for him.

‘You should get inside,’ he said finally, letting his hand fall from my arm as the first drops of rain began to fall.

My heart ached more than ever, but I forced my legs to work and stepped out into the damp air.

‘
Ronnie–’ his voice sounded from behind me.

I looked back. He was out of the car, leaning against the doorframe, a level of misery in his eyes that I couldn’t understand. ‘Friends then?’

I smiled. ‘You tell me.’

He smiled in return, his lips pressed together. I turned to go inside, at the same time as the clouds opened above us.

Closing the front door I blocked out the outside world and listened to his car speeding away. Soon, all I could hear was the rain beating on the deck. No one was home. It was the first time I was actually relieved to be alone.

Lisbon – September 2006

Four of them were enjoying an afternoon of sunshine outside the small town centre when Ace arrived, letting his moped fall to the floor as he ran up to them.

‘They’re here,’ he said grimly.

They’d escaped from America almost a year before and had had no problems until now, so they all knew they must have let their guard down: going round in a group of five more often than they should; staying in one place for more than a few weeks. It had been good in Portugal. Life had felt
okay
for once.

They all rose from their seats on the pavement, Nash moving swiftly to Ace’s side as he checked him for injuries.

‘I’m fine,’ the twelve-year-old said. ‘I was playing backgammon with the old guy from the market. I saw a car pull up outside our apartment. They cased it for a while. I managed to slip down a back street. I don’t think they saw me, but I can’t be sure.’

‘Damn,’ said Kalen. Although he’d known all along this day would come, he’d wanted his freedom to last a bit longer. He was fond of the little one especially; Ace didn’t deserve to go down for things he hadn’t even done.

‘Okay, we knew it was just a matter of time,’ he continued.

Laith cursed their former bosses under his breath and Kal silenced him with a look.

‘I know how you feel, but that won’t help us now. We all know the drill. Ace, you’re with Nash. The rest of us will split up. Stick to the plan, we’ll try to meet in Morocco in two weeks – take care,’ he added as an afterthought.

Each boy nodded, struggling to express his fear. No words were spoken, but as the sun set over the horizon, igniting a blood-red sky, they parted at the street corner knowing they may never see each other again.

11 – Surprise Visit

The morning was cloudy, still heavy with the rain that had been falling all night.
I took a quick shower, pulled on a tracksuit and caught the bus to the gym. All the while I tried, unsuccessfully, to think of something other than Kalen. I knew he was telling the truth when he said he was dangerous, it wasn’t an act, I was sure of that. But I didn’t think it was drugs, or anything else the people of Clanots Ocean had come up with. Whatever the truth revealed, I wasn’t sure I could ignore him now even if I wanted to.

I dialed Mae as I walked. ‘Kickboxing?’ I asked.

‘Um, can’t today, Ron I have plans with… Mum.’ She sounded awkward. I was sure she was lying, but I let it go. ‘See you soon, then,’ I said and hung up.

Kickboxing class was therapeutic. I enjoyed smacking the pads and practising my roundhouse kicks, but the trainer, Taz, was especially attentive today. Constantly fussing and asking if I was okay. I found it curious. I guessed he’d heard about my father – like everyone else in town – and wasn’t sure how to treat me.

The temperature had dropped by the time I stepped outside, so I pulled my scarf out of my gym bag and looped it around my neck. As I headed from the bus along the long winding road that led to my house, I stopped. Ahead, a dark car was driving towards me. It’s blacked out windows sent my pulse into a panic. I’m not sure why I did it, but I scooted to the side of the road and ducked down beside a thorny bush. I felt dumb, but I waited until the car had passed before coming out of my hiding place. I spent the rest of my walk hoping it wasn’t a debt collector, or anyone from the bank. I had been putting off the inevitable, desperate to wait until after Christmas to tell Rachel about the house. I figured I could hide until then.