First Lady (19 page)

“Devlyn,” came the sleep-husky voice. Lauren struggled to sit up in bed, temporarily confused at waking up alone but in the President’s room. She pushed her small laptop onto the floor. “Darlin’?”

Dev glanced up at Lauren in agony.

Lauren scrambled out of bed and dropped to her knees in front of other woman, gently brushing her knuckles against Dev’s cheek as she worriedly searched her face. “What’s wrong?” The bolt of worry that lanced through her was nearly enough to make her dizzy. She’d never seen Dev look quite so undone.

The softly spoken words so full of concern did it. The tears that had been brutally pushed back all night rushed forward with a vengeance. Dev’s breathing hitched again and then she began to cry.

“C’mere.” Shoving down her own panic, Lauren stood and led Dev back to the bed by one hand. She quickly adjusted a pillow and then climbed in, silently asking her lover to join her with a pat on the bed next to her.

Dev eagerly complied, lying down with her head on Lauren’s chest and feeling strong arms wrap themselves around her in silent support. “I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”

“Shh…” Lauren admonished gently, her heart aching for her friend. “You don’t have to apologize for this.” She kissed the top of Dev’s head.

It took a long time for the tears to slow, then stop, as the exhaustion that always follows a good cry began to take over. Lauren whispered words of reassurance and comfort the entire time, one hand gently tracing Dev’s back in a calming motion. Finally, the sky began to take on the faintest hint of pale purple and she knew, without looking at the clock, that it would be dawn in a few moments. “Do you want to talk about it?” Lauren asked in a low voice, punctuating her question with a soft kiss near Dev’s ear.

Did she? Dev was surprised to find that she did. And so, leaving out many of the classified details, Devlyn told Lauren the entire story. Ending with a ragged, “Geoff’s… Oh, Jesus, Geoff’s nephew was… was on board. I’m sorry. I’m…” the words trailed off into a mournful sigh.

Lauren’s eyes shimmered with tears, and it took a moment to speak around the lump that had grown in her throat. “Was he there? Geoff, I mean.” She felt Devlyn nod against her, moving her T-shirt, which was now damp with tears. “Oh, God,” she whispered, tightening her hold on Dev. “I can’t believe you had to do that. How horrible.”

Dev shifted a little, her body stiff from lying in the same position for so long. “Don’t feel sorry for me,” she said flatly. “I wasn’t blown to bits.”

“Stop that,” Lauren responded gently but firmly. “Of course I hurt for you, Devlyn,” she murmured emotionally. “I hurt for you most of all.” God, she didn’t just order it done. She did it herself. Lauren shivered inwardly, horrified. Half of her was angry that Dev couldn’t have delegated this soul-numbing task to a soldier whose job it was to kill. But the other half of Lauren was fully aware of how selfish that was. And that Devlyn would never expect someone to do something that was her responsibility. Problem was, sometimes it seemed like the entire world was her responsibility.

Dev’s eyes began to burn again, and she sucked in a quick breath, fearing she was going to start crying all over again. “I- I’m not supposed to be doing this,” she said helplessly, suddenly seeming very lost.

With the hand on her back, Lauren could feel Dev’s heart rate pick up.

“I’m supposed to be strong.”

“You don’t have to be strong all the time, Devlyn,” Lauren said with a sad smile. “Not like this, here with me.” She sighed “After what’s happened, I’d be worried if you were doing anything else, honey. This is exactly right.” She kissed Dev’s head again. “Exactly.”

Lauren’s voice sounded so sure that Devlyn had no choice but to believe. She couldn’t help herself. In a moment of crystalline clarity, Dev knew that this was something she’d needed for a long time. Some burdens couldn’t be carried alone. Some secrets, she realized, needed to be shared if she was going to keep her sanity.

The blonde woman felt Devlyn begin to relax and her breathing slow and grow steady. “I love you,” Dev burred, her voice the barest of whispers.

That’s it, darlin’. Relax. Sleep. “I love you, too.” She stayed sitting up in bed, awake, thinking, with Dev pressed tightly against her chest sleeping, as the sun rose over the White House and another day began.

L
AUREN PULLED SHUT the door to her White House quarters and adjusted the strap to her laptop as she juggled her briefcase.

“Lauren,” Ashley called from the other end of the hall, just as she began to dash towards her. “Wait.”

Lauren glanced at her watch and schooled herself in patience. She was already late for an interview with the Secretary of Health and Human Services, who had known Devlyn since graduate school. “Hi, Ashley.”

The girl came to a sliding stop in front of Lauren. “You can’t go,” she said a little desperately, a panicky look chasing its way across her face.

Lauren’s eyebrows jumped. “I have an appointment. I—”

Ashley grabbed hold of Lauren’s arm and dug her heels into the thick carpet. “Please!”

“Ashley, I don’t understand. I—”

“Mom just called. Today’s parent/teacher conference day.”

“Uh huh.” She gazed at Ashley expectantly.

“And she’s stuck at some fund raising speech in
Chicago
.”

Lauren’s eyes widened a touch. “Still? She was supposed to be back hours ago.” Sometimes she just didn’t know where the time went.

“She said I could ask you if you’d go in her place.”

Lauren’s gaze was soft and questioning. “Ashley, Devlyn should really be the one to go to that sort of thing, shouldn’t she?”

“Please, Lauren?”

Pale brows drew together. Ashley looked especially desperate. Something wasn’t right. “Are you sure, honey? I’m not—”

“Puhleeeeeeeeez!”

A deep sigh. “It’s not that I don’t think I should go.” Mostly. “It’s that I know your mom hates to miss this sort of thing. Can’t you reschedule?”

Ashley shook her head wildly. “Nuh uh. The teacher gets mad when that happens. She’s mean to kids whose parents make her wait and wait.”

Lauren’s eyes sparked. “Did she do that to you last semester?” She remembered Devlyn having to reschedule three times before she could attend the conference that took place just before Thanksgiving.

“Well, not exactly,” Ashley admitted reluctantly, digging her toe into the navy blue carpet. “But Cathy Simpson told me when her dad missed his appointment that—”

Lauren held up her hand and let out a deep breath, then she looked down into those pleading brown eyes and began to melt. Crap. Any other arguments simply died on her lips. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. “What time?”

A relieved grin lit Ashley’s face. “Fifteen minutes.”

“Ashley!” Lauren’s eyes widened in alarm, and she yanked open her bedroom door. “You could have given me a little time,” she complained, tossing her computer and brief case on her bed. She ran nervous hands through her hair. “What should I wear?”

Ashley blinked. “Huh?”

“Clothes, Ashley,” she said as she dialed Beth’s number. She quickly explained the situation and asked Beth to reschedule her appointment. She scowled when Beth chuckled and wished her luck. What was that all about? She tossed the phone alongside her briefcase and refocused on the 8-year-old. “Can I wear this or do I need to change?” Never mind that what she was wearing was good enough for her business meeting. This was something… well, parental and she wanted to be prepared.

Two sets of eyes fixed on Lauren’s tailored, russet-colored pants suit. Lauren held open her unbuttoned trench coat to give Ashley a better look.

Ashley shrugged. “You look fine to me.”

Lauren sighed. “What does your mom wear?”

“I dunno.” Ashley sat down on the bed. “What did your parents wear?”

Lauren thought about that for a moment. “I doubt they ever went to one.” That would have required Mama getting out of bed and Daddy coming home before 8. She felt an instant pang of guilt for the unkind thought and mentally chastised herself.

“Oh, I get it,” Ashley explained in a very grown up way. “They didn’t have teacher conferences in the olden days when you were a kid.”

Lauren gaped. “Olden days? I’m not that old.” She grabbed Ashley’s hand. “C’mon. I don’t want to be late. Your teacher gets me in a business suit.”

“It’s pretty,” Ashley assured her as Lauren dragged her down the hall.

Lauren stopped dead in her tracks and pulled the girl into an unexpected, enthusiastic hug. “Thanks.”

“Lauren?”

The writer continued to squeeze her. “Yeah?”

“Yo… you’re squishing me,” Ashley croaked, her words muffled against Lauren’s chest.

Lauren released her instantly. “Sorry.” She winced.

Ashley thought about how Lauren was acting. “Don’t be nervous. It’s just a conference.”

 
“You’re pretty smart, you know that?” Lauren patted her cheek.

Ashley beamed. “Thanks.”

Two minutes later they, along with Amy, the Secret Service Agent assigned to Ashley, were in a car being driven to Brightwood Elementary. President Marlowe believed that public schools were the backbone of the
US
education system and that they needed her support. So despite the logistical nightmare caused by security concerns, all her children attended public institutions. Dev also understood that private schools offered subjects and smaller class environments that public schools simply couldn’t. Towards that end, for an hour everyday after school, a tutor came to the White House, alternately instructing Ashley in art history and French.

It was a compromise that let Devlyn do what she thought was best for her children, while still allowing her to put her money where her mouth was when it came to support of public education.

Lauren turned away from the window. It was starting to rain. “So, are you ready?” She smiled at the little girl, who was wearing her trench coat over her jeans and sweatshirt.

“Ready for what?”

“The conference, of course.”

“This is a parent/teacher conference.” There was a long pause until Ashley finally gave Lauren a significant look. “I’m the kid. There is no ‘kid’ in parent/teacher.”

Lauren scowled. “I knew that.” Shit. Duh. “So why are you here then?”

“Because you dragged me along.” Ashley giggled. “I tried to tell you but you just kept saying we’re gonna be late. We’re gonna be late.”

Lauren smiled guiltily. “I did, didn’t I?” She reached over and tickled Ashley’s mid-section, causing the girl to gasp and squeal with delight. “You won’t rat me out to your mom, will you?”

Ashley finally fended off Lauren’s hands and raised a single dark eyebrow in a move so reminiscent of Devlyn that Lauren’s heart actually clenched. “Depends on whether you rat me out,” Ashley told her. “I think we can reach a compromise.”

Lauren’s eyebrows crawled up her forehead. “You do, do you?” She pinned Ashley with a look of her own. “What have you done, you little troublemaker?”

Ashley bit her lip, her bravado evaporating as quickly as it had appeared. “Nothing.”

Lauren waited.

“Much.”

The writer groaned as the sedan pulled up in front of the school. “Oh, boy.”

“I’ll wait here,” Ashley offered innocently, her face coloring as she thought of what Lauren was going to find out.

Lauren took Ashley’s hands and squeezed them gently. “It’s nothing that’s going to give me a heart attack, is it?” God, she’s only 8, how bad can it be? She glanced hopefully at Amy when Ashley wouldn’t meet her gaze.

Amy smiled encouragingly. “You’re going to be late,” she reminded.

Lauren sighed and exited the car, along with an agent from the front passenger seat. Together, they entered the school.

“When did they shrink everything, Brendan?” Lauren asked, increasing her pace and eyeing the numbered classrooms as she walked briskly down the hall.

The stout agent laughed. “I think you just grew, Ms. Strayer.”

Lauren wrinkled her nose. “At least it smells the same.”

Brendan’s alert eyes scanned the hallway. “I went to Catholic school,” he said absently.

“It didn’t smell like dust, kid sweat, and stinky feet?”

They both laughed.

“No,” he admitted, “it did. And sometimes incense.”

Lauren stopped outside room 36B and stepped aside as a young couple hurried out of the room. They looked stricken and were mumbling something about killing little Jimmy. The blonde swallowed hard, feeling a bit like she was about to face a firing squad herself. Hey, I didn’t do anything wrong. But a million guilty memories of all the horrible things she’d done in school assailed her. This must be one of those “I hope it happens to you someday” moments Daddy warned me about.

Brendan stuck his head into the room, seeing no one but Ashley’s teacher waiting impatiently at her desk. He also caught sight of another agent’s head through one of the small windows. A voice from a tiny transmitter in his ear gave the all clear signal. “I’ll wait out here if you like, ma’am.” He gave Lauren his best wishing look.