First Chances (27 page)

            “Shut up,” I respond.

            “He’s just antsy,” Zach says to me with a fatherly smile. Jack is my best friend, and he’s more like a brother if I want to be honest. But his dad and mom are great people and people I secretly wish were my parents. In the twenty years we had been friends, I had been welcome to all family functions, every holiday and birthday, including my own. Every year, even at twenty-eight, Mr. and Mrs. Monroe throw me a party, just no longer equipped with party hats and pin the tail on the donkey.

            “He’s crazy in love,” I say loud enough for Jack to hear me.

            He gives me a pointed look but goes back to ripping off shingles.

            Mr. Monroe gives a slight smile. His son is very much like him: quiet, patient, kind, and loyal. All things I love about both of them and honestly, am slightly envious about. My father didn’t leave me anything, except his green eyes and a streak of bad memories I’m happy to forget.

            I pass out the drinks and head to the roof.

            “You got plans tonight?” I ask Jack.

            “Yeah, heading over to Remy’s.”

            “That two-timing hussy.” He looks at me confused. “She invited me over for some quality time.”

            His confusion is replaced with a knowing smile. “I’m telling her you called her a hussy.”

            “I’ll call her a hussy to her face.”

            He laughs, though if I were to ever call Remy a mean name, it might be the only time Jack will ever get mad at me, and I would be willing to bet, he might take a swing at me. But that’s if Remy didn’t get to me first.

Chapter 2

JA

            Remmington Crawford is like no other woman I have ever met. She’s loud, a little on the crazy side, funny and flirtatious. Besides her looks, I’m pretty sure she’s the female equivalent of me, even down to the person we love most in the world, Jack.

            She loves him because he’s the steady place she had been searching for and I love him because he didn’t judge me when I was in second grade.

            “Yoo-hoo,” she calls to me in a singsong voice. “You couldn’t find someone to hang with tonight? You had to be our third wheel?”

            I know she’s teasing me. “Well, actually, before your great return, Jack and I did everything together. You’re the one who is upsetting our natural order of things,” I say as seriously as possible. It’s when my beer can gets to my mouth that I crack my smile.

            “You two sure like to fight over me,” Jack says and I can’t help but laugh out loud at him.

            Remy on the other hand gives him a pointed look. “First two girls fight for you. Now a guy and a girl? You setting me up?”

            There’s only a brief moment of uncertainty on Jack’s face, but it fades when he realizes she’s only kidding. He’s still figuring her out. Only recently did they start dating again. Remy came to South Shore for one summer, Jack fell in love with her, she left. It took them many years, and I mean years to start dating again, no matter who I threw at him though, he never really seemed to be interested. He eventually started dating Amber, an okay girl, but I don’t know if he ever really liked her. And then Remy came back, running from an abusive ex-husband and grieving for the loss of her grandma. Though I don’t think there was any fighting done, there were some serious territorial things going on between Remy and Amber. And eventually Jack picked Remy and let Amber go. I am pretty sure that’s not over just yet.

            “And I resent being the third wheel.”

            “No, you don’t,” Remy says.

            “Okay, I don’t. But I could have a fourth wheel here.”

            “No, you couldn’t,” Jack says with a smirk.

            “You can always borrow Mia,” Remy says in a fake sweet smile. Mia is Remy’s huge ass Italian mastiff. Mia hears her name and stands up by her owner.

            “You’re a beauty, girl,” I say to the dog, “But I like my woman to be on two legs, not four.” Uncertain of what’s going on, she lays on Remy’s feet. She is a pretty awesome dog though. Remy’s ex has shown up twice and both times Mia has made it clear she would chew the guy’s face off.

            “You like too many two-legged woman,” Remy says with an eye roll.

            “What?” I ask, pretending not to know where she’s going with this.

            “I see you at Joe’s while I’m behind that bar. You’re prowling.”

            “I do not.”

            “Yeah, ya do,” Jack pipes in.

            “Are you always going to be on her side now?” I refute.

            “Possibly.”

            Remy gives a big smile to me as if to say: ha, ha.

            “Speaking of woman, I did bump into someone from high school.”

            “Who?” Jack asks.

            “I’m not sure if you would remember her, but her name’s Nicole. She’s got an older brother. We played football with him. Rob.”

            “Rob Davis,” he supplies.

            “Yeah, him. It’s his little sister.”

            He looks puzzled for a bit and then I see it click in his face. “She’s a few years younger than us?”

            “Yeah, really pretty eyes.”

            “I think so.”

            “Well, we totally ran into each other. I was getting the snacks this afternoon on the Boardwalk and we collided. I had to grab her to keep her from falling face first. I gallantly saved the drinks of course.”  Remy is smirking at me as Jack’s phone goes off.

            His face falls almost immediately and I know something is wrong.

            He hangs up and says, “My dad’s had a heart attack. I gotta go.” He moves so quickly that he’s out the door.

            “Did that just happen?” I ask Remy, unsure of how someone like Zach Monroe could have a heart attack and how quickly Jack processed it enough to move.

            “Let’s go,” Remy says. I follow her out the door and immediately wish I had driven, but am put to ease when I realize Remy’s got a lead foot. And even though she’s flying down the roads, Jack’s truck lights are nowhere to be seen. He might really be flying.

            We get to the hospital and Remy is right behind me.

            I ask the receptionist where I could find a patient who just had a heart attack and she informs me I need to be family.

            My reply is instant. “I am family.”

            She gives us the directions and my feet have me running down the halls.

            I see Jack first and even though I know Mr. Monroe is a patient, I look for him anyway. I hug Jack, quickly. I should say something to him. I can’t relate. I can’t imagine what it must feel like to have a dad you love and be in this position.

            I see Mrs. Monroe and Jack’s sister, Kylie sitting. I hug them both, a little longer like I should have hugged Jack.

            “I’m sorry,” spills out of my mouth when Mrs. Monroe lets me go.

            “Shh, Sweetie. I just need positive thoughts right now.”

            I nod, fighting back tears she doesn’t want. We sit, me in the middle of the two of them and I hold their hands, while Jack gets comfort from Remy. I can do this for Jack and Mr. Monroe.

            We sit and it feels like ages. People continue to file in. Some stay and some leave. It’s a testament to what a guy Mr. Monroe is. Jack eventually comes back to his sister and mom and I move by Remy. I need a minute to compose myself any way.

            The doctor comes out and I hear him say that Mr. Monroe is going to be okay. I don’t concentrate on anything else, except the word okay. Relief floods through me. Mrs. Monroe leaves the crowd to go see her husband. Jack will be next and I’m not sure if Kylie will go back. Jack’s restless. He needs a moment to breathe and when I’m about to drag him outside for a minute of fresh air, Remy takes him outside, at least I assume that’s where they are going.

            I sit next to Kylie. She’s got big brown eyes like her mother, but she’s blonde like her father. I might think she was beautiful if I didn’t love her like a sister.

            “He’s going to be okay?” she asks in a broken whisper.

            I give her the biggest smile I can muster and put my arm around her. “Oh yeah. Your dad is a tough guy. He’s probably ready to walk already.”

            She rests her head on my shoulder, until Mrs. Monroe comes back and shortly thereafter, Jack. I notice immediately that Remy is no longer with him and I know something has gone wrong. Jack seems to be more of a twitchy cat, no longer the picture of calm and rational thinking.

            He doesn’t say anything but goes back by his dad. I find myself between Mrs. Monroe and Kylie again. I thought he might be back there forever, but he’s back fast, telling Kylie she can go back, but he’s asleep. I think she’s relieved. I wouldn’t know what to say either.

            I do wish I could go back and see him though, just with my own eyes, know he’s alive.

            I stand up to see how he’s doing but “Where’s Remy?” comes out instead.

“She went home.”

I’m not an idiot. I know what this means. “You mean you sent her home.” He did this to Amber when his grandpa passed away. He pushed her away. “Dude, she did exactly what I was about to do. You needed a minute; she saw it. And now you’re pissed at her. I know you are having a terrible night and maybe you don’t worry about it tonight. But eventually, you’re going to have to and honestly, wouldn’t it be easier if she was here?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Jared?”

“Nothing. I just don’t want you to lose something you just got back, because this happened to your father.”

            He’s noncommittal to me. He’s heard what I just said to him and I know once he processes what has happened to his dad, he’ll go see her. He leaves me and goes to sit with his mom and sister, and suddenly I realize it’s a “family” moment, something I am not. And though the Monroes have done more for me than any family, including the joke that is mine, it’s clear this moment is for them.

            I kiss Mrs. Monroe, squeeze Kylie’s hand, and hug Jack. I head out of the hospital, only to realize that my ride was Remy and she’s long gone. The people I would call for a ride home are in the hospital, not that alone in my apartment is where I want to be right now.

            I turn to the direction of Joe’s. Maybe not home. But familiar enough, and enough familiar faces that maybe they can distract me.

***

            I step on the creaky porch and take comfort in something that is familiar, but just like Jack Monroe, eventually these stairs will give. I push the far too poetic thought from my mind.

            Beer and grease are what I breathe in. I call for the bartender to pour me a draft and ask the waitress to get me a burger. Joe, the owner is sitting at the corner of the bar, his spot, drinking his usual, bourbon.

            I take a seat next to him and the bartender passes the beer. I drink half of it before I even realize.

            “Get him another, Pete,” Joe gruffly says.

            “Thanks.”

            “You just leave the hospital?” he asks.

            “Yeah.”

            “I was going to go, but I’m no good in those situations. I figure I’ll go see that bastard when there aren’t so many people.” What he means to say is when Zach looks better.

            I finish the rest of my beer.

            We sit there talking to the people who talk to us, but never really talk to each other. I finish beer after beer.

Chapter 3

ND

            Twice in one day. This is my thought when I walk into Joe’s with Lizbeth.

            “Lookie who’s here.”

            Obviously I know who is here. It’s like a sixth sense when it comes to him. I just feel his presence.

            “How about that drink?”

            I think back to how Rachel brought up knowing Jared and how she would say something to him for me. I had insisted she not, but after working for Rachel, I was sure she was going to contact him soon. And if she already had, well I am going to need a drink to take the tense feeling I have away.

            He doesn’t look at me though.

            I watch him a little longer and realize the smooth and charming Jared Albright I had seen earlier today was unsteady. He’s drunk. We are in a bar, so that’s not out of the blue, but not really anything I’m thrilled about either.

            It doesn’t take Lizbeth long to come to this conclusion either. Her thoughts are running along the lines of me taking advantage of him.

            I decide now is definitely not the time to approach him, easy advantage or not. He’s sitting with the owner Joe, an older guy, a little gruff, and no one I really want to be buddy-buddy with.

            I remain the majority of the night, as I have spent most of my crush on him, undetected. I don’t stay this way all night though. As he’s coming back from the bathroom, I seem to catch his attention.

            “Nicole, right?”            

            It’s annoying that he sounds uncertain of my name since we just saw each other this afternoon, but I am thrilled he has come over on his own. Maybe Rachel had already texted him and it’s a good sign.

            “Yeah. I ran into you today.” Why would I have to bring up the fact that I almost ran into him, turning him and me into a giant smoothie and coffee mix?

            “Best part of my day.” I am momentarily thrown by the phrase and the fact he’s slurring. I look closer and realize his eyes are bit glazed. Great. Just great. At least he remembers my name now, even if he’s hammered. That’s why he was unsure of my name.

            “Sorry to hear that,” I reply, suddenly not wanting this to be our big moment.

            “You want to make it better?”

            “Excuse me?” flies out of my mouth. The innuendo was there, hidden by the charming, drunk smile he’s wearing.

            “I thought maybe you could make my night better. Maybe we could get out of here.”

            He’s not drunk. He’s hammered. He clearly has missed the fact I am appalled by the question.

            “I understand what you thought, and the answer is no. Move along.”

            I turn my back to him, facing Lizbeth once again. She’s smart enough not to say anything to me. Instead she calls for two shots and our tab.

            “Well, it looks like I struck out!” comes Jared’s voice loud and clear to my ears. My eyes widen by this announcement. What a drunken ass.

            I keep my back to him. I hear him though, knocking into a few bar stools. I don’t want to look. I don’t want to see the crowd of ears and eyes he is attracting right now. I get the tab.

            I hear the owner, Joe, grumble something, followed by a loud, drunk laugh. I’m glad they can yuck it up. The bartender sets the shots in front of us, Lizbeth lays down some cash, and we throw back the shots.

            “Ah, don’t leave yet, Nik. We barely even know each other.” His drunkenness is now obvious to me and probably the whole bar.

            “I don’t want to know you.” The bubble of him as prince charming has popped.

            He stands up again, this time falling on his face. There was a time I may have run over to help him stand. That time has passed.

            “Come on, let’s go,” Lizbeth urges. I follow her out the door and am ultimately disappointed by how this fun night turned out.

            “What was his problem?” she asks finally.

            “I’ve no idea.”

            But he is making a fool of himself, and then the side of me that I currently do not like, starts to ring in my ears.

            I’m not going to go help him, but I did know someone who could. I pull out my phone and shoot out a text before I talk myself out of it. If he gets into a car and gets in an accident, then I'll blame myself because I didn't do anything.”

JA

            I flinch at the sound of a coffee grinder going off. My head throbs in response and I let out a groan of pain. I rub my head into my sheets and realize I’m not in a bed, let alone my bedroom and I do not own a coffee grinder.

            “You awake yet?”

            I lift my head up over the back of the couch and see Kylie. I drop back down on her couch.

            “I have a Bloody Mary, a cup of coffee and aspirin waiting for you.”

            I stand up and catch myself before I fall back down on to the couch.

            She must have decided to take mercy on me because she comes over with both drinks and the aspirin. I take some of each, to ease my head.

            I look at her. She’s smiling at me, but it’s clear she’s tired.

            “How did I get here?”

            “I got a text last night after I got home from the hospital.” I feel like a complete ass. She was dealing with her dad and she had to take care of me.

            “Kylie, I’m so sorry.” And I am.

            “Why? Should you have driven? Should you have slept outside? Should you have stumbled into a bed of some girl you don’t know?”

            “I mean-“

            She cuts me off. “I know what you mean. But Jared, we’re family,” she says it so quickly. And I wonder if she meant to put a like in before the word family. “Besides, don’t you want to know who texted me?”

            “Whoever it was, shouldn’t have texted you, or anyone in your family.”

            “She didn’t know what happened to Dad. She did you a favor, and when my brother hears about this, he’ll agree and wonder why he wasn’t contacted.”

            “Kylie-”

            “Shut up, Jared,” she says and stands up and heads back to the kitchen.

            “When did you get so bossy?”

            “I’m not the five year old following you and my brother around. Because of you two, I had to learn to have a backbone. It was Nikki Davis, by the way, who texted me,” she says with a smirk.

            I will not admit to Kylie that I didn’t even recall seeing Nikki last night.

            “Here’s her number,” she passes me her phone displaying Nikki’s number and adds, “We’re going to see Dad today.”  She’s thrown a lot at me and all I need is a moment to process everything.

I continue to sit there, mostly because my head will not stop spinning; I stare at the phone number and copy it on to a new message.

I get the feeling, a nagging feeling, that I have something to apologize for.

Me: This is Jared Albright. I need to apologize for last night.

She doesn’t respond and after ten minutes of me still sitting there, there is still no response. I should ask more on what I did wrong, but I don’t think Kylie has much knowledge on that, and there’s nothing like having your pseudo little sister relive embarrassing drunk moments with you. Thank God I woke up with clothes on.

            “Dude, you smell like booze and you aren’t going to smell like that at the hospital. Get in the shower so we can get going.”

            “I don’t know if I should go,” I say. I clearly don’t handle it well and maybe the Monroes need some time to see Mr. Monroe.

            “No, you’re going. Dad asked to see you, specifically, first. So get up.”

            “How do you know?” I’m a little surprised by this. He’s got his family first.

            “Mom texted Jack and me at the ass crack of dawn. And I bet if you check your phone instead of staring at it, you probably have one from her too.”

            Despite my still-raging headache, I am able to pull up my messages fairly quickly.  Sure enough, I do have a message.  I’m going to the hospital. Kylie and I pull into the hospital parking lot, head up to ICU, and Remy and Jack arrive a short time after.

            Nobody seems surprised by Mr. Monroe’s request and I head back to see him. My heart is pounding in my chest. It’s a lot to take in and feels more like a movie than anything else. There are steady beeping noises, I hear air being pushed through tubes, the lighting is bright, and the only thing that’s not like a movie, are the nurses. They are seated and calm, not frantic. I hate hospitals. Thank God other people can handle working here. I never could.

            I ask the nurse where I can find Zach Monroe. She points me in the direction and I have to suck in tears and a deep breath when I see him. Zach Monroe is a strong man and to see him here is wrong. He’s got one of those beeping heart machines, but is breathing on his own. Mrs. Monroe doesn’t think they will keep him much longer than a week.

            “Hey, son,” he says, and he sounds winded to me.

            “Hi, Mr. Monroe.”

            “Glad you’re here. Wanted to see you.”

            “I wanted to see you,” I admit to him and feel like I’m that ten-year-old boy who is in awe of him again. He always played games with us. He would pick me first to be on his team. He never yelled at me. He would hoist Kylie so far up in the air and she would scream out in delight and I remember wishing I had that experience. Zack Monroe had done a lot for me over the years, but probably the biggest was giving me a place I felt welcome. And to think he almost left this earth is terrible. The world needs him. I need him.

            “How’s our family doing?” he asks. I don’t correct him.

            “They’re doing good. I think a lot better today.”

            “And you? How are you doing?”

            “I have a hangover,” I admit, and probably shouldn’t.

            He laughs. “Drinking is not the way to cope,” he says with a smirk. “Though, I’ve been there.” And there he is again, understanding me, letting me know I’m doing okay, and he’s in the hospital bed.

            “I may have learned that lesson,” I say with a smile. I don’t want him to worry about me. I would run a mile, wanting to puke the entire time, to make him believe I am okay.

            I don’t stay much longer. I know Kylie and Jack want to see him.

            My phone vibrates in my back pocket. It’s from Nikki.

Nikki: Yep.

Clearly, I was an asshole last night.

JA

            Remy, Jack and I go out to lunch to a place that isn’t far from where Nikki works. I have this intel because of Kylie. I picked this place with the hope that I’d be able to gather the courage to go and talk to Nikki.  Thank God they don’t ask questions because I don’t want to try explaining what an ass I was last night, even if I don’t truly remember what I said or did.  Our lunch arrives quickly, which is good because there’s too much quiet between the three of us. Jack’s not much of a talker, but Remy and I are, and the one time we probably need the lively conversation, we fail to give it.

            She excuses herself to go to the bathroom.

            “So Kylie told me what happened last night,” is what Jack says the moment she is out of earshot.

            I groan.

            “That Bloody Mary helping?”

            “Yes, and I didn’t mean to act like an idiot and now that girl won’t call me back.”

            “What’s her name again?”

            “Nicole Davis.”

He begins sifting through his memories.

“She’s got blonde hair, crazy cool eyes; they’re like grey smoke, but maybe blue. They’re awesome.”

“I don’t remember the eyes, but I remember the brother and her,” he says, but there’s a frown on his face. He adds, “Didn’t we help her out one night from some douche bag?”

            The memory hits me. I’m disgusted by it and can’t believe I forgot. I thought back on that night

 We had just lost our game. My football career was over and I was graduating in the spring with no future in front of me. I wanted to get drunk. I wanted to stay eighteen forever.

            I didn’t hear it first, Jack did.

            “You hear that?” he asked, grabbing my arm and causing me to stop.

            “No,” I said, but waited for him to go on.

            “Listen. That sound like people talking?”

            “Probably just making out and came up for air. Dude, maybe they are getting it on!” I said with a laugh.