First Chances (25 page)

Chapter Thirty-Five

Hadie

“That’s the thing, Hadie; I don’t want to leave. I’m exactly where I want to be,” Eddie said, taking my hand in his.

There was a swelling in my chest at his words, yet I didn’t want him to feel as though he had some obligation to stay just because of a note Lincoln had written him. I didn’t want this to be about Lincoln anymore. I wanted this to be about Eddie and me. Me and Eddie. Eddassah.

Whatever we were, whatever we wanted to be—we had to be us, not what someone else wanted us to be.

“Are you sure?” I implored, searching his eyes for any sign of uncertainty. “Because you don’t have to do this because of Lincoln. I want-”

“Stop,” he silenced me, placing a finger over my lips. His touch send a tremor through my body. “This isn’t about Lincoln. This is about us. It’s about being in love.” His eyes looked right into mine. “Hadie, love is a feeling, and I feel it for you more than I have ever felt it for anyone.

With that, he grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me in for a kiss that made my head spin. Surprisingly, the students around us erupted into cheers, causing me to blush and pull away from him.

Someone booed, and I suspected it was Riley. He was so weird.

Seeming to sense my discomfort, Eddie leaned in so close that I could see where the brown in his eyes splintered into yellows and greens. “Fuck everyone. Fuck what they think. Fuck what they say.”

He was right. It didn’t matter what anyone thought or said about us—no one was perfect. Not I, not Eddie, not even Kance with her herpes. If we focused on our imperfections, and all the things that were wrong in the world, how would we ever move on? How would we ever grow?

We wouldn’t.

“Whoo! Eddassah’s back on!” Riley cheered from somewhere behind us.

Blushing some more, I turned around to face our friends who were all watching us with smiles on their faces. Well, everyone except Ashton. Did she still hate me? I couldn’t blame her if she did.

“I’m gonna be an uncle?” Luca asked, his face full of disbelief as Eddie and I approached them, my fingers intertwining with his.

“Yep, Uncle Luca and Aunty Ashton,” Eddie said with a slow grin, turning his head towards her.

My eyes shot to Ashton who was watching me with a guarded expression on her face. Luca elbowed her in the ribs, making her grimace.

“I’m sorry, Hadie,” she said with a sniff, taking me by surprise. “You know, for yesterday. I was just trying to protect Eddie.”

“I know,” I said, completely understanding her actions. “I would do the same for my friends, too. Eddie’s lucky to have you.”

She smiled at that.

“You’re a wonderful person, Eddie,” Estella said, giving him a quick hug.

I knew why she felt that way. Other than defending me against Kance, he had also claimed the baby was his, immediately squashing any rumors that Kance was hoping to spread about who the baby’s father might be. It was pretty heroic, really.

“How far along are you?” Elly asked, a frown on her face as she studied my belly.

I didn’t know a whole lot about Elly, but I could tell she wasn’t an idiot. She had noticed my obvious baby bump and could calculate the amount of time Eddie and I had been together.

“Thirteen weeks,” I replied without hesitation.

There was no reason to lie to our friends. They deserved the truth. Mariah and Estella already knew, so we only had Eddie’s friends left to tell.

“You guys did it thirteen weeks ago?” Stacey’s blue eyes grew large. “How did I miss this?”

Eddie found my hand again and gave it a reassuring squeeze, letting me know he was here for me. This simple action filled me with confidence.

“The baby is Lincoln’s,” I said.

“Are you serious?”

“Holy crap.”

“No freaking way!”

“Shit.”

“Whoa.”

Then stunned silence as they all stared at Eddie as though they couldn’t believe what he was doing for me. To be honest, I felt like I wasn’t good enough for the guy. No guy would ever do what Eddie had done. Ever.

“Dude!” Riley exclaimed. “You are the coolest dude ever! Stop making the rest of us look bad!”

Relief flooded through me as we all started laughing. Riley’s goofiness always managed to break the tension.

“Maybe you shouldn’t take my advice from now on.” Luca was watching Eddie intently, smiling a little as he spoke. “Clearly, nice guys can finish first.”

And then everyone began speaking all at once about the baby and how they were excited to be aunts and uncles; if we were going to have a boy or a girl; how much of an influence they would be on the baby.

They were so engrossed in their conversation that they weren’t really paying attention as Eddie and I slipped away. It had been an overwhelming morning and I needed some quiet time.

“Come with me,” Eddie said, taking my hand and guiding me through the crowd and down the corridor.

Without questioning him, I followed after him, wanting to be wherever he was. Eddie took my breath away, and all I wanted to do was be close to him.

The pain and ache of the past few months was being lifted from my very being, escaping away from me, and I was letting it go. I was ready to be a woman who was strong—strong for this man, and strong for my baby. Our baby.

I was too focused on Eddie’s body, watching the way it expertly weaved through the crowd that it didn’t immediately register that we were heading out of the school building.

“Where are we going?” I asked, as we headed outside into the courtyard.

Eddie’s next words made my heart accelerate. “To see someone important.”

***

When Eddie had said we were going to see someone important, I had thought he had meant his mother or maybe my parents. Or maybe even the random librarian who had somehow played a part in the surprise date he’d set up for me.

The last person that had come to mind was Lincoln. Yet, here we were, standing in the middle of the cemetery, battling the bitter cold.

Lincoln’s grave was located on a hill right under a large tree with no other graves surrounding it. The tree’s bare, twisted branches spread out over the headstone that marked his grave. I looked at the familiar words etched onto the granite.

Lincoln Rylan Bracks

Beloved son and brother

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, we’d walk right up to Heaven and bring you home again.

With a start, I realized that one more word would have to be added to the stone—father. Lincoln hadn’t known it, but before his death he was a father. My eyes burned with tears as I stared at the words, wondering why Eddie would bring me here.

Seeing Lincoln like this always made me wallow in my pain and misery. This wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t fun—it was heartbreaking.

I turned to Eddie, brushing my tears away. He was staring at the grave transfixed, lost in his own thoughts. The note from Lincoln was fluttering in his hand as the chill breeze caught it, trying to pry it from his hand.

“Why are we here?” I asked, unable to mask the sadness from my voice.

Eddie turned to me, shaking his head as though he had forgotten I was here. “Because I want to make a promise to you, Hadie Swinton. A commitment for the rest of our lives, and I wanted to do it in front of Lincoln.”

My sadness began to drift away with his words, and a calm descended over me as I realized that being here meant something to Eddie. I had been harsh in my words to him yesterday, demanding to know if his reasons for standing by me were based on Lincoln’s note. That had been petty of me. I knew it wasn’t true—I had always known.

“A commitment?” I asked, wondering if this would turn into a bizarre cemetery proposal.

“Yes, a commitment.” He took a step closer to me, holding out his empty hand. “A commitment that I will always stand by you, Hadie.”

His steady, unwavering gaze was captivating. I took his hand, letting the warmth from his fingers flow into my body.

“Always?”

“Yes, Hadie. Always,” he said, his expression serious. "I will risk anything with you. The heartbreak, the fighting, the ups and the downs. Yeah, we're taking a chance on each other, but I want to take these first chances with you."

I took a shuddering breath, studying Eddie’s handsome face and loving the way his eyes always seemed to grow warm when he was looking at me. Like right now. All the colors in his eyes were melting into one as he looked down on me.

It was clear he meant every word, and with every word he spoke, I fell more and more in love with the man he was. Nevertheless, doubt crept into my mind. My eyes flickered over Eddie’s face, recognizing how young he was to commit to one girl and her baby for the rest of his life.

“What if it becomes too much one day?” I questioned, casting my eyes down at the snow-covered ground. “What if you want something different?”

"Even if your life falls apart around you, I will never leave your side.” Eddie lifted my chin up with a finger so I was looking at him again. “We will get through this together. I know we will."

And I believed him—I believed every single word.

“I would kiss you, but we’re in a cemetery and it’s kind of kinky weird,” I said, glancing around us.

Eddie let out a deep laugh that filled me with warmth. “Don’t worry, Hadie, we have the rest of our lives to kiss.”

Chapter Thirty-Six

- Six Months Later -

Eddie

My baby was finally here.

I sat on the edge of the bed beside Hadie staring at her in amazement. She lay in Hadie’s arms, wrapped up in a fluffy, yellow blanket that had been Hadie’s when she was a baby. She had a tuft of dark hair and the bluest eyes I’d ever seen.

Seeing her in front of me was surreal—my little girl. I had been waiting so long to meet her that the wait had been almost painful. I was sure it had been worse for Hadie, but I had definitely started getting impatient in the last few weeks.

Hadie’s parents, my mom, Howard, and Hailie were all gathered around the bed, fawning over the baby. The last nine hours were a blur. We’d been at Hadie’s parents’ house when her water had broken, and since then everything had seemed chaotic until the moment our daughter had been born.

Now a sense of peace and calm had descended upon me.

“We are the hottest grandparents ever,” Mr. Swinton said to his wife as they studied her. “I’ll be a certified GILF.”

I stifled a laugh as Hadie rolled her eyes at him. “A GILF? Really, Dad? Where did you pick that up?”

“On the Twitter, of course,” he responded quite seriously.

“I want to hold her again, but I think your friends will break down the door if they don’t get to see her soon,” Mom said to me.

“Good point,” Howard said. “We’ll wait outside so they can meet her.”

With some final kisses and hugs, our family filed out of the room. In that few seconds of calm, Hadie and I exchanged a look before our eyes fell back on the baby. We were parents. This was our little girl.

Then all hell broke loose as our friends rushed into the room, carrying flowers and balloons of all shapes and sizes.

“About freaking time!” Mariah exclaimed, rushing to Hadie’s side. “Let me see her!”

Riley had a camera around his neck and immediately began taking pictures of the baby as though he didn’t have a second to lose. Everyone else placed their congratulatory presents around us before forming a semi-circle around the bed.

“Riley, stop taking pictures of me,” Hadie said, shooting him a death glare. “I look like absolute crap.”

After being in labor for eight hours, Hadie looked incredible. There was a glow about her as she held our daughter; something inside of her was light and happiness, radiating outwards. I couldn’t even put into words how much I loved this woman.

“Hey, I’m just trying to get some pictures of my beautiful niece,” he said defensively as he skirted around Luca and zoomed into the baby’s face with his giant camera that a creepy paparazzi guy would have.

“Don’t worry, you look great,” Stacey assured Hadie.

Which was the absolute truth.

“Shotgun! I’m holding her first,” Mariah announced, extending her arms out to Hadie.

They had all camped out in the hospital, waiting for the baby to be born, so I could understand her impatience. Our daughter was incredibly lucky to have such doting aunts and uncles.

“Really? You’re going to call shotgun on a baby?” Estella frowned as Mariah shrugged at her. “Fine, but there’s a five minute time limit because I need baby snuggles too.”

Hadie chuckled and handed the baby carefully over to Mariah, watching as her best friend stared down at the baby in wonder. “Gosh, she’s beautiful. Look at those eyes.”

She did have incredible eyes—as blue as Lincoln’s. It was still hard to tell who she looked more like; all I knew was the more I looked at her, the more I fell hopelessly in love.

“Congrats again, man,” Luca said, patting me on the back. “You better get that shotgun because she’s gonna have all the guys chasing after her.”

I hadn’t even thought about the fact that one day she would grow up and start dating. I wasn’t quite ready to accept that truth yet.

“C’mon, Ray! We all want a turn!” Estella snapped, tapping the gold watch around her slender wrist. “Your five minutes are up.”

“Fine, but I want seconds.” Mariah grudgingly handed the baby over to Estella, who seemed eager to hold her.

“Will Vincent be coming to see the baby?” Hadie asked, her tone casual.

Estella’s demeanor stiffened a little, but her tone was pleasant as she spoke. “Of course. Uncle Vincent can’t wait to see his niece. He had to work today, but we’ll be back to visit tomorrow.”

For a moment, there was an awkwardness in the air. Vincent Madden hadn’t been a huge part of our lives throughout Hadie’s pregnancy. He had hung out with us a couple of times, but I could tell that he still felt weird about Hadie and me, which was understandable.

Three was his best friend after all, and Hadie had broken his heart. He was in a strange position considering Hadie was Estella’s best friend. Still, Estella and Vincent were very serious, and considering they lived together, he was going to be an important part of our lives.

“Well, tell him we’d love to see him,” I said with a bright smile.

Estella glanced up at me, flashing me a sincere smile. “I will. I’m sure he’d love to show his little niece how to fix cars one day.”

I had to laugh at that. It’d be pretty funny to see which one of her aunts and uncles our little girl would be most influenced by. Maybe she’d dress like a Goth like her Uncle Luca had used to, or maybe she’d be a cheerleader like her Aunty Ashton.

Then there was Estella. Maybe her kind nature and willingness to help others would rub off on our daughter. Or Riley’s complete randomness. Or Stacey’s toughness. Maybe even Elly’s observant nature or Mariah’s fun personality.

Either way, I felt a deep sense of comfort knowing that our friends would be a part of our daughter’s life, of our life. Sometimes family wasn’t something you were born into; it was something that was built on trust and love. Like my friends. Like Mr. and Mrs. Swinton. Like Howard. Like Hadie.

And now our daughter would grow up and get to experience all that love from a family that had been created. A family that would do anything for her.

My father hadn’t set a great example for me, but when he had walked out on us, he had taught me to be a better person. I would never let my girl feel as though I was only temporary in her life. No, I would always be there for her. A permanent, steadying presence, someone she could depend on.

“Riley!” Hadie snapped, shooting him daggers. “If you take one more picture of me, I am going to shove that camera somewhere where the sun don’t shine!”

Riley immediately put his camera down and held his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. Jeez. I thought the mood swings only happened during the pregnancy.”

Stacey smacked him across the back of the head. “Stop complaining and come over here and hold your niece.”

Elly, who had been holding the baby up until now, handed her over to Riley, who seemed a little freaked out.

“Uh, do I hold her head, or do I hold her like this?” His eyes were panicked as he held her awkwardly in his arms, as though he was cradling a cactus. He definitely wasn’t a natural at this. “Oh, crap, I don’t want to drop her.”

“Give her to me!” Stacey barked, taking the baby away from him before he lost his cool even further.

Riley seemed relieved once she was out of his arms. “She’s cute and all, but man it’s stressful holding a baby.”

I fixed him with a stern look. “Yeah, if you’d dropped her that probably would’ve been the end of our friendship.”

Riley fixed me with an equally stern look. “Hey, man, I thought it was bros before hoes.”

I took a menacing step forward. “Are you calling my daughter a ho?”

We stared each other down until I couldn’t hold the serious expression on my face any longer. A smile crept onto my face as Riley and I both started cracking up.

“Speaking of names,” Ashton said, taking the baby into her arms as Luca looked on. “What are you calling her?”

That caught everyone’s attention, and they all looked towards Hadie and me expectantly. Once we’d found out we were having a girl, we both managed to agree on a first name that we thought would be perfect. The middle name was even easier to choose; it had been in Hadie’s mind as soon as she’d found out she was pregnant.

The last name was where we both struggled, since it could go three ways. She could be a Swinton, like Hadie; a Bracks, like her father; or a Cavallari, like me. We had been torn between our options. Each name seemed fitting, but in the end we went with what we knew would work best in the future.

“Emma Rylan Cavallari,” Hadie said with a smile, looking up at me.

I leaned over and kissed her forehead, feeling incredibly grateful to have her. In the end, the choice had been Hadie’s, but it made me happy knowing that she was confident in our future together as a family.

“Emma!” Mariah clapped her hands together. “I love it!”

“Rylan?” Riley turned to Hadie, wide-eyed. “If you wanted to name the baby after me, you didn’t need to hide it.”

Hadie rolled her eyes at him. “Rylan is Lincoln’s middle name.”

“Well, it’s absolutely perfect,” Ashton said, rocking Emma as she brought her back to Hadie.

“I’ll take her,” I said quickly, already missing the way she felt in my arms.

Ashton kissed Emma’s forehead before handing her over to me. She was quiet, looking up at me with big eyes. She took my finger in her tiny hand, and I fell even more in love with her.

Everything about her was perfect, from her tiny fingers to her button nose. She was perfect, and I loved her in a way that I had never loved anyone else before. This was my daughter, Emma. She had made me a father.

As I glanced up, I caught Hadie’s eye. Her face was still glowing, exuding light and happiness as she watched us. These were my girls. This was my family. And I would never give up on them.

My eyes sought Emma’s innocent face again as she yawned, her eyes fluttering shut. This was my Emma, and I would never give up on her.

That’s what Lincoln would have wanted.