First Chances (17 page)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Hadie

My heart was fluttering with anticipation as I pulled my hair back into a high ponytail. My hair was still purple, though I was kind of starting to miss the old me. Maybe it was about time to go back to my normal, boring brown.

I mean, who had made the rule that it wasn’t cool to be normal or boring? Maybe that was who I was and there was nothing wrong with being myself. Both times that I’d hung out with Eddie hadn’t even involved drinking or smoking, and we’d had plenty of fun. And sex.

A twinge of guilt shot through me, but I couldn’t feel bad for liking someone, could I? A huge part of me was relieved that I wasn’t spending so much time with Three anymore. Being rebellious—well, rebellious compared to what I’d been like before—was hard work. Especially when it didn’t come naturally.

Now it was time to come back to myself.

Right now, I was getting ready to meet Eddie at the dead garden, which was why my heart was currently dancing around in my chest. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen me before, but now something had changed.

I was his
girlfriend
. I hadn’t been anyone’s girlfriend since Lincoln, and a part of me was actually okay with that fact. A part of me was giddy-happy about it. Eddie made my heart swim laps around my chest. I was so eager to see him that I started getting ready way ahead of time.

After I had done my makeup—which wasn’t as bold as I usually did it when I hung out with Three—I opened up my closet and rifled through my sweater collection.

Yes, I had a sweater collection. There was nothing wrong with a good, ol’ sweater. Or twenty. Sweaters could be cool, okay?

After deciding on a cream-colored sweater with cascading ruffles on the back, I picked out a pair of blue, denim jeans, thinking they would look pretty good together. That was, if they fit.

No, seriously. Neither of them would fit.

I tried the whole ‘laying down on the bed and pulling the jeans on’ trick, which didn’t work. Then I tried standing up and jumping into them, which didn’t work either. My sweater did fit—sort of—but only because the fabric stretched to fit across my belly.

What the-?

As I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering how I had managed to put on so much weight, my phone began to ring. Walking over to my desk, I saw it was Estella who was calling.

“Hey, Estee!” I said, unable to hide the enthusiasm in my voice as I answered the phone. “What’s up?”

I was actually happy. I was actually looking forward to something. It was hard to remember the last time I’d been like this. It was starting to remind me of the girl I’d been a long time ago. I had forgotten that I could still be this girl.

“Hadie, I’m going to get straight to the point,” Estella began, “I want you to know that I love you, but I have to be real with you.”

At her words, the excitement I’d been feeling was immediately sapped away. Something was seriously wrong if this was how she was going to start the conversation.

“What’s wrong, Estella?” I asked, my heartbeat increasing with trepidation. “Did something happen?”

Estella sighed, pausing for a second as though she was trying to gather her thoughts. “I was supposed to be there yesterday when Eddie surprised you. So was Mariah.” She paused again, and I wondered where the frick this was going. “Hadie, I was with Three and Vincent. I was telling Vincent what Three had done, because Vincent is the only person Three will listen to.”

My heart sank down low into a stomach full of writhing worms. Three listened to Vincent because he had always been forefront in the Madden gang. If Three had done something that had made Estella go to Vincent, then it was something pretty serious.

“What did Three do?” I asked, though a part of me was dreading the answer.

“He brought two of his friends by Eddie’s house yesterday, trying to prevent him from seeing you.” Estella sucked in a deep breath, and I could tell she was trying hard not to cry. “They roughed him up, Hadie. Who knows what else they would’ve done if we hadn’t gotten there in time.”

“W-what?” I stumbled backwards, the back of my legs meeting the edge of my bed, and I sat down on it heavily as Estella’s words circled inside my head. “But he seemed fine yesterday-” Then I stopped, remembering Eddie’s face in the dimness of the conference room. “I saw the swelling on his face, but he said he’d fallen.”

“Because he didn’t want to ruin your night, Hadie,” Estella said, sounding teary. “He wanted everything to go perfectly. That boy would do anything for you, and look what happened to him!”

There was a buzzing inside my head. Every good feeling in my body drained away as she spoke.

“I wasn’t trying to hurt him,” I whispered, almost to myself.

“Do you understand what you’ve done? What you’ve caused?” She was relentless, her tone scathing. “You strung Three along, giving him hope that something could happen between the two of you. Three isn’t a bad person, but your actions pushed him into doing something so messed up. Because of you, Eddie was hurt. You don’t play with people’s feelings like that, Hadie.”

My mouth fell open at her words. She had never spoken to me like that before. Estella had always been calm and patient, but now she seemed like a completely different person. She’d tiptoed around me, always taking my feelings into consideration, but now she was being real with me, and that reality was causing my head to spin.

“I-I didn’t mean to,” I stammered, not knowing what else to say.

“But you did,” she said, sounding frustrated with my response. “What happened to you, Hadie?”

“I-I.” My mind went blank at her words. There was nothing I could say to her. I had done something terrible, and I hadn’t even realized it. I had toyed with a boy’s feelings for no reason, and Eddie had gotten hurt in the process. “I have to see Three.”

“Hadie-” she started to say, but I cut her off.

“I’ll talk to you later.”

With that, I hung up the phone as my mind began to kick into gear. How could Three do something so terrible to Eddie? Poor Eddie, who would never hurt anyone. He didn’t deserve that.

I had to find Three. I still had enough time before my date with Eddie to drive down to Penthill and get back before he knew any different. Maybe I’d be a little late, but I could message him later if I was running late.

Anger and frustration and devastation were coursing through me as I sent Three a quick message.

Where are you? I need to see you ASAP!

As I waited for his response, I decided to wear some thick, woolly leggings instead. I didn’t want to go through the disappointment of trying on another pair of jeans and discovering they didn’t fit either because of the weight I had unintentionally put on. Was it from drinking alcohol?

Okay, yes, I was purposely thinking about insignificant things like weight gain so that my mind wouldn’t immediately jump to more serious matters, like what Three had done to Eddie. I honestly did feel terrible if Three thought I’d been leading him on, but it wasn’t like we’d been going steady or anything. All we’d been doing was hanging out. There was no reason for him to turn into a jealous psychopath.

Just as I was pulling on a pair of brown ankle boots, my phone ‘pinged’ twice, letting me know that I had two messages.

The first message was from Estella.

I didn’t mean to attack you and hurt your feelings. Please call me if you need to talk.

It was nice that she’d messaged me, but I wasn’t about to call her. I had more pressing matters to tend to, and they all had to do with the second person who had messaged me—Three.

I’m at the shop. What’s wrong?

I ignored his question.

I’ll come to you. Wait for me there

He sent back a shorter response this time.

Ok

Grabbing my purse and keys, I headed out the front door to where my car was parked in the driveway. Getting in, I backed out of the driveway and sped down the street, the edges of my mind blurred as I thought about the mess I had created.

It was completely unreasonable for me to drive thirty minutes to Penthill so that I could confront Three about what he’d done, but there was a good hour left before I had to meet Eddie, and I knew I could get away with being a little late.

There was no way I could wait another moment without seeing Three and giving him a piece of my mind. He couldn’t get away with being a bully and a thug. I should’ve known from the start that it was a bad idea getting involved with someone from a notorious gang, but I had made that mistake and now I was going to make sure Three never did something like this again.

Taking the exit out of town, I raced down the long road that connected Statlen and Penthill, passing the place where Three and I often stopped at on the side of the road. I knew I shouldn’t have been speeding, but it did help me get to Penthill in a little over twenty minutes, so I wasn’t complaining.

I pulled up right outside the body shop Three worked at and swiftly jumped out of the car, trying to see if I could catch sight of him. Glancing around, I noticed him hunched over a car, doing something to the engine with a metal, tool thing.

Yes, I’d just called it a metal, tool thing. I knew as much about cars and tools as Three probably knew what the names of Elizabeth Bennett’s sisters were. Which was zero, unless he had a secret fascination with nineteenth century Austen novels.

“Three,” I called out, choosing to remain by my car instead of walking over to him.

Three straightened up and turned around, and in the light of the auto shop I saw the guilt and uncertainty on his face. He wiped his greasy hands off on a dirty rag and tossed it onto the ground before walking towards me.

As I watched him approach, a slow anger began to simmer within me. It wasn’t right what he’d done; this could never happen again. It was done, here and now.

“Hey,” he said, running a hand through his hair as he glanced off to the side. “What’s up?”

There was no denying how attractive Three was—tall, lean, muscular, captivating blue eyes—but you couldn’t pick the person you wanted to be with based on looks. Relationships had to be built on substance, and ours wasn’t.

“Estella told me what you did to Eddie,” I said immediately, not beating around the bush.

“I figured she would,” Three said, a frown on his face as his eyes locked with mine.

The guilt was gone from his face. Instead, he simply seemed annoyed that I was here, bringing the subject up.

A silence drifted upon us, as cold as the night. Neither of us moved or said anything; we simply stared at each other, making our own observations. I wasn’t sure what was going through Three’s mind, but when I looked at him, it finally hit me that this man and I had nothing in common.

This man was a renegade, out of my control, and I didn’t want to tame him. I wanted safety, stability, and certainty. I wanted to be loved for all my accomplishments and mistakes. I wanted Eddie.

“Why did you do it?” I asked finally, unable to stand his poker face any longer. “Why did you hurt him?”

Three’s gaze was unwavering as he spoke. “Because you hurt me.”

The insensitivity of his words struck me hard, and the simmering in my chest grew to burning rage. I stepped forward and smacked him hard across the face, breathing heavily. “That’s not a reason to hurt him! He never did anything to you!”

Red splotches appeared on Three’s cheek, but he didn’t make a move. He simply stood there, chest heaving as his eyes turned dark. “Don’t try to make me out to be the bad guy, Hadie. Don’t even fucking try. This was all you. You made me think that there could be something between us. You led me on.”

“I-” My mouth couldn’t form words as I stared at Three, the anger ebbing from my body as he spoke. He was right. I had led him on. This wasn’t his fault; it was my fault. I had done this to Eddie. To him.

I had acted out of character, trying to be a girl I wasn’t, simply because I was grieving. My time with Three had been a way for me to escape. In treating Three that way, I had hurt him as well as Eddie.

This revelation hit me hard, and I backed away from Three, my head spinning. How had I let this happen? How had I become this way? How had I turned into someone who had simply stopped caring?

“Why?” I gasped, as my back hit the side of my car. “Why did you even want there to be something between us? We’re from completely different worlds, Three!” I straightened up, glaring at him again as though it was somehow his fault for allowing this to happen.

Of course, it wasn’t his fault, but I was so disappointed in myself, so upset by the monster I was that I wanted to feel better somehow.

What I hadn’t expected was for Three to answer—an answer that I hadn’t seen coming.

“Maybe I thought we could have what Estella and Vincent have. Something permanent, steady, life-changing.” He let out a dry laugh. “I did this because I have a fucked up life. My parents are drug addicts, the lowest of the lowest. Growing up, my dad liked to kick me around. I thought you could be my Estella. I thought you could save me like she saved Vincent. Pretty stupid, right?”

My eyes shot to the scar on his brow; the one I had never asked about. The one I had never cared to ask about. My stomach crawled as it dawned on me how Three had gotten his scar. I knew nothing about Three’s story, and I had been indifferent to it.