Fireflies and Magnolias (33 page)

By the time she was finished, Daddy’s color was gray, and Tory and Tammy were crying too.

“I’m so sorry,” she said for the tenth time. “I’m just so sorry.”

Daddy rose from his chair and walked over to her. He held his hands out, so she let go of Tammy and placed her hands in his. He drew her into his arms.

“Nothing in this family is unforgiveable, darlin’,” he said in a voice that quavered. “
Nothing.
”

She cried in his arms and felt his own tears wet the top of her head.

“Oh, sugar,” he kept repeating, rocking her back and forth.

When they finally broke apart, he kept one arm around her. She looked at her brother. She’d only seen that devastation in his eyes once before, right after he was disowned, thrown out by his own family. It was a pain she’d never wanted to see in his face again, least of all cause.

“Rye, I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”

His eyes turned wet, and he pursed his lips like he was fighting the urge to cry with the rest of them. “I heard everything you said, but I still can’t believe you’d hurt your family like this.”

Tears rolled down her face. “I know there are no excuses for what I’ve done. I
know
it.”

“She was trying to make sure I didn’t go back to Sterling, Rye,” Tammy said, drawing everyone’s eyes to her. “I’ve known for a few days now, and I’ve had to ask myself if that was a possibility.”

Tammy’s gaze locked with hers, and she could see the pain in her sister’s eyes. It was the pain of self-reflection.

“I might have gone back to him, Rye. Daddy had just had a heart attack, and you’d just come back to Meade. Everything was a mess, and I was screaming on the inside. I can’t say for certain I…wouldn’t have returned to Sterling, to what I knew.”

“Bullshit!” Rye shouted, rising off the couch, hands turning into fists by his sides. “That’s bullshit, Tammy, and I hate that she made you think that of yourself.”

“You weren’t there, Rye, day in and day out, hearing her blame a sprained wrist or rib on a horse riding accident,” Amelia Ann yelled back, unable to stop herself now. “You weren’t there!”

Daddy patted her trembling back. “No, he wasn’t. I was…and I…remember. I didn’t want to believe Tammy was being hurt either, that something so evil was possible. My mind rebelled from the very thought, but there was suspicion that clung inside me like a blood-sucking parasite when I heard Tammy give her excuses. We were all to blame for not doing anything about it, and I’ll go to my grave regretting my passivity.”

Tammy leaned against Daddy’s shoulder, and he made room for her too, holding them both.

“Daddy, no one could have helped me then. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t speak up for myself, and in the end, it was Rye taking matters into his own hands that gave me the final push I needed to escape my marriage. I look back on our conversation that night, when Rye offered Sterling the money, and I’m not sure who really asked Sterling for the divorce. Was it me? Or was it Rye?”

“I won’t stand for any more of this talk,” Rye said in a loud voice. “You wanted to leave Sterling, and I helped. End of story. As for you going back to him, Tammy, that’s bullshit. Amelia Ann’s actions were immature and rash, and I hope she’s learned her lesson.”

“Rye,” Tory said softly, rising and putting a hand on his arm.

“Don’t ‘Rye’ me. What Amelia Ann did was inexcusable. She called a tabloid…a fu—freaking tabloid about the private workings of her own family. Her own family! Don’t try and put lipstick on that pig.”

“No one’s doing that, Rye,” Daddy said in a firm tone. “But we can see why a young woman who was scared her sister might return to a husband who beat her—with her niece and nephew, mind you—would think her last resort was to publicly humiliate her sister so she couldn’t go back to him. I may not like what happened, but I understand it. I thought you would be man enough to understand it too.”

Rye stuck his chin out. “I’m sorry you’re disappointed in me, sir.”

Amelia Ann bit her lip. Rye hadn’t called Daddy
sir
like that since they’d made amends.

“Maybe I should go,” Amelia Ann said, fighting the urge to start bawling again. “I don’t want to cause any more hurt between anyone.”

“Too late,” Rye snapped, staring at her with tortured, heated eyes.

“We’ll go too, then,” Daddy said, rubbing her back. “Perhaps a little time for reflection will bring compassion back into your heart, son.”

Rye scrubbed at his eyes as he turned away and stared out the back windows.

Tory stepped in front of him, putting a hand on his chest. “Don’t let them leave like this,” she whispered in an anguished voice. “You’ve all come so far together.”

“Not enough, it seems,” Rye replied in a harsh tone.

Tammy walked a few steps toward him. “I don’t understand why you’re being this way, Rye. What Amelia Ann did affected me the most out of everyone, and I managed to forgive her. I hope you can do the same—for all our sakes. I’m pretty…fond of the family we’ve become, and it will break my heart in two if we lose it.”

Tears were streaming down everyone’s faces now, including Daddy. Rye kept his face averted from them, his stance uncompromising.

“I’m sorry, Rye,” she entreated one last time. “I’ll do everything I can to make it right. Just…don’t stop…being my brother.”

The muscles in his back flinched, but he didn’t move.

In defeat, she wiped her face. “I’ll be going.”

“You can come over to my house, honey,” Daddy said. “We can talk this out more there.”

“I’ll meet you,” Tammy added.

When Rye didn’t budge, Tory followed them to the front door and embraced each of them, saving Amelia Ann for last. Her sister-in-law hugged her fiercely.

“It’s a big shock to him,” she said. “He’ll come around. He loves you, Amelia Ann.”

In that moment, she wasn’t sure her brother loved her enough, and as she left his house, she wondered if she’d ever be invited to return.

By the time she made it back to her townhouse, Amelia Ann’s entire body was hollow. Daddy and Tammy had talked with her over tea, and together they’d faced down the demons of the past. They’d shared all their old fears and regrets about Tammy’s marriage with Sterling. Daddy hadn’t said too much, but he broke down crying at one point and said he’d been a failure as a father. He begged them to forgive him.

If her heart hadn’t been broken before, hearing that, seeing him like that, would have broken it into a million tiny pieces.

By the end of their time together, everyone had agreed that while they might not be completely healed from past events, they’d achieved a mighty lot today.

No one mentioned Rye. He would have to come to terms with the truth in his own way. Amelia Ann wasn’t sure what that looked like, and she feared Clayton’s reaction now like the larger-than-life boogey monster in the closet. Before, she’d thought for sure he would understand, his love would be great enough for him to forgive, but Rye hadn’t…and the two were an awful lot alike in some ways.

A strong sense of foreboding weighed down on her shoulders as she let herself in her townhouse. He was waiting for her on the couch, and he rose the minute she closed the door. She let him gather her into his arms, taking comfort from his touch.

“Can you tell me now?” he whispered against her neck.

Nodding, she took his hand and led him to the couch. He sat beside her.

“Whatever it is, I love you,” he said, causing tears to streak down her face.

She took a cleansing breath and stared into his worried gray eyes. “I was the leak.”

His head darted back. “What?”

“I called the tabloid because I wanted to humiliate Tammy so badly she could never go back to Sterling.”

His whole face seemed to turn hard right before her eyes—just like her brother’s had.

She made herself press on. “I was afraid for Tammy and Rory and Annabelle, and I…didn’t see any other way to protect her. Them. Clayton, I’m so sorry. You can’t know how much.”

He shoved her hand away and rose, towering over her, radiating rage and horror. Then he turned his back to her. And started moving toward her front door.

He was leaving her.

Even though exhaustion seemed to have been poured into the very marrow of her bones, she darted off the couch and followed him.

“Tammy has forgiven me, and so has Daddy. Clayton, please talk to me. I love you.”

He opened the door and met her gaze. The man who’d said he loved her was gone, extinguished like a candle by her one admission. “There’s nothing more to say.”

And he walked out on her, true to his word.

After crying for almost an hour, Amelia Ann finally took a shower and had a cup of tea. Clayton’s reaction was like a death sentence to their relationship. Were his own morals so rigid he couldn’t forgive her for failing to live up to them?

Well, until he told her why, she wouldn’t know. Certainly pulling a horse through a thunderstorm was easier than getting Clayton to talk about his feelings, but now wasn’t the time for her to surrender in defeat. She summoned all her remaining energy and drove to his house.

The lights were on, and his truck was parked out front. He was home.

She knocked on the door, but he didn’t answer it. “Clayton, I know you’re in there. Please open the door and talk to me. I love you! I can’t make things right between us unless you tell me why you’re so upset.”

Her raised voice didn’t bring him to her, nor did pounding on his front door. He wasn’t going to come, she realized, and she kicked the door in frustration.
You’re just like my brother
, she wanted to yell, but that thought only made her cry. Rye, her beloved brother, had turned away from her too.

Resting her head against his door, she thought wildly for something she could say that would make him open it. Then she realized what would do it.

“Clayton, I’m going to ride Odin. Right now. If you don’t open this door.”

The night was overcast and dark. Fall was creeping into the ground, stealing summer’s coveted position.

“I mean it!” she shouted even though she knew riding in the dark would be one of those rash actions Rye had accused her of earlier.

Tonight she didn’t care. She wasn’t going to let another man she loved ice her out. Not without a fight. And she knew better than anyone how to fight with Clayton.

“Fine! I’m going to the barn.”

Striding off, she prayed he’d come so she wouldn’t actually have to make good on her threat.

The barn smelled of fresh hay and manure, and the horses snuffled when she turned on the lights. She headed to Odin’s stall, fighting the urge to cry in defeat. The black horse nudged her with his wet nose, and she wrapped her hand in his mane, tears starting to roll down her cheeks.

“Get away from my horse!” Clayton shouted. “And get the hell off my land.”

So, she’d sprung the lock after all, and a bellowing giant had been released.

She dashed away the tears on her face before turning to face him. “No! Not until you tell me why you’re so upset. I didn’t do anything to you.”

The punch he gave the nearby stall made her belly quiver. “You didn’t do anything to
me?
You lied to me! You made me think you were different.”

She blinked. “Different. What do you mean?”

The long strides he took across the barn pounded in time with the beating of her heart.

“I thought I could trust you. I…goddammit…I gave my
heart
to you. And you’re no different than her.”

Dread wrapped its icy cloak around her. There
had
been someone else. “Who?”

“Amanda. She was a tabloid reporter who cozied up to me to learn stuff about your brother—and my daddy. I fell for her. Hard. She forgot to mention what she did for a living.”

“Oh, Clayton.”

“You want to hear the whole ugly story? Well, I thought I was in love with her, and she betrayed my best friend and boss to her tabloid. And shared my memories of the night my daddy died.”

The pain she felt for him was an agony in her chest. “Oh, honey,” she whispered and extended a hand to him in sympathy.

The whites of his eyes were a bit wild, and she lowered her hand when he didn’t take it.

“You’re just like her.”

The arrow found its mark. “Clayton, it’s not the same.
I’m
not the same. I was trying to protect Tammy and Rory and Annabelle. Please…I love you. I’m not like her. I would never betray you.”

He crossed his arms, closing her out. “I don’t believe you.”

“I know what I did was horrible, but I’m making amends for it. You’ve seen what I’m doing at the clinic. Clayton, please. Don’t do this. You love me.”

“I got over it before,” he scoffed. “I reckon I can get over it again.”

The finality of his voice terrified her, and she wrung her hands. “Clayton…please listen. I’ll do anything you ask to prove you can trust me.”

“I might be able to understand your reasons, princess,” he said, and this time his nickname for her was filled with derision.

She almost doubled over at the pain that exploded inside her.

“I might even be able to forgive you for hurting Rye and the rest of your family,” he continued in a harsh tone. “But I’ll never be able to trust you again.
Ever.
Go home, Amelia Ann.”

One of the horses kicked their stall door, probably distressed by his tone, and she jumped. There would be no reaching him. Not tonight.

“I know you’re angry, but I want you to think, Clayton, and think hard. Everything you and I have shared was real. What happened with Tammy was…an impossible situation.”

He looked away, his jaw ticking in anger.

“I was a different person then. I handled it the only way I knew how. And I’ve always told you the truth.”

His hands latched onto her arms before she could blink, and she gasped.

“This is what you and Tammy were talking about on Monday night.” He shook her. “Wasn’t it?”

She nodded.

He let her go. “Today’s Saturday, princess. Do the math.”

“So I waited a few extra days to tell my family. I think you should understand why I had to tell them first.”