Fireflies and Magnolias (20 page)

Why couldn’t he admit he didn’t want to get hurt too? Again, she had the sense there was something else from his past that had erected these walls beyond his daddy dying. There had to be.

The horse’s black mane was silky to the touch. “I don’t want either of us to be hurt, but we can’t keep denying this spark between us. Not after the other night. Not to use an old farm saying, but don’t you think that horse is out of the barn?”

His windy sigh stirred the hairs on the back of her neck as he turned to face her. “Maybe it should go back into the barn. That’s part of why I told Rye. It wasn’t just out of guilt, although God knows I feel plenty of that. I hoped his disapproval would knock some sense into me.”

The slice to her heart didn’t surprise her, but it still hurt. “You’re overthinking this and patronizing me. I decide where I want to be and how I feel, and so do you. Why can’t we just be together and then figure it out?”

If there was one thing she knew about Clayton, he would be resistant to any talk of love and permanence.

“Honey, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not the kind of woman who wants to wait to see where things go.”

She turned away from Odin and faced him. “You have a lot of opinions about me—most of which are wrong. How do
you
know what I want? I want to be a lawyer. I want to help people. And I want to explore this thing between us.” Her face flushed. “You know I’ve never been with a man. No man has ever made me want that until you. I’m ready for that experience.”

“Christ, you’re honest. Your brother would kill me.”

“My brother knows we’re adults. He’ll come ‘round. And yes, I’m honest. Deep down, I know you don’t like to play games, and after growing up with them, I don’t like it either. Well, we’ve been playing games since I asked you to dance at Rye’s wedding. We do best when we’re straightforward with each other, don’t you think?”

His gray eyes seemed fathomless as they stared into hers. “I still think we should call it quits right now. Forget it ever happened. It would be the safest thing to do.”

There was sadness and hunger in his eyes as he said it, and she could sense the inner war playing out within him. Well, she hadn’t thought this would be easy, but she could dig her heels in with the best of them. “Kiss me like you did the other night and tell me that again.”

“You can’t just do sex, sugar, and…shit…with you, neither can I.”

That admission was like a lantern in the fog. “Then let’s just admit it. We care about each other, and it scares us.”

He shook his head. “I never suspected you could be this direct. It’s a bit…unnerving.”

Unnerving him was her greatest power, she realized, even if doing so made her vulnerable. “I care about you, and I want you. I can’t be any more direct than that.”

April rested her head on Amelia Ann’s shoulder, almost as if in female solidarity.

“Let’s saddle these horses and ride,” Clayton said, not answering her. “We don’t have much sunlight left.”

Impatience surfaced inside her, and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from responding in frustration. She evened her steps to match her pace with April’s, trailing her hand over the horse’s neck.

They would ride the horses together, a joy she had never expected to experience with him.

She was here at his home, walking with him as the afternoon faded into night.

For now it would have to be enough.

Amelia Ann must have woven a spell around him because he actually let her ride Odin. How could he have refused the excitement radiating from her eyes as she asked again, so sweetly, her arm wrapped around the mane of his favorite horse?

His mama’s helmet fit her perfectly, and she’d swung onto the horse without assistance. He’d been hoping to give her a leg up, wanting the excuse to feel her body again.

She had a good seat, and he loved seeing the strong line of her back and shoulders as much as those sexy blond curls bouncing as she and the horse moved together.

They walked the horses down the lane, and he angled them over to the north pasture where the horse trail began. His property spanned ten acres, Dare River cutting through the tail end of it. One of the first things he’d done after buying the house four years ago was to clear a riding path. It had helped make the house into a home.

She laughed when Odin gave a gentle tug on the reins. “Yeah, you’re ready. Aren’t you boy? Can we trot now?”

Clayton nodded, and they both took off, rising and falling in their saddles beside each other. Out here, they had a new rhythm. He’d noticed it while they were saddling the horses. They hadn’t spoken, working silently side-by-side. She hadn’t pressed him more about admitting to his feelings for her, although he knew she’d had to rein in a bit of her fire. A thin line appeared between her brows whenever she was frustrated or concentrating—an easy tell. The fact that he’d noticed that small detail about her face unsettled him.

How was he supposed to resist her when he wanted her so much? When he spent so much time thinking about her? So much for pushing her away.

His conversation with Rye still weighed heavily on him. He appreciated Tory’s help, but at the end of the day, he and his friend would have to hash this out together. On their own.

“Please tell me we’re heading into the woods,” she called out.

“We are. Just follow the path.” He was trailing behind her, April keeping close to Odin’s flank like usual.

“Can we gallop?”

While he knew she was an excellent rider, the protective part of him didn’t want her to take chances. “Could I stop you?”

She slowed to a walk and looked over her shoulder. “Odin is your horse. I wouldn’t disrespect that. Besides, I want you to invite me back for more rides. It feels wonderful to be around horses again.”

Her effervescence was contagious. “All right. We can gallop, but if you feel out of control for even a minute—”

“I won’t. I’ll be careful, Clayton.” She returned to a trot and made a clicking sound to signal to the horse that she was ready to canter.

Clayton followed suit, watching as she increased their speed. After she and the horse settled into a comfortable rhythm, she took him into the gallop.

And flew across the prairie.

He pressed his heels into April’s flanks, and the mare surged after them. Amelia Ann’s laughter spilled across the meadow like a cloud of fairy dust, and soon he was smiling. The freedom and peace he’d always found while riding swelled up within him as the grass and trees flashed by in a blur. The blue sky was dotted with puffy clouds, and the wind rushed over his face. It was a beautiful afternoon.

Nothing ever existed for him when he was riding but the moment.

And he found himself moved by the experience of sharing something so special, so
intimate
with Amelia Ann.

As they reached the woods, she slowed Odin to a canter and then a trot, laughing with even more gusto. She finally brought the horse to a full stop and leaned over his neck and wrapped her arms around him—probably a first for Odin. He slowed April’s pace too and walked her toward Amelia Ann.

A couple fireflies flickered around her as he watched, and his neck prickled. He heard his Daddy’s voice like the man was right behind him.

One day, I pray you’ll find a woman who has that inner fire, who glows in the darkness. When you do, hang on to her.

His mind flashed back to that long ago moment when his daddy told him about his mama reminding him of a firefly. Was this the sign he’d asked for at his daddy’s grave?

Sweat broke out over his palms as his rational mind rebelled. His daddy was dead, and besides, signs weren’t real. Fireflies dotted his land all the time.

But it it’s not dark yet
, another part of him reasoned.

Amelia Ann was still caressing Odin when he led April up beside her.

“Oh, aren’t you the best horse ever?” she declared. “I’m going to get a Friesian just like you when I can.”

Her eyes sparkled like the fireflies that still circled her, and when she glanced at him, he almost fell sideways in his saddle.

“Thank you for letting me ride him, Clayton. He’s marvelous. Oh, look! Fireflies! Don’t you just love them?”

Splayed over the horse like she was, smiling from ear to ear, he couldn’t help but smile back. There was no denying that this woman affected him powerfully. Her long legs hugged Odin’s body with sheer grace, and a lock of blond hair was stuck to the side of her mouth in the most adorable fashion. He nudged April closer to Odin’s side and leaned over in the saddle to remove it from her face, loving the feel of her soft curls between his fingers.

She rose in the saddle, her smile fading as the awareness between them surged again. And he was lost. Simply lost. A firefly winked between them like a tiny sun. His heart seemed to wink on with it. He was helplessly under her spell.

Her hand came to rest on his leg, and because it felt like the most natural thing in the world, he leaned across the short distance between them and kissed her long and sweet. Her mouth was everything he’d ever wanted to taste. Kissing her was like sucking on the honeysuckle he’d favored as a boy.

Something rolled through his chest, and he pulled away with great reluctance, realizing he was done fighting her and himself. Maybe it was time to let someone else take charge.

“You lead.”

Her eyes were slumberous, and if she’d been any other woman, he would have suggested they make haste back to the house. But that would have been the wrong step, and he knew it.

“I need you to say you care about me,” she whispered, her hand stroking his thigh now, igniting a volcano of passion within him.

Those two lone fireflies winked on and off as he sat there, mesmerized by the almond shape of her eyes, the soft line of her cheek. He couldn’t deny it to himself any longer. Though it was hard for him to admit to wanting anyone, needing anyone, he couldn’t stay away from her. Still, a hard ball of energy jammed his throat, and he had to cough to clear it.

“I care about you,” he said roughly.

Her lips were rosy from his kiss, and they curved into a soft smile. “Thank you. Now I’ll lead.”

The fireflies flew off, and he felt a pang in his heart. If only there were some way to be certain whether they were truly an answer to the prayer he’d been so embarrassed to make, that his daddy was still looking out for him like his mama always said.

But as Amelia Ann gathered her reins and led Odin to the forest, Clayton realized it didn’t really matter. There was a more important consideration.

Finally admitting out loud that he cared about her had brought him the same quiet joy he had previously only gotten from being alone on his land.

The sunset turned the clouds into delightful puffs of peach and pink in the turquoise sky. Amelia Ann was almost as captivated by them as she was by the man riding beside her. She could feel him watching her as they angled the horses back to the barn. The force of it was almost like a caress.

She wanted to reach for his hand and hold it, but she felt too unsure of him. That he had kissed her again surprised her almost as much as the words he’d finally said.
I care about you.
What a thrill it had given her to hear the words in his husky voice. But part of her was already bracing for a reversal. Every time they stepped closer toward each other, he always drew back.

This time it was going to devastate her. She’d opened herself to him, and if he turned away from her now, she didn’t know if she’d have the will to keep trying.

When she dismounted in the barn, his hands were on her waist assisting her. The strong feel of them made her smile, and after she unbuckled the girth, he nudged her aside and took her saddle off before she could heft it from Odin’s back. They brushed down the horses in quiet, but as she circled his flank, she let her hand rest on Clayton’s back for a moment. The muscles under his shirt tensed at her touch, but he gave her the barest hint of a smile when he looked over his shoulder to meet her eyes.

After Odin and April were finished chewing on the apples Clayton had produced from a bin in the barn, they led them back to the pasture. The sky had turned a deep blue, and Amelia Ann savored every step, going as slow as possible to extend their time together. A few deer appeared at the edge of the tree line before darting across the field and disappearing into another copse of trees. Odin and April tensed for a moment at their appearance, but didn’t shy.

“You really have the best trained horses,” she said, breaking the silence.

“Having an excellent rider helps,” he responded, kicking a rock on the path.

“Thank you,” she responded. It was as if everything that had felt so simple and natural in the woods was growing more complicated with each step closer to the outside world. Would he want her to leave? Was he going to turn her away again?

Once inside the gate, they removed the bridles and turned the horses loose. They galloped over to Moses, who turned and ran off. April and Odin chased after him.

“Moses is sulking, but the other horses will make him feel better.”

Clayton shut the gate and then leaned against it, clearly in no mood to rush back to the house and see her off.

Amelia Ann breathed a sigh of relief. She stepped closer to him and watched the horses run after one another, snorting and neighing playfully.

“There’s no animal more majestic to me than the horse,” she said softly. “There’s something so magical about all that strength and delicacy wrapped up into one animal. I’ve thought that since I came across my first one when I was five years old.”

Clayton rested his boot on the fence. “I’m rather surprised your mama let you ride.”

It had been one of the only things her mama had made her do that she’d actually enjoyed. “Mama thought all Southern ladies needed to ride, so Tammy and I were enrolled at young ages. It’s a rich man’s sport, Mama thought, so that made it permissible.”

He chuckled softly. “A rich man’s sport, huh? That sounds like your mama.”