Fire - Betrayal (2 page)

Only this time as
I awoke from my horrendous dream, Ben
was
here.  He wrapped his arms around me and held me, saying my name over and over again, reminding me that it was only a dream. Little did he know that it was a terrifying nightmare, and he was part of it.

Disbelief

I listened as Cate’s sobbing became less
, until finally she relaxed in my arms and slept. I was mortified to find her in such a state of trauma. I recalled seeing her for the first time yesterday and winced at the unkind changes in her appearance.  This was not the Cate that I had left two years ago at the portal in Grandy’s drawing room. Physically she had withered. She used to have beautiful long blonde flowing locks. But not know, they had been dramatically cut short.  Her bright dancing brown eyes showed an inert sadness, and it haunted me - the nothingness that I could see there, the nothingness that had once been so full of life, of energy, of love, of kindness, of compassion, of mischief, of intelligence.

I
alone had done this to the woman that I loved, and I would never forgive myself.

My beautiful, beautiful Cate.

I placed my right hand onto the crown of her head, and closed my eyes envisioning the rainbow of healing colours. My hand warmed as I felt my energy transfer into her - my love, my compassion and mood manipulation, helping her to heal. Then I kissed her lightly in the centre of her forehead. I had put Cate into a deep restful healing sleep, as only a Terrean could.

Then I turned and set my gaze
outside of the large sash windows of the bedroom of the Georgian house, and into the moonless night sky, my heart burdened.

I
was totally responsible for Cate’s demise. 

I
had left her, and had taken a very long time to return, and she had been tortured by my absense.

I
loved her so deeply.

And
I had failed her. I had failed in my protection of her.  I had failed to protect her heart.

My beautiful, beautiful Cate.

A tear overflowed from the confines of my eyelid.  How could I do this to her? How could I do this to my soul mate, my one and only true love?

I must rescue her, rescue her from the personal hell hole of emotional torment
, I thought. I would surround her with my presence of being, my deep unending love, my gifts of compassion and mood manipulation. I would heal and restore her to the Cate that I knew before my journey to the parallel world.  It was the only thing that mattered.

It was my fault that she had slid into the darkness of depression.

What had
I done to her? 

What had she
really been through?

How would
I heal her shattered heart? It was all my fault.

At least
I had returned, I thought, that was the most important thing.

My beautiful, beautiful Cate.

Chapter 3

Presence and Doubt

She woke, opening her eyes slowly
, letting the glorious rays of the morning sun fill her with its mysterious presence.

‘You smell wonderful Ben.  I still can’t believe that you have returned to me,’ she whispered.  I had.  I had returned to her.

I moved my hand to touch her face, and brushed away a tear as it slowly rolled down her cheek.  She moved her lips close to mine, and softly moaned as our lips touched ever so lightly – I was afraid of letting out the full force of my deep love on her.  I had to use considerable restraint to keep the kiss brief.  I could have kissed her deeply and passionately making her head spin, but I chose not to.  Her emotions were far too delicate at the moment.  I had to protect her.

I
gently pulled away. ‘I love you Cate, forever,’ I whispered.

‘
Ben!’ she responded with emotion in her voice, her face remaining serious and intense. I continued looking deeply into her eyes reading her true emotional state. Healing had begun, but she had a long way to go.

‘Cate, come with me to the beach for a couple of weeks.  Let’s get away from here.  Some sun, fresh sea air,
blue water - it’ll do you the world of good.  And, for selfish reasons, I want you just to myself.’

She looked into my eyes, but did not speak
, a look of fear on her face.  For a very brief moment, I felt panicked. But I maintained eye contact with her and then manipulated the aura around her to make her feel at peace. There was resistance.

I could now see that a change of scenery, leaving her Grandy’s house was going to be extremely difficult for her.  This had become her safe haven, even though it was associated with unbearable emotional pain.

Perhaps it would have been better if I had not returned?

Perhaps I should not have asked her to marry yesterday?

I watched a cold shiver travel through her body. I didn’t want her to crawl back into the darkness. I stood and grabbed Cate’s hands and pulled her off the bed.

‘Please Ben, let me stay in bed and look out the window
.  I can’t leave the house,’ she pleaded, trying to release from my grip to go back to bed.  I looked into her eyes. She was scared.

I held her hands more tightly.  I would not let go.

She looked into my eyes pleadingly. I consciously mesmerized her with my eyes hoping to pull her out of her panic. Her heart quickened at my touch. I was like an electrical connection allowing her life force to flow through me, take from me and recharge. 

I watched
her reactions closely.  She was emotionally unstable, unpredictable, and I didn’t like it.  Not one bit.

I d
oubted whether she was strong enough to cope with my presence now. And I didn’t know whether she would choose to come to the beach with me.  I certainly didn’t deserve her anymore after shattering her heart into a thousand pieces, and I would understand if she rejected me this time, after the tremendous pain and suffering that I had caused her.

That
I alone
had caused her.

I dropped my gaze to the floor, and let go of her hands
, feeling frustrated. I wanted to fix everything, now.

My beautiful, beautiful Cate….

I turned my body and walked to the large wooden sash window. I looked down at the now unkempt gardens that once had been vibrant and full of life, as Cate had been. For the first time in my life, I felt defeated.

Maybe I should not have returned to Cate on the Earth?  Perhaps it would have been better for me to have stayed in Une Autre Terre, and let her move on from me.

Maybe I shouldn’t have been so hasty in asking her to marry me.  In hindsight, it was a foolish thing to do considering her delicate and highly unstable emotional state.

Maybe, Cate’s heart that had been shattered into a thousand pieces was beyond repair, and my presence was only adding salt to the wound.

My heart was hurting.  I loved her deeply and truly, and would love no other as I loved her.  It would tear me apart never to be with her again. But…. if it would help Cate, I would leave her. 

I looked up to contain the
wall of tears that were building in my eyes, and breathed in deeply to stop myself from crumbling into a heap.

It was almost unbearable.  I felt so alone.
I had betrayed her.

My mind buzzed as
I became aware of her close proximity to me.  She wrapped her arms around me from behind and pressed her body against me, kissing the back of my neck. The kiss was like an electric jolt.  I felt it in every cell of my body.

‘Yes Ben, I will go to the beach with you,’ she whispered.

I bowed my head as I let the realization of what Cate had said, sink in.  Then I smiled to myself, and let a tear fall from my eyes.

I reached up and ran my hands along Cate’s arms that were wrapped around me, and moved her hands to my lips kissing them.
She moved around in front of me, coming between me and the wooden sash windows, looking into my eyes.

There she held my gaze, and I unleashed upon her the full power of my cerulean eyes, like I had never done before.  I did not know why I did this, and I knew not of this power that I felt.  But I did feel the connection of our two souls, the merging of our two beings into one.  Destiny had chosen for us.  We were not to be parted, ever
….

Mind Games

Anticipated departure time
for the Pacific Island flight: 3:15 pm.

I packed minimally, as requested by Ben. I wanted to worry, but somehow I couldn’t. He took nothing except the clothes that he had on, the same clothes he had worn to the house when he arrived in the blizzard a day ago.

We
caught a taxi to the airport, where we boarded the four hour flight to the island. Four hours of bliss where I could just sit and be with Ben.  I really needed this time of stillness, of connections.  Leaving the safety of Grandy’s house was harder than I thought it would be, and to be honest, I felt panicky.

Skin to skin connection was my focus as I sat next to
Ben the entire time, tracing over his hands, fingers and arms. I entwined my fingers through his, to make sure that he wouldn’t disappear from me.  That was my constant worry after the hell that I had been through.  I needed to feel the warmth of his hands to make it real.

I
traced his face with my eyes, drooling over his angular features, his perfect nose, his dark wavy hair, his well formed lips and beautiful cerulean eyes.  He was too beautiful.

And
I couldn’t believe how happy I was feeling now. But I didn’t trust this feeling. I worried that I was on a high, and that the crash into deep depression would come again.

Ben looked at me, concern on his face.

“Are you feeling okay
Cate?” he asked calmly.

I
looked into his soulful eyes.

“It’s just that…I worry that I will fall into the black depths of the abyss again
….It’s….it is such a dark, lonely, numb, nothingness place.  I don’t want to return there…..”  I responded, choking at my words of pain.

Ben looked deeply into
my eyes as I spoke of my feelings, reading my emotions more precisely than I could understand myself. I knew that he could do this.  I was speaking the truth, but I was more concerned at returning to the abyss than I was letting on. Would he see beyond my words and into the deepest depths of my mind?

Ben moved his hand up to
my forehead and aligned his fingers with particular care onto my head.

He closed his eyes,
his face peaceful but powerful, and I could feel energy radiating off him.

I
realized at once what he was doing.  I had seen the Une Autre Terreans do this many times in Grandy’s memories.  I closed my eyes and tried to relax as best as I could to allow the energy transfer from Ben to take place.  I knew that he was looking after me, and that he would not let me fall again.  I was overcome with a sensation of well-being, elation and warmth, and I bathed in its gloriousness.

Once the warmth dissipated
from his hand, I knew that the process had been completed.  I slowly opened my eyes to look up at him.

His eyes were
widened, full of compassion, full of deep love for me.  His face was serious and intense.  He spoke no words to me, but I understood his silence.

I
moved my face closer to his, and lightly kissed him on the lips. I watched him close his eyes as I kissed him, and then kept them closed for the moments afterward.

I
now knew why Grandy had called him “a gift”.

I
leaned my head back upon the seat and closed my eyes, feeling overwhelmed by my love for him. 

I
could never, not love him.  We were forever.  I knew it in my heart.

Never
, were we to be parted.

The plane touched down smoothly, ending the journey of connections between
us.  Ben collected my luggage and we swiftly exited the airport in a taxi.

I
felt exuberant at the change of weather.  Instead of freezing cold blizzard conditions, we had arrived to glorious sunshine, blue sky and warm temperatures.  My head felt light and free.

The
traffic was sparse as I looked out and about, soaking up the tropical oasis and the magnificent colours of the sunset against the greenery of the rainforest, the blues of the ocean and white sand made the island feel magical.