Finnegan's Week (11 page)

As a civilian employee of the S.D.P.D. Nell had known what to do, but didn't. She didn't call the police and didn't prosecute, but she
did
try a gag that a cop had told her about. While he was packing his clothes, vowing to leave forever, she put tiny pebbles inside the valve stems on his tires, then screwed the caps back on, while she bled on her $50 silk blouse. Then she watched him drive away, hoping that the tires wouldn't go flat until he got on the freeway.

It was a pots 'n pans divorce, and she sent him a check for his half of all they owned. As far as Nell knew, her ex was still living in Miami, where he'd gone to work for an uncle at a Cadillac dealership. After she'd taken back her maiden name and joined the San Diego P.D., he'd called her late one night to suggest that they consider reconciliation, asking if she missed him.

Nell said she missed him like a yeast infection, and that she no longer got misty remembering their high school homecoming dance, and that if he ever crossed her path again she was going to show him a few tricks she'd learned at the police academy, like ripping out his fucking eyeballs and feeding them to the cat.

As it turned out, breaking her nose was the only good thing he ever did for her. As she matured physically during her eleven years as a San Diego cop—after she'd got into jogging and regular workouts—her face narrowed and her cheeks hollowed, giving her a more refined look. And with that refinement a slightly bent nose was sexy indeed. In those days other female cops told her that if they could get a nose like that they'd date Norman Mailer. In more recent years they changed it to Mike Tyson.

Nell regularly jogged along the Embarcadero in those days, loving the spangled sunlight that ricocheted off the bay and caressed her bare legs. No headset for Nell; she liked to hear the groans of sailboats straining at their moorings, and the zing of halyards against metal masts. Jogging along the Embarcadero was an utterly sensual experience.

Later in her S.D.P.D. career when she'd worked as a detective, Nell began to dress better. In winter she liked cable turtle-necks, and double-pleated trousers worn with blazers or tweed jackets. A loyal Nordstrom's customer since the chain opened in the San Diego area, she wore slim-girl things off duty: stirrup trousers and walking shorts.

Nell promised herself that she was always going to dress well and live well, and that no son of a bitch was
ever
going to punch her in the face again, not without wearing handcuffs and getting some big-time payback before she got him to jail. And for sure he'd be wearing the cuffs with his palms
outward
, because once Nell had the misfortune to arrest a Plastic Man clone whom she cuffed palms inward for his comfort. While she was outside her patrol car completing her report, he'd managed to jackknife his body and pull his cuffed hands around his legs and feet. Then he drove off, crashing ten minutes later during a high-speed pursuit by the Highway Patrol. Her
most
humiliating day. After that, Nell Salter wasn't the kind to worry a whole lot about a male prisoner's comfort.

Other events began to change her in subtle ways, as inevitably happens to young people in law enforcement. One of these changes resulted from a phone call by a parole board representative who wanted her opinion concerning the impending release of a man she'd arrested for battering his family. The man had not only broken his wife's nose, but had cracked four of her ribs. During his rampage he'd also managed to fracture the skull of his eight-year-old daughter and puncture the child's spleen.

He had not served even half of his sentence, but it turned out that his kidney disease was causing the state to have to pay for dialysis treatments, and what with the budget crunch, the parole board thought about springing him. Despite premonitions, Detective Nell Salter had allowed herself to be persuaded not to oppose the release. She was told how, like everyone from Manson murderers to Watergate conspirators, he'd found Jesus perched on his bunk in that little prison cell.

What really made Nell assent, despite misgivings, was that he'd broken his wife's
nose
during the assault. Nell worried that at a subconscious level, she might be transferring feelings about her ex-husband onto this man, so she did not vigorously oppose the parole. Three weeks after his release, he located his wife's new home, broke in, shot her to death, then his daughter, then himself.

The murdered child had given Nell a photo of herself in a Girl Scout uniform, and on a few occasions during the weeks following the killings, Nell had surprised herself by breaking into sobs. Always when she was alone, of course, because unlike TV cops, real cops don't wear their hearts on their sleeves. And the one thing that female police officers absolutely could not do under
any
circumstance was to cry. Not in the presence of a male cop, nor in any situation where a male cop might hear about it.

Male cops. That was a big problem, as far as the females were concerned. It was never enough to be as good
as
, not if a woman wanted total acceptance. The woman had to be at least as good as, and not let the men know it. It was a very dicey business, the care and handling of male cops.

All the females talked about how, during stressful, emotion-packed moments, male and female police partners would bond and lose track of the “other” world, the civilian world. That bonding, those moments, could be sexually supercharged.

More than a few hard-nosed, veteran cops had walked into their lieutenant's office to say: “My wife won't let me work with females anymore!”

Nell had tried living with a male cop she thought she was in love with. Confident and competent professionally, he was a personal and emotional
mess
, just like almost every male cop she'd ever known.

Finally one day she said to him: “I'm
not
your mommy. I'll never
be
your mommy. You should go back to your mommy.”

He'd seemed stunned, and said, “But I thought we had something together! I was thinking about …
marrying
you!”

“Go marry a nurse,” Nell told him. “That's what you guys do, marry nurses and other care givers. But please, leave my life so I can chisel the crud out of my oven and scrape my kitchen table with a putty knife.”

The day he left, she went to Nordstrom's and bought a new dress, after which she'd had her brown hair touched up with chestnut highlights. And she made a vow to date civilians.

That seemed like a good idea, and at first it was lots of fun regaling civilians with cops 'n robbers tales. They loved it, most of them: a dentist (sexy whiner), a flight engineer (unsexy whiner), a carpenter (great buns, no brains), a lawyer (seldom changed his underwear), and a mall developer (never wore any) who went broke and left town just ahead of subpoenas.

There was one common denominator: Most of the civilians were fascinated by her gun. She was always playing Mister Rogers show-and-tell with her 9mm Sig Saur.

“This is a Sig semi-automatic! Can you say Siiiig? It holds sixteen rounds and can make a biiiiig mess!”

She finally decided that the shrinks were right about pistols and penises. Mainly though, they just didn't
get
it, those civilians. They didn't understand what it is that cops see: i.e., not just the worst of people, but ordinary people at their worst. They didn't understand the cynicism, and the gross-out gallows humor. They couldn't understand dealing with horror by smacking it in the face with a cream pie full of maggots.

Nell finally decided that marrying a civilian couldn't work, not anymore, not even if she found one she liked. And marrying a cop was unthinkable, unless she wanted to be tied to a forty-year-old infant with chest hair. Gilbert and Sullivan didn't know the half of it about a policeman's lot. They should've known a few
female
cops, or so her colleagues always said.

At last, Nell Salter decided that she needed a change. Not a huge change, not out of law enforcement entirely. So, Nell left the San Diego Police Department in favor of the District Attorney's Office, and became one of two people investigating environmental crimes. And there she'd stayed, and there she'd learned to identify methyl-ethyl bad-shit and Big Fucking Red Clouds.

On the day that Fin Finnegan visited his agent with malice aforethought, Nell Salter, having had three cups of coffee with her morning poached egg, had to run to the John the moment she arrived at work. And as often happened with female investigators who were in a hurry, she forgot all about her handcuffs when she sat down to pee.

A few minutes later, when she entered her own office, her older partner, Hugh Carter, looked up over his bifocals and said, “Three more days and I'm gone. Three whole weeks. Salmon. Pine cones. Clean air …”

“Mosquitoes,” Nell said. “Psychotic hermits in camouflage fatigues with M-sixteens. Snakes!”

“Hope you can manage without me, and …” Suddenly Hugh Carter noticed that she was shaking the water out of her handcuffs.
Again
. He said, “Nell, you know how fastidious I am. Would you not shake those nasty drops all over the floor. Aim for my coffee cup, please.”

“Hugh,” Nell said, “I don't know if it's a good time for you to go on vacation. You know how we always talk about some evil and ugly genetic monster emerging from all the contaminants in places like the Tijuana River and the Rio Grande?”

“Yeah?”

“Some uncontrollable mutant life-form that'll raise its horrible snout from the toxic muck and slime of California or maybe Texas, and flap its scaly ears, and terrify the entire nation with its wicked bellowing screams?”

“Yeah, yeah?” her partner said.

“It's happened!” Nell cried. “Ross Perot is gaining in the polls!”

C
HAPTER
9

W
hen Fin came to work on Monday he discovered that Sam Zahn had neglected to make any hazardous material notifications on the van that was stolen at Angel's Café. Because Sam had the day off, Fin thought he'd better cover his old pal's ass by making the notifications. Sam had a short-timer's attitude.

Nell Salter's partner had only been gone on vacation for one day when she received the unusual call from San Diego P.D.

“This is Nell Salter,” she said to a somewhat familiar telephone voice identifying himself as Detective Finnegan.

Salter? He used to know a female cop named Salter. Was she the chubby one that could've used a Thighmaster if they'd had them in those days? “Did you have a sister with S.D.P.D. at one time?” he asked.

“I don't have a sister, brother,” Nell said. “I left the P.D. in nineteen eighty-five.”

“I worked Central then,” he said. “Fin Finnegan?”

She couldn't place him, and said, “I'd probably know you if I saw your face. How can I help you?”

“I gotta talk to a sludge drudge,” he said. “You know, a goop cop. Are you one of them?”

Sludge drudge. She hadn't heard that one. “Yeah, I work environmental crimes. What's up?”

“On Friday, a van got stolen down near Imperial Beach. Had some drums of toxic junk in it. Belongs to Green Earth Hauling and Disposal. Ever heard of them?”

“No, there're quite a few hauling contractors around town. What'd the waste consist of?”

“All I know is the trucker picked up some stuff from the navy at North Island and from a place called Southbay Agricultural Supply down here in San Ysidro. I've notified our office of emergency management and HazMat and the county health department and now you. I'm all tuckered out.”

“Any suspects?”

“Nope. May've been a try at a cargo theft if they couldn't read ‘hauling and disposal' on the door of the cab. Just thought I'd let you know. In case the drums get found you'll know where they belong.”

“Can you send me a copy of the report?” she asked. Then she added, “Where was the truck stolen from exactly?”

“Angel's Café. Know it?”

She thought she knew Angel's, and said, “As I recall, a lotta guys wearing shades hang around there. They're either astronomers waiting for a solar eclipse or drug dealers, right?”

Fin said, “They sell dime bags of smoke. Truckers sprinkle it on their hamburgers.”

“If you hear anything about the truck, call me.”

Fin said, “We don't handle truck thefts here at Southern. And if the truck's recovered with the sludge still in it, I wouldn't go near it anyway. Waste from the navy is probably the kinda stuff that makes an insect turn in circles and die from one whiff. That's what the military wants
people
to do.”

Suddenly his voice had a face: chin dimple, nice soft gray eyes. A smallish guy with a smart mouth. Nell said, “I used to work with your ex-wife. She was a police officer, right? A sergeant? Worked Northern?”

“My
first
ex-wife. The good sergeant. That experience taught me not to marry above my station. She put bruises on my psyche that bled into my hat. I learned what police brutality really means being married to that Nazi. I hope she wasn't a
close
friend of yours?”

“No, I just remember how she used to complain to the other women about
you
. You're the amateur actor, right?”

The line went dead for a few seconds. “I act, yeah,” Fin said icily.
Amateur?

“The hazardous waste could very well turn up somewhere in Southbay,” Nell said. “If you hear anything, gimme a call, huh?”

Then he was able to put a face on “Salter.” She was the one that actually jogged to work, sometimes in shorts and a T-shirt. On cold misty mornings her nipples would pop out, so the male cops called her “Foglights” behind her back. He wondered if her fog lights were on today. He wondered how well she'd
aged
.

It had been a long wait at U.S. Customs. Pepe Palmera had breezed through Mexican customs, but now the U.S. officers were letting their dog sniff very carefully around all the trucks as though they'd received a tip.