Finish the Course (The Barnes Family Book 1) (11 page)

Slater looked at Anna, “I think I’d prefer the court-martial.”

She started laughing then.

She hobbled picked up her crutches, tossed on the floor previously so she could shoot, and started toward their rooms.

“I would appreciate help with my shower,” she responded to his earlier offer. “It was a pain to take a bath.”

Slater did not seem the least bit comfortable with the conversation.

Anna stopped moving and rested on one crutch, “I meant with my foot, Slater.”

“I know,” he assured her, “but it’s a little too soon after humiliating myself in front of my hero.”

She smiled, “That’s so sweet,” she resumed walking. “I didn’t know I was your hero.”

He chuckled behind her.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

“That wasn’t nearly as frightening as I imagined it would be,” Slater stood at Anna’s door hours later.

She was used to people being in awe of her father, “When I was in high school, my dad would meet every new guy – whether the interest was romantic or platonic – in his uniform. If he liked the guy he would wear civilian clothes the next time.”

Slater raised his eyebrow, “If he didn’t?”

“He’d always just happen to be cleaning his gun – in his uniform – when the guy stopped by.”

“Very effective.”

“You’ll notice he was not in his uniform.”

“Maybe he thinks I’m only interested in a platonic relationship.”

Silence.

“Are you?” she forced the words through her lips.

A long silence preceded his soft answer.

“No.”

She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. On one hand, she was very attracted to him – his personality and his appearance. On the other, she hadn’t seen a long distance relationship yet that worked. At least, not one that began that way. And seven thousand miles was definitely long distance.

“I’m not very good at this, Anna.”

“This?”

He groaned, “Girls.”

She resisted the smile and squeezed his hand.

He returned the squeeze, “Goodnight, Anna.”

“Goodnight,” she backed into her room and their fingers separated.

She started to close her door, but then remembered something, “And I’ll lock the chain as well.”

She closed the door on his chuckle.

She went with him to Emerson’s funeral the following day. General Merchan had given them permission to be off-site from eight hundred to sixteen hundred.

“Can I ask you something, Reed?” she spoke up as the car drove back to Langley.

“Sure,” he glanced away from the road.

“You seemed to be more. . . I don’t know, at ease at Emerson’s funeral than you were at Falton’s. Were you that much closer to Falton?”

Slater didn’t answer right away.

“No. It wasn’t that.”

She waited, not sure if his silence was due to emotional turmoil, fear of her response, or the inability to articulate his thoughts.

“I know where Emerson was going, Anna. He had a relationship with Christ. I know he’s in Heaven right now. Falton was. . .”

He rubbed at his forehead.

Anna thought she understood, “You mean Falton wasn’t as good a man as Emerson?”

Slater chuckled softly, “None of us is good enough for Heaven, Anna.”

Anna smiled at how much Slater sounded like her mom.

“You’re talking about a relationship with Christ.”

“Yeah.”

“When I was a kid, I believed all that stuff.”

Slater turned to look at her more fully, “But not now?”

“I accepted Jesus when I was little, and I still believe He exists, but I don’t buy into the thought that God has some sort of grand scheme.”

Slater frowned, “What changed?”

Anna wished they hadn’t started down this road, “I’ve seen too much.”

“Me too,” he surprised her. “The things that I see make me even more sure that there is a God who cares, and we need Jesus.”

“How’s that?”

“Look at what men do to each other, Anna. Do you think we could ever make up for all that?”

“Not all men are evil, Slater.”

“No?”

“I know a lot of good men.”

He pulled through the gate and waited for the guard to check them in.

“Who do you know, Anna?”

“My dad,” she insisted before taking a chance with her heart, “You.”

“I’ve killed a lot of men, Anna,” he pulled into a parking spot. “Doesn’t that make me evil?”

“That’s different,” she shot back at him as she climbed from the vehicle and slammed her door shut.

He was hot on her heels, “How?”

She spun and shook her finger in his face, “Don’t try to confuse me, Reed.”

Slater smiled broadly.

Anna made a valiant effort to not give in to his charm. She managed to hold her tongue until they were back inside and walking toward their respective rooms.

“I get what you’re saying, Slater, but I can’t believe that God’s plan for the world is to see us all destroy ourselves.”

“What do you think God is doing right now?”

“I don’t know,” she leaned against the wall next to her door. “I never thought about what He does from day to day.”

“Why not?”

She shrugged, “It never crossed my mind, but I think he has better things to do than sit and watch us make a mess of the world he created.”

“Like what?”

He was so infuriating.

“Spin the earth, hold the stars in place. How should I know?”

He thought for a moment, “You must believe Jesus is the way to Heaven.”

She thought about it a moment, certain he was about to earn some points in this debate. Finally, she shrugged.

“Sure.”

“So, God sent His Son to die for us, but he doesn’t care whether we accept that?”

She shrugged, “I guess.”

“Why would He bother to save us at all? Was Jesus of so little value?”

Anna pulled her key from her pocket and opened her door, “I’ll see you later, Slater.”

He sighed, but he let her leave.

She called him five minutes later.

“Do you think God has a plan for everyone’s life? Even the ones who don’t know him?”

“The Bible says He formed us in the womb. How could you even begin to form someone if you didn’t have a plan?”

Anna was confused. She had been pretty confident in what believed. Now she wasn’t so sure. She had always believed that her acceptance of Christ as a child was her get-out-of-jail-free card. It was her insurance against Hell. Now, she wondered if God really wanted more from her.

“You still there, Anna?”

“Yeah. Just thinking.”

“Anything I can help you with?”

She jumped in with the first question she thought of, “Do you know God’s plan for you?”

He sighed, “I think I know in a broad sense. My life is supposed to glorify God.”

In her frustration, she did not guard her words, “And you think being a sniper does that?”

His silence told her that she had gone too far.

“I’m sorry.”

“No,” he responded very quietly. “It’s a legitimate question.”

“It isn’t my business, Slater.”

“I’ve struggled with it a lot,” he admitted. “I’ve prayed about it. I know it’s going to sound heartless, but I do believe I am where God wants me to be.”

“You don’t think God has a plan for the people you kill?”

“I do.”

“To die by a shot to the head?”

He was silent again.

When the quiet extended to awkward, Anna spoke up.

“I’d better let you go, Slater.”

“Goodnight, Anna.”

She didn’t sleep well that night. They had a debriefing the following morning at oh-six-hundred, so she got up and dressed, but she wasn’t sure if she should wait for Slater or go ahead. After their last conversation, she wouldn’t blame him if he never wanted to speak to her again.

A short knock on her door answered her question.

“Hey,” she greeted him as she stepped into the hallway.

He narrowed his eyes, “Did you sleep at all last night?”

Her shoulders slumped. She had been caught.

“That bad, huh?”

Slater shook his head and started walking, “You looked better right after being stabbed.”

“Thanks.”

“Just being honest.”

“As a thanks for my honesty, last night, I suppose.”

“Is that what you call that?” he made a sound of disapproval in the back of his throat and started to walk again.

“Listen, Slater,” she dragged him to a stop again. “I need to apologize for what I said last night.”

He looked down, expectantly.

“I know you are doing your job, and I had no right to question that.”

“Anna,” he started, but had to pause a moment as a lieutenant passed by them in the hall.

She didn’t wait for him to finish what he was going to say but hurried on. Slater didn’t try to stop her.

“Captains,” General Merchan greeted them as they came in the door, “have a seat.”

The meeting only took fifteen minutes, and Slater was soon back in the hall with Anna.

“You want to go to the gym?” she started walking away from him as soon as the general’s door closed.

“No,” Slater caught up and matched her pace. “I don’t.”

She shrugged, but Slater caught the glimmer of surprise before she turned away from him.

“Are you seriously not going to talk about this, Anna?”

She kept walking, so he glanced around himself and dragged her into a side hall.

“Slater,” she began, but he clamped a hand over her mouth so she couldn’t say any more.

“If you don’t stop and listen to me, I’m going to resort to more extreme measures.”

She glared at him.

Still holding her tightly, he lowered his voice, “I was upset by what you said last night, Anna.”

She narrowed her eyes.

Slater had to drop his hand, so she could speak if she wanted.

“I was more upset that you blew me off.”

Anna’s eyebrows shot up, “Blew you off?”

“When I told you how I felt about killing people, Anna. Do you think that comes easy to me – having to explain my actions? It’s hard enough to squeeze that trigger, much less talk about it.”

“Slater –”

He needed to finish before she said anything else, “I told you it was a struggle for me, and you mocked my answer, and then you hung up.”

Anna stepped back and looked at him more fully, “Slater.”

He waited.

“I’m sorry, Slater. I’m just. . .I’m just sorry.”

He nodded and turned to leave. He walked two paces away from her, thought better of it, and then spun back around.

“I don’t enjoy it, Anna. I always hope there is some other solution. I’d jump at any other solution.”

He took a deep breath, “I’m not trying to play God.”

Slater didn’t know why he was explaining himself, but he figured it was because he couldn’t bear to have Anna thinking badly of him.

“I know,” she took his hand in hers. “I know you don’t – that you aren’t, Slater.”

Slater looked down at their joined hands, “I didn’t mean what I said.”

She let go and looked up at him, “About me looking terrible?”

“Oh, I meant that part,” he stepped back. “But I really do want to go play basketball.”

Slater turned and darted down the hall to the tune of her incredulous laughter behind him.

CHAPTER TWELVE

The captains had various meetings over the next two weeks. Peppered between them were the remaining funerals and memorial services of their friends.

Most of the men were buried in the area, but Teague’s family wanted him buried in their home town with his father who had lost his life in Vietnam.

“Are you flying out tonight?” Anna had driven with him to the other services but was not going to this – the final – one. It seemed more private than the others.

He nodded and rolled his socks to fit in his bag. She was sitting on the end of the bed. It was going to be strange, spending the next few days without him.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t go out with the rest of your men,” she felt tears clogging her throat.

That had been hard on Slater, but the powers-that-be would not allow him to be gone that long.

He glanced around his room to see if he had forgotten anything.

She wondered if he wanted to be alone, but she didn’t know how to ask without seeming to be trying to avoid him. She opted for honesty.

“Would you like me to go? I don’t mind.”

His eyes shot to hers, “You don’t?”

“No,” she stood and touched his shoulder, “I understand that sometimes we like to have company, and other times we don’t.”

He drew a deep and shuddering breath, “I wanted to ask you, but I thought it was asking too much.”

She drew back a little, “Too much?”

“For you to go with – Oh. You meant you were going to go. Away. Now.”

“Slater?”

His self deprecating laugh slipped out just before he turned back to packing.

She sat back down so she could look up at him, “You want me to go with you? To the funeral?”

“Forget it, Barnes,” his tone told her he was done with the conversation.

She stood up and left the room, stopping only to look at a piece of paper sitting on the desk.

She knocked on his door half an hour later.

He looked tired, more so than she had ever seen him.

“Are you ready?” she indicated the bag near the door.

He glanced back, “Yeah.”

She lifted hers, “Let’s go. I have to make sure they didn’t mess up my ticket.”

His countenance changed, “You’re coming? Just like that?”

She pointed again, “Don’t forget that.”

He pulled his uniform off the coat rack, “Are you interested in sharing a garment bag?”

She stopped and opened hers to slip his Class A’s in, “We could have shared a duffle as well, but I’m tired of seeing your leopard print speedos.”

He laughed softly and took the garment bag as well as her duffle, “Thanks. For coming I mean.”

She nodded, “Sorry about the confusion earlier.”

Slater didn’t respond.

There was no problem with Anna’s ticket, and they were soon on the plane.

“I can’t believe you just bought a ticket to cross the country just because I asked you to.”

“Technically,” she fidgeted in her seat, “you didn’t ask me. I invited myself. So, if you get sick of me and send me away, I have nobody but myself to blame.”

She grunted and tugged angrily at her belt

He looked down at her hands, “Something wrong?”

“I’m stuck.”

“You just buckled in,” he reached for it nonetheless. “We haven’t even taken off.”

“I know,” she leaned back to give him better access to her problem, “but how would you like to get stuck in your seat with no hope of escape?”

He unfastened it, “I wouldn’t. Do you want to change seats with me?”

“No,” she clipped it back together, “but you may have to help me with it again.”

Slater’s lips formed a smirk, “Glad to do it.”

“Captain Reed!” she whispered, pretending to be scandalized.

“What?”

She nudged his shoulder with hers.

“You know,” he turned his face toward hers, “I don’t think you’ve ever told me if you have any siblings.”

She nodded, “I had two brothers.”

“Had?”

“My little brother died of leukemia when he was seven. I was nine.”

Slater wished he hadn’t brought it up, “I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago.”

He grinned, “How long?”

She laughed, “Almost twenty years. How about you?”

“How long has it’s been since I was nine? Twenty-three years.”

She shook her head, “Very interesting information, but I was wondering about your siblings. I know you have no sisters.”

“How do you know that?”

“Too weird around girls. Do you have any brothers?”

“Wait,” he held up a hand, “I didn’t hear about your other brother.”

“Ah, yes. Judah. He’s three years older than me, a bit of a black sheep.”

“Really?”

“He decided against the military,” she clicked her tongue. “Tough for my dad. His dad and grandfather had been Army.”

“So, he’s what, a musician?”

She laughed, “No. He’s a doctor.”

“Most families wouldn’t consider that the black sheep.”

“So,” the Barnes family topic was boring to her, “how about brothers?”

“Six.”

She leaned back to get a better look, “You have six brothers?”

“Yep. They’re all in the Army except Brant.  He’s Navy.”

She was intrigued, “Older or younger?”

“Two older, four younger. There’s about a year and a half between each.”

“You must have lived in a mad house growing up.”

“Yeah, it was,” the fondness in his voice said he wouldn’t have traded it for anything.

She leaned back, “Tell me about them.”

He started to, and, though she honestly was interested, she began to doze about the time he told her his oldest brother was the Navy guy.

She woke up with her head on his shoulder and a blanket across her lap.

She blinked a few times, leaving her head where it was.

“You awake?”

She tried to straighten up, at the sound of his voice, but he cupped her cheek and pressed her back to him, “Just relax a minute or two. You’re keeping me warm.”

“You want part of the blanket?” she began to stretch it over him.

“No,” he dropped his hand from her face. “I’m good.”

“How long have I been asleep?”

“I’m not sure. I was telling you all about my brother, Caiden’s, appendix operation and I realized you were out.”

She yawned, “Sounds fascinating.”

“Did you happen to make hotel reservations?”

She shook her head, “I didn’t even know where we were going. Are we renting a car? Is the funeral far from the airport? I just took the first step and figured you’d tell me what to do next.”

“Very trusting of you.”

“You seem pretty trustworthy.”

“I appreciate that.”

She was messing with her belt again, “I think this is the jittery belt.”

“Jittery belt?”

“They put the nervous passengers in here so they can’t get up and make nuisances of themselves. Do you think I should tell them I’m not nervous?”

He reached under her blanket and unfastened her clasp, “Any particular reason you need to be unbuckled?”

“I’m going to stretch my legs,” she finished the sentence with a smile.