Finding Us (13 page)

He gives me a little more of his weight as he leans down but keeps enough of it off me by propping up on his elbows on either side of my head. He’s just staring at me with desire in his eyes. No words are exchanged. We stay like this for what seems like hours but it’s only minutes.

Eventually I start to feel slightly uncomfortable, not because he’s just watching but because there is a warm tingling feeling growing more and more intense between my legs and I need it released. I start to wiggle just a little, looking for something, anything to release the pressure that Knox is causing. As I move, Knox’s eyes start to roll in the back of his head and he drops his head on my shoulder and buries his face in my neck.

I feel him take a few deep breaths and then I feel his lips on my neck. He places hot open mouthed kisses and then I feel his warm tongue licking up my neck to right below my ear. I can’t help but squirm. This time when I do Knox hisses in my ear and I realize the reason my desire for him is skyrocketing.

“Jas,” Knox says through his teeth.

“Hmm,”

“If you keep doing that then things are going to happen and I can’t promise that I’ll be able to stop, so please, for the both of us, stop fucking moving.”

Well now that he put it like that maybe it’s better if I concentrate on something other than the fact that the guy who is invading my dreams is lying on top of me and he’s pressed up against where my body is screaming for him. I want Knox more than anything but right here and right now isn’t the time or the place.

“What are you thinking?” Knox whispers against my neck.

I give him a playful smile, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

He rocks his hips into me and it’s my turn to hiss. My legs start to shake and I dig my finger nails into his back.

“Not so much fun is it?”

I glare at him and push him off me. We really need to get out of this bedroom. I grab my phone off the night stand to see what time it is. It’s just after six in the morning.

“Run?” I ask as I swipe my hair onto one shoulder.

Knox nods but doesn’t make any move to get out of bed. I push the covers off and dig through my bag for running shorts and a sports bra.

“You coming?”

His eyebrows shoot up, “I wish.” I hear him mumble as he sits up in bed.

I roll my eyes and walk into the bathroom and take care of my morning business. I slip on my sports bra and shorts, lace up my running shoes and then brush my teeth and tie my hair up in a high ponytail. When I emerge from the bathroom Knox has got on a pair of shorts and is tying his shoes.

“Ready?” I ask as I throw last night’s clothes in the pile with my other dirty laundry.

“Let me brush my teeth. I’ll meet you downstairs.” Knox says as he walks into the bathroom and turns on the faucet.

The house is still quiet as I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water for Knox and I.

“Let’s do this.”

I hand him his water and we go out onto the back deck and start stretching. We run in silence for a while but give each other smiles from time to time. Running in the sand is such an intense workout compared to just running in the city. We go for about five miles until I can’t take anymore and my legs start to burn. I walk over to an empty lifeguard stand and take a seat, trying to get a handle on my breathing.

“It’s fucking hot.” Knox pants out.

“Hell yeah it is.”

Finally, fifteen minutes later, I’ve caught my breath and Knox and I decide to just walk back. Knox is telling me about how he met Cade and Jeremy and a few of their not so bright moments. None of the stories surprise me really. Those two are characters and I can’t wait for them to find girls and settle down. I’d pay to see the girls that finally put them in their places.

I can see the house now, off in the distance. Knox keeps bumping into me and brushing his hand with mine. I’m not sure if he’s doing it on purpose or not, because we aren’t exactly on even ground, but it’s driving me crazy. I wish he would just hold my hand for crying the hell out loud. A beautiful shell catches my eye, I stop and pick it up and then continue walking. Knox watches me flip the shell over in my hands and then suddenly stops walking.

He reaches for me and brings me closer to him. The waves crash in the background and seagulls squawk all around us. Knox reaches up with his hand and tilts my chin up to him, gently pressing a kiss on my lips. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him deeply.

“Come somewhere with me today?”

I don’t hesitate to answer him. I’d follow him just about anywhere right now. “Sure.”

Knox gives me another kiss and then grabs my hand, finally, and we make our way back to the house.

Cade is in the kitchen making eggs, bacon and potatoes. It smells like heaven and my stomach starts to growl. Knox laughs and then shoves me upstairs with him. He lets me take a shower first as he comes in and out of the bathroom freely.

I turn off the shower and reach for the towel I thought I left on the hook but it’s not there.
Shit!

“Knox?” I yell out.

“Yeah?” I heard him yell but it sounds like it’s coming from somewhere out of the bedroom.

I give him a few seconds but he doesn’t come so I take a chance and open the curtain a little wider so I can kind of see in the bedroom since he left the door open. No sign of Knox.

I pull open the shower curtain and step out just as Knox waltzes into the bathroom with his head is in his phone so he doesn’t realize that he’s about to see me naked.

I quickly reach for the towel but it’s too late.

“Fuck.” Knox groans.

I quickly wrap the towel around me but I don’t turn towards Knox. It’s so quiet in the bathroom all you hear is Knox’s heavy breathing. I steel my nerves as I turn to face him and as I turn my face is inches from his chest. I glance up and Knox has this hazy, lustful, look in his eyes.

“Damn baby.” He says just above a whisper.

I feel exposed, defenseless and raw. I rest my forehead against his chest.

“Let me put some clothes on please?” I beg but Knox grabs both my arms, holding me in front of him.

“Jasmine,” I lift my head and open my eyes, letting him see my vulnerability. “You’re so god damn breathtaking.” Then he leans in and kisses my cheek, the corner of my mouth, and then finally my trembling lips.

“Cold?” he asks when he breaks the kiss.

I shake my head. My whole body starts to quiver, from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.

“Hold me.” Knox says as he pulls me closer to him.

I just stand there, paralyzed. My mind is running, trying to figure out what he thinks is so breathtaking. Knox can have any girl he wants. Why does he want me?

“Do it.” He coaxes.

I jump but still can’t make myself move so Knox takes it upon himself and does it for me. I hold my breath and wrap my body around Knox as close as I can get.

“Why are you being so bashful about me seeing you naked?”

I rest my head on his chest, “I’m afraid.”

All of Knox’s muscles tighten, “Afraid of what?”

“You.”

Knox curses under his breath and holds me for a few more minutes. He kisses me on my forehead. “Get dressed. I’ve got somewhere I want to take you.”

Knox leaves me in the bathroom and I take a few seconds to collect myself before getting dressed and making myself presentable to go out with him. I have no idea where he is taking me and it’s causing a slight problem.
What the hell do I wear?
I dig through my bag and just decide to wear my black and grey stripped maxi skirt and a white tank top, and slip on a pair of white flip flops. I dress it up with some earrings and bracelets.
This will just have to do.

When I walk into the kitchen everyone is seated around the table. Mostly everyone has eaten but I see that Knox has fixed me a plate and places it in front of an empty seat.

“Jas,” Summer greets me as I take a seat in the empty chair next to her.

“Morning,” I say shyly. I’m still a little uncomfortable around everyone because of what happened last night. Everyone mumbles good morning like everything is fine and I slightly relax.

I don’t touch my food because my stomach doesn’t want to have anything to do with it but I do pour myself a glass of orange juice. As I sit back and listen to all the conversations around me, Knox reaches over and places his hand on my thigh and gives it a gentle squeeze. I smile at him, soaking in the feeling of his hand being in such an intimate place for a couple who is dating.

“What, because Knox didn’t cook it you’re not going to eat?” Cade asks me before shoveling a forkful of food in his mouth.

My hand starts to shake slightly as I set my glass back down on the table.

“She’s probably wondering if you washed your hands before cooking.” Jeremy says with a mouthful of eggs.

Everyone at the table snickers, including Cade. Knox looks over at me and then to my untouched plate and then back at me and shakes his head.

“Jas?” Summer says to me.

“Hmm?” I say, trying to keep my voice steady but Knox is making it hard since he is rubbing circles with his thumb on my leg.

“You want to go get a little sun with me today?”

I can’t take it anymore. I stand and walk my plate over to the sink to rinse it off. “No I’m good. I’ve got somewhere I’m going in a little bit.”

Summer’s eyebrows lift in surprise. Knox comes over to where I am standing next to the sink and throws his arm around me.

“I’m stealing her away for a little while.”

Summer pats Knox on the shoulder on her way out of the kitchen, “It’s about time.”

I haven’t slept a single night through in five years, five very long frustrating years, until last night. After Jasmine fell asleep, I laid there for a while but my body was very aware of her and it was making it hard to sleep. Eventually I did drift off and I slept all night long, no flash backs, no sweats, no screaming, nothing but pure blissful sleep.

Playing around with Jasmine this morning in bed led to me wanting to take her right then and there, even though I know neither of us are ready for that yet. Hell, I don’t even know what the fuck I’m doing with her. This wasn’t part of my god damn plan, but fuck, it’s like I can’t help it.

While Jasmine and I were running this morning I wanted to take her somewhere to be alone with her, to get to know her better. Only one place came to mind and it’s the only place I never got to take
her
to. I don’t know if she’s going to like it but I think it’s a safe bet. A little on the romantic side but what girl doesn’t like that every once in a while?

Once she agreed to come I began to get a little nervous. When we got back to the house I was glad to see that someone else decided to cook for all of us so I led Jasmine upstairs with me so we could shower. As tempting as it was to shower with her, I couldn’t. When we were getting our shit together for the shower she started getting bashful with me. Why, I’m not quite sure but whatever it is I’m going to break through it.

“Knox!” Jasmine yells and her voice echoes from the bathroom.

“Yeah?” I was in the hallway making reservations for dinner tonight and didn’t want her to know what I was doing so I stepped out of the room.

She didn’t respond so I finished my call and walked back into the bathroom to see what she needed but what I saw absolutely stunned me. Jasmine standing in my bathroom completely naked and wet is like my fucking fantasy coming true. Her chocolate hair dripping down over her tanned slender shoulder, her bright green eyes wide in surprise that I caught her in such a compromising position, her beautiful, flawless body with her tattoos makes me instantly hard.

“Fuck.”

Jasmine starts to tremble as she reaches for the towel to cover up and I want to tell her to leave it but I don’t. I pull her to me and have her wrap her arms around; I try to keep my hips away from her body so it doesn’t make the situation even worse.

When I asked her why she is being so bashful and she told me it was because she was scared of me, it was like a punch to my gut. I don’t even want her to be scared of me, not anymore. To hell with the plan and all that shit. There is no way in hell that I can hurt her.