Finding the Right Girl (A Nice GUY to Love spin-off) (15 page)

Brian’s head shot up and he stared at her for a raw second as if he just couldn’t help it. Then he came over quickly to explain, “I was just dropping off Jilly’s birdhouse.” He lowered his voice. “I wasn’t trying to corner you or anything, I swear. I know you said you’d call me back when you’re ready to talk…”

The trailing pause killed her. Because honestly, she didn’t think she’d ever be ready.

“I’ll go,” he said softly.

Tessa backed up a step. “No, no. You stay. I can go.”

“Why can’t you
both
stay?” asked Jilly, brows furrowed with all the candidness of a six-year old.

Why indeed.

“I wanted to show you guys what I did in art class this week.”

Brian looked over at Tessa with a silent ‘
it’s your call
.’

“Sure, Jilly-bean,” replied Tessa. “Of course we’ll both stay and look at what you made.”

“Yaaay!”

Not long after, the tension had dissipated considerably, thanks largely to Jilly’s hilarious works of art, which Tessa was pinning up for her on the ‘masterpiece clothes line’ while Brian and Jilly were busy discussing the finer aspects of art like a pair of hardcore aficionados.

“You kidding?” he was telling Jilly, “You can do way more things with watercolor painting than finger painting.”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Uh-huh,” he mimicked with a grin. “Skylar and I used to do all sorts of cool watercolor projects. Hell, she still—”

Jilly gasped. “You cursed!”

Brian froze and shot Tessa a stricken look.

Even though humor was the last thing she feeling, Tessa managed to chuckle. “Jilly’s yanking your chain. Her mom swears worse than a gold-toothed rapper”

Jilly’s little legs flutter-kicked under the blanket as she giggled with delight. “I got you! I got you!” she sang out between laughing screeches when Brian got his tickle-monster claws up and started faking left and going right.

“Ah, so
this
is where all the cackling is coming from,” teased Nurse Liv as she entered the room to do a routine check and update Jilly’s charts. “Sorry to break up the party, but I’ve got to get this little girl ready for her PT session.”

Brian got out of her way and joined Tessa by the activity shelf to help clean up.

“Oh! I almost forgot,” Jilly bubbled from across the room. “I’m gonna get to go in the pool again today.”

“Yep.” Liv got a comb and started braiding Jilly’s hair. “According to your physical therapist, you’re getting to be quite the little mermaid, sweetie.”

“I might even be able to go in with just the floaties at the next pool party.” Jilly did a little wiggly dance and then called out around Liv, “I asked my mommy if she could get grown-up floaties for you, Tessa. That way you can come in the water too this time.”

Brian turned a questioning gaze her way as Jilly asked Liv what sort of game booths the nurses would be doing at this next party.

“Floaties?” he asked quietly, but not at all meanly.

Tessa responded with a shrugging smile. “I never got the chance to learn how to swim.”

His mouth turned down at the corners as empathy warmed his gaze, and she just knew he was about to say something undoubtedly sweet…so she broke the connection and cut him off at the pass. “So how are things going with Skylar? She hasn’t skyped me since last week but she sounded pretty upbeat when she did.”

“She’s been doing a lot better, actually,” he replied, looking thrown by the conversational one-eighty, though he covered it up well. “Those visits you recommended have really helped. She’s been flat-out inspired by those kids and she’s starting to get passionate about a lot of the projects. Just yesterday, she asked if there were things she could do to help out.”

“That’s fantastic.” Tessa felt herself smiling her first real smile of the day. “I’m glad.”

He took a step closer and his eyes ran over her face slowly, as if cherishing each detail. “I’ve missed you so much, Tessa. Could we just—”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my having HD sooner,” she blurted out quietly, lowering her voice so Liv and Jilly couldn’t overhear. “It’s not exactly something I advertise…but I should’ve told you. Before we…”

What? Had sex?

Became more than flinger and flingee?

He sighed raggedly. “Honestly, I understand why you didn’t, but I really wish you would’ve, sweetheart. You don’t always have to take on the weight of the world alone you know.”

Oh yes, she did.

“You may not have had the support system you needed then, but you have it now.” He reached for her hand. “Please, let’s talk about this.”

No. She couldn’t.

She couldn’t allow him to be that guy. The one who could very easily become everything she’s never dreamed possible for her life. The one who
would
be and do all that and more, even though he’s already gone through this once before.

She simply couldn’t allow it.

Because he was already the man she loved so much, she was willing to walk away.

Backing up a step, she tried to put it all into words, “Brian, I just don’t think—”

Liv’s voice interrupted her thoughts, “Okay, Jilly, you can visit with Tessa and Brian for another ten minutes and then I’ll be back to get you changed, you hear?”

When she saw Liv’s crystalline gaze slide covertly over to Brian again while Jilly called him over to show him the recent swim strokes she’d learned, Tessa felt a knife blade of jealousy slash through her. Followed by a harsh dose of reality.

That’s the kind of woman who’d be perfect for Brian.

Watching as Liv headed back over to the computer at the nurse’s station, Tessa cataloged all the stark differences between them. Though they were the same age, Liv was chic, classy, and she always had it together. Tessa was none of these things.

In the looks department, ironically, Liv was a pretty remarkable cross between Beth and Abby. Meanwhile, Tessa, looked like a cross between a modern hippy and an urban gypsy. Proudly, but still.

Glancing up at her reflection on the wall opposite her, Tessa noted all the contrasts like a glaring pro and con list. With her candy apple red-tipped hair this week, and her
Popeye the Sailor Man
shirt, she was no match for Liv.

Echoes of her conversation with her mom reverberated in her brain.
He deserves better.

Yep, Liv would most definitely be that ‘better.’

Tessa came to a decision then, her feet already carrying her across the room before she lost her nerve…or her lunch.

“Brian, you stay. I need to get to a meeting.” She blew Jilly a giant kiss. “See you in a few days, Jilly-bean. I’ll bring a new video game for us next time, okay?”

Avoiding Brian’s intense gaze, Tessa gave him a quick, friendly wave as well and left the room. As she headed to the nurse’s station, she felt a thousand needles piercing her heart with each step she took. Which was nothing compared to the almost unbearable nausea that hit her when she started chatting up Liv…about Brian.

And still, when she left shortly after and heard Liv call out to Brian as he was leaving Jilly’s room, somehow, Tessa found the strength to keep on walking.

OF
ALL THE INFURIATING…

Tessa had actually set him up on a date with
another woman
.

Unbelievable.

Instead of letting him prove to her that her having the HD gene wouldn’t affect their relationship, she’d gone and convinced Nurse Liv to ask him out.

It didn’t matter that he knew she was trying to do what she thought was best for him.

He was still pissed.

Because if she’d just pick up her damn phone and call him, she’d know that her conclusions on the situation were just plain wrong. The fact that he’d gone through all this once before with Beth wasn’t sending him screaming in the other direction from Tessa. Maybe some would run, but not him. He’d never go back and erase his time with Beth and Skylar, regardless of how difficult the latter half of their marriage had been. Absolutely not. Everyone reduced his marriage to Beth to her last years, her toughest ones, but he chose to remember all the others. None of the horrible challenges her disease put them both through could or would ever negate the good of their shared life together.

The same would hold true with Tessa. Of that, he had no doubt. It didn’t matter if her HD symptoms started tomorrow; he wouldn’t choose
not
to be with her for that reason. Never. Moreover, the thought of Tessa going through this
without him
one day made him…rabid. Alpha protectiveness was a mild description of what feelings that inspired.

Now, if Brian weren’t having the world’s most awkward conversation with Liv at the moment, it was very likely he’d be chucking his brilliant let-Tessa-come-to-him plan in lieu of heading to Tessa’s apartment right now and banging down the door so he could—

What? He sighed. What could he do? Tell her that her feelings were unwarranted, and her methods of dealing with it just plain crazy?

That wouldn’t help his cause one bit.

He just couldn’t believe that
this
was Tessa’s big solution. To set him up with Liv—who was amazingly still talking. He smiled at her, and she smiled back, ecstatic. Okay, so she was pretty and very nice—reminded him a bit of Beth, in fact. Was that what it was? He tried to see her from Tessa’s eyes, to see whatever it was that she thought was better for him than she’d ever be. Liv was beautiful, yes. Seemingly uncomplicated, so far. And…normal.

After spending all this time with Tessa, he wasn’t even sure what normal was anymore, or if that was what he wanted. Used to be. But now...

He knew what he had to do.

Preparing himself to head into completely unchartered territory, he put his hand on Liv’s shoulder to put an end to her nervous rambling and asked, “Do you want to get out here? Maybe grab a bite at a quiet restaurant where we can talk?”

Liv smiled—not a rainbow-eyed smile—but a sweet, pretty smile nonetheless.

“I’d like that.”

Here goes nothing.

I
T WAS THREE WEEKS
to the day. Three weeks since Tessa had seen Brian last. Three weeks since she’d overheard Liv gush to her nurse friends out in the hall about how happy she was to have met such a great guy.

Three weeks since Tessa had laughed.

Because every minute of those three weeks had hurt.

Tessa had avoided Liv like the plague since the day she’d set her up with Brian. It didn’t take a genius to see that she’d been right about that particular match. Liv was a great woman, a wonderful nurse to Jilly, and a sweet person all around. All personal feelings aside, Tessa really was genuinely happy for her. And for Brian as well. He was an incredible man, an amazing father to Skylar, and a real-deal good guy who deserved the best. In her heart of hearts, she knew she’d done right by him by cutting things off like her mom had suggested.

But
still
, it hurt.

And though she’d been able to plaster a smile on her face the few times she had run into Connor or Abby, or during her weekly skype chats with Skylar, she
knew
she wouldn’t be able to keep up the charade around Liv. Definitely not around Brian, either.

Which was why they were now going on three weeks to the day of her avoiding them both.

And still, it
hurt
.

“Hey Tessa!”

Damn it, damn it, damn it.
Tessa dug deep and slapped the best impression of a smile she could on her face before she turned around. “Hey Liv. How’s everything going?”

Liv lit up like a Christmas tree. “So incredible. The past few weeks have been…oh my gosh, I can’t even describe it.”

Oh good, please don’t.

“I’ve never been so happy.”

“That’s wonderful, Liv. I’m glad it’s all working out so well.” She was going to have to wash that last one down with some tequila later. Because right now, it was burning a jagged hole through her stomach.

And her heart.

Even though looking at Liv in all her joyful radiance was a bit like jabbing hot toothpicks into her eyes, she still appreciated what was standing there before her.

Love.

Lucky girl.

Liv gripped her arm.
What do you know, hot toothpicks on skin hurt like a bitch too
. “So Tessa, I really wanted to do something for you as a thank you. I mean, if it weren’t for what you did, I wouldn’t have ended up meeting the man of my dreams.”

Okay, let’s not get carried away. It was only three weeks to the day.

“My mom just loves him; and I absolutely adore his mother,” continued Liv, practically floating down the hall as they talked.