Finding Rebecca (5 page)

The alarm sounded way before I was ready to get out of bed the next morning, but I had to propel myself out of bed and get ready for work. I hoped that it would be a busy day and I could keep my mind off of missing Neil. The morning didn’t disappoint me in that respect.

In the past I hadn’t developed social relationships with coworkers because of Kyle. He would never want to go out for drinks or dinner with anyone, nor would he allow me to go out on my own. I didn’t want to have to make excuses of why I couldn’t go out with the girls so it was just easier to keep to myself. I was slowly moving away from the old me in that respect, so I gladly accepted when a couple of the other accountants asked me to join them for lunch.

It felt good to be able to have a conversation with other people that didn’t center on work.  I was feeling really good about things until we returned to the office from lunch. There was a sign in the lobby of the office building directing us all to be in the conference room upstairs at 1:30. We were all puzzled because there was no scheduled meeting for that day, but we dutifully reported at the given time.

The whispers and speculations bounced around the room until Samantha walked in and took a seat at the large rectangular table. Her eyes were red and swollen and her voice cracked when she first tried to speak. After clearing her throat, she was able to address us.

“It looks like everyone is here. Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I know you are very busy, but I have something that I need to tell you all.”

Everyone’s gaze was fixed on her and the expression on their faces told me that they were thinking the same thing that I was. “What could possibly have such a dynamic, professional woman so shaken?”

“As you all know, Neil has been out in our L.A. office trying to get it back in shape. I know we have all missed him here. I spoke with him a couple of days ago and he was telling me how great things were going. Everything seemed to be on track and he was planning to be back here next Monday. Unfortunately, that is not the case as of this morning.”

My heart sunk and my head was spinning as I tried to figure out just what was going on that would make Neil not want to come back. I silently tried to calm myself.

“Maybe she means he will just be delayed a bit. He might have more work to do,” I thought.

“I received a call about an hour ago to inform me that Neil has been in an accident,” she continued.

Everyone in the room gasped. At least I hoped that it was everyone. It may have been just me. I don’t know. Nausea came in waves as I tried to listen to what Samantha was saying.

“He’s in the hospital out there. They wouldn’t give me a lot of information other than he was in critical condition. I have been trying to reach his family since I got the news, but all I’m getting is voicemail. If any of you know how to get in touch with anyone in his family, please see me after we disperse so that I can relay what information that I have to them.”

That was all I could take. I jumped up from the table and ran directly to the ladies’ room down the hall. I barely made it into the stall before I started throwing up. Tears were streaming down my cheeks when I heard the door open.

“Rebecca?” Samantha called out. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah,” I managed to get out between heaves. “I’m just not feeling very well.”

Collapsing on the cold tile floor, my body shook as I cried. I hadn’t locked the door on the stall and Samantha pushed it open.

“I had no idea you were that close to him,” she said as she softly touched my shoulder.

I wiped my eyes and looked up at her. There was nothing but concern in her eyes.

“Samantha, I didn’t know when I met him. We had a-a fling, I guess you would call it, when I moved into the apartment. After I found out we would be working together, I tried to break it off. He didn’t want to. We tried to keep it a secret from everyone that we were seeing each other. I just talked to him on the phone last night. He said he loved me for the very first time.”

I couldn’t stop the words or the tears from rushing out of me. I knew that I was putting my job in danger with every sentence that I uttered, but I had to tell her.

“I’ve got to go to him,” I continued. “I’ve got to see for myself that he’s all right.”

“I don’t know that they will let you see him, Rebecca,” Samantha said as she put her arm around my shoulders. “He’s in ICU and usually only family is allowed in there.”

“I don’t care. I’ve got to be there.”

“Okay. We’ll make arrangements for you to go, but first tell me how I can get in touch with his family.”

“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I haven’t ever met any of them. I know someone who might know though. Let me get myself together and I’ll make a call.”

I pulled myself up off the bathroom floor and splashed some cold water on my face in the sink. It didn’t help. I looked in the mirror and saw how pale I was.

“I feel like a fool now,” I said as I looked at Samantha’s reflection in the mirror. “I’m old enough to know better than to get involved with a coworker. I probably should resign now.”

“Don’t,” she soothed. “It’s understandable. Neil’s a great guy and, trust me, there are plenty of women here that would love to land him. If I wasn’t his boss, I can’t say that I wouldn’t have tried it myself. You’re going to take a leave of absence, go take care of him, and then the two of you are coming right back to work.”

“Thank you,” I said as I forced a little smile through the tears.

The flight to Los Angeles seemed to take forever, not to mention getting my luggage and trying to dodge people to get out of the airport. I thought I heard my name as I weaved in and out of the people. I didn’t stop. It wasn’t possible that someone in California would know me. I heard it again and felt a light touch on my shoulder. When I turned around I was completely stunned by the woman who was following me. She had the same beautiful eyes that Neil had. It was obvious that they were related.

“Are you Rebecca?” she asked.

“Yes,” I slowly answered her.

“Wow. You’re just as beautiful as Neil said you were. I’m his sister, Jess.”

“Nice to meet you, but how did you know I would be here?”

“Carly told me when she called to give me the news. I wanted to meet you and take you to the hospital.”

“Thank you.”

“Is this all of your luggage?” she asked as she took my one bag from me.

“Yes. How is Neil?”

“He’s improving slightly. They don’t know yet just how much damage was done in the accident. He’s got a long way to go, but he has asked about you a lot.”

That made me feel so much better. Not just that he had asked about me, but that he was getting better.

“He didn’t even tell me he was in town,” she said as we drove through the city streets. “He could have stayed with me and this wouldn’t have happened. I’m a little pissed at him for that.”

“You live here?” I asked.

“Yes. I’ve lived here for about ten years now. The only time I get to see Neil is when he comes out here to work in this office and he didn’t even let me know this time.”

Not much more was said between the two of us until we arrived at the hospital. I was glad that she was there to convince the nurses to allow me into ICU.

Neil was sleeping when we walked in and I almost cried again when I saw him lying in the bed. His beautiful face was swollen and bruised. His entire lower body, from the chest down, was covered in a cast, along with his left arm. A maze of wires connected him to various monitors which were constantly flashing.

I gently kissed him on his forehead and he opened his eyes. I could see the pain in them and I hurt even more.

“What are you doing here?” he whispered.

“Did you think I would stay away?” I asked, stroking his hair.

“I didn’t want you to see this,” he struggled to talk.

“Don’t talk. You need to rest,” I told him. “We can argue when you’re stronger.”

Even the bruises couldn’t take away from his brilliant smile. He closed his eyes and went back to sleep. Jess and I stayed right there with him until they asked us to leave for the night. We were right back the next morning as soon as we were allowed into the room. This became a ritual until Neil was released from the hospital, which wasn’t for a couple of months.

The doctors had hoped that Neil would regain the use of his legs after his back healed, but he didn’t. There was still a chance that he would improve, but it was a slim one at this point. Maybe with a lot of therapy and some determination on Neil’s part, it would happen. He just needed that determination.

The car slammed into his cab so hard that it broke his back in three different places, causing a lot of damage throughout his spine. Neil was the lucky one because he didn’t have any nerve damage and because the driver of the cab didn’t survive the crash. He didn’t see himself as lucky though.

Jess had converted one of her bedrooms into a place where Neil could stay until he was well enough to travel back home. I was determined to stay with him and take care of him. He, however, tried and tried to get me to return home.

The doctors had warned Jess and me that he would probably go through a lot of anger and they recommended that he see a counselor, but he refused. As time progressed and his recovery didn’t, we saw the signs of that anger. The outburst got worse each time that they came.

“Why have you stayed this long?” he asked me as we were lying in bed on my last night in L.A.

“To take care of you, of course. I’m going to hate going back home tomorrow and leaving you here, but one of us needs to get back to work. I know that Jess will make sure you have what you need, but as soon as the doctors say you can travel that far I want you home. I want to be the one looking after you and taking care of you. We’ve got to get you back in the office, too. I bet that place is falling apart without you.”

We were supposed to make sure that the conversations stayed positive in order to fend off his negative feelings and I was trying to do just that, but he fought it most times.

“I don’t want you taking care of me,” he said, redirecting the conversation back.

The words cut through me like a knife, but I tried to act like it didn’t bother me.

“Well that’s what people do when they love each other,” I quietly said.

“This isn’t what love is supposed to be about,” he gestured at the lower part of his body. “Love isn’t sacrificing yourself for half of a man that can’t do anything for you. You’re a beautiful vibrant woman with a lot to offer a man. You should be with someone who can please you.”

“Don’t say that, Neil. I’m not sacrificing anything. I’m doing what I want to do and you can still please me.”

I sat up on the bed and took a deep breath trying to calm myself. My back was to him, but my own anger was beginning to come through in my voice. I knew it wouldn’t be good for either one of us to get into a shouting match.

“I’m not the man I was when I came out here. There’s no way you can convince me that you want to spend the rest of your life taking care of a man who can’t even get his cock hard, much less fuck you with it.”

“You are exactly the same man on the inside. The outside isn’t that important. You taught me that. I’d like to think there is a little more to our relationship than sex, but you’ve proven to me many times that there’s more than one way to satisfy needs. Besides, the doctor said that there is no physical reason that you can’t. We just have to do things a little different. Change can be good though.”

I propped on my elbow and traced the muscles of his chest with my fingers. His eyes were closed and I could feel his chest rising and falling with his slow breaths. I leaned in and gently kissed his soft lips. He didn’t make an effort to put his arms around me, but his lips did part slightly. My tongue explored the inside of his mouth as if it was a strange unknown place. He finally responded by putting one arm around my waist and holding me against him. It felt good to finally have him hold me again. I lightly kissed his neck and behind his ear.

“Let me try,” I whispered.

He didn’t object so I let my lips explore down his shoulder and across his chest. I paid close attention to his nipples, sucking slightly on each one. They began to harden under my touch. I took this as a positive sign and kept going. My lips explored his rigid stomach and my hands caressed his bare skin.

I sat up and pulled off my nightgown. Neil watched every move that I made without saying a word. I could tell that he was relaxing and enjoying the attention, but he wasn’t quite there yet.

Straddling his hips, I grabbed his hands and placed them on my breasts. The warmth of his touch sent those familiar tingles through me. Without any further encouragement, he massaged them and tugged gently on my nipples.

“I have missed our intimacy,” he said softly.

“Me, too,” I whispered and closed my eyes.

My hips were moving back and forth on top of him and I could feel a slight hint of an erection growing in his boxers. He pulled me gently down to him and I rested my weight on my arms. He began to suck and lick on my nipples. I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped from me.

The more I moved, the more I could feel his cock growing. It was nothing like before the accident, but it was enough that I could show him that we could still have the sexual part of our relationship, since that seemed to be his major concern.

I slipped my hand under me and into his boxers. I pulled his shaft out and eased it into my wetness. Sitting upright, I slowly moved up and down on it and he held onto my hips. His gorgeous smile returned as he watched me ride him.

It had been so long since our last physical contact that I couldn’t hold off the orgasm as it rushed through me. I moved back and forth on his cock and the base of it rubbed against my clit. My muscles clenched around him and I fought off the urge to scream out.

Almost as soon as I came, his erection went away. I wanted it to last longer, but I wouldn’t dare tell him that. As far as he was concerned, I was completely satisfied. This was a new experience for us. I wanted it to be a good one emotionally, as well as physically.

I eased myself off of him and lay down beside him with my head on his shoulder. His arm was wrapped tightly around me and he was smiling.  I wanted nothing more than for Neil to know that I was still turned on and pleasured by him.  Neither of us said much after that, but it was a comfortable silence. I fell fast asleep in his arms and slept better than I had since his accident.

The morning came much too quickly. I had to fight back the tears as I kissed him goodbye at the airport.

“I love you,” I whispered in his ear.

“I love you, too.”

“You make sure he does exactly what the doctors say,” I said to Jess. “I want him back home soon. My apartment is way too lonely without him.”

“Oh I will. You can bet on that,” Jess said as she hugged me tightly.

I walked through the gate to the plane without looking back. I didn’t want either one to know that I had lost the battle with the tears. The only thing that kept me from breaking down was the thought that Neil would follow me home soon.