Finding Pride (Pride Series) (11 page)

“I’m so sorry.” Megan reached out and took his hand. “I lost both of my parents when I was young.” Looking down at their joined hands she noticed how large his were compared to her own.

“Matt told me that they had died when you were young.” Todd could see that she didn’t want to talk about her childhood. So he quickly continued. “For the longest time we had a hard time dealing with Dad’s death. Now, we had to learn a new language to communicate with each other, and somehow we grew closer. We were all so very close, Matt had moved to Pride a year earlier. Lacey had met him in Paris when she lived there for a while. When he moved here, he just fit into the family. He was instrumental in helping me recover and take over my father’s business. Your brother was a great man. I think continuing with his dream for the bed and breakfast is great.” He squeezed her hand slightly.

“He would be very proud of you. He was always proud of you. But, this was something he’d dreamed you would want to be a part of. Every since he first came up with the idea, he wanted you to move here, you know.”

“I – he hadn’t mentioned it to me. I had some – issues, to deal with on my own.” She pulled her hand back and folded them in her lap, feeling the guilt spread again.

In truth, after the divorce, she’d needed to feel like she could make it on her own. Then, after the disaster last month, she’d made up her mind to move to Oregon, back in with her brother. But, she had wanted to wait until she’d healed before letting her brother see her. Now, she would do anything to change that decision.

“I should have been here,” she said more to herself.

“You couldn’t have changed anything,” Todd could see the sorrow in her eyes. “And in truth, you could have both been in the car that night when the trucker lost control.” He was right, she knew it, yet that didn’t stop the guilt. “Let’s take a walk.” He stood and helped her put on her coat.

It was a chilly night, but it hadn’t rained that afternoon, so it was warmer than the other nights. As they walked out onto the pier, she took a deep breath. She could smell the salt water and the food from the restaurant. The night was clear and they could see all the stars in the sky. She pulled her jacket closer to her. It was hard still since she was unable to put her right arm through the sleeves. She had just left it tucked up close to her body. She couldn’t wait until the cast came off.

Todd could see that she shivered when they walked out so he pulled her close and put his arm around her shoulders lightly. “How’s the back?” he asked in an easy tone.

“Oh, much better, that stuff you gave me really does help. I think I’ve gone from purple to green in record time.” She hadn’t meant to hint that this happened all the time. Turning her face towards the sea, so he wouldn’t notice the flush that came to her cheeks, she enjoyed the view.

Putting his fingers under her chin, he brought her face back to his. “Megan, you can talk to me. I won’t judge and I won’t hurt you.” She thought she heard the word “ever” afterward, but it was so softly spoken it could have been the wind.

“I know, your whole family has been so good to me. I – I’m just not ready. I just want to start my new life and forget the past. Can you understand?” she said looking up into his eyes.

“I’m here if you decide you need to talk. You know we all are. You may think that you’re alone, but you don’t have to be.” He ran his finger lightly down the side of her nose. Pulling her closer he felt her shiver again, this time not from the wind.

Her life had been a circus the last couple weeks. She could tell herself she didn’t need anyone now, but the fact was she’d never felt so good being held. Being a part of his family had opened something she’d long ago closed up and forgotten.

Todd was warm; she could feel the heat radiating from him, which caused her to shiver again. He’d pulled her close, her cased arm tucked in-between their bodies.

She could feel his stomach muscles bunch and flex against her hand. Then he pulled back enough so that he was looking down at her. Her eyes darted once to his mouth, which instantly rose up on one side, in a small smile. His mouth was very potent. She remembered the heat his lips had branded her with earlier that day.

She was small and soft in his arms and he didn’t want to let go of her just yet.

“I feel something for you Megan, I don’t know what it is yet, but it’s there.” He started to lower his head towards hers.

The kiss was soft, warming her to the toes. She put her free arm around him, wishing that her other one was free to do the same. She thought that it would be like the first kiss, but this time, it was slower, more potent. She started shaking again.

“Let me come home with you,” he said softly into her hair, minutes later.

She could imagine it. The two of them intertwined. Hadn’t she dreamed about it since their first meeting? What would it be like to take a casual lover? Could she afford to allow him in? Could she trust him, and more importantly could she trust herself?

“No.” It had slipped from her lips. Just one word had him stopping and looking back into her eyes. He could see the fear this time. Pulling his head back he took in her whole face. Her shoulders were tensed and she again was pulling away, this time he let her go.

“I can’t do this Todd, not now.” She walked over and leaned against the railing, once again raising her eyes towards the dark skies. “I’m a wreck now; I just want to pull myself together. I can’t get involved now. Can you understand?”

He walked over and leaned his hip against the railing next to her, looking into her face instead of the ocean. “I’m not in any hurry.” She jerked her head around to face him. When he just continued to stare at her; she turned back around to face the ocean. They stood there, her looking out over the dark water, and he looking at her, in silence for a while.

Iian had seen them leave; he knew his brother had a hard time when it came to relationships. It had only been seven years since Sara, Todd’s first wife had died along with the unborn baby girl. He knew Todd hadn’t even gone out on one date since then. There was something special about Megan, and the whole Jordan clan knew it. It wasn’t just that she fit in; it was more that she was already part of the family.

When he’d seen her in the muddy grave yard, broken and crying, he had wanted to pick her up and comfort her as a brother would. But, he knew Todd had other feelings for her, he saw it that first night in the living room. He knew his brother, maybe a little more after losing his hearing, after all some of his senses had become sharper. But, one thing was clear, his brother had lost his heart already, now he just needed to help Megan find hers.

When Todd arrived back home, after dropping Megan off, the house was bright with lights. He enjoyed living with his brother and sister sometimes, but tonight he just wished for some time alone. So, instead of walking back to the house, he turned and walked to the barn to check on Chester. Chester was a black shire horse; he was a great big beast that he had fallen in love with at first sight.

He’d gotten him years ago to help work the fields. Of course he had also purchased a John Deere that year as well. But, Chester was his connection to the old ways. He enjoyed riding the gentle giant through the fields, taking the time to groom him and care for him. Really Chester played a huge part in Todd’s stress relief.

As Todd walked into the barn, Chester gave him a snort of acknowledgment. “Good evening, how’s my big boy?” he walking over to the stall and giving Chester a carrot. “I’ll let you in on a secret,” Todd said leaning on Chester’s neck while patting him. “I think I’m in big trouble, and I just might like it.”

“
A
hot tub?” Megan’s head began to swim.

She’d gone to the local hardware slash lumber store to pick up some paint and supplies she needed to start work on the cabins. When she was there, the owner a Mr. Kent had informed her that Matt had ordered several larger items and that they would be in next week. He was also instructed to deliver and setup these items. When Megan asked what supplies they were, Mr. Kent smiled.

“Well, it’s that tub he ordered last month. He wanted to put it on that new deck he built off his bedroom. He spent all last summer building that thing with the Jordan boys. It turned out pretty nice. He also ordered a couple of small refrigerators, fancy bath tubs, and sinks for those other two cabins of his, real nice ones too. They’re supposed to be in on Tuesday. I’ll just give you a call when they come in and we could start installing them the next day if you want.” She had know about the other appliances, having seen the receipts in her file. But, she hadn’t know about the hot tub. Then it hit her. Next week! This wouldn’t give her a lot of time to get everything done.

Twenty minutes later, she was leaving the hardware store with the help of two young employees. The young high school boys helped her put the items into her rental car, and quickly ran back into the store. Her car was now weighed down with paint, a paint sprayer, some tarps, stain, and some tools she thought she would need.

She took a look around the small town. Every time she came into town, she found more reasons to like it.

People were walking around Main Street. There was a small barber shop, which sat across the way. Three older men sat out front, smoking. It reminded her of a picture she’d seen on a calendar once.

Across the street was a quaint little antique store with a small hanging sign above the door that read “
Adams Antiques
”.

Megan headed for it. She’d been enjoying the quite and seclusion of the house. But, her new life wouldn’t really start until she made herself part of this town. She was determined to make her new life here work.