Finding Parker (26 page)

After a sip of water, he continued, “her bone disintegrated. He was fascinated. He was further fascinated by the fourteen year old girl who brought him a plate of food she’d prepared while he was there.”

He hesitated and shook his head lightly, “The girl? Victoria. When he mentioned the mother’s name, I sat up in my chair, recognizing it from years before.
Fisker
. An odd name,” he nodded.

“After a little investigation, and a bit of her hair from school, I found out,” he closed his eyes and remained still.

I had so many questions. My mind began to race. None of these things explained his health. Or his current condition. Or anything. Confused, I stood and began to pace the room.

“What’s wrong with you? No bullshit.”

“I found out about seven months ago I had lung cancer,” he began to cough deeply.

“I opted for no treatment, and to die. I figured it’s what I deserved. But, before I left his earth, I wanted to introduce you to Victoria, and hope for the best.”

“That’s when I started placing advertisements to try to lure you to me,” he nodded.

“They didn’t work,” he began to laugh and the laughing brought a coughing spasm.

“We knew from the Private Investigator she spent all of her time away from home at the bookstore. Downes developed the idea of the ad which finally got your attention,” he shook his head slightly, as if embarrassed.

And it all began to make sense.

“That’s why the contract stated I had to go to the bookstore?” I asked as I stared at the wall above him.

He nodded his head.

“Seven years,” he breathed.

I shook my head in wonder.

“I waited seven years to actually meet her,” he paused.

“And for someone like you to come along,” he smiled.

“Why didn’t you tell her? Earlier? Why don’t you tell her now?” I asked.

He shook his head, “I couldn’t let her find out. And I can’t. Her mother told her the father died immediately after her birth. And she stuck to that story. Her mother was all she ever had. To tell her otherwise would ruin her trust of her mother, and in turn, their relationship.”

“All for a little self-satisfaction and selfishness on my part?” he closed his eyes.

He opened his eyes and began to cry. As he contained himself, and the crying slowed, he opened his eyes and looked my direction.

“And the greatest three gifts God could ever give me,” he hesitated and raised his hand.

“Meeting her,” he raised one finger.

“Meeting you,” he raised another.

“And giving my little girl away at her wedding,” he raised the third finger.

I attempted to digest everything he had said, and began to break down. As I started to cry, I covered my face with the palms of my hands and began to blubber. This was too much to understand, comprehend, and accept.

As I fought to regain my composure, Kenton spoke.

“When you decided to propose, I began to second guess my decision to die from the cancer. Everything was going so well, I decided maybe I did deserve to live. I decided after the wedding I’d go to a specialty hospital and seek emergency treatment.”

“You weren’t in Chile?” I asked, feeling stupid after I did so.

He shook his head.

“I was in Texas. At a specialty hospital. MD Anderson. The best. They tried, but, it was too late. Now? It’s running through me like a river,” he sighed.

“How long do you have?” I asked.

“About ten minutes for the medicine to wear off. And maybe a day from what the doctor said,” he shook his head and closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry, son.” he whispered.

I suppose many people would be angry, feel lied to and maybe cheated. I, on the other hand, did not. I know Victoria and I were meant to be together, regardless of the circumstances which brought us together. I wouldn’t trade the fact that we were married for anything on or of this earth. Kenton, to me, had been and continued to be nothing less than the father I never had. He was a gentleman, and a very intelligent man regarding living life and doing so in a manner which would cause others stand and take notice.

“I have two requests,” Kenton whispered.

As I attempted to speak, my voice faltered. I nodded my head.

“Never tell her who I am. Don’t ruin her mother’s name.”

I nodded sharply.

“Promise me, Parker,” he whispered.

I nodded my head and cleared my throat, “You have my word.”

“And. Bring her here. To see me. Before I die.”

I nodded again.

I turned toward the door, not really knowing what to say. My throat had developed a lump making it difficult to breathe, let alone speak.

“Parker,” Kenton grumbled.

I turned to face him.

“I love you, son.”

I turned to the door, and grasped the knob in my hand. I squeezed the knob tightly and turned it slow. As the door opened, I faced the open hallway and spoke.

“I love you too,” I hesitated, staring out into the hallway.

Slowly, I turned to face Kenton, and continued.

“Father.”

PARKER.
“Parker explained everything on the way here. I’m here. I love you so much.” Victoria was well composed, considering all things.

Kneeling beside the bed, she held his hand in hers while Downes and I stood and watched. Downes explained why he wasn’t able to give Kenton another shot for a few hours, and how it might cause heart stress or a heart attack. Kenton’s breathing was noisy and labored, as if his lungs were full of water. The shot Downes gave earlier had clearly worn off, leaving him no means of medicinal assistance. As Kenton opened his tired eyes and smiled, Victoria leaned into him and kissed his forehead.

“You know,” she paused and looked toward Downes and me.

Kenton raised his hand and wiggled his fingers. I walked to the opposite side of the bed and lowered my hand to meet his. Slowly, his fingers wrapped around mine as he gripped my hand lightly in his. I found it difficult to see Kenton this way, and made a conscious effort not to look into his eyes. As I stared across the bed at Victoria, she smiled and continued speaking.

“You’re not just a friend to me. You haven’t been since that night out on the deck when I asked you to stand up for me as my father. On that night it kind of
began
, I don’t know. It’s tough to explain,” she paused again and looked into Kenton’s eyes.

Kenton half-smiled and blinked his watering eyes. As Victoria began to speak again, he closed his eyes. It was as if her words provided him a certain comfort – an escape from the pain.

“But to me, the day of the wedding it all changed. It all came together,” she began to cry lightly.

“Now.
Right now
? Kenton Ward,” She paused again and wiped her tears.

“You’re my father. I want you to know that,” she leaned over him and kissed his forehead again.

As Kenton squeezed our hands simultaneously, his eyes still closed, he fought to develop a smile on his face.

In a dull whisper, he responded, “And you’re my daughter.”

Kenton coughed twice, slowly opened his eyes and whispered, “Until the bitter end.”

The grip on my hand slowly loosened.

His eyes closed one last time.

And he passed away.

PARKER.
The time which followed Kenton’s death was nothing short of a blur. The arrival of the ambulance, removal of the body from the home, all of the discussions…everything would become hazy when I attempted to think of it.

So, I’ve chosen not to think of it. Since Kenton’s death, neither Victoria nor I have returned to the mansion. Downes has kept somewhat to himself after the death, which is what I would have expected. His relationship with Kenton was very unique. They had developed a bond over the years that couldn’t be questioned.

The funeral service arrived before I was mentally ready, but I don’t know that we ever actually become truly prepared. As I sat in the funeral home, looking at a casket I knew was empty, I reserved a little hope that this was all a joke; and Kenton run into the room, waving his putter and laughing. Regretfully, this never happened.

Considering Kenton’s life of solitude, I was pleasantly surprised to see roughly one hundred people at the service. With Downes seated at my side, I looked up toward the lectern where Victoria stood. Her strength and devotion caused me to swell with pride.

In the black dress she had carefully chosen, and her blonde hair in a bun, she looked magnificent. Kenton would be proud of her insistence to provide the eulogy. It seemed as she’d been standing there for some time, but in actuality, it had only been a matter of seconds. As I blinked my eyes and looked around the room, she cleared her throat and began to speak.

“Kenton Ward was a man amongst men. He was an unselfish man, and gave far more than he ever took. One day at his home, after the passing of my mother, I stood on the back deck and stared out at the ocean, hoping for some sort of answer as to why she had passed away.”

“As I stared out into the water, a whiff of the beach filled my nostrils. I’ve always looked at natural aromas such as the beach as being a gift from God – his proof to us of his existence. When we attempt to inhale them eagerly, as I often do, they disappear. Well, on this particular day, at least initially, the scent came naturally. As I always seem to do, I inhaled sharply and lost the smell.”

“I stood and continued to stare at the ocean, aggravated for some time, hoping for it to return. It wouldn’t. Angry, I lashed out at my now husband and Kenton, mentally blaming them for my having lost the smell. Standing there with my nostrils filled with the smell of the beach, I had developed a manner of accepting my mother’s death; and I wanted to the scent to return. A confirmation from God, if you will, that everything was going to be okay.”

“Shortly, Kenton must have sensed something was wrong. He could do that, you know. He was a wise man with so much advice and such an ability to provide comfort. He stood to give me a hug, attempting to comfort me. As he held me in his arms, I became filled with a different emotion – one of love and acceptance. You see, Kenton accepted me for all that I am; my strengths and weaknesses, my shortcomings, even my foul mouth. He didn’t care. He loved me none the less.”

“As he held me in his arms, he told me he loved me, and I settled down. In having that conformation of his love, nothing else really mattered. He continued to hold me for an amount of time I can’t even come close to describing. Rocking back and forth on his heels, it was as if he were rocking a baby to sleep. And naturally, the scent returned. In my mind, it was God telling me everything would be alright.”

“I’ve never had a father. Well, I
had
a father, but he died immediately following my birth. So, from birth to present, I have not had a father in my life. Not until I met Kenton. Recently, after my boyfriend proposed to me, and we were beginning to plan the wedding, I went to Kenton’s home. Kenton and I were standing on the back deck, facing the ocean. It was a common place for us to talk. I had some things I needed to ask him, and I was trying to develop the courage to do so. Prior to asking him, once again, I naturally smelled the beach, and the scent all but immediately vanished. Nervously, I asked if he’d consider giving me away at the wedding. He graciously accepted. It didn’t really surprise me, considering Kenton was Kenton. He was a giver. I had one more question to ask,” she paused as he voice stammered and wiped the tears from her cheek.

“When a man and a woman get married, and the preacher asks
who gives this woman to be married?
” she paused and wiped her eyes again.

“I wanted to know if Kenton would respond
her father
. I wanted him to give that to me. To not only give me away, but for one day, my wedding day, to actually
become
my father.”she paused, bent at the waist, and raised both hands to her face.

After a momentary pause, she stood and lowered her hands to her side, “When I asked him if he’d stand beside me and respond,
her father
, as if he
were my father…I gripped the handrail of the deck, stared out at the ocean, and waited. At the same moment that he responded, the scent of the beach returned. I knew at that moment,
I knew
– everything was going to be alright. He said
yes
by the way. You see, Kenton Ward gave me what I have yearned to have for my entire life. Kenton Ward became
my father
. A father I never had,” she paused and wiped her eyes again.

She sniffed lightly and continued, “Kenton will be missed. By all, I am certain. But for me? For me? Every time the scent of the beach fills my nostrils, and it happens naturally, as if God provided it…I’ll know Kenton has returned,” she paused and wiped the tears with the back of her hand.

As her hands cleared her face, she concluded, “just to stop in and tell his daughter he loves her.”

As I wiped the tears from my eyes, I glanced around the room and watched as everyone else did the same.