Finding Mr. Right (6 page)

Dear Diary,

Playing the jealousy game can be a dangerous thing. Because at the end of the day, it can be you who ends up more confused than ever. Isn’t that how it always goes? Blake decided to come to my aid and join my lunch with Ben and Jasmine to help make Ben jealous, and, well, it worked a bit too well. Only thing is, Blake went completely over the top, and I got carried away myself, and now I’m in even more of a mess. Sometimes, I swear that Blake is my twin. Our minds both seem to be from another planet.

It was Gayle’s suggestion, though I have to admit that once she brought it up, I thought it was a great idea. I was through with meeting Ben’s girlfriends and acting like the dutiful, yet sad, best friend. Every time I meet one of these girls, she looks at me in pity. It’s quite obvious to them all that I have a crush on Ben and that he sees me as nothing more than his best friend. The only good thing is they all soon lose the pitying looks, because they all quickly learn that as his best friend, I am more important to him than they are. However, that doesn’t console me on the cold, lonesome nights when they are entwined with him in his bed while I’m stuck watching old Meg Ryan movies on Netflix, snuggled up to Lucy. It’s with an odd sense of calm that I take his calls and texts in the early hours of the morning after he leaves them in post-coital bliss, deciding that he just has to tell me what a mistake he made staying over and how he hopes said woman didn’t take it to mean too much. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to lecture him on sleeping with women and departing in the middle of the night. How dreadfully he treats them! But how good that makes me feel! “He’s not in love with this one, either,” I always say to myself, “so maybe there’s still hope for me.”

Blake agreed to come with me to the lunch because, as he put it, “a good dose of jealousy could help Ben see what he’s missing.” I wasn’t exactly sure why a professional man like Blake would actually want to get involved with my stupidity, but I warmed up to the idea pretty quickly. To say Ben was a little put off when we walked into the restaurant together was an understatement, and I have to say, a little thrill ran through me as Blake and I sat down across from Ben and Jasmine, who looked like she was taken right out of a Disney cartoon.

“Maggie, good to see you.” Ben gave me a kiss on the cheek. “And, sorry, I forgot your name?” He looked at Blake quizzically.

“Blake.” He smiled. “And your name again?”

“Ben.” He looked affronted that Blake could have forgotten his name. “This is Jasmine, my girlfriend.”

Jasmine beamed with pride as if she had just been announced as the winner of the annual spelling bee, something I highly doubt she would make past the first round in.

“Howdy, y’all.” Her perfect white teeth sparkled as she drawled her words. She swooshed her long, straight brown hair back and forth and fluttered her hands at us in a wave as if she were Ms. America saluting her fans.

Instant dislike hit me. “Howdy.” I smiled back, flicking my curly wet hair with my hands.

“Argh!” Jasmine screamed, wiping her face. Oops. My hair was still wet, and drops of water had hit her face after my flicking.

“Oh, sorry,” I said sweetly, and then whispered under my breath, “Water’s not going to kill you.”

Ben leaned over to Jasmine. “You okay, sweetie?” She smiled up at him. “I’m okay. I was just worried that water got in my eye and displaced my contact.”

“Gimme a break,” I said, again under my breath. I could see Blake trying not to laugh.

“So, Jasmine, what is it that you do?” I was going to put my best foot forward. I wanted to at least appear as if I was giving this bimbo a chance.

“I’m getting my doctorate in cognitive science,” she answered me, sweetly. Water came spewing out of my mouth.

“Are you okay, honey?” Blake patted my back as he stared at me with his eyes sparkling.

“Just ... swallowed ... the ... water ... too quickly,” I got out, trying to keep the shock and disbelief out of my voice.

“Cognitive science?” I turned to Princess Jasmine, not wanting to admit that I had no idea what that was.

“Yes, I’m actually a student up at Berkeley, but I’m doing my primary research down here while teaching a class at UCLA.” Jasmine flounced her hair around a little bit more. I wanted to reach across the table and pull it out.

“Oh.” I smiled.

Blake reached over and squeezed my knee. “Ben, aren’t we lucky to be with such intelligent women?”

Ben narrowed his eyes at Blake, but I wasn’t able to bask in the glory and wonder if he was jealous, because Jasmine asked me a question.

“So what do you do then, Maggie? Ben’s told me so much about you and how you are always there for him. I would have guessed you were his therapist, but then I don’t think you would have so much time to listen to his problems if you had other clients.” Jasmine laughed at her little joke.

“I work with Ben at ‘We Love to Read’. Surely he told you that? Or is your mind too full of your studies that you can’t remember what your boyfriend told you?” I realized too late that I sounded like a bitch, so I quickly added, “Just kidding. I know Ben is absent-minded, so maybe he never told you.”

“Yes, Ben never told me you worked with him. What are you, the receptionist?”

Bitch. “Actually, no.”

“Secretary?”

I resisted the urge to throw my glass of water in her face.

“I’m the volunteer coordinator.”

“Oh, an important position, I see.” Jasmine smiled at me and whispered something in Ben’s ear. He laughed.

“Maggie’s also an author,” Blake chimed in.

“And they may also make a movie out of my debut novel,” I beamed. “Blake’s setting it up.”

“Oh, it must help that your boyfriend has connections.” Jasmine smiled. “What’s the book about?”

Drat. “Actually, I ...” It was then that the waitress came to take our order. And not a moment too soon.

“So Blake’s your boyfriend now, Maggie?” Ben looked at me with a frown. “You never told me that.”

“Well, I was going to tell you, but, you know.”

“Know what?”

“You were so busy talking about Jasmine. I didn’t want to detract from that and draw the attention to myself.”

“I don’t know if ...”

“Oh honey, let her be,” Jasmine interrupted him. “She’s obviously just happy to have found herself a man.”

“What the ...” I was about to go off on little miss perfect.

“Actually, I’m the one who’s lucky to be with her.” Blake leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “She’s my little princess.”

“Little princess, huh?” Jasmine smirked. “Not a name I would have thought many people would call you, Maggie.”

“Why’s that?” Blake answered for me with a frown. My heart warmed towards him. “In fact, Matty Damonella and George Mooney have both told me how lucky I am to have Maggie.”

Jasmine looked at him with her eyebrows furrowed. All of a sudden, she didn’t look so beautiful. I could see all the lines in her hard face. I didn’t understand what Ben saw in her at all.

“Matty Damonella? Really?” She sneered.

It was at that moment that Brandon Fleck walked past the table. And then stopped. “Blake, how’s it going?”

I caught my breath and stared. I tried not to be too star struck but, I couldn’t help it.

“Good, Brandon. How are you?”

“Great, thanks to you.”

Jasmine gasped. Loudly. I smiled. I guess she wasn’t as cool and immune to Hollywood stars as she thought.

“Good, good. Filming going well?”

“The best. My trailer is second only to Brad’s, and, well, that 2% you got me on the backend for the deal. Well, let’s just say it could add up to a lot. We’re getting a lot of great press for the movie already.”

“Good to hear. Oh, Brandon, I want you to meet my girlfriend, Maggie.” Blake introduced me to Brandon Fleck.
The
Brandon Fleck.

“It’s a pleasure meeting you, Maggie.” And with that, he kissed my hand. “Well, good seeing you, Blake. I’m sure I’ll see you at your office soon.” I was still grinning like a fool as he walked away.

“Take that, Jasmine,” I thought to myself.

***

Later that night, I did something bad. Well, not horribly bad, like go straight to jail bad, but bad enough. I did feel guilty, but I resolved to myself that Jasmine deserved it. I wouldn’t have done anything if it hadn’t been for her last leaving comment. The rest of the lunch had gone seemingly well, or so I had thought. I mean, as well as it could have for it being a date where I watched the love of my life gush over Cruella DeVille while I played happy-faces with my old childhood friend, who incidentally was making me feel weird things with his romantic words and caresses.

Only it didn’t really work. Ben was so caught up in Jasmine that he barely had time to talk to me. Thank God Gayle asked Blake to accompany me on the date. Otherwise, I would have felt extremely uncomfortable, even more so than I do already. But it was Jasmine’s parting comments about ‘chubby chasers’ and ‘Hollywood’ that got me going.

I may not be a size zero, but I certainly wasn’t going to be put into the same category as a “Big Beautiful Woman.” Not that there’s anything wrong with being BBW, but whenever I think of that acronym, I think of kinky sex and sleazy dating ads. So really, Jasmine is to blame for the little ad I created about her.

When I got home, I was still seething at her comment, so I decided to create a rental listing on Tedslist. It reads:

“Former Playboy bunny (from one of the 2009 editions) is looking to rent a room in her luxurious mansion in Beverly Hills to a man with strong hands. Age is not a factor. Rent is only $400 a month so long as you are able to provide massages at least 3 times a week. Call or email me for more information.”

I laughed myself to sleep that night. There was no way half of all the freaks in LA weren’t going to contact her.

Dear Diary,

Ben and I aren’t speaking. Surprise, surprise. Jasmine was inundated with calls from men who wanted to ‘live with’ her, so she decided to do a study about the Internet, sexual predators, and something else, related to the brain. He wasn’t happy about that because that meant she had no time for him, really. Gayle was the one who told Ben about me posting the Tedslist ad. She claimed that she assumed he knew. But obviously I’m not going to tell him about my evil deeds. So Gayle and I aren’t talking, either. The good news is that I now have plenty of time to write my novel, which is actually coming along nicely. If a few pages equals nicely, that is.

Lucy was snuggled up at my side, snoring loudly, her mouth dribbling saliva like an oozing volcano onto the sheet. My laptop was on my legs, heating up my thighs, and I was daydreaming about Blake and me meeting different Hollywood stars. My hot thighs broke me out of my daydream; I’ll have to remember to get one of those small laptop desks for my bed before I burn my thighs to a crisp or crash my computer. Because that would be just my luck. I’d finally get the book up and started and then lose all my work due to my computer crashing. I could just imagine giving Blake that excuse. It would be reminiscent of some sort of ‘cat ate my homework’ excuse. It’s the sort of excuse that no one believes, but in my life it’s usually real. On second thought, I’ve decided I should add an external hard drive to the shopping list, as well.

“They climbed…” No, no. Backspace… “They scrambled…” Argh! I was frustrated. Trying to write the perfect novel in a time crunch is a hard job. I was leaning over Lucy to grab my thesaurus to find the perfect word for the sentence when the phone rang.

“Hello?” I grabbed it without looking at the name.

“‘Sup, Maggie Moo?” Blake’s voice always sounded as if he was half-laughing at me. I couldn’t imagine that he had the same tone when in important business meetings.

“Not much, Blakey-wakey. How may I help you?”

“I heard from Gayle about the Tedslist incident and figured you might need a friend.”

“Does Gayle just not know when to keep her mouth shut?” I muttered.

“She was just concerned about you.”

“Yeah, well she’s not my mother.”

“So how’s the book coming along? Can I set up the meeting yet? My contacts are really excited to talk to you,” Blake changed the subject. I guess he didn’t want to get into a long discussion.

“Actually I was just working on it.” Finally, a time when I could talk about the book without lying. “Um, I don’t know if it’s quite ready...”

“Maggie,” Blake interrupted me.

“Yes?”

“It’s not done, is it?”

“What’s not done?” My heart started thumping.

“The book.”

“Huh?” I feigned ignorance at his question.

“The book you are ‘revising’, it hasn’t been written yet, has it?” he asked softly.

“Why would you think that?” I try to act affronted but my words come out as a half-cry.

“Maggie. I may not have seen you in a while, but I’ve known you a long time, and I just have a feeling.”

“Are you mad at me?” That was all I needed to say to answer his question. I waited for the anger to erupt from his voice. For one more person to tell me that I needed to just do something and stop dilly-dallying.

“No.”

“Really?”

“Maggie, I knew you hadn’t written it after our first conversation, when you wouldn’t tell me exactly what the plot was about. You’re a sharer, not a hoarder, and if the book was done, you would have been talking about it all night.” There was amusement in his voice. I felt a tension release in my body.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to lose this opportunity. You know.”

“I know. And I’m serious that my friend wants to see a book sooner, rather than later. How far along are you?”

“Not very far,” I whispered the words, hoping that somehow they would sound better if not expressed too loudly.

I heard him sigh. “Oh, Maggie, what am I going to do with you?”

Kiss me. The words came to my brain involuntarily. What was I thinking? I had no interest in Blake. Did I?

“Do you have any time off?” Blake inquired.

“A little, but I don’t really have the money for a vacation right now.”

“Maggie! Not a vacation. Maybe you can take some time off and get to writing full-time so that we can have something good to go as quickly as possible.”

“Oh, oops, ha-ha.” Darn, it would have been nice to have been offered an all-expenses paid trip to Hawaii or even Fiji. I could relax on the beach and let the words seep out of me while I gazed out on the ocean.

“So, can you do that?” Blake broke into my reverie. I had been picturing myself dancing under the moonlight, with flowers tucked into the side of my hair and a handsome man, possibly Bradley Cooper, staring at me in wonder at his luck of being with me.

“Um, sure. Yeah, I will put in the time for next week.”

“Great. Let’s do dinner tomorrow. I have someone I want you to meet.”

“Okay sure.” And with that we hung up the phone. I was curious as to who he wanted me to meet. I hoped it wasn’t some sort of psychic guru who was going to help open my mind so that my creative juices could start flowing. I’d already tried one of those and it hadn’t really worked. Or perhaps he would introduce me to some famous author, who would tell me about their writing process and provide some sort of positive feedback as to how it always gets tough but you have to keep going.

Now I was getting excited. I wondered which author it was going to be, and hoped it was someone whose book I had read recently. How embarrassing if it were some New York Times bestselling author and I’d never read their book. I decided that I’d better catch up on the bestseller’s list and Wikipedia all of the authors and their books. Better to be prepared and able to impress. Maybe if I impressed them enough, I could get some free autographed copies of their book for We Love to Read so we could auction them off at our fundraiser and I could be recognized as employee of the year for the thousands of dollars I brought in. Ben would be very impressed with me then.