Authors: Katy Baron
“We didn’t mean to hurt you,” Ben finally looked at me.
“Hurt me? You?”
“I know that you had a crush on me.”
“Excuse me?” I look at Gayle accusingly, as I had never told Ben I had a crush on him.
“I know you liked me. I knew before Gayle told me.”
I squirmed in my seat, embarrassed and annoyed. I could feel my face flushing.
“I see.”
“Maggie, I’m sorry.” Gayle reached over to grab my hand. I recoiled from her and looked at her in anger.
“Sorry for what? Sharing my secrets? Or stealing the guy you knew I liked?” What was the point of holding it all in, I was already embarrassed.
“Maggie. I...” Gayle stammered.
“Gayle, let me speak first,” Ben spoke softly. I started at him in surprise. He seemed different. Not the usual cocky guy I had become accustomed to.
“Maggie, you know ever since we began working at ‘We Love to Read’ you have been one of my closest friends, my confidante.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“You know me, Maggie. I’m a ladies man. Or I should say I was.” He gazed over lovingly at Gayle. I wanted to puke.
“So you used me? As your sounding board?” I asked bitterly. It seemed to me that Gayle had gotten the change that I, myself had envisioned with Ben. Hadn’t I wanted to change him from the ladies man to the man in love?
“It wasn’t like that, Mags. He didn’t use you.”
“Oh, really? Is that what you are saying now, Gayle? I thought you told me he was an asshole and a player and that I shouldn’t bother wasting my time with him.”
“I did. I mean, that was how I felt.”
“‘Don’t waste your time on him, Maggie,’ you said. ‘He’ll give you an STD just from a kiss. He’s been around the block in more neighborhoods than we’ve been in combined.’ That’s what you said. So is it true? Did he give you anything?”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.” I could see tears gathering in her eyes.
“Maybe, you can tell us how it happened?” Blake, ever the voice of reason, interrupted.
“Honestly...”
I interrupted Gayle, “Yes, please be honest this time.”
“Maggie.” I looked at Blake, he was frowning at me. Maybe I should have left him at home.
“I was attracted to Ben when I first met him. But I knew you were as well. And as your best friend, I wanted nothing to do with a guy you liked.”
My mouth was agape. I had no idea she had liked Ben.
“So I thought I would wait until you moved on to the next guy. But you didn’t, and you and Ben became friends. And then Ben and I became friends.”
“So you guys were dating behind my back?”
“We never went on a date until recently. I swear, Maggie,” Gayle sobbed.
“I don’t understand how you guys got together then.” I was confused.
“After you told me about your lunch with Ben and Jasmine, I called him up and told him he was an ass to let her speak to you that way. And well, he asked if we could talk in person.”
“I wanted to see Gayle. You see, I’d had a crush on her for a long time as well. But I never thought I had a chance.” Gayle reached over and squeezed his hand. “And then...”
“Spare me the details.” I was softening but was still in no mood to hear the intimate details of their getting together.
“I’m so sorry, Maggie. Can you ever forgive me?” Gayle stared into my eyes.
I didn’t know what to say. Gayle had taken my happy ending. She’d converted the bad boy. All my dreams of showing up at the ball in my dress with my new svelte body were down the drain. Then I heard a loud burp.
“Oops, sorry,” Blake grinned at me. His eyes were sparkling, and I felt my stomach lurch. I couldn’t help but grin back at him.
“You’re gross, Blake,” I slapped him on the shoulder.
“Don’t hit me, Maggie. You know I could have you arrested for domestic violence. I have witnesses.” Blake pointed at Gayle and Ben, who were staring at us from across the table with surprise in their eyes. Ben’s eyes also seemed to have reproach; seems he might not have been interested in me but still liked my interest.
As I looked at Ben with his weak chin and floppy blond hair, I knew there was not an ounce of hurt coursing through me. I was interested in Blake. I had used Ben, in almost the same way he had used me. We had both needed someone, he to talk and me to be the listener. I’d been happy to have a close male friend, and had built fairy tales on the friendship that had nothing to do with reality or my feelings for him. What a mess. If I was honest with myself, I could remember several conversations where Gayle had asked me to repeat information over and over that Ben had told me, and Ben had always asked me to invite Gayle when we were going somewhere. Maybe it shouldn’t have been such a surprise.
“I forgive you, Gayle.”
Dear Diary,
I’ve been a bad, bad girl. You know those girls that you look at and turn your nose up at? The ones that you gossip about? Call them sluts, whores, and home wreckers? That’s me. I feel so ashamed of myself, yet, I feel so good. So empowered. Okay, and I feel a little guilty. I think I need to go to church and say ten Hail Marys, even though I’m not a Catholic. Okay, I’m a bit of a drama queen, but what I did was sooo bad.
Gayle and I made up within a week. Once I realized that Ben never really meant much to me and that Gayle had been crushing on him for years, I started to feel guilty. I mean if it hadn’t been for me, they might have gotten together a long time ago. Plus, I also needed someone to talk to about Blake. While Bridget was a really great friend to me, there was no way I could talk to her about my burgeoning feelings for Blake. The gym, my book, Gayle and Ben; everything else was fine, but Blake, he never came up. Which I thought was a bit strange. I mean if I had been dating him, he would be all I could talk about. But not Bridget; she never brought him up, save for some work-related conversations. I guess she just didn’t want to rub it in that she had Mr. Perfect and I had no one.
Gayle, Bridget, and I went to the gym together pretty regularly now. The marathon was coming up and I was starting to panic. Even though I was in better shape than I had been in years, I still wasn’t able to run for very long without getting bored and tired. Gayle had offered to change my run to the 5K or half-marathon, but I had something to prove. Not to myself but to her.
“Hey, Mags, wanna hit the sauna in a few minutes?” Bridget interrupted my thoughts as I cycled away on the recumbent bike.
“Sure,” I wiped my forehead with my towel.
We walked to the sauna slowly; mainly because I was enjoying the appreciative looks of some of the men in the gym. Okay, so the men smiling and looking me up and down worked there as maintenance and upkeep men, but it still felt good. I was no longer as upset at the fact that most of the men in the gym didn’t check me out; I’d figured out that most of them were gay and were too busy checking out each other’s pecs and biceps to be interested in my boobs and butt.
“So, been on any more dates recently?” Bridget grinned at me. She knew all about the dreadful dates I’d been on and had found it hilarious.
“No. Actually I cancelled my Cupidlove account. I wasn’t very happy with how it was going.” What I really meant was that I wasn’t really happy with the caliber of guys I was attracting and that I was planning on going back online when I had lost some weight or gotten Photoshop to help edit my photos a little bit.
“Ah, I can understand that.”
“Yeah. I’ve a mind to sue them actually for the bunch of losers I ended up going on dates with. Did I tell you about the guy who took me to that lobster restaurant? Told me to order anything and everything I wanted. ‘Money is no object’ he said. Well, of course it wasn’t. He had ‘left his wallet at home,’ and I ended up having to pay 200 dollars. Can you believe that?”
“I take it from the cost that you took him up on his offer to order whatever you wanted?”
“Well, I took his cue. He was ordering steak and lobster, so I figured why not?” I laughed. “Not only did it about bust my bank account, it made me gain 5 pounds as well.”
Bridget started laughing. “Oh, Maggie.”
“And then he had the gall to ask me if I had money to pay for a taxi as he’d had too much to drink and didn’t want to drive.”
“Oh, Maggie. You didn’t make him drive home drunk, did you?” She looked at me concerned.
“No. You know I wouldn’t do that. But I did one better. We called the cab over, and when it arrived, I told him to get in. I then pretended that I was going to pay the cab up front for him. But instead, I told the cab driver to take him to the O.C.”
“The O.C.? But didn’t he live in Los Angeles County?”
“Yup.” I started laughing. “I wish I could have seen his face when he woke up in Irvine. And the meter. It must have been hundreds.”
“Oh, Maggie,” Bridget couldn’t help laughing. “You’re incorrigible.”
“I haven’t heard that term since I was a little kid.” I laughed a little sadly, as the word reminded me of Blake.
“Sometimes I wonder if you still aren’t one.” She was shaking her head.
“I know, I know. Maybe that’s why I have such bad luck meeting guys. I’m too immature.”
“If anything, you should meet more guys. They are just as bad.”
“Well, not Blake,” I inserted his name into the conversation slyly. Hopefully, I could get some more information.
“Blake’s the most immature of them all.” And with that, Bridget started doing stretching exercises. I don’t know how she did it. The sauna was so hot, it was hard enough for me to just sit there and talk, let alone move around.
“Wanna go out tonight, Mags? I have some college friends in town who want to go to a club, and you know that’s not really my scene.”
“Sure, sounds good to me. Where were you thinking?”
“Not sure yet. I’ll find out. Invite Blake if you want, and Gayle and Ben, if you can stand being around them.”
I was a bit surprised that she wanted me to invite Blake, but maybe she was being thoughtful. She most probably didn’t want to couple up and make me feel uncomfortable as the lonely single girl, if it was too much for me. Bridget was just perfect. “Sure. I don’t mind if Blake comes. Or Gayle and Ben. What’s one more couple to add to the mix?”
“Great. I’ve got to get to the office to do some work, but I’ll let you know where the girls want to go.”
“Wow, you sure do work a lot. Blake doesn’t mind?”
“Ha, he’s glad that I’m working a lot. It means more money for us. We’re partners, so one working more hours means more for both of us now.”
“Oh, I see.” Were they saving up to pay for their wedding? And what a wedding that was going to be, if they needed so much money for it. And there was that word again. Partners. It was starting to annoy me. Why couldn’t they talk like every other heterosexual couple and just say they were boyfriend and girlfriend!
“See you tonight, Maggie.” Bridget glided out of the sauna looking serene. I could see her getting appreciative looks both from the maintenance workers and the men who were working out in the gym. I saw one of the guys I had definitely put in my gay book almost fall off of the elliptical watching her walk to the locker room. Guess I was wrong about the strength of my gaydar.
***
Blake, Gayle, and Ben were all in for going to the nightclub, and Blake even offered to pick me up, saying he wasn’t going to be drinking. I was surprised that he wouldn’t be taking Bridget and her friends but figured maybe they wanted a female bonding night away from men.
Bridget wanted us all to go to some swanky new club called Stars Alight, in Hollywood. I’d never heard of it, but Gayle said she would get the directions to Blake, as she had been there before. I wanted to ask her when she went, seeing as we had never gone to a party at night without each other for years, but realized it must have been with Ben, and I didn’t really want to hear about any more of their secret rendezvous.
“Shoot, I’ve only got an hour to get ready, Lucy!” I shrieked while running around my apartment. Unfortunately, Lucy thought it was a game and started running after me. Ever since we had started running outside more often, Lucy had gained an incessant amount of energy and had taken to running and playing more often than sleeping when at home. I had to be careful every morning when I woke up to make sure I didn’t open my eyes until I knew if Lucy was on the bed or not. I’d awaken and peek through my eyelids surreptitiously to see if she was looking at me, because once Lucy knew I was awake, she would drop a tennis ball or a shoe on my face, which indicated that she was ready to play.
“Not now, Lucy. I promise we will play tomorrow. I’ll take you on a long walk in the hills.” I bent down to kiss Lucy on the forehead and had to quickly move my face as she tried to lick me on the lips.
“What to wear? What to wear?” I mumbled to myself while looking through my closet. I took out 3 dresses and laid them on the bed and then ran into the shower.
“Don’t jump on the bed, Lucy!” I shouted out as I jumped into the shower. The last thing I needed was Lucy’s dog hair on the dress. I conditioned my curly hair and scrubbed my body quickly. I would need at least 45 minutes to blow dry my hair straight and apply my makeup.
The doorbell rang as I was shaving my legs, and I nicked myself. “Argh,” I shouted. There was blood running down my leg.
“Who is it?” I jumped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body.
“It’s me.”
I looked at the clock. Blake was early. I opened the door and glared at him, conditioner running down my face.
“You’re early.”
“That I am. Figured you might need some help deciding what outfit to wear.”
“Very funny. Have a seat. You can play with Lucy while I finish showering.” Lucy ran up to Blake in delight, tennis ball in mouth. I felt a bit bad for unleashing Lucy on him, as he had on a crisp black shirt and what looked to be some designer jeans. All in all, Blake was looking very spiffy in his sharp and soon-to-be-covered-in-hair outfit.
“Take your time. Gayle called and said they were running a bit late.”
“Hummph,” I mumbled, wondering to myself why they were going to be late. However, inside I was a little happy as that meant I had time to really get my hair as straight as possible. The humidity made it really hard for me to blow dry my hair and keep it straight for longer than 30 minutes.
Lucy was curled up on Blake’s lap when I finally came back out of the bedroom, with my hair in wavy tresses down my back. Blake whistled as I walked into the room.
“Sexy mama, you got a blind date tonight you haven’t told me about? Do I need to take watch again?”
“Ha-ha, very funny. No, I just felt like looking glam tonight.” And that I did, in my silk red dress and black pumps. My lipstick was also bright red and I felt like a bit of a tramp. But I knew the outfit suited me, and really, that was all that mattered.
“Well, glam you certainly are, my dear.” He held my gaze for longer than normal and I turned away, slightly embarrassed and somewhat shy. If I hadn’t known any better, I would have thought he was giving me bedroom eyes.
“Moo-moo, you got anything to drink?” Blake interrupted my reverie and made me mad.
“What did I tell you about calling me that?”
“That you love it?”
“I could kill you, William Blake Connor. What do you want? I have wine, beer, and water.”
“You have any Coke? I think I need some caffeine.”
“Sure, hold on. It might be flat though.” Ever since I had started my diet, I’d tried to stick to just drinking water, aside from when I went out. The Cokes I had in my fridge had been in there for months.
“You weren’t joking, were you?” Blake took a big gulp of the Coke and put the can on the table. “Maybe we should just get going? If you’re ready, of course.”
“Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go,” I grabbed my handbag and noticed that Lucy was running circles around the room. “Sorry, Lucy, not you. I promise we will go on a long walk tomorrow.” I bent down to give her a kiss.
“That sounds like fun. Can I come too?” Blake looked at me with a smile. If I wasn’t absolutely sure I was wrong, I could have sworn he looked hesitant and shy.
“Sure. I mean, if you want.” I didn’t want to sound too eager.
“Great. I wanted to talk to you about something as well, so we can do it on the walk.”
“Oh, okay.” I knew he had to have a reason why he wanted to hang out with me again so quickly. It was likely that he wanted to grill me about my book again.
“Let’s go, Moo-moo. I don’t want to fall asleep and miss the festivities.”
“Ha-ha, okay. Let’s go.”
***
The club was pretty packed when we got there. I laughed when I saw that the name of the club was actually Aligning Stars. It seemed to me that Bridget was human after all, as she had gotten the name completely wrong.
“I thought Stars Alight seemed like a weird name for a club,” I chuckled to Blake as we worked our way to the bar.
“What do you want to drink?” He had managed to push his way into an open spot.
“Sex on the beach,” I shot back.
“What?” he yelled.
“Sex on the beach.” Several men next to me looked me up and down.
“Maybe later?” Blake shot back.
“Pervert,” I hit his arm and laughed. He got our drinks quickly and led me to a quieter spot near the dance floor.
“Thanks,” I reached over to take my drink and our fingers grazed. I felt a tiny spark go through me at the connection. Shit! I didn’t want to be thinking or feeling these things for Blake.
“So is Bridget nearly here?” I asked, trying to verbally remind myself that Blake was a taken man and that I knew his girlfriend, and that she was a friend of mine.
“No idea.”
“Oh.”
“What about Gayle and Ben?”
“Let me text and find out.” I reached into my bag to grab my phone and find out where Gayle was. I expected Blake to do the same and find out where Bridget was but he just continued to drink his beer. I would never understand their relationship. It seemed so laissez-faire and laid-back. But maybe that was why it worked so well. Neither one seemed to have placed any expectations on the other.