Finding Kat (11 page)

“Great. Not a problem. Maybe I’ll take a break and look into direction. Or production.”

“That sounds like it could be a good idea for later on darling, but you are still in demand for movies. We need to capitalize on that.” Mom placated.

“I haven’t made up my mind yet. I will think on that after I land Damaged.”

I was tired of having the same conversation repeatedly. They’d catch on or I would hire someone else. I was tired of following their plan. I had too many plans of my own and refused to do anything other than what I wanted from here on out.

“Anyway. Next topic. When are the hair and make-up people coming to my house? The dress is being delivered tomorrow. The limo and everything is all set up. Are you meeting me on the carpet?” I pushed ahead into plans for the premier.

“They will be there at noon. I will see you on the carpet. I have a few interviews set up for you. That girl from E, Mario Lopez, a few reporters. Just say a few words about the movie and then promote the next one. Be charming. Say something funny. What does your gown look like? I would be good to be on the best dressed list.” She looked up at me then and raised her brow.

“It’s a new designer. Up and coming. They contacted me actually and I went in for several meetings and fittings. It’s different. Modern and daring. It’s gorgeous. Genius really. They needed someone to take a chance on them and get them some attention and I love their stuff so I decided it should be me.” I grinned.

I was really looking forward to dressing up this time. The dress was amazing. And the fact that Cade was going to see me in it created a whole new flock of butterflies to spark to life.

“You know how I feel about fashion but it’s too late to change gowns now. I trust your judgment on this one. I think that covers everything. Give me your phone and I will sync all of your appointments for the next week while we eat dinner. Go get your father and tell him we are ready to eat.” She held out her hand for my phone and plugged it in.

I walked down the hall and waved at my dad to come down to eat. As I wandered down to the dining room, I let myself get lost in visions of my date with Cade. I bet he looks fantastic in a tux. I giggled girlishly to myself at the thought. You’re welcome women of the universe who get to see him or pictures of him in a tux. Saturday couldn’t come fast enough!

The days leading up to the premiere were full of promotions and interviews. I wandered around one afternoon with Daniel and got some good shots taken by the paps. Exactly what Mom wanted. Cade made a point to call every night around 10 before bed. He was almost as busy as I was but seemed determined to make time for me. It was great.

I learned so much about him from our conversations. He wasn’t all moody and silent. He liked to talk to me about his past and about his brother and his band mates. He didn’t have the best childhood. He grew up poor and in a bad neighborhood. He lost his mother to cancer when he was a teenager because they couldn’t afford all the trials and treatments. His dad was pretty lost after her death. He started drinking and basically became a shell of himself. Cade said it was so hard because they loved each other so much.

I loved hearing him talk about how is parents met and fell in love. It sounded like a romance novel. His mom was visiting her brother at college and literally ran into his roommate. It was love at first sight for both of them. His mom said looking into his eyes made her heart race and her stomach fill with butterflies. His dad said that she had a pull, that if she was in the room his eyes couldn’t help but follow her. He had to be near her, he said, had to hold her and protect her.

I gushed over the story like any lover of true romance would and Cade laughed at me and said I was just like is Mom. I couldn’t help but preen a little. He loved her so much and I felt honored that he saw anything of her in me.

We flirted a lot over the phone. Made plans for dates we would go on when things settled down. It was as if we lived in a bubble and our romance bloomed with attention and lack of pressure from the outside world. I hoped that when it was exposed to pressure it wouldn’t pop.

The night before the premier, he called me and asked about the schedule for the next day.

“I’m going to be at the spa all morning. I can’t wait to just lay there and do nothing for five hours straight.” I sighed imagining the bliss and relaxation.

“It’ll be a nice change for you. You’ve been running yourself ragged lately. You fell asleep twice on the phone last night. I’ve been a little worried about you. “Cade did sound worried. It was sweet.

“I’m fine. I do this all the time. I get nice breaks in between films and I have one coming up soon. I’ll rest then.” I said trying to reassure him.

“Just make sure you eat whole meals. You’ve said a few times that you snack all day in between takes. If you need to take a little longer to make sure you’re eating well, the director is just going to have to deal with it. He would be pissed if you passed out on set and got sent to the doctor and delayed filming.”

“Yep. He would be. Don’t worry about me, Cade. I’m a big girl. I’ve been doing things this way for a long time and nothing has happened yet.”

“Yet. If you keep going this way, your body is going to fail you, and you will be forced to take a break. I know all about that. It’s happened to me a few times on tour. I’m just trying to save you from pain and inconvenience.”

Sometimes I forgot that he was a rock star with experiences similar to mine. He had a grueling schedule too, and he wasn’t trying to boss me. He only wanted to help.

“Sorry, Rock Star. I’ll be more careful in the future. Thank you for the help. I’m glad you’re finally getting a break. I know you’ve been really busy the last few years, too.”

“I’ve been ready for the break for a while and it was past time to get back in the studio. I’ve been writing new music but it’s not the same on the road. There’s no real time to do the work needed to get everything the way I want it. I’m sure you’ve noticed I’m a bit of a perfectionist.”

I laughed. That was an understatement. The way he talked, he was the leader of the band and had a hard time corralling the guys into doing what he wanted, the way he wanted. They were good friends and knew him well enough to push his buttons just for the hell of it.

“I may have noticed. Just a little. It’s kind of cute.”

I’d become acquainted with his quirks and habits. He could talk for hours about guitars and acoustics. I understood about half of what he rambled on about but I liked listening anyway. He got so excited about the smallest details.

“I’m a man, Kat. I’m not cute. I’m rugged and handsome, not cute. Never cute.”

“Oh ok. Sorry. You’re so ruggedly handsome and manly. Oh.” I fake moaned. “I just want to bask in your manliness. Please honor me with your presence O’ paragon of mannishness.”

“Maybe one day soon I will deign to allow you to be near me. I know you will be in awe and unable to talk so I will fill the silence with odes to my maleishness.”

“Oh my god. Odes to your maleishness. I wonder what that would sound like.” I laughed.

He then spent at least a minute making up a song describing his “maleishness.” It was hilarious. I really liked his sense of humor.

“You’ve gotta get out to the studio with us soon.” He said after we stopped laughing. “I’ve been dying to hear you play the guitar. It’s so fucking hot that you know how to play.”

“Ugh. I want to so bad! I hate that I’m so freaking busy. I’ll carve out some time for that soon, I promise.” It was hard trying to start something with Cade when I didn’t have the time to see him. I couldn’t wait for things to slow down.

CADE

My brother and I got together for lunch a few days before the big premier. I had kept him updated about Kat and he watched the episode of Jimmy Fallon. We met at a small sports bar where no one would recognize me, or care if they did know who I was.

“You must like her, at least enough to go find her and meet her again on live TV.” Chris said probing me for information.

I coughed, choking a little on my beer. He was a nosy fucker, and a direct one.

“I’m interested.” I said. I hoped I could give him as little information as possible and change the topic. I’ve always liked to keep things private and whatever Kat and I had going, I wanted to keep it to myself if possible.

“Come on. You’re more than interested. I know that just watching you on TV. You know what Dad always said about Mom. How he knew she was his when he met her, he just had to convince her. I’ve always wondered if it was bullshit he spouted off for her benefit or if it’s possible to know that fast.” I was a little surprised by this speech. He had always laughed off Dad’s claims of love at first sight.

“He believed it, so I believed him. I don’t want to say that he is wrong or right but I did feel something the second I saw her jumping around with Ally in the hall backstage. She looked so happy and carefree. I was intrigued, but I wouldn’t say that I knew instantly she was meant for me or whatever. I don’t think it’s that simple.” I frowned; this was a deeper conversation than I intended to have over lunch and beer.

“I just always liked the idea that when I saw her I would know she was the one for me and that would be it. I know Mom always looked so happy listening to him tell that story. She must have heard it over and over again when she got sick, it was the story she always requested he tell the most.” He trailed off, remembering her.

My Dad was a pretty romantic guy for an engineer. He was into science and building things, finding out how they worked. But when it came to Mom, and love, he believed in things that you couldn’t explain or reason away. It was one of my favorite things about him, that he loved her so much, it’s what made it so hard to be around him after she died. It was as if part of him was gone and he was just waiting for it to be his turn. He pulled it all together for Chris and me but he wasn’t the same happy, hopeful man he used to be. It made me sad to think of him being so alone, but he didn’t want us to hover around him worrying. He wanted us to do everything we dreamed of doing because “Mom is watching us, and if she knows you’re following me around, watching me wallow she would be pissed off.” She would. She would be pissed at him too, and he knows it, but we let him be anyway. She was our mom but she was his soul mate.

“He watched Fallon with me, you know. I told him about you meeting her and how you tracked her down.” I punched him in the arm for his meddling. I didn’t hit him hard; I knew why he did it. He wanted to get Dad excited about something again, something other than work and the latest flea market find he was planning to restore.