Finding Justice (27 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

J
AY
WHIPPED
HIS
CAR
keys
from the plate by the door and followed Cat outside. She stood beside the car,
one hand on her hip, the other across her mouth. The heartbreak and fear for
Julia shone like a beacon in her dark green gaze. The color that had left her
face when she picked up the phone had yet to return.

He swallowed back his anger and shame. He had undoubtedly put
his mother, his father and Sarah through exactly the same thing. Whatever
happened, Jay was getting on that train with her, whether she liked it or
not.

Jay pointed the keys at the car, the locks shunted open and Cat
got in, apparently mindless of her single suitcase sitting beside the car. Jay
lifted it into the backseat before rushing around to the driver’s side. He slid
into his seat and shoved the key into the ignition. They roared away from the
cabin, gravel flying up by the side of the car. He headed down the descending
road of Clover Point toward the town center as fast as he could drive without
tipping them over the edge into the sea.

“Come on. Come on. For Christ’s sake, Chris, where are
you?”

Jay turned as Cat shook her phone in the air. “He’s still not
answering?”

“No. I can’t believe how far away I am from her.”

“I called the ambulance, Cat. She’s on the way to the hospital.
You know she’s stable.” He reached across and squeezed her hand. “It’s going to
be all right.”

She snatched her hand from his and glared. “Knowing an
ambulance has taken her on her own to the hospital isn’t making me feel any
better, Jay. I want to be with her. I want Chris with her.” She squeezed her
eyes shut. “I don’t know how I’m going to control myself when I see him. How
could he do this?”

Jay turned back to the road. “We don’t know what happened yet.
You need to take it easy.”

“Take it easy? My God, are you defending him?”

“No, I’m saying we have no idea what tactics Julia used to get
rid of him. Come on, Cat, if I wanted a fix, I didn’t give a shit who I lied to
or what I said. Chris is new to this. So is his fiancée. Your mother could
easily have set this up.”

Jay clenched the steering wheel tighter in an effort to stop
from touching her. He’d never seen her so scared or angry—the way she yelled at
him to stay away from her when they were at the cabin reverberated in his ears
and sliced at his heart. She was terrified. That was what caused the ice-cold
anger in her stormy green eyes. She was beyond livid with Chris leaving their
mum alone to try to take her life. That was what was behind the venom in her
tone. It couldn’t be about him. It couldn’t be about him annoying the hell out
of her on top of everything else she was going through.

Fear and loathing rose up inside him in equal measure. Would
his selfishness ever end? Here was the love of his life terrified for her mother
and the thought taking over his mind was whether or not Cat would leave and
never come back. Why had he not understood her asking him to reaffirm his
innocence over Sarah after Bennett gave such an Oscar-winning performance at the
beach? Cat was scared, but she was a professional. The question had been about
Sarah, not him. He was an asshole.

He slammed his hand against the steering wheel without
thinking.

“What the hell was that for?” she snapped.

He turned. “What?”

“You think smashing the steering wheel is helping my nerves
right now?”

“No. Sorry.”

“Then stop it.”

“I stopped.”

“Not just with the steering wheel, either. Stop with the
scowling and the cursing under your breath. None of it is helping. It’s all
irritating the crap out of me.”

“Has Julia tried anything like this before?” He hoped a change
in direction would lessen the tension between them, before she completely
flipped out.

“No.” She sighed. “Never suicide. Never this. That’s why I know
it can only be down to me leaving.”

Jay shook his head. “You don’t know that, so don’t think it. Do
you know how many times my mother blamed herself for my drug abuse? Too many to
count according to my dad. It was half of the reason why it took him so long to
look me in the face after I came out of rehab.”

“This is different. You were with strangers when you were
using. Mum was with me. I was responsible for her. She relied on me being there
to pick her up.”

Protective anger heated his blood and singed hot at his cheeks.
“Well, she was wrong to do that. You’re her child and she was wrong to rely on
you for anything.”

Silence.

He glanced at her. “Shout at me. Tell me I’m wrong. Deep down
inside can you ever imagine you doing that to our kid...I mean, your kid?”

The heat of her gaze bored into his temple and he cursed the
slip of his tongue. If she hadn’t wanted to run and never look back before, she
certainly would now. Silently cursing, Jay pulled into the road leading to the
station. Time was running out.

“Chris? Oh, thank God. Where are you? You’re with her?” Her
voice cracked.

Jay looked across to see her drop her head back against the
headrest, her cell phone at her ear. The tension left her body in a rush of air.
He pulled into a vacant parking spot in front of the train station door and cut
the engine. Without thinking, he gripped her hand as it lay limp on her leg.
Relief pumped into his heart when she squeezed her fingers tightly around his,
her eyes closing.

“She’s okay? Uh-huh. Well, what does the doctor say?” A long
pause. “Okay, well, I’m at the station now. I’ll be home in a couple of hours or
so. Did the police find her?” Another pause. “Uh-huh, yeah, well, I won’t
forgive you for this. She scared the crap out of me. What? No, Chris. Not
now.”

She snapped the phone shut. “Can you believe he wanted to talk
about rehab? Now?”

“She’s in the perfect place to talk about it.”

“What?”

“The hospital can deal with it for you. If we can
convince—”

She inched back against the door, held up her hand. “We? What’s
all this ‘we’? There is no ‘we,’ Jay. I’m staying with Mum.”

She scrambled from the car, yanked opened the back door and
dragged out her case. She ran toward the station doors before he had time to
draw breath.

“Shit.” Jay leaped from the car and, slamming the door, raced
after her.

She took off at a sprint and was through the sliding doors of
the station like a cat through a narrow alley. Her body skimmed through the
crowds of travelers, leaving Jay feeling like a bounding, clumsy rhino chasing a
redheaded gazelle.

He darted his gaze around the crowded platform. He couldn’t let
her go without him. She needed him now more than ever even if she was too
stubborn...or scared to see it.

He rushed forward to the ticket office. The woman behind the
counter flinched and inched back. Jay tried to soften his scowl but the
desperation ripping through his blood at ninety miles an hour was too
intense.

“When does the next train to Reading leave?” he panted. “Which
platform?”

“It leaves in three minutes, platform six.” She stared at him,
wide-eyed. “You’ll never make it now. I can get you a ticket for the next one
at—”

Jay took off, leaping and jumping through people like an out of
control jack-in-the-box. His blood roared in his ears as he took flight after
flight of stairs, gathering speed, yet knowing he was too late. He was chasing
the fittest, sexiest cop on the planet. He was an ex-drug addict with a
once-a-week gym attendance. The woman would most likely leave him standing if
they were to run track together.

He burst onto platform six just as the whistle blew and the
train, carrying the woman he loved more than life, drew out of Templeton Cove.
Jay sank to his knees.

* * *

T
HE
HOSPITAL
’
S
METALLIC
smell of antiseptic and cleaning detergent
hit Cat’s nostrils with the same overwhelming force it always did. She exhaled
through pursed lips and rushed straight to the Emergency reception desk. She
bounced from one foot to the other, waiting for a woman telling the receptionist
her “cystitis was burning like hell” to move out of the way. When no end seemed
in sight, Cat pushed forward unable to contain her self-control. She whipped her
badge from inside her jacket and flashed it.

“Excuse me. Sorry.” She looked at the exhausted-looking
receptionist. “I’m here to see Julia Forrester, attempted suicide brought in a
few hours ago.”

The woman glanced at her badge before scanning the screen.
“Room forty-two, second floor.”

Smiling her thanks, Cat pocketed her badge and hurried toward
the stairwell the receptionist indicated. The smell might have been familiar,
but the hospital layout wasn’t. Every time her mum had been brought here, Cat
had sat beside her in a curtained cubicle in the emergency room while Julia’s
wrist was plastered or her head bandaged. Then they’d gone home. This was
different. This was a suicide attempt. This time she’d have a room. A bed.

Cat took off at a jog. She found room forty-two at the end of
the corridor and stopped. Her hand shook on the door handle. Her feet welded to
the tiles.

The past few days with Jay passed like a video behind her
closed eyelids. Their time in the forest, their arguments, their kisses...their
lovemaking. Did any of it really happen? Right now, her time with him felt
little more than a dream. A pipedream. Opening her eyes, she blinked back her
tears and opened the door.

“Mum.” The single word left her mouth on a soft breath.

Chris came forward and went to take her hand but Cat brushed
past him to her mum. Against the stark white of the sheets, Julia looked like a
ghost. Her skin was dove-gray. Her eyes were hooded and vacant, two bruises
showing charcoal beneath. Her lips were the palest pink. Cat came closer.

“Mum.” Cat picked up her hand from the bed.

Her mum turned to her and two tears shone like crystals beneath
the harsh light above them as they slipped down Julia’s cheeks. Cat blinked and
her tears broke, too.

“What did you do?” Cat leaned forward and pulled her mum into
her embrace as Julia’s body wracked within the circle of her own. “What did you
do?”

Aware of the door opening and closing behind her, Cat was
suddenly grateful for Chris’s absence. She needed this time alone with her mum
as they’d been alone for the seven years leading to this day. A day, Cat
realized with deep and sudden clarity, that she always knew would come. Guilt
and hopelessness whirled inside of her as she clung to her mum’s skinny frame,
seeking comfort as she had when she was a child.

“I’m sorry, baby.” Her mum’s words brushed over Cat’s temple
and lifted her hair. “So, so sorry.”

Cat squeezed her eyes tightly shut. The immediate response
burning on her tongue was to tell her it was all right, that everything would be
all right. Jay’s face filled her mind’s eye. Everything wouldn’t be okay, not
anymore. His strength and determination seeped into her blood and her courage
burned brighter. So he wouldn’t be there for her. What did it matter? She could
face down criminals. She could handle Bennett’s betrayal. She had brought
Sarah’s killer to justice...and she could get her mum into rehab.

So her love for Jay would fade. She swallowed.
God, please let it fade.

Gently, she eased her mum back and looked into her sad hazel
eyes. “It’s time, Mum.” She brushed her hair back from her face and cupped her
jaw. “It’s time to stop.”

She nodded. “I know. I can’t—” Her breath caught on a sob and
she put her hand to her mouth. “I can’t do this to you, to Chris...to me
anymore. I’m tired, Cat. So tired.”

Tentative hope poured into Cat’s heart along with the fear,
distrust and desperation she felt for so long. “Do you mean it this time? Really
mean it?”

Cat thumbed away Julia’s tears as they poured down her face,
their significance neither lost nor dismissed. It was the first time she had
seen her mum cry since her husband’s coffin squeaked and trundled away behind a
curtain the color of freshly drawn blood.

Julia nodded.

Pulling her mother into her arms once more, Cat whispered,
“Then it’s time for the professionals. I can’t do this on my own anymore.”

Her mum’s trembling intensified and Cat held her tight. Tried
to absorb the terror that clearly gripped the woman who gave birth to her and
provided so many years of laughter and piggybacks, cookies and cheers before her
father died.

“It’s okay,” Julia whispered. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Then I need to hear you say it. I need to hear you say the
words.”

The creak of the door behind her had Cat dropping her arms from
Julia and turning around, ready to cuss Chris out for disturbing them during
such a momentous step forward. When she turned, Cat’s breath left her body in a
rush. “Jay.”

He stood in the doorway, his broad frame filling the space, his
gaze not on Cat but on Julia. Her mum stared at Jay as though not really
believing what she saw. Cat imagined she had the exact same expression of horror
and embarrassment on her face, too.

“Julia.” He came into the room and walked to the other side of
the bed from Cat and sat down.

A knot of tension formed in Cat’s stomach as her mum’s arms
fell away from her body and went around Jay. Her mother closed her eyes and
dropped her head onto his shoulder, her eyes shut, silent tears slowly trailing
down her cheeks.

Jay met Cat’s gaze over her mother’s shoulder and his eyes were
steely with determination—yet edged with a tenderness that told Cat in no
uncertain terms he was there for her, and her mum, whether she liked it or not.
Exhaustion settled like lead around her and Cat slumped beneath its weight.