Finding Justice (19 page)

His smile faltered. The mammoth task of starting to make up
things to people felt amazingly more achievable than keeping Cat in the Cove. If
she really didn’t want him, he would let her go.

Then why don’t you? How many more times
does she have to say she needs to go back?

Jay frowned as he stared ahead. He sensed that her reasons for
returning to Reading had very little to do with her personal happiness and until
he knew for sure, he couldn’t give up. He hadn’t followed her seven years ago
but instead embroiled himself in his own dreams—he wouldn’t blame her if she
thought he might do the same again.

Today, his need for her shone supreme and with it the knowledge
they had serious work to do with regard to Sarah’s murder and their personal
lives, if they stood any chance of a future together. Jay truly believed the
pair of them together was what they both wanted. Desire flared in her gaze
whenever they were alone. Her body trembled under his fingers when they’d made
love...and then were doused when her thoughts turned to home.

Suddenly the desperation to get to Cat increased with every
stop and start of the car in the snail-like traffic. If need be, he would
relocate to Reading. She needed to understand that. Jay frowned. It would mean
leaving behind the carnage of four years of drug-addicted chaos. Would people
see his leaving as running away? His entire life before Cat came back had been
about atoning for the pain he’d caused his family, his friends and associates of
his father’s. If he left, would everyone think he didn’t care?

Jay tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Nothing could be
further from the truth. He’d find a way to apologize for the things he’d done,
wherever he was. Moving to Reading didn’t mean he was running away, but rather
finding the freedom and peace of mind he needed to show his regret as a new and
improved man. He would do whatever it took to be with Cat this time.

When he reached Marian’s bakery, Jay parked and haphazardly
pointed the key fob over his shoulder to lock it. The bell above the door
announced his arrival and when he stepped over the threshold he came to an
abrupt standstill.

Cat grinned from ear to ear as she served the customer in front
of her. She looked stunning. Breathtaking. Her deep-red hair was caught up in a
white hat, her nose lightly powdered with flour, making her enticingly full lips
look redder and more provocative than ever. When the customer walked away, Cat’s
gaze locked with his, her green eyes widening and cheeks flushing before she
looked down at her hands.

Jay’s heart kicked. She was even more beautiful when she was
embarrassed.

He cleared his throat and walked closer. “Is this what I think
it is?”

She met his eyes and her smile stretched into a grin. “Good
morning, sir. Coffee? Full breakfast?”

He laughed and his gaze dropped to the lips that had trailed
over his chest, shoulders and neck the night before. “What are you doing?”

She executed a mock curtsy, holding out the hem of the white
apron she wore. “I’m working.”

Jay stared as his mind wandered to the soft-porn place of
wanting her to bring the apron home so she could wear that, and only that, later
on. He swallowed, glancing behind her where Marian was busy issuing orders to
her staff.

“I can’t believe she has you working behind the counter,” he
whispered. “You do realize you’ve signed up for the summer season, whether you
like it or not?”

Before she could respond, Marian turned around and marched
toward them, the two oversize oven mitts she wore looking far too much like
boxing gloves.

“Oh, here he comes to wreck the day.”

He looked to Cat for support, but she just shrugged. He dragged
his gaze from hers and faced the woman who always gave him a harder time than
his mother.

“Well, thanks for the cheery welcome.”

“It isn’t a welcome. It’s a warning.” Marian snatched off the
gloves and fisted her hands on her hips. “Cat arrived here over an hour ago
tossing me questions like I had all day to sit around answering them. No doubt
you were off gallivanting around doing something or nothing and left this poor
girl to tackle Sarah’s murder by herself.”

He turned to Cat.

She smiled. “I’ve already asked Marian if she thinks she and
George are up for a challenge.”

Marian’s small brown eyes shone with excitement. “If there’s
something George and I can do to help, we will.”

“George will be here in anytime now.” Cat wiped her hands on a
towel. “Then we’ll sit down and work out what we’re going to do.”

“And in the meantime you thought you’d help out?” He quirked an
eyebrow.

“Exactly. You’re not the only one who can learn the bakery
business from the bottom up, hotshot.”

Marian laughed. “Oh, it sure is good to meet someone who can
match that mouth of yours, Jay Garrett. If you two end up in bed...well, people
better run for cover.”

“Ain’t that the truth.” His gaze locked with Cat’s.

Marian cleared her throat. “Why don’t the pair of you sit over
there and I’ll bring you some coffee while we wait for George?”

Jay watched Marian expertly wrap two loaves in paper for the
next customer. “I’ll tell you something about this girl, Jay. She’s been here
conducting her investigation and all the while serving my customers like she’s
worked here for years. That’s not something to sniff at.”

“I’m sure it isn’t.” He faced Cat once more. “You must be
wanting a break. I’ll be over there.”

He walked to the four or five tables set out in the far corner
where people could watch the world go by while enjoying a cup of coffee and a
slice of one of Marian’s sinful cakes. As Jay waited for Cat to join him, he
willed his heart rate to slow. His rush to get back to the bakery hadn’t been
just about telling Cat he was willing to leave the Cove, but also fear for her
safety.

Yes, she was capable of knocking a guy down, but what if he
took her by surprise? What if the killer watched her right now? He noted the
numerous familiar faces sipping cups of tea and buttering scones. One or two
raised their hands in greeting and he flashed them a returning smile and wave.
Danger lurked like an invisible phantom. The sooner they solved this murder, the
easier he would breathe.

Whether Bennett was first to catch the son of a bitch or they
were, it didn’t matter. Jay just wanted him behind bars. Once they had spoken to
Marian and George, he would have no choice but to leave Cat alone again while he
went to his old drug haunts. He didn’t want her anywhere near the places he once
considered home and it was time he started doing some investigating of his own.
He clenched his fists under the table. Especially if Bennett still suspected him
of wrongdoing. He watched Cat exchange a few words with another customer while
untying her apron.

He needed to cover the drug area of the investigation pretty
damn quick before it occurred to Cat to go there alone when his back was turned.
He stared at her. She’d managed to blend seamlessly into yet another role in the
name of duty and he could easily imagine her walking straight into one of those
filthy neglected places without so much as a blip in her stride.

Yet despite his fear for her, pride burst like a balloon behind
his rib cage and a smile tugged at his lips. The sight of her behind the counter
when he walked into the shop gave him more relief than he thought humanly
possible. The woman was a dynamo. His dynamo—and he wanted her to stay
alive.

Cat took the coffees Marian held out to her. When she reached
the table, she held out one of the cups to him.

“Here. Black, no sugar. Blame Marian if it’s wrong. Although,
she did look incredibly disappointed I didn’t know how you took your coffee.
Clearly she thinks I should know such things about you despite being here less
than a week.”

He took the coffee and blew across the top. “Hmm, you don’t
know that, but you do know I have a birthmark on my butt.”

Her burst of hushed laughter jerked his groin and she glared.
“Stop it. Right now.”

Jay grinned as she slid into the seat opposite him, clearly
struggling to control her smile.

“We’re here to get things rolling.” She looked at him
pointedly. “Once we have Marian and George busy, we’ll go to every place you
think we’ll find a lead on any possible drug connection Sarah might have had.
But I am still holding out hope that Bennett is wrong about that and Sarah got
the money from somewhere else.” She took a sip of her coffee.

Jay met her eyes and any optimism he had that Cat might not
want to go with him died. “I’d prefer to go alone.”

Her gaze turned steely. “I’m coming with you.”

“Cat—”

“Don’t get all macho and protective on me. There is nothing at
these places that can surprise or shock me. I’m a cop. I’ve seen it all
before.”

“It’s not your inability to deal with what you might see that
bothers me.”

“Then what?”

He took another drink to ease the dryness in his throat. Their
eyes locked over the rim of his cup. “It doesn’t feel good to know you’ll see
how low I sank, see the lifestyle I let myself get dragged into.”

She reached across the table and took his hand. “You’ve told me
everything and I’ve dealt with what happened, okay? It’s time you did, too. The
only reason I want to go with you is because I can use everything we hear or see
in court if I have to testify.” The skin of her neck shifted and a soft apology
flashed in her cool green gaze. “Unfortunately, my testimony will hold a lot
more substance in front of a judge than yours.”

“Because I’m an ex-junkie.” Anger seeped into his blood along
with a hefty injection of shame and regret. “My God, will I ever be allowed to
forget how much I screwed up?”

She squeezed his hand. “Yes, and I think going back to these
places will help you see you’re a success story, one of the few that survived,
rather than be a harsh reminder of what you once were. This will be good for
Sarah...and you.”

He turned toward the window. How could she look at him with
such admiration when she’d known him before the drugs? Knew how his life was
there for the taking, but how even when every opportunity was available to him
he flung it all back in his parents’ faces? The night they spent on the beach,
he promised her the world and then stayed away despite knowing her life must be
falling apart when her father died. What could he say to make it better? What
could he do to let her see he would never let her down again?

Watching the sun glint off the gray pavement, turning it
silver, Jay curled his fingers tighter around hers. “It’s hot out there.”

“What?”

“The heat will send the junkies running for cover rather than
heading for the beach like anyone sane and sober. It should be pretty easy to
find Jordon.”

“Who?”

He faced her. “Kyle Jordon. The main man in Templeton when
dealing with narcotics. If Sarah was involved in that scene in the slightest
way, he’ll know.”

“So he’s dangerous.” It wasn’t a question. “Could it be
him?”

“That killed Sarah?” Jay lifted his shoulders and inhaled a
shaky breath. “It’s possible.”

She drank her coffee, her eyes not telling him anything of how
that thought affected her. “Well, we’ll find out either way, won’t we?”

The regret of their lost years culminated and fell heavy into
Jay’s heart. “I’m sorry I didn’t check up on you, Cat.”

She smiled softly. “Don’t apologize. Never apologize. We’re
human. We’ve both made mistakes.”

There it was again. That sadness in her voice. “What mistakes
have you made? What is it you think you’ve done wrong?”

Her gaze darted over his face and she slowly slipped her hand
from his and clamped it with her other around her coffee cup. She stared into
the milky-brown depths. “I’m making mistakes every day and have no idea how to
stop.”

“What are you talking about?”

She looked up. “Can I ask you something?”

Jay’s heart twisted and he braced himself for whatever further
admission he would have to make. Whatever she asked, he wouldn’t lie to her.
“Shoot.”

“When you were in rehab, did you ever feel abandoned?”

“Abandoned?”
Where had that come
from?
“No. Never. I felt violently angry at the start, when I wanted
a fix, then scared when the hell of withdrawal racked my body with pain like
I’ve never known, but never abandoned.”

She stared deep into his eyes. “Honestly?”

“Honestly.” The pain in her eyes was more than Jay could take
and he stood, gesturing for her to slide along the seat. “Move over.”

“What?” Panic burst into her gaze. “What are you doing?”

“Move.”

He pulled back his shoulders. She might have had him totally
under her control in bed last night, so weak with lust for her if she’d told him
to get on all fours and bark at the moon, he would have. But that was then, this
was now.

She hesitated another moment before sliding along. Jay sat
beside her and put his arm around her shoulders, pulled her close. She trembled
and he held her tighter. The scent of her perfume, musky and enticing, wafted
under his nostrils and he fought the urge to press his face into her hair.

“Why did you ask that? What’s going on?”

She hesitated and then her body slumped under his arm as though
the fight slipped from inside her. “I don’t think I can do it anymore. I’m so
tired.” Her voice cracked.

Whatever it was she didn’t want to do, she didn’t have to. He’d
fix it for her. Whatever it was, he’d fix it. “Can’t do what? Work for the
police? Sarah?”

She shook her head and her hair fell like a ruby red curtain
over her face, hiding her from him. “Mum. I don’t think I can help Mum
anymore.”

“Julia?” He knew it. Every instinct in his body had screamed
her sadness was rooted in her mother. “What is it, Cat?”