Finding Justice (14 page)

“What?”

She held his gaze. “Do you know anything about a letter?”

His hand slipped from hers and he pushed to his feet. He stared
down at her, his gaze intense in the semidarkness. “I don’t believe it.”

“What?”

“You really suspect me, don’t you? You really think I could
kill Sarah.”

“Jay—”

He raised his hand. “Don’t, Cat. Just don’t.”

Anger and defensiveness burst behind her rib cage. “You lied to
me, Jay. What else am I supposed to think? We have been together all afternoon
and you’ve made no attempt to tell me what happened with Sarah at the bakery.
Were you hoping I’d forget about it?”

He glared. “Of course not.”

“So what is it you expect me to believe? You were the last
person she contacted. I need something from you to prove it’s impossible you
could have killed her. I need you to prove it to me so I can draw a line through
you as a suspect. You cannot expect me, a cop, to believe you just because you
ask me to.”

“I’m not asking
the cop
to believe
me, Cat. I’m asking
you.
”

She shook her head. “No, you don’t get to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Play the emotional card. You give me facts. You start being
honest with me. I want to know what happened. I want to look at you and know
you’re telling me the truth. How am I supposed to do that when you haven’t told
me what happened that day?”

Their breathing sounded loud in the quietness of the night. The
sky felt closer and the forest darker. How would they ever get past the brutal
murder of their best friend? Cat clenched her jaw and waited. He would answer
her question or face the real brunt of her wrath because right then she had no
other way to look than at the person she still loved despite seven years of
pretending she didn’t.

He raised his hands in surrender. “I stupidly thought the
explanations could wait until after we’d found the real killer. I stupidly
thought you’d know I would never hurt Sarah and that Bennett was a moron for
wasting time on the wrong damn person. Clearly I was wrong.”

She glared. “Yes, you were. So let’s get it out there. Why
didn’t you tell Bennett about Sarah calling you? And why didn’t you meet her as
she asked you?”

The seconds beat like minutes, the tension heavy and tense
between them.

Jay exhaled and his shoulders slumped. He pulled out his chair
and sat. “I didn’t tell Bennett about the call because our exchange when he
questioned me wasn’t the most productive conversation between an inspector and a
civilian, that’s why.” He picked up his drink. “The guy is an arrogant
prick.”

“All cops are to a suspect when they want answers. Wait until
you see me questioning someone I don’t like the look of.”

The glass halted at his lips, his gaze darting over her face.
“Is that what he said? He didn’t like the look of me?”

“Not in so many words, but I can tell he’s got you down as a
spoiled rich kid. How much trouble did you give him when you were using? You
might want to cut him a little slack if that’s the only impression he has of
you.”

He drained his glass. “I didn’t give him any trouble.”

Cat lifted her eyebrows. “Are you sure about that?”

He scowled. “Yes, I’m sure. Anyway, I had nothing to tell him.
He gave me a look like he didn’t believe me and he left even though I gave him
my alibi.”

“And what if Bennett still suspects you and brings it up in my
face again?”

“He can’t suspect me. He hasn’t been back here. I’m clear.”

Cat swallowed knowing he was far from being in the clear as far
as Bennett was concerned. Jay was the only suspect the police had—and that made
him more vulnerable than he could ever understand.

“Where were you, Jay? More important, who were you with?”

His jaw tightened. “Working.”

Unease prickled the hairs at the back of her neck. “At eight
o’clock at night?”

“Yes.”

She closed her eyes and counted slowly to five to get her
racing emotions under control. In her heart she felt Jay’s innocence but it
wasn’t enough. She had to know for sure. He met her gaze and Cat’s heart ached
to see the despair, guilt and loss there. “Jay?”

“Sarah was at the bakery when I was supposed to meet her. I was
late because I was working. I’m always working. That night I was with four
visiting executives. I gave Bennett their names and assumed he’d follow up with
them for their statements. Why wouldn’t he? He cannot ignore four people.” His
gaze dropped to her lips, sad and full of regret. “It’s what Marian meant when
she said she believed I could change when others don’t. I craved work like I
craved drugs. I let Sarah down because of work and I’m going to know that for
the rest of my bloody life. I didn’t tell Bennett about the phone call because I
felt like crap, Cat. Even with the alibi, I was possibly the last person she
spoke to, and I’m a drug addict. I ran scared. I’m an idiot, but, my God, it’s
why I rang you. I needed you because you’re a cop and I knew...or at least
thought I did, that you’d know I’d never hurt her. Ever.”

He pushed to his feet so abruptly his chair clattered to the
floor behind him. With a final look at her, Jay turned and stormed into the
house. Cat stared after him. This was a murder investigation and he’d lied to
her. She shouldn’t trust him. So why did she want to go into the house, put her
arms around him and promise him she’d fix this? She’d fix everything.

She leaned her elbows on the table and dropped her head into
her hands.

What was she supposed to do next? She longed to wave a magic
wand and make everything okay again. God, she’d do anything to bring Sarah back
to them alive and well. But she couldn’t do that any more than she could take
Jay’s words or anger as proof he was innocent of any wrongdoing. She was a cop.
She needed proof, no matter what her heart wanted to believe.

She lifted her head and stared at the patio doors through which
Jay had disappeared. She was also the daughter of an alcoholic, an addict. That
had taught her more about disappointment, broken promises and lies than even her
years in the police force could. Inhaling a long breath, she stood and slowly
walked toward the cabin. One way or another, Jay had to understand her head and
her heart. Only then could they move forward for Sarah—and each other. Together
or apart, Cat would not allow her feelings for Jay to sway her decision making,
personally or professionally.

Addicts lied, addicts swore they’d changed but so rarely did.
If Jay wanted her trust, he would have to prove himself to her in more ways than
he could ever understand.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

W
HEN
C
AT
WALKED
INSIDE
, Jay was sitting on the couch
with his head in his hands. Pulling back her shoulders, she slowly approached
and sat beside him. The ticking of the wall clock sounded loud in the pregnant
silence. His cologne teased her nostrils and she inhaled.

“I want to believe you didn’t kill her, Jay. I want that more
than anything.”

His hands slipped from his face and he turned to look at her.
His forearms stayed on his thighs, his shoulders slumped with exhaustion.
“But?”

“But in the end what I want counts for nothing without proof.
I’m sorry.”

He stared and then closed his eyes. “You’re doing your job. You
know what I am now. An addict. Someone who was so messed up at one point he
frightened the hell out of his best friend. I don’t blame you for wanting
proof.”

Her heart aching, Cat slid her hand into one of his. “Then
we’ll find it, okay? If you’re innocent, the proof will materialize. It has
to.”

He opened his eyes and she stared deeply into them. “It will be
all right, Jay. We’ll find the killer and you will be free from all that guilt
you’re carrying around.”

His gaze dropped to her lips and he leaned closer. Even knowing
what he was going to do, Cat didn’t move back. His mouth covered hers and she
lost her head when his tongue touched hers. The passion and frustration, for
each other and Sarah, surged into the moment and they went with it, heedless of
its ramifications or what happened next. His hand came up and slid under her
hair to grip her neck. Cat welcomed the domination as he tugged her against him,
her breasts crushing against his chest. Jay. Her Jay.

The kiss deepened, their hands moved and explored, his thumb
brushed her nipple... Cat pulled back, her breath short. They stared, both
searching for something from each other. When nothing but the plea to trust him
materialized in the deep brown depths of his eyes, Cat looked away.

“We find Sarah’s killer and then we deal with this.”

“This? Meaning us?”

She met his eyes. “Yes.”

He smiled softly. “Sounds like a plan.”

She tentatively met his smile. “Good. But right now, we need to
find out why Bennett hasn’t eliminated you from his enquiries.” She swallowed
the frustration stuck like a rock in her throat. “We need to find that out so we
can lay your part, and your mistakes, to rest once and for all.”

He dropped back against the settee, his gaze fixed on the
fireplace in front of them. “I like the sound of that.”

A modicum of tension left Cat’s shoulders as she watched his
profile from beneath lowered lashes.

He blew out a breath. “You know, my parents aren’t proud of
what I’ve done since I’ve been out of rehab. They’re scared.”

Cat frowned. “Scared?”

He nodded. “They think work is consuming me but know it’s
better than cocaine so they leave me alone. It’s hard facing them every time I
go home for a strained family dinner and watch them tiptoe around the
drugs...and now work.”

“They’re working on forgiving you. You should do the same. We
all have to think that way or else we’ll be taken under.”

“But how do I deal with the fear on their faces that I might
start using again? You have no idea what it’s like to feel so untrustworthy. I
thought seeing the distrust in their eyes was unbearable, but in yours it’s ten
times worse.”

Cat looked to the floor, shame burning deep inside as her mum’s
face filled her mind’s eye. Jay’s words proved he was well on the way to
recovery. He recognized and acknowledged people’s fears for him, his family’s
deep emotional worry. Her mum couldn’t care less about seeing shame or fear or
anything else in her daughter’s eyes and that was the heartbreaking thing about
Cat’s inability to cure her.

She turned to look at him, took his hand and squeezed. “You’ve
got so much to be proud of. Because you care, you’re getting better. Your not
being there didn’t kill Sarah. The bastard who put his hands around her throat
did that.”

“Cat—”

She shook her head. “I mean it. And Sarah has to be held
accountable for some of this, too.”

He stared at her as though she’d lost her mind. “How can you
say that?”

Tears stung her eyes at the unnecessary loss of such a
wonderful woman. “Why didn’t she go to the police? They could have helped her.
Why did she need us?” Cat cursed the crack in her voice. “Only Sarah knows why.
Why didn’t she ring you again after you didn’t show at the bakery? We know she
was killed around the time she was due to meet you, but how soon after?” She
stared at him, willed him to vanquish some of the guilt that shone clear in his
eyes. “We’ll never know why she thought she was doing the right thing by walking
into that forest. So, no more blaming ourselves, okay?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know if that will ever happen, but
I’ll try. In the meantime, what are we going to do about Bennett?”

She inhaled a shaky breath. “You leave Bennett to me.”

A small smile lifted the corner of his mouth. “Uh-oh.”

Feeling some of the tension dissipate between them, Cat smiled.
“Let’s focus on Sarah’s letter first and I’ll deal with Bennett after that.
Sarah said she needed my help. She asked me here even before you did. She knew
her life was in danger and we were the only people she could trust with whatever
was going on. I’m more convinced than ever her killer is local.” She paused. “We
need to find her lover.”

“Wouldn’t Bennett be looking into that?”

“He didn’t mention a lover to me but you’re right, that doesn’t
necessarily mean they don’t know about one.” She raised her eyebrows. “Bennett
wasn’t exactly generous with information. He knows I’m going to be poking around
but I’m not convinced he’s entirely happy about it.”

Jay lifted his shoulders. “As far as he’s concerned, I couldn’t
give a damn. Sarah’s letter is a step forward. If she knew her killer, that
eliminates the hundreds of possible strangers we would have had to consider
before.”

Cat stared down at their joined hands and took a deep breath as
she prepared to throw yet another problem into the investigation. “Things are
going to get a lot worse before they get better.”

He turned, his brow creased. “Why?”

Cat grimaced. “She stole over fifty grand of her killer’s
money.”

“What?” Jay’s eyes grew wide. “Fifty grand?”

She nodded. “It doesn’t take a genius to work out the killer’s
motive. The complexity of her murder has grown worse with her letter, not
better. I can’t help thinking Bennett suspected exactly that when he decided to
let me in. He needs all the help he can get.”

Jay slipped his hand from hers and pushed it through his hair.
“Jesus. What was she thinking?”

Cat looked at him. “She wasn’t. She was terrified. Doing
whatever she could to make this person see sense. You know Sarah, she probably
thought she was helping him rather than inviting his anger. Or in this case,
rage.”

“Did she tell you where it is?”

“All she says is that she hid it on Cowden Beach. She didn’t
give me her lover’s name, either. Said she couldn’t take the risk of writing it
down but she’d tell me as soon as I got here. The point is, she wrote me the
letter on the day she died but it wasn’t posted until after she was killed.”

“Meaning someone must have read it.”

“Exactly. Whoever that someone is has probably been waiting for
me to arrive and now knows I’m here.”

His jaw tightened. “Then you’re in as much danger as
Sarah.”

Cat shrugged. “Maybe. The difference is I can shoot a gun and
have a black belt in Tai Kwon Do.” She winked.

“This isn’t funny. I’m not letting you go—” He looked to the
ceiling, shook his head and then met her eyes. “This isn’t funny.”

Cat’s heart lurched. What had he been about to say? She
couldn’t see past the mania burning in his eyes, the raw anger and frustration
seeping from his pores, threatening to pour out of him like liquid anarchy.

“Listen to me.” She grasped his hand. “I’ve gained access to
the incident room once and I’ll do it again by using this letter. It’ll be
another way to get to show Bennett I’m playing hardball. Maybe he’ll give me
more of what they know.”

“If the person who mailed the letter was in any way involved
with Sarah’s murder, wouldn’t they have burned it? Surely they’d want that
letter gone, not for it to reach you.”

“Not necessarily. Maybe whoever mailed it knew Sarah had told
someone else about it and didn’t want the cops asking questions about a letter
that was sent but never arrived.”

He pulled his hand from hers and stood to pace back and forth
in front of the fireplace. Cat dropped back against the couch and crossed her
arms to counteract the cold feeling seeping across her shoulders. Jay wore the
expression of a man trying hard to maintain control.

She’d bet a hundred pounds his mind was as wrapped up in her as
it was in Sarah and the letter. He looked mad. Protective.

Cat watched him. He had to get ahold of his emotional reaction
to her being under the same dangerous threat as Sarah. The anger visibly coursed
through him. He loved Sarah...and he loved her and God only knew what nastiness
they were yet to uncover. Cat was braced for it, trained for it, but the way
Jay’s face shone with undisguised fury beneath the subdued lamplight spoke
volumes.

His eyes were two pools of blackened rage. His frustration
evident in the sharp line of his jaw and the vein pumping like a broken arrow
down the center of his forehead.

He gaze locked on hers as he came to a standstill. “So what
next? We try to find the money?”

Cat ignored his question. “Are you okay?”

“What?”

She pushed to her feet and fisted her hands on her hips,
mirroring his stance. “Are you okay? Because you don’t look it and I’ve watched
too many potential witnesses, civilians and victim’s family members be so torn
apart by rage and guilt they lost sight of everything else.”

His jaw tightened. “I’m fine.”

“Because if you’re not, your concentration is blurred and
you’ll be no help to me or Sarah. You have to keep calm, Jay. You could be the
person who needs to focus the most, who unconsciously knows the most. You could
be the key to this and if you’re mad you could miss a vital and intricate piece
of the puzzle.”

He continued to glare, his mouth pulled into a tight line. The
fraught silence stretched like a rubber band around them, threatening to snap
and leave a great red welt of their failure in its path.

He tipped his head back to look at the ceiling. “You’re in
serious danger here, Cat.”

Cat’s heart swelled with love for him. “I know, but we won’t
let that stop us finding who did this.”

His gaze locked on hers. “The guy has your number. He could be
watching the cabin right now for all we know. We’re pinning your hopes on
nothing.” He shook his head. “How the hell are we supposed to find money hidden
on a couple of miles of sand? It will take hours of manpower to search an area
as big as Cowden Beach. Sarah might as well have tossed it in the damn sea.”

Irritation simmered inside her and Cat struggled to keep it in
check. Attacking him, shaking him wouldn’t help either of them. “It will be in
one of the places we used to go as kids. I’m sure of it. If she wanted our help,
was scared for her life, it makes sense she’d want us to find it before anyone
else.”

He crossed his arms. “We don’t know that.”

“But it’s somewhere to start. If we can get ahead of Bennett
and his team, I will be even happier. I want us to be the ones who find her
killer. Don’t get me wrong. If Bennett finds him, great, but wouldn’t it be
peace for us knowing we did that for her? That we brought her killer to justice
even if we couldn’t save her life?”

“Of course it would, but by the time we scour every inch of the
places we used to go, you’ll be called back to Reading and then what?” He pushed
his hand into his hair and held it there. “I can’t do this on my own, Cat. We
have to solve this while you’re here or I’ll go insane, I swear.”

“We’ll find it.” Cat took his hand, willed him to believe. “We
will. We just need help. Help from people you and I can both trust...”

An idea so preposterous it could only be right, filtered into
her mind.
Could they?

Cat smiled. “I’ve got an idea.”

Jay shook his head. “Uh-oh, you’ve got that look on your
face.”

“There are two particular people we both know who love nothing
more than sticking their noses in everyone’s business and will practically
combust thinking they have superior knowledge over Bennett.”

He stared at her for a moment before comprehension lit in his
eyes and a smile curved his lips. “Please tell me you’re not thinking of letting
Marian and George in on this?”

She grinned. “Why not? They are an elderly couple with the
gumption of two people half their age. Who’s going to suspect them of being up
to anything at the beach? They’ll fly under the radar, Jay.”

He grimaced. “I don’t know. This could be dangerous.”

“I know. I know.” Cat whirled away from him and paced the room.
“But it would work. I’m sure of it. Marian strikes me as the kind of woman who
doesn’t quit. As for George?” She turned. “He’ll do anything for either of us. I
know this is dangerous, Jay, but it’s for Sarah.”

“And if anything happens? It goes wrong?”

“It won’t. We can’t think that way. If I thought that way, I
wouldn’t do my job and I wouldn’t expect my team to risk their lives every day.
No one will take any notice of them. This is not the best option, but damn it,
it’s the only one we have to gain us more time. If Marian and George are looking
for the money it frees us up to find out who Sarah was seeing and what hold he
had over her to make her get involved in something so dangerous.”