Finding Hope in Texas (3 page)

“Sure, she does.”

“No, I don't,” I finally said out loud, much
to Jody's surprise.

The teacher smiled at the new face. “Jody,
stop bothering the new girl. Sounds like she can speak for herself.
If only the rest of your little crew would do the same.” A few
snickers went up from the back of the class as Jody huffed for a
moment. But soon I felt the classroom's occupants turn their
attention on me. “Alright, who are you and where are you from?”

“Um, I'm Hope from New York,” I said
reluctantly, hoping I wouldn't have to repeat the same task in
every class that day.

“So...you are one of those liberal Yankees,
right?” Mr. Peet asked, a grin on his face.

“Um, yeah,” I smiled never having been called
a Yankee before.

“Well, how the heck did you find North
Texas?”

I sighed and for a moment I felt like
spilling my whole sad story upon the unsuspecting crowd of people
that didn't know me from Eve. I would be the girl that this teacher
caused to have a mental breakdown in the first three minutes of
class. Maybe if they heard me tell about the horrible accident that
killed my family they might care who I was. Maybe if I just let all
my emotions that had built up in me since the move down here out in
one big fit of painful sorrow, someone would finally help me find a
place of normalcy in my life again.

“I don't know.”
Really, that’s all I could
muster?

“Well, whatever it is, we’re glad to have you
here,” the teacher smiled once again. Quickly, he flipped through
his book and started to teach the class. “Alright people, the last
time we were here we were focusing on those depressed people in the
Great Depression.”

Classes went by quickly, as if the day was in
a rush to be over. English, then Algebra II, a home-making course,
and then speech were all before lunch. Bar-be-que chicken was the
special on the menu that day.

I accepted my tray from a hair-netted lady
who probably wanted to be there as much as I did. To me, the meal
looked fattening.
How in the heck do people eat this stuff and
not have a coronary?
Jody pulled me along after we got our
trays, guiding me in the direction of the corner table where her
friends sat chatting.

“Girls, you probably have heard her name, but
this is Hope. Hope, her name is Hope. She's from New York
City.”

“Hey,” I said after being introduced three
times.

“Hey,” a few of the girls said back as we
took some seats in the middle. Chatter started up amongst the group
as they caught up on the gossip from the Christmas break. I quickly
found my place as the fly on the wall.

“So Jody,” another girl looked at her with a
grin on her face, “did you have a good weekend with Brad?” The girl
seemed to be suggesting something as I looked at Jody, whose cheeks
partially flushed.

“I did, Little Miss Nosy,” Jody sneered with
a few giggles from the table.

“Oh, I bet you did. Going on a camping trip
with him and his family in the dead of winter. Did y'all even get
out of the lodge?”

“Of course...but only to wipe the steam off
the windows.” The table laughed about the juicy gossip. I could
tell that Jody was enjoying all of the attention. The gaggle of
girls continued their questions about what seemed to be a wild
weekend between Jody and some boy. All the while, I busied myself
sliding back the greasy chicken skin from its thickness. Digging my
fork into the white meat, I took a bite.
Mmmm
,
not
bad
.

“And what about you, Hope? Any hot New York
boys you can tell us about?”

“Um,” I muttered, finally choking down the
chicken, “a few, I guess.”

“You guess?” another girl replied, “I know
there have to be some super-hot babes up there living in the Big
Apple. I bet there are so many famous people just walking around.
Have you ever met any of them?”

“Have you been to a show, like on Broadway or
Saturday Night Live
?”

“That is so cool you are from New York. We
all
so
need to go up there.”

I smiled at all the questions, but I couldn't
help noticing that Jody had gotten quiet, her thunder gone. Was she
angry with me? She didn’t seem her bubbly self at the moment. Had I
said or done something wrong? Just as I was about to ask, a group
of boys walked by with their trays, all of them looking over at our
table.

“Hey,” one of the boys said, catching the ear
of Jody, who immediately turned around and smiled.

“Hey, Brad.”

“I had a good time this weekend. How about
you?”

“Yeah, it was fun,” Jody gleamed.

“Who's your little friend?”

“Oh, this is Hope.”
One name,
finally.

“Cool. Well, maybe I'll see you after school
then...”

“Yeah, okay, cool...”

As Brad walked away, Jody's gaze followed
him. I couldn't help but think the entire conversation was that of
so many teenagers, north or south–short without any substance. Jane
Austin would be kicking herself if she were sitting in my spot. I
even imagined just for a second that the weekend Jody and Brad
spend together had a lot of
heys
and
cools
thrown
around. If a guy back home had talked to me like that, I would have
probably laughed in his face. I was quickly brought back to reality
as the girls' giggling soon developed once again. I stuck to my
chicken and black-eyed peas, which were supposedly lucky in the
South, weren’t they?

After lunch there were three more classes.
Music was first, which was something I finally found myself not
being bored at. Well, history wasn't bad. Mr. Peet tried to make it
fun, even though he was dealing with a lot of half-awake students
who didn't seem to know the Dust Bowl from the Super Bowl. But he
had an air about him that was likable at least. Still, music was my
passion. It had always been a voice for me, an outlet, a way to
find the right set of notes to tell a story that I wouldn't dare
speak. I had learned the violin at a young age, and although I was
a little rusty since the move, I played well enough to impress the
teacher on the first day. Once again, I saw that Jody did not look
too happy as she sat across the room with her flute.

Music was followed by computer technology,
which seemed pretty easy. I had used the computer for research at
home, and found out quickly I would have no trouble keeping up with
the students who only seemed to care about their Facebook statuses.
After leaving class, I hurried down the hallway towards my locker,
forgetting that Jody was supposed to be my guide for the day.
Rounding a corner, I ran face first into a student riding a
skateboard. One of those grunge kids who must not have gotten the
notice that Kurt Cobain was long dead. My notebook was tossed into
the air, papers flying in every direction. The student, a
longhaired boy with baggy trousers, just kept on going, not even
looking back to check on me. Others walked past as well, not
stopping to help.
Thank you, Texans.
I sighed. Dropping to
my knees, I slowly gathered the scattered papers. Finally getting
them into a pile, I stuffed them quickly into the notebook. They
could be organized later. But before I knew what was happening, I
felt a strong arm wrap underneath mine and carefully lift me to my
feet. Looking up, I stared into the brown eyes of a very handsome
young man.

“You know, you shouldn't kneel down in the
hall like that. You might get run over by one of these jerks on a
skateboard.”

“Um, yeah,” I couldn't help but smile, “I...I
dropped my notebook.”
Jeez, he's cute.

“Well, looks like you gathered it all up
there. Say, you’re Jody's new little friend, aren't you?”

“Oh, yes.”
And just who are you?

“Yeah, saw you at lunch, but I don't think
you saw me. I'm Brad.”
That’s Brad? No wonder Jody had a good
camping trip.
He stuck out his hand to shake. My mouth dropped
as I extended my hand politely.

“I'm Hope.”

“Well, Hope, I
hope
you watch these
corners, or I’ll have to use these guns to pick you up again.” Brad
gave a small flex of his left arm and a quick wink before he flung
out a smile in my direction. “You sure you’re okay?” His hand
reached up and touched my elbow and I couldn't help but smile
again.

“Yes, I’m fine, thank you.”

“Cool. Well, be careful, Hope. You never know
who you might run into.” With another wink I watched him rejoin the
traffic of the hallway.

Jeez, did I just sigh?
Losing him in
the crowd, I turned the corner, but before I was able to take five
steps, I noticed Jody standing just around the corner at my
locker.

“Hey,” I said.

Jody said nothing, but had a scowl upon her
face. She breathed in deep and in long strands. Quickly, she turned
around and stomped off towards the gymnasium. She didn’t say
anything to me at gym, either. I figured it was because who needs
directions at gym? You run, you jump, you do it all again, but this
time faster so the coach thinks you have accomplished something in
just three minutes. Jody didn’t even wait for me to get dressed,
but stormed out of the locker room to her ride in the parking
lot.

It was the next day before I saw her. She had
told me to meet her in the foyer every morning before school, which
I did, but she was nowhere to be found. When I entered Mr. Peet’s
class, I saw her sitting there waiting for the class to begin.

“Hey, I must have missed you in our meeting
area. Or did I have the time wrong?” She didn’t say anything so I
didn’t push the conversation.

Mr. Peet strolled in right after the bell and
started ranting about credit. He even took his credit card out of
his billfold and whipped it across the room like a Frisbee. I’d
never seen anything like that before.
What’s wrong with this
guy?
He was pretty funny though; still, the students were half
asleep and really didn’t really care. It wasn’t till he mentioned
his $20,000 spending limit that he finally caught the attention of
a few of them. It must be hard being a teacher, I thought,
especially at 7:55 in the morning. Who really cared about the
mistake of some other generation at that time of day?

When the class was over, Jody didn’t wait on
me, didn’t grab me by the arm and cascade me to the next class. She
didn’t even try to make a big deal about how she was going to help
me or what I should expect from Jimmy Carter High School on my
second day. It was like I didn’t even exist. Had I done something
wrong? It was lunch by the time I had gathered up the nerve to ask.
She was standing next to me getting what looked like lasagna dumped
on her tray.

“Jody?”

“What?” she snapped.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”
Yeah, right!

“Really?” I questioned as the same goo
splashed against my tray. “You just don’t seem like you were
yesterday.”

She turned on me quickly. “Well, that was
before some prissy New Yorker tried to come down here to
my
school and take
my
friends, show me up in class, and steal
my
boyfriend!”

I stood there shocked. She really thought I
was trying to do all that stuff? “I...I did what?” was all I could
muster, astonished by the accusation.

“Oh, don’t try it. I saw you all flirting
with Brad in the hallway. You knew we spent the weekend together,
but then you tried to do something like that on your first
day?”

“I wasn’t flirting. He just helped me up,” I
protested.

“Look, I said I would help you because I’m in
Secundas
and that’s what we do, but now I say, screw you! I
don’t care why you are here or if you need help or not. All you’d
better know is that if you talk to Brad again,
you
will
pay!” She turned and flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder,
walking to her table full of girls as I stood there in the middle
of the lunchroom surrounded by a bunch of strangers.

Chapter
Two

For a moment, I thought I would go apologize,
though for what, I really wasn’t sure. I didn’t know I had been
doing any of these things, but maybe it seemed like it to her. I
wasn’t trying to show up anyone in class, but instead wanted to
hide away from everyone, especially the teacher. I wasn’t trying to
steal her friends, either, but was just answering the questions
they asked me. And I really had no intention of stealing anyone’s
boyfriend either, no matter how cute Brad actually was.

No!
I’m not apologizing for
anything I didn’t do
. If she thought I was doing all these
things on my first day, then how bad did I really want to try and
make our friendship,
more like acquaintances
, work? I wasn’t
going to bow down to the blonde cheerleader who needed to take her
Ritalin.
Where is your dignity, Hope?

Actually, where is your seat going to be,
Hope?
I gazed across the lunchroom getting a quick assessment
of the situation. The cliques had grouped themselves together:
boy’s athletics over in the corner broken down by sport, the
skateboard grunge group over there, the flashy kids with their
parents’ money over in their own private corner, and of course
Secundas
/cheerleaders over here, led by their bi-polar drama
queen, Jody. Then there was a breakdown by groups of other groups:
from your Future Farmers to your chess club to the debate team and
finally, oh there they were, the band/orchestra members. The rest
of the school was an intermingling of dejected, but they all had
something I didn’t. They were not the new weird kid.
I just have
to walk, one foot in front of the other. I’ll find a spot. Go now,
one foot, just one stupid foot. Head to the band table, they may
take you in. Oh, Jeez!