Finding Hope (3 page)

Mrs. Cleary leaned in and embraced Thomas while saying, “You go have a good time. I’m always here if you need anything.”

“You have a great day, and I look forward to seeing you at the social. Tomorrow night. You’ll be there right?” Thomas asked.

“Of course I’ll be there, wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Mrs. Cleary said as she waved her gentle and aging hand. Thomas walked away.

Thomas graciously took the bottle of wine and slid it into the oversized inside pocket of his dusty and fading hunting jacket. With the vegetables and fish slung over his shoulder, Thomas began to walk back to the center of town. As he walked, he could feel the warm summer air on his face. The morning sun slid into the shadows among the abandoned stores. The few remaining shops were alive with activity and full of familiar faces nodding at Thomas as they passed by. Thomas thought to himself how amazing it was that just four years ago this quaint town was packed with tourists and people making it home. Turning the corner of 5th and Vine, Thomas remembered the night in April a couple years back when the cruel men came and gutted his lifelong home. Now the telephone poles stood isolated, like maypoles without the joy of the May Day Festival.

They came for copper, cutting the wire from the telephone poles and spooling it up for future use. Although these men wore milita
ry uniforms, they were anything but patriotic. They took supplies, food, and fuel as they moved through town like a virus. There were even stories of rape and violence as some people from town were never seen again. Although the resilient town was able to repair their lives, their structure remained forever fractured.

“Mommy,"
cried the weak voice. “I need a drink of water.”

Hope walked into the musty room with a glass of cloudy water saying, “How you feeling sweetie? It’s nice to see you moving around a bit.”

Julian was looking thin and frail, a paler version of his former self. Julian was a wonderful child. He was a true product of Hope’s amazing parenting. She spent so much time teaching him about life, strength, and the virtues of being human. It was a long standing joke among those who knew them that Hope parented as if she had something to prove. Hope once sat quietly and watched Julian ignore his friends on the playground to help the Cleary’s boy who had been paralyzed from the waist down since birth. Despite the teasing and unkind words of children, Julian spent his time patiently helping the boy. This warmed Hope’s soul and reminded her of the strength her father once had.

“We still need to get
food in you. Are you hungry?” Hope asked gently, caressing Julian’s cheek.

“No, just thirsty,” Julian said pulling the blanket up below his chin. “Where’s Daddy?”

“He went to get more food. He’ll be back in a couple hours. Get some sleep now. I need to get some work done, but I’ll be just in here if you need anything,” Hope said quietly. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Julian whispered as he fell back asleep.

Hope walked back into the room where her piles of torn and worn out garments were waiting for her. She sat down and began. Carefully stitching perfect rows of thread, she expertly conducted her craft. Like an artist, she’d perfectly backstitched her seams and then tacked them for reinforcement. Her workmanship was well known in her little community, and people from all around would bring her items to repair. Her fingers had become so nimble and could untangle any knot. Years of experience and deep sense of patience delivered the highest level of quality in her work. She’d get lost in her thoughts while impeccably mending anything in front of her. Although she enjoyed the speed and simplicity of sewing machines, she truly loved to hand stitch because she could maintain the purest accuracy. Aside from guitar and the music of her father, there was nothing Hope enjoyed more than sewing and repairing the tattered fabric.

Thomas arrived home just before three pm. A wonderful surprise was waiting for him right outside the hardware store.

“Tommy boy, you son of a bitch! How ya doing,” shouted a deep a friendly voice. “Get over here!”

Thomas looked up and saw his lifelong friend Gabe Winter. “Gabe, I can’t believe they still let people like you into town,” Thomas said embracing his old friend in a firm, warm hug.

“You boys gonna just stand there and ignore me like I’m some sort of leper,” Faith, Gabe’s beautiful wife, said in a sarcastic but loving tone.

“Faith, I could never ignore you. I’ve been waiting for Gabe to die off so we could slip away for years now,” Thomas said as he winked and put his arm around her thin yet muscular shoulders. “Hope is going to be so happy to see you two. Are you here for the social?”

“No, we’re here just to see you and enjoy your sparkling personality,” Gabe said sarcastically while messing up Thomas’s greasy hair. “It’s so great to see you and good to be back,” Gabe said planting a forceful, wet kiss in the middle of Thomas’s dusty forehead.

Gabe and Thomas had been friends since they
could remember. Growing up next door to one another, their stories number in the thousands. They shared everything, including all of their life experiences. They played baseball together when they were just children. They went to the same schools, shared the same friends, and even shared each other's families. Even when Gabe met Faith, Thomas was a fixture in their lives. Several years ago they moved to a neighboring town forty-five miles away to work his father’s old farm.

“It’s been s
o long since we’ve seen you two. Hope is going to be tickled,” Thomas said with an uncontrollable smile. “What’s it been, a year now?”

“I think it’s been longer than a year, but who really knows anymore?” Gabe said dusting off his jacket.

“So how’d you get to town and where are you staying?” Thomas asked trying to catch his breath.

“We caught a ride on the Anderson’s wagon
, and we’re hoping to stay with you guys,” Faith said seductively fluttering her big beautiful brown eyes.

“Of course you can stay with us Faith, but what a
re we gonna to do with this guy?” Thomas said in a horrible French accent while pointing to Gabe. “Come on upstairs. Hope is going to just explode when she sees you guys.”

The front door to the tiny apartment crashed open. Struggling to contain his excitement Thomas said, “Hope, you will never believe what I found outside.”

Hope, full of purpose and deep in focus, looked up from her pile of work. “No waaayyyyy!” Hope screamed as she jumped to her feet. “I can’t believe it!”

“They’re here for the social
, and they’re hoping to stay with us,” Thomas said with his chest pushed out, arms around both visitors, full of pride from what he had found.

“Faith, you’re looking so good! Your hair is so cute. I love it!” Hope giggled as she grabbed Faith by the hands. “You look so healthy and amazing. Time has been
sooo good to you. And Gabe, get over here and give me a hug. It’s been too long. We’ve missed you both more than you know.”

“Look what else I have,” Thomas said to Hope with a voice cloaked in mystery.

“Not only did I get fresh vegetables, but Mrs. Cleary totally hooked me up. Two fresh fish and,” Thomas paused for emphasis as he reached deep into his inside pocket. “Nectar of the gods,” he exclaimed as he slid the bottle out from his jacket. Upon seeing the bottle emerge from the canvas jacket, Hope, Gabe, and Faith gasped at their good fortune.

Collecting the garments she had just repaired, Hope skipped to the doorway like a young schoolgirl. “I’ll be right back. I just want to drop these off with Helen before we settle in for dinner. I promised to have them done this
afternoon, and you know what they say, 'work before pleasure'”, Hope shouted as she bounced out the door.

As Hope turned the corner
, out from behind the counter Missy jumped with fright. “What the heck Hope! You scared the pee out of me!” Missy complained clutching her chest. Missy was a student who used to go to the community college in Clearview. She’d been working with Helen and Cal since the time before the brown outs when the store was always busy. Missy had become like family to Helen and Cal. They depended on her, and she had never let them down.

“I’m sorry Missy
. Whach ya so freaked out about? It’s just me,” Hope asked exaggerating her disbelief with wide crazy eyes. “Can you give these to Helen for me? I have one more blouse that I haven’t gotten to yet, but I’ll finish it first thing in the morning. I hope that’s OK,” Hope said feeling a bit embarrassed about not finishing all the items.

Missy smiled and said, “I’m sure it’s fine.
Helen saw Tommy and his friends race upstairs earlier. She understands.”

“Are we still on for tomorrow night? Julian is feeling about the same, but he’s not contagious or anything. We could really use a night out,” Hope said anticipating Missy reply.

“Of course we’re on. I wouldn’t want to stand in the way of a famous rock star,” Missy said poking fun at Hope. “All joking aside, I wish I could be there to hear you play. Your fingers are amazing on the strings of that guitar.”

“Thanks, Missy. That means a lot to me. We’re leaving at six-thirty and should be home around elev
en. Sound good?” Hope confirmed gently nodding her head.

“I’ll be there n
o matter what. No need to worry. I’ll take great care of Julian. Everything will be fine,” Missy said encouragingly.

The oil spat and spattered as the fresh fish and vegetables cooked on the propane stove. Thomas tenderly flipped the homemade pan bread as the smell of baking swirled through the small apartment.

“That smells wonderful. I’m so hungry,” Hope said picking at the bread.

“Wait till we eat, girl. Go get that wine open
so it can breathe,” Thomas said patting Hope’s butt.

“Thanks so much for letting us stay here. Tomorrow night is going to be a blast,” Faith said as she pulled out a chair at the table and sat next to Gabe.

“So how have things been in Impel? Our town is still a mess,” Gabe said, stealing a yellow bell pepper off the serving plate.

“It’s tough out there,” said Thomas. “Work is hard to come by and life just
ain’t getting any easier. Thank God Hope can use a needle and thread. She’s been in high demand now people can’t afford to buy new things anymore,” Thomas admitted as he neatly arranged the feast on the table.

“How’s little Julian?” Faith inquired with a concerned look on her face. “Thomas told us he’s not feeling well.”

“Yeah, he’s been fighting the fevers. With so many people getting sick, it was just a matter of time until he had it too. He had a pretty high fever yesterday, but with every day that passes, he’s getting a little stronger,” Hope said with conviction.

“I’ve been hearing
good things about New Providence, Missouri. It’s a small town two hundred miles east of here. Word has it that they have plenty of food, fuel, and even have the electricity up and running,” Gabe explained, putting his arm around Faith.

“With a hospital, police station and even water treatment. From what I hear it’s almost a normal life,” Faith added as she snuggled into Gabe’s strong body.

“It would be nice to get back to normal, but I’m not sure if I even remember what normal looks like anymore,” Hope added. “Can’t even get a doctor here when ya need one.”

Faith got up from the table and poured the
ruby-red wine into four glasses admiring the color and the heady scent. “Wine. Such a basic thing a couple years ago, but now so exotic,” she said as she gave each diner a glass.

“To old friends and new possibilities,” Gabe said as he lifted his glass to toast. The glasses clinked together as each of the dear friends toasted the days ahead.

Chapter 3

Of Love and Loss

Laughter echoed along the hollow streets of Impel as the last light of the day dove beneath the horizon. Like the North Star, the brightly lit hall cut through the blackness guiding the people of town to the joyous event. Shadows danced across the walls of the giant room as a symphony of voices joined in rhythm and meaning. Excitement, elation, and unbridled enthusiasm soaked the crowd with an energy they could both taste and feel.

Music swirled while people twirled, able to feast on moments of happiness and the ability to forget their day to day struggles. A giant table off to the side of the great hall was saturated with enough food to feed a small nation. Pickled vegetables, fresh bread and fish, assorted cheese, bean casseroles, cob corn, shelled nuts, and fruit pies of every configuration were stretched across the table like an indoor rainbow. At the center of the overflowing table sat
a sight not seen for many years ― a full roasted pig. Children zigzagged among the growing crowd as the band banged their instruments with precision and skill. The tempo of the carnival like music was impossible to resist. Every shoe in the hall bounced to its infectious beat.

Walking across the crowded floor, Hope smiled and nodded at the many people she recognized.

“This is amazing!” Thomas shouted, trying to be heard over the noise of the room. “I can’t believe how many people are here. What do ya think Gabe, simply amazing, huh?”

Faith held on tight to Gabe’s hand as they weaved through the crowd. “We’re
gonna go get something to eat,” Gabe said to Thomas pulling Faith closely behind him. “We’ll catch up with you guys in a minute. Find a place to sit… if you can,” Faith yelled pushing her tender voice to its limit.

As Faith and Gabe plowed through the crowd like squirrels through the tall grass, Thomas and Hope walked to the stage. Looking for a place to sit, they spotted a small two top next to the wall.

“Follow me,” Hope urged as she dashed for the one remaining table. Hope sat down while Thomas leaned against the wall clearly leaving the other chair for Faith.

“How cool is this! Everyone’s here,” Thomas said as he surveyed the hall.

Several minutes later Faith and Gabe returned with their plates stacked high with hot steamy food.

“Hold our spot. Tommy, let’s get some food,” Hope said pulling his sleeve.

“Not just yet. It’s been too long since we’ve danced. If you’d do me the honors,” Thomas said as he led Hope to the dance floor.

Colors splashed on their faces as they laughed and shook. The steaminess of the room gathered like fine pools along Hope’s perfectly formed neck and shoulders. Her wavy red hair caught the light from the torches that had been strategically placed to light up the hall. Hues of crimson and purple sparkled in her hair as it loosely fell around her face and back. She was beautiful in the evening air. The tor
ches burned in the spring night and so did Thomas’ love for Hope.

“It’s wonderful to be
here with you free from all our worries,” Hope said as they left the dance floor. “Sometimes, it’s nice to forget.”

Hope sat down as Thomas went t
o gather up the delicious food. “Hope Brennan, is that you?” the voice with no face beckoned. Moments later Mr. Saunders emerged from behind a crowd of teenagers. “It is you! What a sight for sore eyes. How are you dear?” Mr. Saunders asked as he stepped close to the small table.

“Hello
John, it’s so nice to see you. Isn’t this amazing?” Hope said with perspiration matting down her bangs. “Do you know Gabe and Faith?”

Mr. Saunders leaned over extending his hand. “Of course I do. It’s nice to see you both on this wonderful evening,” Mr. Saunders continued. Mr. Saunders was one of the first people Hope had met when she came to town over ten years ago when Hope was
twenty-seven years old. He was the only pastor in the small town of Impel leading the Lutheran church in the center of town. He was always so kind to her.

As Hope became friends with Mr. Saunders she also befriended his wife, Gladys. They treated her as family and helpe
d her acclimate into town eventually introducing her to Thomas.

“Where’s Thomas?” the older man asked.

“He went to get our food, but should be back in a second. I know he’ll want to say hi if you can wait a moment,” Hope replied putting her hand on his blotchy and wrinkled arm.

“I wish I could, but Gla
dys says she needs ice tea.  I better get moving before she gets in a huff,” Mr. Saunders explained as he smiled kindly. “It was so nice to see you, and I’ll make sure to find Thomas a bit later. By the way, I sure hope your playin' tonight. Are we that lucky?”

Hope sat up straight and scrunched her nose replying to her old friend, “Playing what?” They all laughed for a moment before Mr. Saunders disappeared back into the sea of people.

As the band played on, joyous tones enveloped the crowd like waves of sugary air from a candy factory. Faces beamed with great expectations as the community tried its best to heal.

“Look who I
found,” Thomas announced with the booming voice of a circus ring master.

Hope jumped to her feet seeing her old friend, and said, “Cal, oh my god! How are you?” The expressions on everyone’s face confirmed the importance of the situation
as his wife, Helen, stood gently holding his weak, dry hands.

“Hope, you’re looking lovely tonight. I’m doing much better although I’m still a little shaky,” Cal answered in a subdued tone. “It’s great to see all you guys having so much fun tonight. What a beautiful spring evening for this too. We’re truly lucky.” Cal looked frail and
boney compared to the others in the hall. He had lost some hair due to the fevers making his silver curls quite thin. Despite the fact that his face was gaunt and hollow, his eyes shone with optimism and hope.

“Are you
stayin’ the entire evening?” Hope asked shyly. “I’ll be playing later tonight.”

Cal
smiled and leaned forward as he tenderly put his bony hand on the side of Hope’s head and said, “Of course I am.”

As the band’s glorious tapestry faded to a quiet march, the town’s Mayor, Mr.
DeGringolade, began to talk. He spoke about the night’s festivities, those who contributed, and the future of Impel.

As the portly Mayor did his best to remain important, Gabe turned to Thomas and Hope. “I think Faith and I might
head to New Providence in a couple weeks. Things are getting scary at home. Last month an entire family was butchered during a home invasion in the middle of the day,” Gabe explained as he looked at his feet. Clearly Gabe felt like a failure as he and Faith had decided to run away and abandoned his father’s farm.

Faith, feeling Gabe’s embarrassment, jumped in adding, “It’s just a chance to start over and not just survive, but thrive.”

Thomas put his hand on Gabe’s shoulder and said, “I completely understand. There’s no reason to feel bad though. We’ll make it a point to visit every chance we can.” They both looked at each other, completely aware the two hundred mile journey to New Providence was a one way trip. “Let’s talk more later. Tonight’s a night for celebration!” Thomas declared putting his arm around his lifelong friend as if they were brothers.

People ate, sang, and danced as the night rolled along like a brightly colored
carnival ride. The stream of performers rolled across the stage as the satisfied crowd savored each performance. Pure exuberance was painted on the faces of the onlookers as their friends and family showcased their personal brand of entertainment. Poetry, juggling, skits, and music made up the eclectic mix of talent. Throughout the night the audience was completely entertained.

The time had come and Hope was being called to the stage. “Hello everyone,” Hope said in her usual quite voice. “The song I’m singing tonight is written by a guy named John
Darnielle. It’s called 'John 4:16'.” Hope began to strum the guitar as her nimble fingers danced across the fret board, picking each note with precision. The sound reverberated around inside the instrument, producing pure and honest tones. She began to sing. Hope closed her eyes and escaped to private places, as the flickering of torch light set the mood. Hope’s tender voice took on strength and power as she continued.

    
Hope pulled the guitar closer to her body as the chords bled out their melancholy progression. She actually felt her father’s presence as she played his old guitar with perfection. While silence swept across the mass of people, Hope strummed her final progression. Looking up at the multitude, she concluded the song repeating the final chorus acappella. The breathless groups of spectators were left speechless as moments slipped by in awe. Acting as one, the crowd erupted into applause at what they just witnessed. People rose to their feet, with their faces revealing the emotional impact of Hope’s performance.

             
The dazzling starlight from the galaxy’s furthest reaches lit the tree tops ablaze as blackness saturated the streets and buildings. All of creation, revealed in plain view, remained unnoticed as the town of Impel scurried home after their joyous event.

    
“That was amazing, Hope. It makes me so proud to see you play. I actually cried when you were singing,” Thomas said as he walked in darkness with his favorite girl. “You blew everyone away, including me. It’s like you were trying to tell us something that we just couldn’t understand. It felt like you were patiently waiting for us to realize the urgency of your message. I don’t know how you do it.”

    
Hope modestly walked in silence. “Yeah, I felt it too. I heard my voice tremble when I was singing those lines. I’m just glad I didn’t fall apart,” Hoped added breaking the silence.

     
“Faith and Gabe asked to hear a couple more songs tomorrow if that’s OK. They’d forgotten how moving your voice can be. They’re going to come over tomorrow afternoon once they’re done helping Faith’s brother with his roof. They’ll probably be staying with us a couple more days if that’s OK,” Thomas asked knowing Hope wouldn’t mind.

    
Hope grabbed Thomas’s hand and said, “They can stay as long as they need. It’s wonderful having them around.”

As they reached th
eir street, they could hear a commotion in the silent night air. Through the blackness they noticed a few lanterns lighting up the windows of their small apartment.

“I hope Missy isn’t still up with Julian. It’s almost eleven-thirty,” Hope said hiding her concern.

As they walked closer to the entrance of the hardware store, an urgent voice hung on the night breeze. “Julian! Look at me! It’s gonna be fine, just hold on. It will pass,” Missy pleaded.

Fear exploded in the botto
m of Hope’s chest and escalated consuming every inch of her small body. Thomas had also reacted to Missy’s pleas with a call to action in the true spirit of fatherhood. Hope and Thomas dashed through the night to the front door of the building. With the agility of finely tuned athletes, both parents were at their son’s bedside moments later. As they looked upon their son, they witnessed a violent and electric display of movement.

Missy jumped to her feet saying, “HE’S HAVING A SEIZURE!”

Hope fell on her young boy and embraced him with a tender firmness to subdue the shaking. “He’s on fire,” Hope screamed as Thomas struggled to understand the situation.

 
“What’s happening Missy?” Thomas howled like a wild animal in a complete panic.

“He was fine all night accept for his high fever. He wanted to sleep, but I checked on him every twenty minutes,” Missy yelled. “…about thirty minutes ago I heard him fall out of bed. When I came in here, he was shaking and couldn’t talk.”

Hope cried out, “HE’S BLEEDING!”

Thomas ran to the side of the bed and forcefully turned Julian’s small head. “He’s biting his tongue,” Thomas shouted as he put his finger between the hungry teeth to stop Julian from biting through his small tongue.

“He’s had three seizures before you got here. I’m so sorry,” Missy bellowed, sobbing uncontrollably. “I was alone and didn’t know what to do!”

Thomas quickly removed the boy’s shirt and pants to try to cool his scalding body. The violence of the motion began to subside as Hope cradled her naked child in her arms.

“WE NEED TO COOL HIM NOW!” Hope commanded. “GO GET HELP! TOM, FIND SOMEBODY!”

Thomas ran to
the door and went to find help with one singular thought racing through his mind, help from whom? Thomas ran down the stairs to get Helen. She’d know what to do he thought to himself. She had just helped Cal fight and win his battle against the fever. He pounded on the door, but nobody answered. He kicked in the door shouting out Helen’s name, but nobody was home. Knowing he had to find help, Thomas ran out of the hardware store and into the night to find someone for his only son.

Hope looked deep into her baby’s eyes
fixed upon her gaze. “It’s OK baby. Daddy went to get help,” Hope said terrified by Julian’s pale face and bloodshot eyes. She felt Julian’s small muscles tense with rage as the seizures began again.

“GET TOM,” Hope cried out knowing he was gone. The seizures slapped and kicked with a wildness Hope had never seen before. She kept her eyes fixed on her baby, staring into his eyes that screamed with pain.