Finding Ever After (17 page)

           
“
Argh
!”
I let out a
frustrated groan. “Bas I can’t figure these things out, they’re supposed to be
toddler proof not adult proof!”

           
“That’s because you have to be smarter than a toddler.” He snatched the child
safety locks from my hand.

           
“Ha. Ha. You put them on then.” Of course it didn’t take him but thirty seconds
to get them apart and attached to the cupboards. He grinned smugly and I had
the urge to smack him.

           
“Did you get the outlet caps put on and the toilet lock installed?” I huffed.

           
“Yes I did. Now all you have to do is snap on the corner protectors and we’re
all kid proofed. Think you can manage that? They’re simple enough that even you
should be able to figure it out.”

           
“Shut up.”

           
An hour later the entire house was rigged up for a toddler and we were waiting
expectantly for Lucy to drop Izzy off. She was going to spend the night and
Lucy was expecting me to take her home in the morning, but I had a surprise
planned instead. Over dinner Lucy had talked about how difficult it has been
for her to complete her schooling online because she spends all day chasing
after her rambunctious daughter. I could see the exhaustion on her face and
even though my brother has a great job, they couldn‘t afford to continuously
pay for childcare. I was determined to help make things easier on them, and
selfishly I wanted as much time with my niece as I could get.

           
Having a break from Izzy would give her a chance to study for an upcoming exam
in one of her summer courses. I wouldn’t be taking Izzy home in the morning
though,
I’d called and made an appointment at one of the
hotel spas for Lucy tomorrow so she could have some pampering. I also set up
dinner reservations at a nice restaurant so they could have a date night,
something I doubted they had been able to do in quite a while.

           
Everything was taken care of. I already texted Shane to fill him in and he
was
going to take home flowers with a card for her
appointment at the spa. I let him know I would drop Izzy off tomorrow night
once they got home from dinner, on my way to the bar where the guys were playing
their Friday night show.

           
I couldn’t even remember the last time I felt so good, so optimistic. I was
happy to be doing something for my brother, hopeful about the relationship I
was building with him and Lucy and beyond excited to watch Izzy grow up and to
be a part of her life as well.

           
Bas was almost equally as excited as I was for Izzy to spend the night with us.
We definitely went a little overboard on our shopping excursion. My living room
looked like a Toys/ Babies R Us ad, but I was making up for two and half years
off not spoiling her. It was my job to go a little crazy and I couldn’t think
of a better reason to dip into the insurance money I’d hardly touched in the
years it’d been sitting in an account for me.

           
It was definitely worth it to when Izzy came in and saw all of the new things I
had for her. She couldn’t decide what to go for first; the baby doll, the toy
keyboard or the rocking horse that had actually been mine. I made Bas pull it
out of the small attic where the few toys from my childhood, that Mom saved,
were stored. We definitely had enough to keep her busy and entertained.

           
I figured out very quickly why Lucy was so exhausted, Bas and I both did.
Keeping up with a kid wasn’t easy and Izzy had definitely inherited her daddy’s
stubbornness and inclination for mischief. I understood what Lucy meant when
she said she spent all day chasing the girl around.
The was
always on the go and she was fast.

           
“You’re going to be a great mom Jazz.” Bas plopped down on the couch and rested
his head in my lap. We’d finally got Izzy down for a nap after lunch and we
were enjoying the peace and quiet. It had been a fun morning; even so I hoped
she took a long nap.

           
“You’re not doing too bad yourself.” I took the opportunity to bring up the
subject we hadn’t talked about since he attacked me with pillows on Sunday.
“You know to have a child of your very own you’re going to have to make things
right with Lissa. You sort of need her for that.”

           
“
Hmpf
.”
He grunted. “I
thought you agreed to drop this.”

           
“Don’t you
hmpf
at me. I didn’t agree to drop
anything,
you hit me with a pillow. You know I’m right.
Eventually you’re going to have to swallow that pride and at least talk to
her.”

           
“Nope.
If she wants to work this out then she’s going
to have to make the effort and she needs to apologize to you.”

           
“I don’t want or need her apology. As wrong and out of line as she was, I can
see where she’s coming from. She feels threatened and you have to admit that it
did look bad that she found us in bed.”

           
“But nothing happened. No matter how bad it looked she should have listened to
me and trusted me. I’ve told her a million times, Chris has told her, hell even
my dad has explained to her before that the you and I are just friends.”

           
“You’re right, but you’ve been moping around here for six days. You obviously
miss her.”

           
“Yeah, it fucking sucks.”
I could see the pain in his
eyes that he had been burying all week. If he wasn’t willing to do something
about it I was going to have to. I couldn’t let him stay miserable.

           
“So, you never did tell me how you worked up the nerve to ask her out in the
first place.” He hesitated a minute before going into the story.

           
“Not long after you left, Chris started seeing this chick who worked at a
coffee shop. I was with him one time when he wanted to drop by on her lunch
break. Of course he ditched me to go make out with her in the back office.
Lissa was working there as well. We talked for a minute while I waited for
Chris and I found out that she’d broken up with that tool Justin right after
graduation. When Chris came back and we were ready to leave I said goodbye and
almost walked out. At the last minute I turned around and asked her to have
dinner with me that night. She said yes, and after that I went back almost
every day until I convinced her to say yes to
being
my
girlfriend as well.” When he talked about her his whole expression was lighter
and softer than I had seen it all week, and I was even more determined to help
make things right. Bas deserved to be happy and she was the one who made him
that way.

           
After Izzy’s nap we took her to the park just down the road from my house. She
made us go down the slide with her at least fifty times and she giggled so hard
when Bas pushed her in the
kiddie
swing. She would
let out the cutest little squeal when he would pull her all the way back and
then run underneath, releasing her way up high. “Again, do again.” She would
cry out. When Bas’ arms were finally
wore
out, she
looked at me. “You go now Auntie Jaxy.”

           
When it was time to leave she tried to run away from us but it was really more
of a quick waddle. Bas pretended to chase her around the playground and her
laughter sounded the entire time. When he snatched her up we had to promise to
bring her back the next day to keep her agreeable. Bribing her with setting up
the pool and sprinkler also might have had something to do it. She splashed and
ran and giggled until the sun was going down and we had to drag her in the
house for dinner.

           
When it was bedtime she was so excited to find out she would be staying the
night in my old room. We didn’t have any trouble getting her to go to sleep.
She couldn’t wait to climb up and sleep in the princess bed. When she was all
snuggled in the blankets, I grabbed a book off the shelf and sat down on the
edge of the bed beside her. It was my favorite fairytale of all time, and I
began, “Once upon a time, in a very far-off country, there lived a merchant . .
.” By the time I finished the classic tale of
Beauty and
The
Beast
she was sound asleep. I remembered begging my mom to read that one to
me at least once a week until we both knew it almost by heart.

           
Looking down at the peaceful little angel in my bed and thinking about all the
times my mom probably sat here and watched me after I had fallen asleep caused
a swell of emotion to rise up in me. I brushed Izzy’s hair back and pressed a
kiss to her forehead.

           
“Sweet dreams little princess.” I whispered. Bas was leaning against the
doorframe watching me when I got up to turn out the light.

           
“I remember having to listen to that story at least a million times. Every time
I stayed the night I would ask your mom for stories with knights or dragons and
sword fights, but all you wanted to hear about were the princesses.” I
chuckled
thinking about the nights that we would argue about
what story we wanted to hear.

           
“Do you remember her story,
Jaxyn the Beautiful and Sebastian the Brave?
”
I asked as we moved back downstairs. It was his turn to chuckle softly. We sat
on the couch and recalled the tale my mom had made up about the first day Bas
and I became friends, of course instead of a pink bike with a flat tire there
was a noble steed with an injured foot and just to make Bas happy my mom had
included a fierce dragon that Sir Sebastian had to fight in order to rescue
Princess Jaxyn. Bas had been so proud of his fairytale self that when Halloween
came around he insisted that he dress up as a knight and had to be the fair
maiden for him to rescue.

           
After that, every year he planned our costumes right up until our senior year
when we both dressed as hobbits. Wasn’t the most flattering costume on me, but
we had a good time. The year before I had been able to convince him to go as
Dean Winchester and I dressed up as an evil spirit. He would never actually
admit that he was just as addicted to that show as I was.

           
“You know we would make awesome parents together.”
What?

           
“Where did that come from Bas?”

           
“I was just thinking how easy it is with us. You joked that Lissa was the only
one who would put up with my shit, but you’ve always put up with me. We get
along perfectly and we’d never grow apart. We’d have a happy life together.” I
was speechless for a minute. I knew Bas was only saying these things because he
was still missing Lissa so much. He didn’t really want to be with me, I just
needed to remind him of that.

           
“You’re probably right. We would be happy together. Spending the rest of my
life with my best friend doesn’t sound terrible at all. We could have a really
comfortable life together, but you and I both know that’s not what either one
of us really wants. Besides we’d have to have sex to have kids.” He got a
horrified look on his face.

           
“Maybe we could just adopt or you could get artificially inseminated with my
sperm or whatever.”

           
“Okay, stop. I don’t ever want to hear you talk about your sperm again.”

           
“You’re the one who brought up the two of us having sex, that’s so much worse.
I’m
gonna
have nightmares now with that image in my
head.”

           
“That’s exactly the point I was trying to make. We shouldn’t marry someone who
repulses us sexually.”

           
“Hey now, repulse is a strong word. I think I’m offended.” His brow furrowed.
“I’m an incredibly attractive specimen and you would be lucky to be married to
such a stud.”

           
“Yes you are, and yes I would, but come on, we’re not meant for each other.
Neither one of us should have to settle for ‘safe and comfortable.’ I want mad,
passionate honest to God real love. I want to feel a touch that ignites a fire
in every part of me and
be
kissed like there’s no one
else in the whole word. I want to experience crazy, intense make up sessions
after every argument and fight. It should be terrifying, challenging and
extraordinary; the feel it in the depths of your soul kind of love.

           
“
The kind that even after fifty years you look at that
person, with all of their flaws and imperfections and still think they’re
the most beautiful, wonderful person in the whole world and you know without a
doubt that God put them on the earth just for you. You look back on all the
years, some filled with struggles and overcoming obstacles and some with the
happiest most fulfilling moments of your entire life and you’re so thankful
that you took the risk, that you gave your whole heart to someone even though
they could’ve crushed it. That’s not you and me.” He was quiet for a moment but
then sighed.

           
“I hate when you’re right, but you really have to stop reading those romance
novels.”

           
“Never and you’ll thank me after that fifty years when it’s not my beautiful
face you’re waking up next to.” I assured him.