Finding Carson Lee (Oh Captan, My Captain #3) (26 page)

“
He could be brutal and I used to wonder what my mom ever saw in him. He hasn’t been in my life for a long time, so it doesn’t make much of a difference that he’s dead. Before he showed back up, I hoped that because I hadn’t heard from him, it meant he was dead. Mom was way more of a parent to me than he ever was.”

She nods like she understands, and so I continue my story.

“
After I was put into foster care, Mike took me under his wing as much as he could. He was my coach and he made sure that I could keep playing. He knew I had the potential to be the player I am today. The older I got and as I moved up, he kept me sane by making sure I had good equipment and he got me to where I needed to go. It’s no surprise that he ended up becoming my agent.

“
I knew Opal because she worked at the home I was staying at back in Michigan. When I moved here and was looking to start doing some charity work, it turned out she moved down here and was working with Shelby. Once I knew she worked there, I chose that one in particular.”

Pausing, I take a deep breath before continuing. “I ended up turning into who you first met because it was easy and I was actually satisfied with it. Aside from having Mike and Opal, being by myself is how I grew up and what I was comfortable with.” I feel like I’ve said enough for now, but there is one other thing I could do. While reaching into my back pocket for my wallet, I say, “I do have a picture, by the way. I just don’t keep it out.” I pull out the photo of my mom and hand it to her. “That’s the only one I have of my mom and me.”

“
Oh, Carson Lee, you look like your mama.” She smiles.

“
Yeah, and that’s better than looking like my dad,” I retort. “So, um, that’s all I was going to say.”

She hands the photo back to me and I slip it safely back into my wallet. “I don’t think you know how much it means to me that you told me. I know that it’s hard. You know I’m a great listener, but my dad went through something similar. He might be able to give you some advice too, if you need it.”

“
He’s told me some things, actually, and he gave me advice already, but maybe I’ll talk to him again.”

“
He did? Wow, you must have made a good impression on him too. He doesn’t usually tell a lot of people.”

“
It was when we went golfing. He even said something about you too. He told me that you knew I was a good man. Turns out, he may have been right about what he was trying to make me understand.”

“
He’s a smart man,” she agrees.

“
A lot smarter than my dad,” I pause, wondering if I should say this outloud or not before saying it anyway. “Honestly, I’m glad I don’t have to worry about him showing up anymore. Maybe I should be upset a little or care more, but I don’t. I hated him too much. I can finally move forward without looking over my shoulder all the time.”

Kinley responds with exactly what I want to hear. “I can understand that.”

I squeeze her hips before making her stand. “C’mon. Let’s go to bed.” Keeping a hold of her hand, we go to my room and get ready for bed, finally climbing under the soft sheets. Kinley cuddles against me and I hold her even closer. “Goodnight, sweetheart,” I whisper before closing my eyes.

More than anything, my father’s death feels like the door to my past has closed. I have the picture of my mom and that’s all I need from those years ago. It’s about time I start keeping my focus on what’s ahead of me instead of what’s behind me. Between Kinley, Mike, and even Gracie, I’m sure I can do that and be a better person.

Kinley

I sit at the kitchen table, staring at the contract. Who does this Ashton Campbell think he is? These hockey players. I shake my head. If I was still in Utah, I would knock on his door and punch him. I guess he’s not going to work for LSMP.

I tore through as many emails as I could. Trying to make sure that I have everything scheduled that needs to be, making sure hotels are booked and reservations are made. I quickly call Cassie.

“
Hello, how’s my new head photographer?”

Cassie laughs. When my promotion was offered to me, Cassie was also offered a job. She now takes all the photos for my campaigns. It’s more money for her, and she was able to quit her other job.

“
Fine. I just got
all
your emails. Thanks for that, by the way.”

I ignore her snarky comment and dive into work mode. I make sure that she has everything she needs for the next shoot.

“
Kinley, yes, I have everything. Don’t you have a hot hockey player to go play with for a while?”

“
He’s busy. So, I have to play with you.” I laugh.

“
Well, I’m about to play with this guy from the accounting department. I’ll call you later.”

I shake my head at her when she disconnects the call. I turn off my laptop and pour a glass of wine. I curl up and turn on ESPN. Football season is about to begin, and even though I’m
somewhat
a hockey girl now, I still love my football.

The knock on the door pulls me away from the training camps stats, and a smile crosses my face when I look through the peephole.

“
I’m sorry, I don’t believe that I ordered Thai food from a hot hockey player,” I say when I open the door.

“
Well, your boyfriend thought you may be hungry, considering he hasn’t see you a lot lately.” Carson winks.

I giggle letting him come into my apartment. He sets the food on my kitchen counter, while I clean off the table to have a place for us to sit. “I wasn’t expecting you, or I would have cleaned the place up.”

“
I missed you, and I thought I would surprise you.” He kisses my temple, setting the plate down. “Should I have called first?”

I lift one eyebrow at him and slap his shoulder. “No, you don’t have to call to come over. I don’t do that to you. I was simply saying the place is a mess because I’ve been so busy.” I grab a beer from the fridge for Carson and sit down next to him.

“
So, I’m taking it that work is going well.”

“
It’s very hectic right now. Your campaign is really taking off. The build up for fashion week is really insane.”

“
You’re going to be gone that whole week, right?”

I nod, taking a bit of my noodles.

“
Between the season coming up soon and your work schedule, we’re going to have to do more sexting.” He chuckles.

“
It’s always about sex with you, isn’t it?” I shake my head.

“
I haven’t heard you complain one time.”

I don’t say anything and continue to eat. He knows damn well that I’m not going to say a single thing about our sex life. Mainly because it’s really the best I’ve had. His phone begins to alert him, and he looks at the screen funny.

“
Everything okay?”

“
Yes, but no. Darcie sent me an update on Gracie.”

“
What’s wrong? Is she alright?”

“
She’s getting worse. I’ll have to go see her soon.”

“
Do we need to go now? I mean, if she’s asking for you, you have to go.”

“
No, it’s okay. Darcie said she’s sleeping right now. She’s not asking for me.” He chuckles. “Turns out, she’s wanting to hang out with Tommy.”

“
Okay.”

Carson quickly changes the subject to Mike and a new endorsement that’s in the works. I tease him, saying that soon he’ll be more famous than David Beckham.

“
He played soccer. I’m a hockey player.” He shakes his head.

I can’t help but laugh at him. “I know the difference.”

Carson tells me about how he’s ready for the season to start and show everyone how much the team has improved over the summer. The younger players are really stepping up, and Carson thinks the Cup is in the near future. I have learned one thing about Carson in the time we’ve been together, the Cup is very important. Even if it looks like a giant cereal bowl. It’s his number one goal, and I have to admire his determination for it.

We finished up our food and start to clean up. It’s comfortable with Carson in my home. I don’t feel like I
have
to impress him, or I
have
to cater to him. It’s like he wants to be here with me, even though this isn’t a massive mansion with a hockey rink and all that. However, he’s here, and I like it a lot.

“
Aren’t you going to invite me to stay over?”

I tilt my head. “Do you want to? I mean, my bed is nothing like yours.”

“
Are you going to be in the bed?”

“
Well, yes.”

“
Then it’ll be fine.” He winks.

“
When did you become so poetic?”

“
What? I’m always this way.”

I burst into laughing, knowing that he isn’t the biggest romantic in the world. “I hate to tell you this, but I’m really tired.” As much as I want to feel him inside of me, I’d probably fall asleep on him.

“
That’s fine. I’ve had a long day too. Let’s just relax with each other and go to bed.”

“
Deal.”

I change into my pajamas and Carson sleeps in his boxers. When I curl into his side, the only thing I think about is: can I do this every night?

Carson’s and my relationship isn’t the typical Lifetime movie type. He’s an ass, very blunt, and wants what he wants. He also handles his emotions very differently than most. With all that, I still see the kindness in his smile, the care in his eyes, and the love in his heart.

And he’s all mine.

Carson

“
Looks like I was right.”

I glance over at Tyler. “About what?” There’s a pause during drills, so we’re all standing around doing nothing at the moment.

“
You settling down with your big birthday. You are still seeing Kinley, aren’t you?”

“
Yes, and you were not right. You asked a question. You would have been right had you predicted it. Actually, I think you said I would be Hugh Hefner, so you’re way off,” I chuckle. For a moment, his comment about settling down gets to me. Is that what I’m doing with Kinley? Settling down? Not that it really matters either way because I’m happy with my relationship with Kinley and I don’t want that to change.

“
It is weird that you’re a one woman man now,” another guy adds.

Part of me wants to correct him. I’m not a “one woman man.” I’m Kinley’s man or no one’s man. She’s it for me and if we don’t work out, there’s no one else.

“
It’s a nice change though,” Tyler pipes in after him.

Yes, it is. Practice resumes and my mind wanders. I almost thought Kinley was going to send me back home the other night, but she didn’t. My surprise visit probably threw her for a loop. I wanted to see her and see her in her home instead of mine, so there I went. Will there be a day when her home is my home, when it’s one place instead of two? When I won’t have to go to another place to see her because she’s right where belongs? Would Kinley even want that? There’s plenty of time before I’ll find out. We’re still rolling with the tides for now.

When practice is over, a couple of teammates and I make plans to meet up at a bar later. Kinley will be working late, so it’s a good opportunity to hang out with the guys again. On my way back to the house before lunch, I call Kinley.

“
Hello?” she answers sounding a bit frenzied even with just one word.

“
Hey, what are you doing?”