Finding Absolution (3 page)

“Van Duggins.”

“You live around here?”

Van shook his head. “I live in Oahu. I came for the rodeo and stuff with a friend who’s from Cattle Valley.”

“Oahu,” Jon sighed. “I bet it’s pretty there.”

“It is,” Van agreed. His cellphone started to ring. “That’s probably my friends.”

“Oh,” Jon replied. “I’m fine if you need to find them.”

“It’s okay.” Van put the phone to his ear. “Hello.”

“Where’re you at? You’re missing it,” Quade said as soon as Van answered.

“I’m over at the hay barn.” Van decided not to mention Jon’s run-in with Guy. He’d probably fill Quade and Kai in on what had kept him, but not in front of Jon.

“What’s going on?” Quade asked.

“Just talking to a new friend. I’ll be over in a few.” Van grinned at Jon and rolled his eyes.

“Bring your new friend along if that’s what it takes, but you’re missing some damn fine riding,” Quade said.

“I’ll ask.” Van ended the call without the usual pleasantries. “Do you feel like watching some of the rodeo?”

Jon stood and retrieved a cowboy hat that had obviously been knocked behind one of the bales in his scuffle with Guy. “I think I’ve had enough for one night.” He settled the hat on his head. “Please do me a favour and don’t tell anyone about the underwear.”

“Why would I do that?” Van asked.

Jon shrugged. “Cattle Valley’s a small town.”

“You live there?” Van hoped he’d see Jon around in the next day or two.

“No. I take care of my grandpa’s farm. It’s about forty-five minutes away, but there aren’t many places around here to find other men like me,” Jon explained.

“You mean gay or with the underwear thing?”

Jon chuckled. “Gay. I seriously doubt if there are many men around here who like the feel of silk underwear.” He bit his lip. “I took a big risk even wearing them tonight, but I’d hoped…” His voice drifted off as he shook his head. “You must think I’m some kind of freak.”

“Not at all.” Van fumbled for what to say. “They’re nice, actually.”

Jon’s face flushed. “Do you really think so?”

“I do,” Van confessed.

Jon pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and handed Van a business card. “Just in case you get bored while you’re here. If my grandpa answers tell him you need to talk to me about some hay.”

Van looked at the card. “You have a produce stand?”

Jon nodded. “But I’m not always there. I have a lady who runs it for me when I’m out in the fields.” He went on to tell Van about quitting his job and returning to the farm when his grandfather had become ill. It was obvious to Van that Jon would rather be using his graphic design skills, but he never once said he regretted his decision.

Van tucked the card into his pocket. “What about Guy? You want me to go with you to file a report on him?”

“No. I don’t think he’d have done it if he hadn’t been drunk. From what I hear he’s usually a good man. The last thing I want is to cause him trouble.”

“You’re a nicer person than I am, that’s for sure.” Van stood and held out his hand. Even though he’d only known Jon a short time, he had respect for the man. “If you change your mind and need a witness I’ll be staying at the lodge.”

“Thanks.” Jon smiled. “I wish we’d met under different circumstances.”

“The important thing is that we met.” Van leaned over and kissed Jon’s bruised cheek. “Come on, I’ll walk you to your car.”

Chapter Two

Van sat in the Grizzly Bar, mulling over the evening’s activities. He’d tried to sleep, but images of Jon in nothing but that red underwear had kept him awake. After an hour of tossing and turning, he’d tried jerking off, but that had only made matters worse. Eventually, he’d decided to get dressed and visit the lodge’s bar, bypassing the loud group of Quade and his friends to sit beside the large stone fireplace. He stared into the fire and sipped a glass of ginger ale to ease his stomach. It wasn’t the sausages he’d consumed earlier that had his insides in knots, it was Jon.

“Jon,” Van whispered to himself. With his big hazel eyes and twin dimples, Jon had trusted the wrong person and it had almost ended tragically.

According to Rio and Shep, Guy was on the verge of losing everything he’d worked so hard for. They weren’t sure whether the drinking was the cause or the outcome, but evidently the lodge was losing money fast, and Guy’s constant drunken state wasn’t helping.

“I thought you’d gone to bed,” Kai said, settling himself in the high-backedleather chair opposite Van.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Van replied. “I keep thinking about what could’ve happened to Jon if I hadn’t been there.”

“Guy’s a loser. You saw first-hand what he did.” Kai crossed his legs and rested his feet on the stone hearth.

Van wasn’t sure he agreed. Yes, Guy seemed to be on a downward spiral, but there had to be something behind it. “Guy needs help before he does something that lands him in jail or the morgue.”

Van closed his eyes. “I can’t stop thinking about Blain.” For months he’d watched his lover drink until he was out of control, so high on booze that he thought himself invincible. The reef that had ended Blain’s life had only been the last in a long line of near misses.

“I know what you’re thinking, and you can’t help Guy any more than you could Blain. Number one rule in trying to save someone from themselves——first they have to be open to it. Blain wasn’t, and from what I’ve heard, neither is Guy,” Kai argued.

Van got to his feet. Kai was wrong. Van should have been able to help Blain. The truth was, he’d given up several weeks earlier, after Blain had cheated on him. Van had never confided to anyone the details of his sex life with Blain and he didn’t plan to start. With his need to help Guy forefront in his mind, his interest in Jon could take a back seat. “I think I’ll try to get some sleep.”

Kai stood and hugged Van. “I hope I didn’t hurt your feelings.”

Van held Kai tighter. “You didn’t. Just don’t expect me to sit by and watch history repeat itself.”

* * * *

Jon winced as he studied his face in the mirror above the sink. He’d put off fixing Grandpa’s breakfast long enough. There would be questions, and he hoped his answers would be enough.

The violence on Guy’s part hadn’t been necessary. Jon would’ve let the man fuck him if only Guy hadn’t been so impatient and grabby. It was a damn shame the scenario had happened because Jon doubted he’d be able to face Guy again without a combination of fear and shame. The one and only bright spot of the entire evening had been meeting Van. He didn’t know much about the surfer, but he’d like to see him again.

Jon pushed away from the sink. He paused on each step as he made his way downstairs.

“Morning, Grandpa.” Jon leaned over and kissed Bill’s cheek.

“How was the rodeo?”

Jon moved to the counter and grabbed a cup out of the cabinet. “Sorry that you had to make the coffee.”

Bill chuckled. “I’m not completely helpless. Besides, you didn’t get in until almost two, so I figured you needed to sleep.”

In actuality, Jon had made it home by eleven thirty, but he’d spent several hours beside the creek on an old bench his grandpa had made. It was his thinking spot, the same place he’d done all his worrying since he was a kid.

Jon took a sip of coffee. He was about to lie to the only man in the world he loved, and he hated himself for it. “Well, I got drunk and fell down at the rodeo. A couple of friends made me sober up before they’d let me drive home.”

“You know better than to drink too much,” Bill admonished.

“I know.” Jon carried his cup to the table.

“Oh my God.” Bill reached towards Jon’s bruise, but Jon pulled back.

“It’s okay as long as you don’t touch it.”

“Did you put some salve on it?” Bill leant forward in his wheelchair. “That’s a nasty one. Guess it’ll teach you to drink and walk.” He chuckled. “You going back tonight?”

“I doubt it,” Jon said in all honesty. “It’s almost eight o’clock. I’m running three hours behind schedule, and I have no idea what the rest of the day will bring.” In truth, the thought of running into Guy was enough to keep him away.

Bill shook his head. “You need to make time. The hay’s already in. The wheat won’t be ready for another few weeks, so all you have to do is harvest the vegetables that’re ripe.”

Jon couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You want me to go?”

“Sure I do. You look forward to it all year,” Bill explained.

Although Jon doubted he could get his work done on time, it was nice to know his grandpa understood. “We’ll see.” He reached for Grandpa’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Now, what do you feel like having for breakfast?”

* * * *

While Quade and Kai visited with Quade’s ex-secretary, Carol, and her two husbands, Van decided to take a look around the property. He’d never been one to sit and visit for hours at a time, preferring to do something physical with his free time.

“Van,” Kai called, jogging across the expansive lawn. “I think we’re going to head into town for Taco Tuesday at O’Brien’s.”

Van nodded, fingering the business card in the front pocket of his cargo shorts. “Can we swing by the rodeo after we eat?”

Kai grinned. “Anyone in particular you want to see at the rodeo?”

“No,” Van replied. He released the business card and headed towards the large house. “Tomorrow, I’d like someone to take me into Sheridan. I think this vacation would go better if I had a car.”

“Hey, it’s no problem. We can go by the rodeo. I was just yanking your chain,” Kai said, catching up.

Van stopped walking. Hands shoved deep into his pockets, he turned to face Kai. “Quade’s friends seem real nice, but to be honest, there’re other things I’d rather explore than the front porch of someone’s house.”

Kai bit his bottom lip. “Are you sorry you came?”

“No, not at all, but I’m not much of a follower.” Van softened the statement with an easy smile. “The landscape around here is surprisingly beautiful. I’d like to strike out on my own and get a better look.”

Kai seemed to study Van for several moments before nodding. “I’ll drive you into Sheridan tomorrow morning.”

“Thanks.” Van walked to the deep porch with Kai at his side.

Before they reached the porch, Kai elbowed Van. “Does your need for a car have anything to do with Guy? Are you attracted to him?”

Van shook his head. “I still need to have a word or two with Guy, but he’s not my type.”

“What about the other guy? What’d you say his name was?” Kai continued to probe.

“Jon,” Van mumbled. He refused to lie to Kai about his attraction to the farmer, but he’d always been intensely private about his personal life.

Kai smiled. “Is he as cute as his name?”

“Drop it,” Van warned as they neared the others. “All I need is for you to take me into Sheridan for a rental car.”

“You need a car?” Trick Allen asked. He was one of Carol’s husbands and the lead singer of a popular country band that would be performing the last night of the holiday weekend.

“Yeah,” Van answered.

George Manning, the local fire chief, chuckled. “You’ve come to the right place. Trick can fix you right up.”

Trick stood, beer in hand, and gestured to a long metal building. “Step into my showroom.”

Van followed Trick across the yard. He imagined the large garage held expensive sports and luxury cars, neither of which were his style. “You don’t have to do this. I’m more than willing to rent something to run around in.”

Trick pulled out a set of keys and unlocked the large sliding door. “To be honest, you’d be doing me a favour. These run best if they’re used on occasion, and I’m on tour too much to do them justice.” The lights turned on automatically as the door slid open.

“Damn.” Van was immediately drawn to a fire-engine-red Jeep. He wasn’t an expert, but he guessed it was from the fifties. “What year?”

“Fifty-two,” Trick answered, crossing his arms over his chest. “I found it about three years ago in a little town in Kansas. It was beat to hell and sitting in a field along the highway. I made the bus driver get off the highway so I could track down the owner.”

Van knew it was bad etiquette, but he couldn’t help but run his palm over the glossy paint. “Have you ever thought of selling it?”

Trick shook his head. “No, but I’ll loan it to you for the week.” He went on to show Van how to raise and lower the windshield. “I don’t have a top for it, but it won’t be the end of the world if it gets rained on.”

Van gestured to the driver’s seat. “May I?”

“Absolutely.” Trick went over to a locked cabinet and retrieved a key.

Van caught the tossed key ring. His arms broke out in gooseflesh as he started the engine. “Perfect.” He could tell how proud Trick was of the vehicle, and he almost felt guilty for borrowing it, but not enough to turn down the offer.

“You’ll enjoy her,” Trick said.

A thought struck Van. He pulled the business card out of his pocket. “Do you know where this is? I’d like to check it out, but I’m sure you don’t want me to drive on gravel roads.”

Trick took the card for Jon’s produce stand. He studied for a few moments before shaking his head. “George or Carol might know, but I’m the new kid on the block.”

“Oh.” Van took the card back. “Never mind then.”

Trick put his hand on his hips. “It’s a Jeep, not a Cadillac. If you can’t take it off a paved road, what’s the point?”

“Thanks.” Suddenly going with the others to eat tacos was the last thing Van wanted to do. “Would you be offended if I skipped Taco Tuesday?”

Trick gestured to the business card still clutched in Van’s hand. “Sounds like you’ve got something more important on your mind. Go for it. I’ll handle everyone else.”

Van held out his empty hand. “I can’t thank you enough for this.”

“If you find that stand, bring me back some ears of Peaches ’n’’n’ Cream and we’ll be even.”

“Absolutely,” Van agreed. “I have no idea what that is, but I’ll ask Jon.”

“It’s a type of corn on the cob, sweet as sugar,” Trick replied, smacking his lips. “Pick up some extras, and I’ll have Carol cook some up for ya.”