Finaly My Heart's Desire (Meant for Me Book 2) (6 page)

Chapter 8

Everyone glanced at Robin and me when we came to stand near them on the terrace.

"This is amazingly beautiful," was the first thing out of Carly's mouth. Her comment was directed at Robin, but she looked around, gesturing at the lights and decorations.

My gaze drifted instantly to Shane. I felt a longing in my chest similar to the one I felt for three years straight when I was younger.

A stab of guilt followed that feeling. I wasn't a cheater. I would have never even considered straying from Robin, but the temptation of Shane was unbearable. Looking at him caused a painful ache in my neck and jaw like I wanted to cry. I said a prayer right then. I asked God to give me strength to fight this temptation and forgiveness for my wandering heart.

"Will you?" Robin asked, drawing me from my thoughts. He gave my waist a squeeze, and stared at me with a smile, waiting for my answer to the question.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I missed the question."

"Mr. Randall was asking if you'd carry on the tradition of the Buller Christmas party once the torch is passed to you," Robin said, motioning to the guy in the group who must have been Mr. Randall.

"We've been coming for four years," the guy said. "It's become something we look forward to every year."

That was
not
the sort of question I wanted to answer right then. It wasn't even something I wanted to consider. I smiled as graciously as I could. "I think it will be a long while before any sort of torch gets passed," I said, maintaining a smile.

Robin squeezed me again. "We'll carry it on," he said. "I dare say it's a San Antonio tradition."

"It's a
Texas
tradition," Mr. Randall stated, adding to my nausea.

"Shane Rollins, is that you?" I heard from across the patio.

Our entire group glanced over to see who had yelled out. There was a woman standing in the midst of a group of five or six other people. She was smiling straight at Shane and waving for him to come over to the place where they were standing.

I could see recognition hit Shane as he smiled and waved. He glanced around at us apologetically. "Katherine and her husband, Michael, are both my clients," he said. He shifted his attention back the other group, and motioned that he'd be right there before focusing on us again. "If you guys would please excuse me, I'll be back in a bit." He glanced at Brock, who gave him a reassuring nod.

I watched as Shane walked in the direction of the other group. They greeted him with excitement as if he was a long lost friend.

"What's he do?" Robin asked, looking at Micah.

"He's a physical therapist," Micah said.

Robin's eyes went to the group where Shane was now standing. "He must work with athletes," he said.

"That's right!" Mr. Randall added, excitedly. "Michael plays for the Astros."

Brock confirmed that a lot of Shane's patients were athletes, but we only talked about that for a minute longer before changing the subject to Brock and the business Micah wanted to help him start.

"Do you think there's anyone you could introduce them to?" I whispered in Robin's ear at a moment while everyone else was preoccupied with conversation. I figured it might be the only way they'd connect with the people they were looking for, and I knew Robin wasn't planning on making any introductions. He looked around.

"I want to grab another drink anyway," he said. "I'll take him with me and see if I come across anyone who fits the bill."

I smiled at him. "Thank you," I said.

"Oh, don't worry," he whispered, winking. "You'll pay me back." He asked if Micah and Brock wanted to accompany him to get a drink, and they agreed readily.

The three of them took off, leaving Carly and I to talk to Mr. Randall and his cohort whom I did not know. The two gentlemen only remained there for a few seconds before moving along to the next group, and Carly and I were both happy to be left alone.

"Are you okay?" she asked the second no one could hear us.

I glanced at her. "Why? Do I not look okay?"

"No, you look amazing," she said. "I was just wondering how you were holding up with him being here and everything."

I glanced over to the area were Shane was standing and let out a long sigh. "I can't believe he still affects me this way after all these years. It's all these feelings I can't control. I keep asking God to give me strength to ignore them."

"What if God doesn't want you to ignore them?" she asked.

My head whipped around, and I regarded her like she was off her rocker. "I have a boyfriend," I said.

She shrugged. "You're not married."

"I might as well be," I said. "You heard him making plans just now. He does that stuff all the time." I gave her a disparaging look. "That sort of talk should make me happy, shouldn't it?"

She flashed her palms at me in a gesture of surrender. "I don't mean to make things harder. I was just saying you weren't married yet."

Just then, our conversation was cut short by sounds of chaos. I glanced toward the ruckus just in time to watch a man dive into the pool.

Children had a designated area at the party. It was a game room set up in the basement with a couple of caretakers and plenty of activities to keep them out of their parents' hair. It never failed, however, that some of them were not content to stay in there, and a few children always mingled with the guests at the party. Two such children were standing beside the pool looking at the man who had just jumped in with great interest.

Carly and I, along with several other people began making our way to the pool to see what was going on. Up and out of the pool came a little girl. The chiffon of her red Christmas dress was bigger than she was even though it was now soaking wet. She began to sputter and cry the instant she was set onto the side of the pool, and a few gasping women who arrived there before Carly and me rushed forward to help and comfort her.

It took me a second to see that it was Shane who had jumped in after her. He had pulled himself out of the pool and was climbing out before I fully understood what I had just witnessed.

"She was sinking like a stone!" one of the little boys exclaimed with wide eyes and the hint of a nervous smile.

One of the adults barked at him for making such a comment and asked if he'd been the one to push her in. We could all see the fear in the boy's expression as he adamantly shook his head. "No sir," he said. "She fell in all by herself."

Seconds later, towels were hurled in the direction of both Shane and the crying girl. Mrs. Buller, being an experienced party hostess, could smell disaster a mile away and was on the scene instantly.

"Where is her mother?" she asked, calmly taking charge of the situation.

"She's Abby Winston," one of the boys said helpfully.

Mrs. Buller looked at the hired help who had brought the towels. "Find Mr. Buller. Tell him to locate Tess Winston and have her meet me in the blue bathroom." The server nodded and took off.

Then Mrs. Buller shifted her attention to me. "Emily, if you don't mind, take this gentleman through the back entrance to Robin's old room to get a change of clothes." She eyed Shane who was toweling off his face and hair. "Robin should have something suitable for him to change into."

I nodded, and motioned for Shane to follow me. I took him around the back of the terrace as she requested, so we wouldn't cause a scene. He followed me, and we walked in silence until we got to the back door.

"Hold on a second. Let me take my shoes off so I don't track a bunch of water in the house."

I looked down at them and smiled. "I don't think it really matters at this point. You're bringing water in with you even if you take them off."

He stooped to remove them anyway and turned them upside down, letting the excess water gush out. He took off his socks and stuffed them into his shoes before using the towel to dry his feet. "Now I won't feel so bad," he said.

"Feel bad?" I asked. "You're the one who just rescued a little girl from drowning."

He shook his head humbly as we started into the house. "Someone else would have done it if I hadn't got there first."

"Well, you have nothing to be sorry for," I said from over my shoulder as he followed me.

"Are you taking me to your boyfriend's room to borrow some of his clothes?" I heard him ask.

"It's his old room," I said. "He doesn't live here anymore."

"Is this a back way or something?" he asked as we made our way up the narrow, dark stairway.

I nodded. "Mrs. Buller wanted us to come up this way so you wouldn't have to walk through the party soaking wet."

He followed me all the way to Robin's room. I turned on a lamp before crossing to the closet to choose something for him to change into. I could feel Shane's eyes on me the whole time. I wanted to talk to him, or at least look at him, but I just couldn't let myself. I went into the closet where I chose a black suit with a grey shirt and matching tie. I almost chose a light blue shirt to go with his eyes, but that would have tortured me. I grabbed a pair of black shoes, socks, and a pair of boxers on my way out.

"You can change in this bathroom. I'll wait right here so I can walk you back down." I sighed and smiled as I handed the bundle to him, my eyes catching his for the briefest of seconds before I stared down again. He bent his head in an effort to make me hold the eye contact, and it worked. My eyes locked on his even though it made me extremely nervous.

He shook his head slightly and gave me a repentant smile. He opened his mouth to say something, but then stopped, looking like he changed his mind. "Thank you for this," he said simply. I stared at him, and he stared right back at me for what seemed like a hundred years before he lifted the bundle of clothes. "You don't have to wait for me. I can make my way back down."

"I knew you when I was a kid," I said. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

He had already turned to head to the bathroom, but he stopped and turned to stare at me. "You knew me?" he asked, tilting his head at me curiously.

"It was a long time ago," I said. "Go ahead and get changed. I'll wait here and tell you about it on our way back to the party."

He seemed reluctant, but turned without another word. He was only in there for a few minutes. I spent the whole time alternating between praying for guidance and glancing at the door to make sure we were alone. The bedroom was dimly lit, so light spilled into it when he opened the bathroom door. He looked so different from Robin that I didn't even recognize that it was Robin's suit. It fit him well, so they must've been about the same size, but Shane filled it out differently.

"The shoes didn't fit, but mine are fine. I put on dry socks and wiped them out as good as I could." He walked toward me, holding Robin's shoes and the wet suit that he'd carefully wrapped in a towel.

"You can leave the shoes right there," I said gesturing to the floor. He bent to set them down, and when he stood, I instinctually reached out to straighten his collar.

"How'd you know me?" he asked.

My eyes snapped up to meet his. His face left me breathless just as it had done all those years ago. I considered lying and telling him I had been mistaken about recognizing him, but I felt an indescribable need to tell him the truth. "I had the biggest crush on you the whole time I was in middle school, basically. You were always at the YMCA, and I went there with a friend just to see you." I smiled shyly glancing down since I could no longer hold eye contact after that kind of confession. "I think you were a few years older than me," I continued, still looking at his shoulder, and his arm, and anything else that wasn't his face. "So you never noticed me or anything. It wasn't really a big deal. I was probably pretty dorky back then."

"I thought you looked familiar when I saw you at the wedding."

I shook my head, trying to let him off the hook. "I'm sure you don't remember me," I said. "I called the YMCA when I was 14 and asked to talk to you. I'd been trying to get your attention for forever and thought you'd know exactly who I was." I paused, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks.
Why was I telling him all this?
"I called up there to talk to you, but you had no idea who I was. You thought it was a prank call—someone named Isabel."

Due to the embarrassing nature of my story, my eyes had been wandering again. Shane reached out and touched my cheek for a split second just to get me to look at him again, which I did. He stared at me with a pained expression.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know what to say other than I was obviously a big idiot." He sighed and gave me a regretful half-smile as he scanned me from head to toe. "Right about now, I'm thinking that might have been the worst mistake of my life." He paused before continuing, "Listen, I know you're engaged, and I don't mean to be inappropriate, but you should know I've never seen someone look as beautiful as you do in that red dress. I kissed those other girls' hands just so I could get away with kissing yours." He lifted his eyebrows and gave me a playful smile, which I returned with a shy one. "You're absolutely stunning, Emily," he said sincerely. "I'm sorry I didn't see it then. I was a fool."